


Chronicles of Rory and Logan as Told in Key Moments

by MidLifeWriter



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2018-12-31 04:41:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 43
Words: 100,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12124731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidLifeWriter/pseuds/MidLifeWriter
Summary: What we didn't see in AYITL and what happens afterward.





	1. Hamburg

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, version number three. First of all, thank you to everyone who read and commented on my Logan story. You may have been wondering why there haven't been any updates to the Logan story and well, it was because I hit a wall; a huge, heavy, steel reinforced writers' wall. Part of it was real life taking over and part of it was me wanting and needing to change things in my Rory story after discovering things about her in the process of writing the Logan story. In the end, it was just easier to start fresh than edit.
> 
> So this is their story. Unlike my others, this one will go back and forth in time, showing how thoughts, feelings, and decisions that we didn't see during the show and how they influence their approach in how they deal with matters post-AYITL. My hope is that the story gives more insight as to why they carried on the way they did both individually and as a "couple". Lots of this is brand new, while there are some passages/chapters that will seem familiar. 
> 
> In writing this version I am fully aware that I am violating the adage of "don't fix what ain't broke." With that in mind, I welcome your comments, especially if it looks like I am George Lucasing the story.
> 
> As always thanks so much for taking the time to read!

**Prologue: Hamburg**

_June 25, 2015_

_Hamburg, Germany_

_Her phone woke her up; a text alert informing her that due to inclement weather in New York, her evening flight home was canceled. She immediately turned on her computer and jumped onto her airline website where she rebooked her flight to early the next day._ With any luck _, she thought to herself,_ I could spend the day volunteering my seat for flights and getting my next travel gig paid _. Traveling as much as she has the past several years, she’s learned a trick or two about working the system._

_Rather than going back to sleep she decided to get ready for the day. Later that morning she had a meeting with British Feminist icon and environmental activist, Naomi Shropshire. Naomi was celebrating the 20 th anniversary of a landmark legislation on sexual assault that not only fundamentally changed the laws in Britain but also had rippling influence in the rest of the Western world. Naomi spearheaded the grassroots movement that led to the eventual passing of the law. Naomi was the woman of the hour, and thanks to _The New Yorker _, she had the opportunity to interview her._

_After two cups of coffee, a pastry, and a shower, she proceeded to get ready for the day, rehearsing her questions and making notes as she applied her make-up, did her hair, and put on her lucky red dress. Once she finished she stood in front of the mirror, staring at the image of a woman she did not entirely recognize. At age 32, she felt a bit worn. While her career as a journalist brought her much joy and personal satisfaction, the last couple of years had been brutal. Life as a freelancer brought many opportunities, but the need for stability, in the career, financial, and yes, emotional sense, was growing. “Ms. Shropshire”, she said to her reflection in the mirror, “I’m Rory Gilmore from_ The New Yorker _. It’s a pleasure to meet your acquaintance.” She repeated her introduction until she found the right words, tone, and inflection. With that, she smoothed out her dress, took a deep cleansing breath, gathered work materials, and headed to her meeting._

_____________________________________________________

_At that same moment in a hotel suite not too far away, Logan Huntzberger woke up with a start. At first, he felt disoriented. Having been traveling for the last two weeks, it took him a minute two remember where he was. Hamburg was his last stop. He was here for yet another meeting, this time with his American counterpart who was passing through town, or so that was the plan. As it turned out, due to bad weather in New York, her arrival was delayed until the next day. Initially annoyed, Logan decided to take the schedule change in stride. He had been working non-stop for the last five months and he decided to take this as fate telling him to take the day to explore and rest before returning to the “real world"._

_He turned off his phone and then went back to sleep, waking up again two hours later.  He took a quick survey of his messages before going for a run along the lakefront. Then, after a shower and a leisurely breakfast, he set off on his sightseeing adventure, starting the day at the International Maritime Museum, where he spent the next four hours. He always loved boats, sailing, and everything that had to do with Maritime life. Having arrived in Hamburg during a weekday and low tourist season, Logan had the Museum practically to himself, allowing himself an extraordinary amount of time to pepper the docent with questions and an even more embarrassing amount playing in the Museum’s sailing simulator._

_As he left the museum in search of a café and a light lunch, he could not help but laugh at himself. Ever since he left California and settled back into life on the executive track at Huntzberger Media, Logan changed. No longer was he the reckless kid that pulled pranks and sunk (and stole) yachts, but the more mature, responsible, and at times he thought, boring, uptight version of himself. It wasn’t so much that he disliked the idea of being a productive member of society and striving to do well, but the fact that the notions of being, doing, striving above the norm felt overreaching. Even during his so-called “leisure time”, there was always something to accomplish; there was no mountain too high, no river too fast, no depth too deep that he did not feel pressed to conquer.   He was in full-on adulting mode, no, he was full-on Huntzberger mode, and for some reason, today the idea was not sitting well with him. There wandering around the Museum and playing sailor, Logan realized that the first time in a long time that he felt not so adult, allowing himself to let go and have genuine stupid fun. It was comforting and yet unsettling.  Why he just couldn’t pinpoint._

_He was deeply contemplating this realization when he ducked into a café. He wasn’t inside a full minute before he saw her sitting at a table next to the window, wearing a stunning red dress. The early afternoon sun shined slightly above her, making her hair and ivory skin sparkle. She appeared to be deep in thought, writing notes as if she were studying for an exam. Realizing and embarrassed that he was staring, he quickly moved towards the exit before he could be seen. Yet, as he was about to open the door to leave, something made him stop. With a deep breath, he turned around and approached her. “Of course I would run into you at a coffee shop," he said…_

__________________________________________________________________

_Relief._ Oh, what a relief _Rory thought as she left the hotel where she met with Naomi.  The meeting went well, in fact, it went very well.   Naomi and Rory seemed to have a great connection. Sure she seemed a bit goofy and over-the-top, but growing up in Stars_ Hollow _and being the daughter of Lorelai, granddaughter of Emily Gilmore, and great-granddaughter of Lorelai I, she knew she had a handle goofy, over-the-top, and then some.  Still, in the excitement of making that connection with Naomi, there was still that lingering feeling doubt. For a while now she questioned as to whether or not Journalism was indeed her career destiny. The world was more connected now, giving everyone with a device and network connection a voice, consequently turning the Journalism profession on its ear. Although she loved the writing and researching stories, it was the other side of it, chasing the stories, the cutthroat competition, the having to constantly defend herself and her professional ethics, that was wearing thin._ Is there more out there? _she found herself thinking on more than one occasion.  What that was, she could never pinpoint._

 _Shortly after her meeting, Rory found herself nestled in a cozy café. As she sipped her coffee and chewed on her sandwich she contemplated what more her life could be. Journalism was all she wanted to do since she was young._ But then again _, she told herself,_ you always thought you would go to Harvard, and where did you end up? Yale. _She was in the midst of creating a “leave journalism pro/con list” in her journal when she felt herself develop goosebumps and sensed someone approaching her. “Of course I would run into you in a coffee shop”, familiar voice said. She looked up, utterly gobsmacked. There, standing before her wearing his familiar smirk, was Logan Huntzberger._

___________________________________________________________________

_It took a beat or two before she responded. “Oh my God, what are you doing here?” She exclaimed.  Despite the look of utter shock on her face, Logan thought that she looked more beautiful than he remembered, “I got stood up by an associate so I am wallowing in coffee” he bantered back._

_“So how are you?” She asked after inviting him to sit down. It was a loaded question.   To say that this was their most awkward moment to date was an understatement. Their last memory of each was the profound heartbreak they felt as he walked away from her after she turned down his marriage proposal. They thought about each often throughout the years; on good days they wished each well and hoped each other was happy, while on bad days they wondered what life would be like if she had made a different decision and said yes to his proposal._

_They started their conversation telling each other things that they secretly already knew as mutual friends and acquaintances, Yale Alumni news, and the internet made everyone’s life somewhat public, especially those in the media business. Yet, the more they talked, the more relaxed they became. Soon they found themselves falling into the familiar banter that they had honed so many years ago. He shared with her stories about his adventures in Silicon Valley, his decision to come back to family business on his own terms, and that he was engaged. He seemed happy, and she was happy for him. She shared stories of her adventures on the Obama Presidential campaign, her travels afterward, her current projects, and that she was in a relationship with a man named Paul. He could not help but feel pride for all she had accomplished._

_They ended up spending the rest of the afternoon together, going on a cheesy yet informative formal tour of the Beatles’ Hamburg haunts.   After the tour they continued to see the sites, all the while continuing their reconnection; updating each other on relatives and mutual friends, debating issues of the day, exchanging bits and pieces about their lives. Afternoon turned into evening and after more coffee, dinner, and after dinner drinks, Logan walked Rory to her hotel. Standing outside, they exchanged contact information, pledging a heartfelt promise to stay in touch. Then, after a long, tight, affectionate hug, Rory kissed him on the cheek and with a smile and a wave turned and walked into her hotel, where she walked leisurely the elevator and up to her room, and upon closing the door, dropped the floor and dissolved into tears. Meanwhile, as Logan watched Rory’s departing image, he felt completely immobilized, thanks to the feeling the electricity pulsating through his body as the result of that goodbye kiss._


	2. Truth Among Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reality and consequences begin to catch-up with Logan and Rory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may be familiar to some of you.
> 
> Before I forget, a very overdue and special thanks to all my fellow Rogan/Sophie writers both here and on FF. I delved very deeply into these stories, both old and new. They not only provided insight and inspiration but also were a very welcomed distraction from serious happening going on in my real life. My writing is truly enriched by your talents. Thanks again!

 

 

**Truth Among Friends**

 

November 5, 2016

London, England

 

 _Oh, to be home_ , Logan thought to himself as he sat in the back seat of the car taking him home from Heathrow. The last two weeks have been a marathon of late-night work sessions and business trips. He was just getting back from the second of six trips that he had scheduled for the next month. With his wedding coming up in a few weeks, Logan felt it was important to get all his work affairs in order so he could celebrate the culmination of the “Dynastic Plan” and enjoy his honeymoon with no work worries hanging over his head.

At least that’s what he told people.  


In truth, he was trying to escape.  He needed to escape the profound sadness that had befallen him ever since he got back from his trip to see Rory. While his official reason to see her was for closure, in reality, he went there with the hope that she would tell him that she wanted to be with him. Alas, he didn’t get what he wanted, so he had to move on, move on and embrace who and what was waiting for him in London.   Yes, there was a twinge that something was missing, yes the idea that he was settling was ever present in his mind, but that could be remedied with time. He just needed to get over Rory once and for all and then life would be good.

At least that’s what he told himself.

The problem was lately he’s been having trouble believing himself. 

With each day that brought him closer to his wedding, Logan felt his resolve being eaten away by the lingering doubt that was planted a year and a half ago when he reconnected with Rory in Hamburg.Rory’s words,“Are you really going to marry Odette?”echoed in his head at inopportune moments, making him lose his train of thought, stop him in his tracks, or catch his breath,The more he thought about it, the more his concerns grew far beyond his feelings for Rory.For the past year, he had been engaged in an affair with a woman with whom he was hopelessly in love.The fact was, if Rory would have told him that she loved him and wanted to be with him, he would have left Odette.But what if he had not run into Rory in Hamburg?What if Rory had not been a part of the equation at all, would he still feel the same way about his impending marriage?It didn’t help that he had genuine feelings for Odette.It was not like what he was embracing was so horrible. In fact, the life that he was headed towards would be the envy of anyone. He was marrying a beautiful, intelligent, generous, down-to-earth, strong woman, who was one of his best friends and greatest confidant. They got along well, had the same values, wanted to build a future that would provide the genuine love and comforts lacking in their own lives. Plans had been made, invites and RSVPs sent out, prenups negotiated, a beautiful life envisioned, a commitment has been made.But was it enough?Was it enough to build a life that would be true?

The questions continued to plague him as he arrived home mid-morning. _It could very well be cold feet_ , he thought to himself, it could very well be that life with Odette would make him happy and that this doubt was nothing more than mourning his relationship with Rory.He knew one thing,  and that was he needed to talk to Odette about it.He needed to get it out in the open once and for all.No secrets, no hiding, no more letting circumstances control his life.

Logan entered the flat as quietly as possible.  Knowing that Odette had an event the previous night, he took great pains not to disturb her in case she was still sleeping. He was a bit surprised to see a pair of men’s shoes in the foyer.  _Moritz must be here_ , Logan thought. Moritz was Odette’s cousin. They were as close as Logan was with Honor. His presence in their apartment was fairly regular.  Logan walked upstairs to find no one around. The bed had obviously been slept in so he knew that Odette was home (Odette was very OCD about unmade beds, she wouldn’t have left without making it.) He heard noise from the kitchen and walked in.

What he found was totally unexpected.

There standing at the opposite end was Odette, engaged in a passionate embrace with a man he’d never seen before. At that moment Logan felt like he was having an out of body experience. He heard an exclamation in French followed the statement, “Logan I didn’t think you would be home till this afternoon.”

“Umm, Odette? “ Logan said rather neutrally, “It seems we have some things to talk about...”

________________________________________

Logan left to get a tea at the cafe around the corner, giving himself time to recover from the shock and Odette’s gentleman friend to leave without incident. Upon his return he found Odette sitting on the freshly made bed.The fact that she cleaned up made him giggle to himself; even in extremely difficult situations, Odette’s chosen way of coping was to clean.

“Hi,”  he said.

“Hi,”  she responded.

Logan walked over and sat next to her on the bed.  They sat in silence for a while, not looking at each other, not knowing what to say.  “I met him six months ago.”  Odette finally said.

“Uh huh.”

“His name is Benoit.  He is a research doctor with the  _Institut de National du Cancer._ I met him during the week-long colloquium at the  _Institut_ in January; he had just started which is why I had not met him before.  We were introduced, we shook hands and I instantly felt this electricity.  It was very disconcerting. 

“I see,” Logan responded.

"We spent a week together at that colloquium _._ It very difficult because I felt so attracted to him.  I found myself flirting with him rather innocently, I couldn’t help myself.  Once the colloquium was over, we went our separate ways.  I thought this was a minor incident; I was engaged not dead, so of course, I would find other men attractive.  I didn’t act on it.  Then around the beginning of March, there was an event and not only was he there, but we were seated next to each other.  Blame it on the wine, blame it on the strong feelings, I don’t know, but that night is when it started.  We were inseparable after that.  I knew it was wrong, but again, I couldn’t help it.  I attributed the affair to what is the term?  Cold feet?  I thought I was just nervous to get married.  I thought I would get this out and then you and I could get married and live in peace."

“Okay.”

There was more silence.

“Logan, say something please.” Odette pleaded.

Logan got up off the bed and started walking around.  He started to laugh in an exasperated, ironic way.   _How funny that we are in this position_ , he thought.  He looked at her and saw the pain in her eyes.  She was feeling guilty, he couldn’t let her take all the blame.

“What if I were to tell you that I was seeing someone else too.  For the exact reason that you were seeing Benoit?  What if I were to tell you that I rationalized the relationship the same way you rationalized your’s.”

Odette looked at Logan incredulously.  “You were seeing someone else?”

“Yes,” he said apologetically.

“For how long?”

“About a year.  It pretty much ended when you moved in, but was official about a month ago.”

“A YEAR!?!?”

Now Odette was up and stomping around the flat, beside herself, “A YEAR?!?!”

“Whoa, I catch you with another man and you’re mad at me?”

“A year Logan!   I was feeling guilty all this time and it turns out our relationship has been a mess for A YEAR!!!!  Who is she, Logan?”

“Rory Gilmore.”

Odette knew the name.  Logan first told her about Rory a few years ago, when she and Logan started getting serious.  Odette knew that Logan had proposed to Rory and she turned him down.  Her name would come up now and then.  Odette would see articles Rory had written on his tablet, or Colin, Finn, or Robert would bring her up in conversation when discussing their college days.  Never in her wildest dreams would she have guessed that this mystery woman would play such a critical role in her life.

“I thought you lost touch with her?  How did you reconnect?”

“When I went to Hamburg last year.  We saw each other in a cafe.  She was scheduled for a flight home that day, but her trip was delayed because of bad weather in New York, so we spent the day together playing tourist.  Nothing happened.”

Now it was Odette’s turn for one-word responses, “Ok.”

“About a month later, she came to London on assignment, and well, that’s when things restarted…”

Ode walked to the window and looked outside.  This revelation had answered so many questions.  Like the earring, she once found on the floor, why she once found her pictures put away in a drawer, and the many times she could not get in touch with him when she called…

“Do you love her?”

“Yes.”

Odette walked over and sat next to Logan on the couch.  Looking straight ahead she opined,  “We are really awful people.”

“The worst,” Logan responded in kind.

“When did we become such cowards?” Odette observed.

“I wouldn’t call it cowardice, I would call it confusion.  You are an amazing woman Odette, I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Yes, I get it, I felt the same way.  I didn't want to hurt you either,"  Odette replied.  "But Logan, let's follow that line of thinking, shall we? We didn't want to hurt each other, and yet, there was this need for us to be happy, which these other relationships provided.  So we lied to each other about them.  We rationalized said relationships by lying to ourselves.  Looking into the future, you and I go on, break the other relationships that made us happy and get married, so again, so not to hurt the other.  In order to cope with that decision, we have to continue the lie to ourselves.  Then, years from now,  when we no longer can lie anymore, we go through a crazy nasty divorce.  And why?  Because we got married because we didn’t want to hurt each other in the first place.”

Logan started to laugh, “Wow, now that you've spelled it out it appears not only are we awful, but also pretty damn stupid.”

Odette looked at Logan with a wry smile.  He smiled back.  She leaned over to hug him.  They sat there for a minute hugging each other very tight.  He kissed her on the head before she let go.

“Benoit came here to ask me to come back to him.”

“What did you say?”

“I said yes.”

“Well, if that’s where you believe you belong then that’s where you should be.  Anyway, even if you said no, I think the events of this morning have officially put the kibosh on the ‘Dynastic Plan’.”

"Oh, 'The Plan'! " Odette reflected sarcastically, "No more 'ethereal centerpieces reminding one of a 'romantic winter wonderland' "

"No more 300 guest reception of which we only know 50, and like not even half," Logan added.

"No need to sacrifice 150 lobster for appetizers."

"The crates of champagne would have been nice."

"Well, we would have been needed to get through that mess."

"It really would have been a circus."

"I always despised circuses."

“Your stepmom and my mother are going to crushed.”

“Ah, the silver lining.”

They both let out ironic giggles and hugged again.

“How is this Logan?  How is it that our engagement just blew up in our faces, but we are friends?”

“Maybe because this is how our relationship was meant to be.”

‘What are you going to do Logan?  You said that it’s ended with Rory.  Are you going to try to get her back?”

“It seems that’s my only option right?  I have to try.”

“I want you to be happy.”

“I want the same for you.”

 

Little did Logan know, that at the same time across the pond, Rory was having her own "moment of truth".

“Mom?” Rory asked tentatively.

“Yea?” Lorelai replied somewhat absentmindedly.

“I’m pregnant.”

 Lorelai looked at her daughter, "That's wonderful honey, " she responded obviously in utter shock, " that's wonderful."


	3. The River Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lane: Friendship, honestly, love.

**The River Denial**

 

_April 23, 2016_

_Stars_ Hollow

_It was a cool yet sunny spring afternoon, a perfect day for a birthday party. Today family and friends were gathering to celebrate Kwan and Steve’s ninth birthday. This one was extra special because it was also the debut of Kwan and Steve’s yet to be named band, which they formed along with four other friends from school._

_Parenthood had interesting joys and challenges for Lane and Zach.  They were a very close family, with Lane, in particular, working hard to create a more open atmosphere than that of her own childhood.  To say that Lane and Zach were excited and overjoyed when their sons showed an interest in music was an understatement.   The day that the boys asked their parents to teach them something on their respective musical instruments was one of the happiest days of their parental lives._

_However, with the joy came the bewilderment and confusion. While the boys developed their love for playing music, classic Jazz, french fries, and good-natured irreverent sense of humor, they also couldn’t go a day without a gluten-free vegan flax muffin, didn’t have much interest in watching TV, and, much to Mrs. Kim’s delight, enjoyed going to church. Shocking as it was to Lane and Zach, they supported their interest in religion, and in particular The Seventh Day Adventist lifestyle. They kept the Sabbath, tried to be vegetarians for a month (Lane and Zach admiringly cheated with hamburger runs to Luke's.) They even went to church services as a family, although LAne and Zach eventually stepped back and let Lane’s parents take over escorting the twins (nice to have Sunday morning off, they reasoned.)_

_All various influences that helped fuel the growth of the Kim-Van Herbig Boy were converging today. In addition to their band’s debut, they were also debuting their first composition, “Jesus is Peace” a work that made Mrs. Kim pleased as punch while further fueling Lane’s maternal confusion._

_An hour into the party, Steven, Kwan, and their friends took the stage. Rory, Lorelai, and Luke took their places in the audience next to Lane, Zach, and Mr. and Mrs. Kim. Their 6-song set was all covers, spanning all sorts of genres that reflected the boys’ audiophile upbringing.   When it was time for the last song, their song, Steve took the mic. “I want to thank you all for coming and celebrating our birthday. This next song is an original composition. We are dedicating this to our grandparents and to our Mom and Dad. A little old school/retro tune just for you.” The band began to play. It started out as what you would expect from a contemporary Christian song. A clean and reverent beginning, which quickly turned taking on the flavor of the mid-1980s – early 90s mash-up. A bit of The Clash, mixed in with the Ramones, with an underline beat that reflected early 90s hip-hop all comingled with lyrics reflecting on how Jesus was peace.   It was a combination that left Rory and Lorelai a bit bewildered. Their confusion, however, turned into amusement when they turned and looked at Lane and Zach who, at the end of the song, jumped out of their seats clapping and whistling. It was obvious, Lane and Zach would cheer for anything their kids did._

_Later that evening Rory was at Lane’s house helping her put away items from the party. “So, Jesus is Peace.” Rory opened cautiously, “That was interesting.”_

_Lane busted out laughing._

_“Honesty? I don’t know how to feel about it! I mean, I am immensely proud that they even had the idea and even more that they were able to create a song. But wow! A religious song influenced by The Clash, Tribe Called Quest, and sermons by Pastor Cho? That’s weird right?”_

_“It’s not your typical piece of work.”_

_“ I don’t know what was more strange. The song itself, or my mother’s reaction to it. Had that been me, I would have been grounded for a month.  Steve and Kwan? They’re geniuses! “_

_“Grandparent prerogative I guess.”_

_“I guess so. Did you take any pictures? I was so set on_ videoing _that I didn’t take any stills.”_

_"Yea, I took a bunch. Here,” Rory said as she unlocked her phone and handed it to Lane, “pick the ones you like and then message them to yourself.”_

_Lane sat down to look at the photos while Rory continued to clean up. As she worked, Rory could hear Lane reacting to the pictures of her sons as she scrolled through the pictures. “These are really great Rory! Oh, I like that action shot of Kwan on the snare…Oh! My! God! Oh! My! God! My eyes! My eyes!”_

_Upon hearing Lane Rory ran over to the living room to find Lane her hand over her mouth, staring shocked at Rory’s phone which she had thrown on the couch. “What’s the matter?!? What happened??!?” Rory urgently asked, Then it hit her… her phone…her pictures!_

_Aside from the images of the party, Rory phone also contained photos of a weekend getaway with Logan to Santorini, which included some rather racy shots._

_“Oh no, oh Lane, I’m so sorry, I forgot about those pictures.”_

_“It’s ok. I’m a big girl. It was just shocking. And well_ ummm _…Rory? Is that who I think it is in those photos?”_

_Rory let out a deep sigh. She was caught, there was no point in lying. “If you mean are those pictures of Logan, yes, that is him.”_

_“Those look pretty recent. As in I gave you that sweater you were wearing for Christmas recent. Rory, what going on? Are you back with Logan? I thought he was engaged?”_

_“I’m not back with Logan per se. We have an agreement, we are together when we are together, we are not when we’re not.”_

_“You didn’t fully answer my question. Is he still engaged?”_

_Rory stood there silent, not looking at Lane._

_“Oh, Rory…” Lane exclaimed with drama and pain, “how long has this been going on?”_

_“For almost a year. We ran into each other last summer and well, it started from there.”_

_“And what does his fiancée have to say about this? ”_

_“I don’t know…We don’t talk about her”_

_Lane just looked at Rory in silent shock._

_“Look, it's not like we see each other all the time.  Those photos were taken after a couple of months without seeing each other."_

 

_"I don't know, you've been going to London an awful lot.  Tell me do you communicate with him  when you are not in London?"_

 

_"Yes."_

 

_"How often?"_

 

_"I don't know.  Once a week we text.  We email and had the occasional Facetime conversation."_

 

_"Oh yes, that sounds casual."_

 

_"Don’t you start judging me. We are both adults. I did not force Logan into something he didn’t want to do.”_

_“Rory, it’s not like he is seeing someone else casually, he is engaged! "_

_“I know!!_ _This is supposed to be just casual fun, no strings attached. It’s Vegas. Whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”_

_“There is one problem with that logic.”_

_“What’s that?”_

_“You hate Vegas.”_

_“No, I don’t.”_

 

_“Excuse me, but I seem to remember a rather long phone conversation with someone who, on her first and only trip to Vegas, sat in a coffee shop and read a book rather than hit a Casino or take in a show.”_

_“You point being?”_

_“It didn't work for you in reality, what makes you think_ _theory would be any better?”_

_Exasperated Rory turned and walked to the dining room where she started pulling table clothes out of boxes._

_“Look, we are adults, we entered into this with our eyes wide open.   I don’t need to be judged by you.”_

_“Whoa, whoa” challenged Lane, “ I am not judging you. Ok, maybe a tiny tiny bit, but I am more concerned. Rory, situations like this never end well. There is no getting out of this unscathed. How do you plan to handle things when he gets married?”_

_“I don’t know just move on.”_

_“Just like that?”_

_Rory kept sorting through the table clothes in silence._

 

_“You haven’t talked about that have you?” Lane asked._

_“No, we haven’t”_

_“What does Lorelai have to say about this?”_

_“She doesn’t know, I haven’t told her.”_

_“Lorelai doesn’t know? Well, ok.”_

_“What is that suppose to mean?”_

_“You haven’t told Lorelai? You never ever not tell Lorelai, unless it’s something you don’t fully believe in. I don’t think you’re ok with this at all Rory.”_

_“I am!”_

_“Keep swimming in that river honey.”_

_Rory glared at Lane._

_“Look,” said Lane, changing to a softer tone. “Yes, you are adults. Yes, this is your decision and none of my business, but I see you swimming towards danger. You think I’m just going to say, ‘it’s ok, you’re just in a relationship with an engaged man who you were in love with not too long ago.’ No, Rory.”_

_“I don’t moralistic lectures. You don’t need to save my soul.”_

_“This is not about soul-saving! This is about you setting yourself up for a world of hurt. I can’t sit back and watch you do that.”_

_“Then don't. This is my business.”_

_“Ok then.”_

_“Ok!”_

_The two friends stood there looking at each other waiting for the other to make the next move._

_Rory spoke first, “You know, I’m going to put these table clothes in the washer, and then I think I will take off. Alright with you?”_

_“That’s fine.   I have to take these boxes and sort them in the attic. It may take a while, so I might not be able to see you go.”_

_“That’s ok. I’ll be sure to say goodbye before I leave.”_

_“Ok, well thanks for coming and for your help.”_

_“You’re welcome.”_

_“Good.”_

_Rory took the tablecloths and headed to the basement. Lane stared after her with a look of deep worry._


	4. Curveball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory has new for Lane. Lane and Rory discuss life as they know it.

**Curveball**

 

November 7, 2016

 Stars Hollow

 

It was Tuesday morning after the wedding and Rory was headed to Kim’s Antiques. With Mr. and Mrs. Kim out for the week at an antiques collectors' conference, Lane felt it would be a good time to inventory and update their online catalog. Rory was more than happy to help her good friend with this task. As Rory walked from her childhood home to the Kim’s house, she thought about the hundreds upon thousands of time she transversed this route, grateful that it was permanently ingrained in her muscle memory because today, if Rory were to rely on her mental memory, she probably would have gotten lost.

It has been a little over a week since she found out she was pregnant, and about 36 hours since she told her mother. While Rory was not 100% sure as to how Lorelai was going to react to her news, what she got was totally unexpected.

Other than, “Wonderful...that’s wonderful” Lorelai had not said a word.

_It was a shock._ Rory told herself, and _telling her wedding day was completely unfair. She needs time to process all the changes, after all becoming a wife and learning her daughter was pregnant in one day is a lot to process.”_ So Rory gave her mother space. However now, 36 hours later, that space was quickly feeling like a wall.

Rory arrived at the store and walked in. “Lane?” she cried, “Lane I’m here!”

  
“In the kitchen!’ Lane replied, “Can you please make sure the “Closed” sign is intact?” Rory examined the sign on the door:

 

_Closed from 11/09 - 11/15/2016._

_This was planned a year ago and has nothing to do with the election._

_Please check our website._

_Have a Blessed Day._

 

Rory made her way to the kitchen where she found Lane on her laptop pouring over images and excel spreadsheets. “Good morning friend!” Lane cheerily greeted.

“Good morning friend!” Rory greeted in return then whispered, “Are you parents really gone?”

“Yes, they called and confirmed their safe arrival in Asheville last night.”

 “Oh good,” Rory said, as she took a box of donuts out of her bag, “Chocolate covered custard with sprinkles, four of them in fact.”

 “Awww, you complete me.”

 The two friends sat down and dove into their donuts.

 “So, are Luke and Lorelai suffering from post-wedding let-down?”

“No, while they had fun, I think they're also glad it’s over. Although, now they have to contend with the “it’s about time” comments.”

“Yes, some of those stories at the reception got a bit uncomfortable.”

Rory laughed but then became distracted again, something that Lane saw right away. “Are you ok? You have that 'something is bothering me' look about you.” Lane inquired.

“I have some news,” Rory said.

“What?”

“I’m pregnant.”

Lane was stunned, “What?!? Oh my God, are you sure?”

“Let's see, I bought a 20 pack set of pregnancy tests at the dollar store; they are just as good as the expensive ones or so I read, btw. Used them all up within a week. So 20 positive pregnancy test over a seven-day period = yes, I am pregnant.”

“Ohhhhh” Lane exclaimed getting up to hug Rory, “Well tell me, how are feeling about this?”

“Mainly lost, confused, scared, stupid...”

“Stupid?”

“Yes, stupid! Lane! I am 33-years-old and Yale-educated, I’ve known where babies come from since I was 11 when my mom showed me a pirated version of _My Mom is Having Baby_. I know where to get birth control. I should not have let this happen."

“No one’s perfect, and well passion can make one sloppy. So, and I can’t believe I am having this totally Maury moment, but who’s the daddy?”

“Logan”

 “Oh, Rory...”

“I know.”

“Wait, I thought you guys ended it during the summer?”

“Well you know Logan, he can’t just leave well enough alone. He came here in mid-October, just after my birthday, and made one last grand gesture. An evening a carousing and fun that ended up with a night in a New Hampshire bed and breakfast.”

 “Is that where the money strewn around Doose’s came from?”

 “...and the golf balls scattered across town.”

 “Impressive.”

 “I thought that was it. We had said our official goodbye. And now this.”

Rory got out of her chair and paced the kitchen. “I can’t believe this is happening!! What was I thinking getting involved with him?! He is engaged to be married! You even warned me about him.”

“Yea, that relationship was not one of your finest moments.”

“And I didn’t listen. What the hell is wrong with me?”

“Rory, you would not have listened to anyone. You were clearly on a path and no one was going to tell you otherwise.”

“I’m so stupid.”

“You’re human!”

“I’m an idiot.”

“Hey! That is my best friend you are talking about, and I refuse to let you disparage her like that. So stop now.”

“Yes, mam.”

“Sit down and talk to me. You last saw Logan in mid-October so that puts you at how many weeks?”

“About four weeks.”

“I assume Lorelai knows?”

“Yes. “

“How’d she take it?”

“She said, ‘That’s wonderful!’

"Oh good!"

“No Lane, that’s all she’s said. Not a peep out of her since. I have done the impossible, I rendered Lorelai Gilmore speechless!”

“She’s processing. A lot of activity the last week.”

“I know.”

“I assume that Logan doesn’t know yet?”

“No, I haven’t told him yet, although I going to have to soon because the wedding is set for the first weekend in December.”

 “Winter Wedding, really?”

 “Christmas decorations I guess.” 

“Got it, they are pretty... So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. That’s one of the reasons why I haven’t told Logan because I do have options. One is running out quick, so I have to make a decision soon.”

“Yes, you do have options.”

“This changes everything. My life is a mess! Not only with my relationships but my career! I have no career. Groveling for assignments is not how I pictured my life at this point.”

“Whose life turned out the way they thought it would anyway? Name one person.”

“Gail McHenry. Remember she had a “plan”? She got married to that guy she met in college? They have kids and they are now living in Stamford.”

“You didn’t hear? Turns out that her husband has another family in New Jersey.”

“Oh”

“Paris! She set off to go to medical school, then she went to Law school, and now she has her own empire...”

“And she has two kids who, according to you, prefer their nanny and is going through a divorce.”

“My grandparents. They had a great life together.”

“Yes, except for that minor incident where their only daughter gets pregnant at 16. And your grandmother widowed at a still fairly young age, yes, that’s no problem at all.”

“So you are saying....”

“ ...that life pitches everyone curveballs! But that’s not a bad thing. Just means you have challenges. Keeps life interesting.”

Rory put her head down in frustration.

“Oh Lane, help me figure out what I should do. Should I go through with the pregnancy or not? Should I keep it if I do? Can I even do that if Logan is in the picture? What would you do?”

“Rory, you know I love you but I don’t think I am the best person to guide you through options.”

“Why?”

“Because I was raised Seventh Day Adventist? Remember I was the one who viscerally declared that I could not have sex before marriage? You think that idea was drilled into me, how do you think it would apply to unplanned pregnancies?”

“Oh...well...”

“No, no, let me clarify. I just know that, because I am me, I don’t feel like I can objectively advise you in the way you need to be. However, while I am biased, but I will support you in any decision you would make and absolutely not judge you.”

 “Thanks, Lane.”

 “This is definitely Lorelai territory.”

 “If only she’ll speak to me! Ok, so tell me? How is it for you really? Being a mom? I remember you were not so keen on it at the beginning, but you seemed fine with it once the boys were born.”

“To be honest, my emotions about family life are rather complex,” Lane replied.

“How so?”

“I mean, you know. You know my life, my history. I was this repressed kid, living a double life. When Zach and I got married it was the first time I felt totally free, I was so looking forward to discovering what free and unencumbered Lane was. But then I found out I was pregnant and threw a wrench into that situation.”

“So are you saying that you regret your life?”

“No, not at all.”

Lane went silent gathering her thoughts.

“I am finding that life is weird. There are days that I get soo frustrated with the direction my life has taken. I mean, I see you jetting off, seeing the world, doing all these interesting things, pursuing your dream, while I am still here in Stars Hollow, married to a man who has to wear a tie to work and just started Lipitor, raising two boys who are developing a liking for Christian Rock. This is not the rock “n” roll life I dreamed of. I have those days where I seriously question the choices I made. Why didn’t I just leave home and wait tables in New York? Why didn’t I follow Dave Rygalski to California? Why did I marry Zach in the first place? I mean I was so young! But then I sit back and think and ask would I trade what I have now for a different life? My answer is unequivocally no, every single time. You know those time travel stories, where the main character is dissatisfied so they go back in time to make a different decision, and then come back to find that life is not only different but messed up as hell? That’s the scenario that always brings me back to reality. I wouldn’t trade Zach and the boys for anything. Those choices are what got me here. You, my dear Rory, were set on a path that has simply made an unexpected turn. You can’t go back so you must do better moving forward. Easier said than done, I know.”

“Ok,” Rory said, fighting back the tears, “Thanks, Lane.”

  
Lane pulled a chair next to Rory and hugged her tightly, “Anytime, always.”

Rory wiped her face and took a deep breath, “I have to think about something else. Let’s do that inventory?”

“Sure, would you like something to drink?”

“Just water, I can get it.”

Rory got up for water, while Lane watched her with concern.


	5. Full Freaking Circle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lorelai and Emily have a moment. I added a bit more dialogue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So one of the things I am doing with this version is making conversations/moments with where Rory and Logan are not involved their own chapters. 
> 
> One of the hooks of GG for me was the Gilmore family dynamics, especially between the three Gilmore women. There is an adage that says the goal of a family should be that every generation does better than the one before. This is usually in reference to a family's economic standard, but what happens when you've reached the pinnacle of that goal? For Rory and Logan, I see it more about family relationships and how to improve on them. In this sense, Rory has an advantage over Logan. 
> 
> This and other chapters will be exploring how the Gilmore women are alike, how they are different, and how they hope to further the progress of their family dynamic.

**Full Freaking Circle**

 

_November 8, 2016_

_Stars Hollow_

_It was early mid-afternoon the day after the confrontation with Rory, Lorelai was cleaning her kitchen, meticulously scrubbing the grout on the kitchen counter with a toothbrush.   This was perhaps the first (and probably last) time she ever spent time cleaning anything so thoroughly in her kitchen. Her efforts are interrupted by the doorbell and an urgent knocking on the door. Lorelai walked over to find the silhouette of her mother standing on the other side. With a resigned sigh and a roll of the eyes, she opened the door, barely stepping aside as Emily barreled in with determination and without invitation._

_“I have to talk to you” Emily she said tersely as she walked past Lorelai._

_“Let me guess, Rory told you.” Replied Lorelai._

_“She did, and I cannot believe it.”_

_“I know, what was she thinking?”_

_“Her?!? I’m talking about YOU. I can’t believe you! Shutting out your daughter at her time of need. You should be ashamed Lorelai Gilmore, honestly!”_

_“Excuse me? Rory is single, and pregnant by a man who is engaged and ***I*** am the one who is in trouble? I cannot win?”_

_“Lorelai, when your child is in trouble and needs counsel, you sit there and talk to them and not shut them out. I can’t believe I have to remind you of that!”_

_“Listen to them? Give them counsel? Who ARE you, Dr. Phil? I seem to remember when I was in this situation there was no listening to me, but telling me what to do.”_

_“Yes, I was giving you counsel!”_

_“You were trying to control me!!”_

_“This is a completely different situation!”_

_“How?!?”_

_“I may have been mad at you Lorelai, but NEVER did I shut you out! You may not have liked my methods, but at least I was talking to you. I could have kicked you out of the house, I could have sent you away and not dealt with it, but your father and I didn’t because we loved you and had a responsibility to you as your parents. You were sixteen-years-old for God’s sake! We had to take charge. Rory is thirty-three!!! She is not a child living under your roof dependent on you for her basic care, but an adult who can make her own decisions. And she has to make decisions!_ S _hutting her out?_ N _ot talking to her? Tell me Lorelai, how do you feel about her making those decisions without your input, hmm? “_

_“Pretty damn crappy!”_

_“I should think so! She is confused and scared, and thanks to you and your attitude, now hurt and ashamed. I expected more from you. Your actions really surprise me.”_

_“Well, you’re not the only one.” Lorelai sat down. “You think I like feeling this way? You think I like the way I am reacting? I don’t, but I can’t stop myself. I worked so hard so that Rory doesn’t repeat my bizarre self-sabotaging patterns, and yet we are here! Full! Freaking! Circle!”_

_Emily sat down in the chair next to her. “Yes, I understand. I suspected as much, which is why I am here. You didn’t want Rory to repeat your mistakes, well I don’t want you to repeat mine.”_

_Lorelai looked at Emily dumbfounded._ My mother is admitting to a mistake _, Lorelai thought to herself,_ mark the date and time.

_“I have regrets Lorelai, deep regrets. After you took Rory and came to live here I couldn’t get out of bed for a month. In that time you know what I kept asking myself? What did I do? What did I do wrong? It’s awful to be rejected like that by your own child.”_

_“Oh mom, I’m sorry. I was young, angry and confused…”_

_“Yes, but I could have handled it better. It was my pride Lorelai, my damn pride and my anger at you for ruining “the plan”. Well you know where that line of thinking got me? Alienation from my daughter and itinerant and strained contact with my granddaughter. I missed so much Lorelai, your father and I missed so much. And now I see you repeating my mistakes. Say she decides to have this baby and raise it on her own. How would you feel about not being part of that? She won’t necessarily need you as this baby is half Huntzberger so her physical and financial needs are guaranteed. There will be no going to you for prep school tuition, no opportunity for you demand Friday night dinners.”_

_“Mom, I never knew you felt this way. You’ve never told me this before.”_

_“Well, you do now. Your father being gone has changed many things, including my perceptions of certain aspects of my life.” the teary-eyed Emily responded. “There are times Lorelai that you have to suck it up and put yourself aside for the greater good. This is one of those times. Can you do that Lorelai? Can you?”_


	6. Mothering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory and Lorelai talk out Rory's situation. Rory makes a decision about her pregnancy. Again, more dialogue was added.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the things that was not explored during AYITL was how Richard's death affected Rory. Yes, there was the walk through the Gilmore house at the end, but what how did she react in the days, weeks, and months after he died? How did that affect her perception of herself and her relationships? How did Logan fit into that emotional journey. This chapter touches on these questions.

**MOTHERING**

November 2016

Post-Wedding

Before and after conversations with Emily

Hartford and Stars Hollow

 

Rory was going crazy. It had been a week since she told Lorelai her news and since then not a peep out of her.   Rory would get up to find her mother already at work or would come home to either find her still at work or asleep. Whenever they were together, Luke was always there, and thus preoccupied with the new husband to get in a word. But Rory wasn’t going to have it anymore. There was processing and then there was avoidance, and Lorelai was defiantly avoiding. They could not go on like this, so Rory went to her.

It was the end of the day at the Dragonfly. Dinner was well underway and with the guests usually going off and do their own thing in the evening, Lorelai had no place to run. Rory arrived and found her mother in her office, doing nothing in particular. “Mom,” Rory said as she walked in the door, “are you ever going to talk to me?” Lorelai’s face washed over with a combination of resignation and dread. “Yes, but not here, let’s go home.”

The two made it home, walking in the door silently and carefully, slowly hanging their purses and jackets in the entrance and then sitting down in the living room. Lorelai spoke first. “I haven’t said anything to you because I don’t know what to say.”

“Ok” replied Rory, “how about let's just be honest. Raw emotion hit me with it.”

“But that’s the thing, the raw emotion is what is making me crazy.” After a minute or two of silence, Lorelai was finally able to form a thought. “ Raw emotion. Ok, I’m angry. I’m angry at you. And the fact that I am angry at you makes me angry at me for being angry at you.”

‘Yes, I can see”, responded Rory, “that’s some vicious cycle.”

“Who’s the father Rory? Is it Patrick?”

“Paul? No, it’s not Paul.” 

“Well, unless you found someone new, or hooked up with Wookie Guy again, there’s only one person I can guess.”

“Yes, it’s Logan.”

“Does he know?”

“No” 

“Is he still engaged?”

“Yes.”

Lorelai started to pace the room. “This was not supposed to happen!” Lorelei shouted to no one with a passion that felt like she had been keeping her emotions in for weeks. “ This! Was! Not! Suppose! To! Happen! You were not supposed to get pregnant like this! You were supposed to be together, and ready, and with a guy who was not engaged to someone else! Your life was supposed to be Christiane Amanpour, NOT Tori Spelling!”

“Well, your situation was not exactly the _Wonderful World of Disney_.”

“Yes Rory, but I was young, oppressed, angry, lonely, and confused. I made many many immature choices at that age, but I was 16 and have an excuse. You’re 33 Rory. 33 with much more life experience under your belt than I did at 16. I understand you are not perfect Rory, but I would like to think that you are a person who learns from her mistakes. We’ve been down this road before remember, with Dean? It may be understandable with it happening with Dean at age 19 but at 33?”

 “Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think I am kicking myself every day for the stupid choices I’ve been making lately? Do you think I _want_ to be in this situation?”

 As if she were thinking aloud Lorelai said, “This was not supposed to happen, you were supposed to have it better than me…”

 “So you’re mad because my situation does not fulfill the goals of your “Master Plan” for my life? Well, hello Emily?”

 “Don’t you bring my mother into this! This is a totally different situation! They tried to control me, I did everything I could to let you make your own way…”

 “…And this is how I pay you back, right? My situation nullifies all your hard work, right?”

 Again, awkward silence.

The alarm on Rory’s phone went off, which Rory silences. “ I was planning to go to Grandma’s tonight to help her inventory the house and to write. I think it’s best if we cool off. Talk tomorrow?”

“Yes” responded the deflated Lorelai    

With that Rory, turned and left the room leaving Lorelei angry, confused, and ashamed.

 

______________________________________________________________________________ 

The next morning Rory woke up to the sun shining in her eyes. Her room at the Gilmore house had been significantly stripped down from its glory days. Gone are the luxury ornate curtains, and carefully selected _t_ _chotchke_ that accented the room. Now it was just the basics; bed, dresser, nightstands, and a comfy chair, all items that would soon be gone once the new owners take possession. The Gilmore house has been sold, it was the end of an era.

Rory arrived at the house the previous evening to find her grandmother going over the final list of items to be sold. Sentimental items had been inventoried and stored weeks before (her mother’s china, selected painting and other art, the infamous gold leaf bar glasses, the chair she purchased as a new bride the week after she and Richard returned from their honeymoon...)   Then there were the items that were to be sold or given away (basically everything from Richard’s mother.) Rory claimed her grandfather’s desk and chair, his books and other collections, as well as other items from his study. Where she was going to put it she had no idea, but letting it go was not an option.

Rory departed her room and went to the kitchen to find that Berta had put out a spread for breakfast. Today Emily was staging a “preview sale”, a day dedicated to certain friends and associates so they could look and buy items from the house before they go to public auction. Rory’s goal today was to stay in the study, write and stay out of the way. She was in no mood to make polite talk with her grandmother’s crowd.

With her decaf coffee and bagel with schmear in hand, Rory set off to work only, she couldn’t. Pieces of the conversation with Lorelai from the night before played over and over in her head. Before she knew it two hours had passed and all Rory had to show for it was a blank page and an empty coffee cup. Rory got up to refresh her coffee finding a gaggle of her grandmother’s associates on her route to the kitchen.

 “Rory! So nice to see you! How are you?” Constance Betterman exclaimed.

“I’m doing well, so nice to see you, ladies,” Rory replied

“We miss you at the DAR meetings, you were always so much fun!”, one of the ladies whose name Rory could not remember for the life of her added.

“Well, it’s good to be missed.”

“It’s so sad that Emily has decided to move, so many memories in this house.”

 “Yes, it’s the end of an era. If you please excuse me, I am working in the study. I just need to refresh my coffee. You know, deadlines.”

 “Well of course dear!”

Rory took her leave to the kitchen. As she filled her cup, she could not help but overhear the conversation in the other room.

“Well isn’t this a find? You know who would love this? Shira Huntzberger. She’s been collecting for years.”

“How is she doing? Has she come out of her fog yet?” 

“No, no one has seen nor heard from her. The poor dear, she was very disappointed, heartbroken in fact. She was so looking forward to that wedding, I mean from all I heard about it was going to be spectacular, the event of the year! All that planning and effort, money, and for what? For them to cancel at the last minute?  What a waste.“

“Well, it’s better this way.   Bravo for saving themselves very messy and expensive divorce.”

“Still, it would have been a wonderful event. But to be honest, I didn’t think it would have worked anyway. I mean you know Logan’s reputation, he’s not the type to settle down.”

“I heard that she fell in love with her Tennis instructor and ran off with her.”

Rory mind went blank. The wedding was off, the engagement had ended, Logan was now free…

 

An hour later, Emily knocked on the door of the study to find Rory sitting quietly in the dark. “You know Rory,” Emily said after she chided her for sitting with the light off, “We still have electricity. We’re not out yet.”

“Sorry grandma, I have a lot on my mind and didn’t even notice.”

“You’ve been preoccupied since you got here. What’s going on?”

“It’s no big deal”

“Well, if it’s no big deal then you can tell me, right? I have problems believing that this is “no big deal” because a “no big deal” problem usually does not render a person into a zombie-like state. So tell me, what is going on?”

Rory could not hold it in any longer, “Grandma, I have something to tell you, please sit down.” 

The worried Emily immediately sat, “alright, I’m sitting.”

“Grandma, I’m pregnant.” 

“Oh,” Emily responded. In that instant, Emily begins to have an out of body experience. No longer is she there with Rory but transported back 33+ years ago sitting in this very spot, with Richard at her side, and the 4 months pregnant 16-year-old Lorelai sitting in front of her.

“I’m so sorry grandma. I know I am such as disappointment. I know I ruined everything.”

The words “ruined everything” knocked Emily back to the present. Emily looked at Rory and reminded herself that this was not her daughter, but her granddaughter. That this woman, this beautiful smart, and strong woman who she loved more than anything, was 33 and not 16.

“Rory, what was there to ruin?” Emily told her granddaughter assuringly. “Now, start from the beginning. Who is the father? Is it that boy, what’s his name, Pearson?”

“Paul grandma, and no it’s not him.” Rory took a deep breath, looked up at Emily and said, “It’s Logan. Logan Huntzberger.”

 Shock number two. “Logan?! How?! When?!”

For the next hour, Rory and Emily sat while Rory told her everything. She told Emily the story of how she and Logan reconnected, their ‘Vegas” arrangement, how that arrangement quickly fell apart. Rory also talked about her career, how her life seemed to be careening off a cliff, how confused she was.

“I miss Grandpa,” Rory said, “He was always a strong base for me. I was feeling off balance before he died, but since then I’ve been completely untethered.” 

“Yes, well death has the tendency to make bad things worse. So tell me, Rory, what are you going to do? What does your mother have to say about this?”

“Nothing”

“What do you mean nothing?”

“I told mom about a week ago, and she reacted by avoiding the subject. We finally talked about it yesterday before I came here, but let’s just say she is not taking it very well.”

“Really,” Emily stated soberly.

“Yes, she’s really mad and upset. I can’t talk to her about this.” 

Emily sat silently digesting Rory’s words.

“Grandma?”

“Oh, sorry, just thinking. You look tired.”

“It has been an emotional day, plus it’s hard to keep my eyes open these days,”

“Yes, first-trimester exhaustion. It’s been a while, but I do remember it.   Why don’t you go upstairs, get some rest? I have an errand to run, but I’ll see you for dinner.”

“Sure Grandma.”

“Ok.  And Rory, don’t worry. Everything will be alright.”

 

Hours later Rory woke up from her nap.  She made her way downstairs where she found Emily back from her errand, doing some last minute prepping for the auction.  After helping Emily and having an early dinner, Rory got ready to leave.

"Thank you, Grandma, for everything,"  Rory said as she hugged Emily goodbye.

"Of course, I will always be here for you.  Don't worry about your mother, she'll come around."

Rory gave Emily a defeated look, "I sure hope so."

______________________________________________________________________

Rory pulled up in the driveway of her childhood home to find  Lorelai sitting on the front steps. Lorelai got up as Rory parked the car, quickly walking towards her. Rory was barely out of the car before her mother took her and embraced her hard.

“I’m so sorry kid.”

“I’m sorry to mom”

The two were crying and then started to laugh because they are both crying. Together they walked arm and arm into the house where they sat in the kitchen, bringing out the pop tarts and leftovers and finally talked about their situation.

“…Logan and I ran into each other in a café in Hamburg about a year and a half ago. We ended up spending the day together. Nothing happened on that day, but nevertheless, we reconnected. Then about a month later I received word that I landed the article on Naomi Shropshire, which took me to London…”

“…And that’s when everything started again.” Lorelai finished.

“Initially I didn't see it that way. We got together, but he lived in London and I lived here. He was engaged and my life was in flux. I honestly didn’t think that I was ever going to see him again. To me that was closure. We decided that our time together was like being in Vegas, as is what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? But then things didn’t happen the way I thought they would. We got back in touch when grandpa died. Even though he wasn’t actually physically here, he was a great source of support and comfort for me….” 

“So that’s why you started making frequent trips to London. So it wasn't all work?”

“Oh no, it was. It was just, I had my choice of places to work, and London was the location of choice.”

“So what does this mean Rory? Are you in love with him? Isn’t he getting married soon?”

“Actually he’s not. I heard from Grandma’s friends that they called it off .” 

“Wow! Did they say why?”

“There’s a rumor about her running off with her tennis instructor, but nothing concrete. Anyway, I overheard this conversation, so I was in no position to ask for details.”

“So now that you know this news, what now? How do you feel about Logan?”

“I don’t know. I will always love and care about him. But that next step? Full commitment? It’s hard, especially now. I mean, if we were really meant to be together, why aren’t we? What was/is keeping us from making that step? He never indicated that he was unhappy with Odette…”

“Well, besides the affair…” interjected Lorelai

“Fair enough. How about he never gave any indication that he was willing to give her up?”

“Hmm, ok. But now he’s free.”

“Yes, but I don’t know how I feel. I was really dependent on him, mom. I mean really so.  He was like a drug, you know? There going were so many things going wrong in my life. My career was/is tanking, I was unstable, and then grandpa dying really threw me.   Being with Logan was like taking a hit. Who needs Heroin when you have Huntzberger, you know?   I can’t be in a relationship so imbalanced like that.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“I don’t know it depends…” 

“…on your decision about the pregnancy” Lorelai again finished, “so what are you thinking?”

“I don’t’ know.” Says Rory, “there are so many factors.”

“This is not a logical decision Rory, this is about your gut. What does your gut say?” 

‘I don’t know if I can trust my gut, I mean look where my gut has got me?”

“I disagree. From all you’ve told me, I don’t think you’ve been listening to your gut. I think despair and desperation have been drowning out your gut. So you need to step back and ask, what would Rory Gilmore, the clearheaded, forget about the rest of the world, trust your gut Rory Gilmore do?”

 __________________________________________________

 “Rory Gilmore? Please please come in. “ Rory and Lorelai followed the nurse into a procedure room. With Lorelai’s help, Rory changes into a gown and laid down on the exam bed. While the nurse took Rory’s vitals, another person in the background was fiddling around with instruments and machines.

"I appreciate you seeing me on such short notice,” she said to the other person in the room.

“Well, you’re lucky there was a cancellation today. Are you ready?”

“Yes,” Rory replied.

Lorelai took Rory’s hand, “It will be ok honey I promise.”

“Ok, I want to take a deep breath and exhale slowly. You will feel a little pressure.”

Rory closed her eyes, breathed in and exhaled. She jerked a bit feeling uncomfortable.”  She listened to the beeping sound of medical monitors.

“Ok, just a few more seconds, ok…there.”

“Wow! look at that” Lorelai said in awe.

Rory opened her eyes to the sound of a steady beat.  She looked over at the monitor showing the picture of a little pulsating speck.

“There’s your baby’s heart,” Dr. Miller, her OB, said, “healthy and strong. I assume you want a printed copy?”

“Yes”, the teary-eyed Rory replied, “Yes I do.”

 ___________________________________________________________________________________ 

Later that afternoon in their kitchen, Rory and Lorelai were admiring the ultrasound image.

 “Baby dot,” Rory said.

 “The cutest baby dot ever! And so intelligent!” Lorelai added.

“How do you know that?” 

“A grandmother knows!”

“So is the baby going to call you grandma?”

“No, I was thinking something more regal. Queen Lorelai? Czarina Lorelai? Lorelai the Great. There so much to choose from!”

“Luckily we have time.” 

“So…when are you going to tell him?” 

“Soon, luckily now that he’s not getting married I have a bit of time to work up the courage.” 

“Well, don’t wait too long.   How about telling him right now? Give me your phone!!”

“No mom, please let me do this on my own time.”

Mocking rolling her eyes, “Oh, ok” Lorelai said with an encouraging smile.

Just then Luke arrived home with bags in hand, visibly excited and nervous.

“So,” he asked, “how did it go?”

 Lorelai gave him the ultrasound picture, “It’s a dot!”

“A healthy dot! The heartbeat was strong,” added Rory

 “Good” Luke responded with relief. “Hungry? I brought burgers.” 

“What’s wrong with these burgers?” asked Lorelai.

‘What do you mean?” answered Luke

“They're wrapped in green stuff, where are the buns?”

“I wrapped them in Collard Greens, it's better for you. Folic Acid for the baby.” Luke informed Lorelai. 

“And what are these? BAKED fries? They’re not even fries!! They’re orange!”

“They’re sweet potato fries” They’re better for you!”

“Oh my God, and what’s this?” Lorelai asked as she opens a bag full of medicine bottles.

“Those are prenatal vitamins. I was at the store and I saw them. I thought Rory could use them. There were so many kinds, and I didn’t know what to get, so I bought all of them. I can take them back. I just thought it would be helpful, no big deal.”

Luke took the bag and walked out of the kitchen slightly embarrassed, leaving Rory and Lorelai giggling.


	7. The Dynastic Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another familiar chapter. Set up for Logan viewpoint.

**The Dynastic Plan**

_He went to California to start a new life. It was what he needed, to be somewhere where no one knew him. He left behind him a bevy of disappointments: bad business ventures, family strife, and broken promises of love. California was the place to get lost._

_And lost he got. For the next three years, it was nothing but work. 12-18 hour days in the office punctuated with excursions seeking California/West Coast adventures. Hiking and biking the mountains, surfing the ocean, weekend skiing trips to Canada, sojourns to the desert. All along he made good friends, excellent business contacts, and most importantly, he was able to find some solid footing again._

_The 2008 mortgage crisis hit the economy hard. Everyone was suffering, including the once untouchable Silicon Valley. He felt lucky finding a business venture that was a niche, rendering his work immune from the meltdown going on around him. E-books/e-readers were the “it” thing in the publishing world, and delivering the printed word in a new way was game to be played. Going into business with developers and engineers who had ideas on ways to build platforms that could deliver multimedia e-books to the masses seemed like fate, a venture he seemed to be preparing for from birth. Thanks to his ability to source revenue and charm the publishing world with their product’s potential, they soon became one of the most sought-after companies for acquisition. While many larger entities were interested, none was more interesting than The Huntzberger Media Group._

_He remembers the phone call. His father put on his usual bravado, that kind of tone and language that sounds like a compliment, but really is a put-down. Nevertheless, he arranged a meeting. Their people met his people. There were expensive dinner meetings and late nights smoking cigars and drinking very very expensive scotch, golf games, deep-sea fishing trips, and tickets to sporting events. Finally, an offer was made to which he formally (and with quiet glee) rejected. "Sorry Dad”, he said, “But Google just made a better offer.”_

_There was swearing, promises of revenge, humiliation, and questions of family loyalty. Then about a week later a phone call, congratulating him a job well done. “ You really stuck it to me didn’t you son.” His father declared with pride. All was forgiven. Business is business after all._

_With the thrill of victory and the hunger to do it again (not to mention a large payout that would keep a person of lesser means comfortable for the rest of his/her natural life), he sought out new adventures, and while there were many who would have been more than happy to have him to his surprise, the venture that made the most sense was the one waiting for him with his family's company back home._

_The return of the prodigal son meant settling back into familiar territory, London. The European division of The Huntzberger Group needed an infusion of new blood and Logan was ready for the challenge. He dove in headfirst. While the work was intense he was surprised at how much he enjoyed it._

_Yet, all the professional success was not enough, or at least that what others believed. Now that he was back and heading down the “correct path”, questions arose about his personal life. "Are you seeing anyone special?" His nosey relatives would ask at family gatherings. “When are you going to settle down?” others would ask. “I would like to see you with someone who will understand you and our family, like that Fallon girl.” His mother would say over and over again. Young, handsome, and wealthy made for a busy social calendar, and while he did not live like a monk, he had no_ desire _commit either._

_They met at Wimbledon the year Marion Bartoli won the Ladies Singles. She was the stepdaughter of this woman, who was a friend of some friend. They ended up talking after being forced to sit next to each other on a crowded car ride to dinner. He was initially impressed by her knowledge of the mechanics and nuances of Tennis, she was impressed that he wasn’t an arrogant ass like he initially came off. She had a wicked sense of humor; he had a sincerity that was genuine and heartfelt. They went on their first date a month after the tournament when he called on her while on business in Paris. Children of privilege (her father was a Swiss-French banker, while her mother came from old Parisian money) they found they had similar childhoods including the tendency to burn through au pairs and nannies and getting kicked out of prep schools._

_While their early years were similar, their post-secondary education lives couldn’t have been more different. He went to Yale, where partying was interrupted by the occasional paper and test, only to have him pulled into the family business where initially tried and failed to succeed. She, on the other hand, found a more subversive way to rebel. After completing Lycee and her parents’ messy divorce, she went to nursing school, eschewing high society life to work in a charity hospital and living off the salary that she made working rather than that of her large trust fund. In 2010 her work eventually led her to Haiti where she served as an aid worker following the earthquake. She returned home the following year to take care of her mother, who was diagnosed with Lymphoma and was there holding her mother’s hand when she succumbed to the disease two and a half years later. Attending Wimbledon was her first social activity after her losing her mother._

_She decided to take up her mother’s charity work, particularly with raising money for medical research. When they met she was in the throes of setting up her foundation. She exploded into the charity social scene and soon her calendar filled. He supported her work, escorting her to as many events as he could, participating in crazy fundraising stunts, lobbying for donations whenever possible. They discovered that they both liked adventure; rafting down fast rivers, skiing in uncharted territory, eating seemingly inedible exotic food when dared (and drunk.) They talked, laughed a lot, and developed a genuine affection, dare they thought, love for each other._

_A year into the relationship, questions started to arise. “So when are you two going to make it official?” ‘You know, she is a catch, you must let her get away”, “He is perfect for you, and you’re not getting any younger.” While his affection for her was genuine and sincere, there was a pang in his core that something was missing. He longed for that feeling, the sense of being home. He felt that way once, but she turned him down saying that she was not ready. He convinced himself that capturing that feeling again was unreasonable; emotions felt with one’s first love is always more intense than what follows because after all, it was the first._

_He believed he would find no one better than her. She realized she has never been in love before and is happy to have found it the first time around. He proposed to her on the balcony of his friend Colin’s Villa located on the cliffs of southern Italy the evening Serena Williams won the French Open. Upon hearing the news their parents rejoiced in excitement and relief._

_Plans began in earnest. They initially wanted to get married that December; Christmas season wedding because her mother loved Christmas. Yet, the small intimate Paris wedding they desired soon grew into an unruly social event thanks to his mother and her stepmother, who in her opinion, the most odious woman alive. Schedule conflicts, venue availability, and other matters pushed the wedding out to the following December, specifically, December 3, 2016.  Calls from organizers and maternal entities with requests to add to the guest list were made daily. Ideas for themes were floated and scrapped, and showdowns over flower arrangements and hor_ d’erves _selections became a weekly rite. Whenever ideas were challenged, parental, familial, and societal expectations and obligations were always there to counter, until at last, they lost control._

_Seeing as weddings were seen primarily as a “bridal” event, she bore the brunt of the planning. Because she abhorred certain kinds of attention, the event became a source of conflict. But she had no choice seeing that he was in London and she was Paris, where the event would take place. They agreed to pick their battles, promising each other that the “Dynastic Plan” as they privately began to refer to their wedding, would be the last. Individually they ask themselves as to what they look forward to the most, the wedding day itself, or the day after when it is over._

_Along with the event came the questions about married life; where would they live (NOT in the US.) How many kids to have (no more than 4), how to strike balance between their busy schedules. What would marriage and family life look like day to day? It was decided that they would start out in London, as business obligations were not as flexible, and that she would commute as needed. She determined that she would have her dealings at her Paris base wrapped up for her move to London in the Fall. Everything was falling into place. The future was set..._

_...and then he went to Hamburg._


	8. Closed Doors Open Windows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last Chapter till The Rory and Logan Reunion

**Closed Doors, Open Windows**

November 2016

London

After their talk, Logan and Odette’s immediately set out to officially begin their “uncoupling”.  Odette started out by informing the Claude, wedding coordinator, who because he always sided with Logan’s mother and her stepmother, was a person she grew to hate with a passion.  It took every ounce of her being not to be gleeful when she informed him that the wedding was canceled and that after he informed all the vendors, his services were no longer needed.  Next, they informed their immediate families, who received the news with mixed emotion.  As expected, both sets of parents were upset and angry, both demanding further explanation than, “it just wasn’t right.”  Both sets of parents implored them not to be hasty in their decision, citing cold feet, wedding jitters, and all other cliches associated with canceling a wedding.   

“Logan don’t be so hasty. You and Odette are perfect for each other. Perhaps maybe you can go to therapy.” suggested Logan‘s mother.

“Mom, there isn’t anything a counselor can do. We’ve made up our minds."  Logan replied.

“We’ve put so much time, energy, and money into this wedding….” Shira continued.

“Mother! It’s over, let it go and be thankful for wedding insurance.”

“You can tell me Logan”, Mitchum asked when Shira left the phone conversation, “is there someone else?”

Logan sighed, partially because he knew this line of questioning was coming and partially because the truth was complicated, “No, there is no one else. We realized that it wasn’t right. You should be happy that I am saving you from a potentially expensive divorce.”

Logan’s sister Honor received the news with a bit of relief, “Honestly Logan, as nice as she was, and as well as you got along, there was something not quite right about you two.”

“I guess your instincts were right,” Logan told his sister.

“Yes, but it is sad nonetheless.”

"There is more.  You have to promise to keep this to yourself."

"Ok, what is it."

"There's someone else."

"Really?  

"Odette has been having an affair for the last two months.  I caught them together; nothing too traumatic, just kissing the kitchen."

"That bitch."

"Hold on, before you make your judgments I have to confess, I have been seeing someone too."

Logan heard nothing but silence.

"Honor?"  Logan asked, "are you there?"

"I'm still here, I'm just in shock.  Despite my doubts, you seemed so into Odette. So who is this woman you found so irresistible?"

"Rory Gilmore."

More silence.

"Honor?"

"Oh! My! GOD! Logan!  What were you thinking?  That woman hung you out to dry!  You were so heartbroken when you broke up!"

"I know but..."

 "How long?"

"What?"

"How long have you been seeing each other?"

"For about a year."

"Oh dear God. How?"

"We reconnected by chance in Hamburg last June.  Nothing happened that day, but there was definitely still a spark between us.  We got together about a month later when she came to London for an assignment.  We thought it was just going to be a one-time thing.  But then I contacted her when her grandfather dies and well the rest is history."

Sighing in frustration Honor said, "I give you credit.  At least you had the intelligence to not marry Odette.  So what is Rory waiting in the wings?  Are you waiting the proper mourning period until you can make your debut as a couple?"

"Actually, we are no longer together anymore.  The last time I saw her was in mid-October."

"Logan, you're giving me a headache.  So what, you are now free and single aaannnddd..."

"...I'm going to try to win her back.  I love her Honor.  I want her back."

Again, Honor was silent.

"I'm still here, just processing.  I knew there was something about her.  Even Odette could not get that woman out of your system." Honor said.

"Yes, she is it for me."

"Well then go get her Logan..."

 

That evening, after dinner and a heartfelt goodbye, Logan moved to the Dorchester, where he stayed for the next two days before taking off to India for his next business trip.  During his time away, Odette packed up her belonging and moved back to Paris.  A week later, Logan came home to an Odette free flat (while the contents of the flat were not terribly depleted, her presence was noticeably gone.)  Logan wanted to call Rory right away and tell her about the change in his situation, to tell her how he felt and how he wanted her back in his life for good, but out of respect for Odette and also to protect Rory from any gossip or accusations, he decided to let matters regarding his botched engagement die down before contacting her. 

Somehow, Logan’s parents found out about Odette’s affair with Benoit, garnering from them some understanding and sympathy.  Logan used those emotions to his advantage, telling his father that he needed a clean start and that moving back home to the States was the best option for him.  Logan knew that his New York-based counterpart was looking to transfer to their China office in order to follow her husband who got a faculty position at the New York University Shanghai.   After agreeing, Logan worked with his dad to find his replacement in London. It was not very hard, as Logan’s number two was perfectly capable of taking over. Logan projected it would take about a month taking his return to The States around the middle of December. _Being back in The States permanently gives me better chances of winning Rory back_ , Logan surmised _._ He did it before and he could do it again, he told himself.  He was going to say and do all the things he should have the past two years, since that day in Hamburg. No more being scared, no more doubt. He was going for broke.


	9. Connections and Reconnections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory is presented with a promising opportunity. Rory and Logan are finally in the same room. Special appearance by Jess and Olivia.
> 
> Again, familiar territory for those who have read my other stories.

**Connections and Reconnections**

December 9, 2016

Philadelphia, PA

It was a clear and chilly December evening. The Christmas lights reflecting on the fresh blanket of snow gave the streets of Rittenhouse Square a warm and festive glow. Rory and Jess were walking briskly past the shops and restaurant, through the bustle of holiday revelers, on their way to a reception at Stotesbury Mansion. Rory’s invitation to this event came courtesy of her good friend from Yale, Olivia Anuwat. The reception was celebrating the publication of the book,  _Public Art of Philadelphia: A Retrospective_. Olivia not only was one of the featured artists in the book, but she also wrote the forward.

Rory received the hand addressed invite a month ago. Attached to the invite was a post-it that read:

_Scuttlebutt says that you are back in the States for an extended period of time,_

_therefore there is NO EXCUSE for your absence!! Looking forward to seeing you! Love -O_

With all that had been happening in her life the past couple of months, the invitation was a welcome site. _How nice it is_ , Rory thought during their brief walk, t _o be able to focus on something else for just one evening._

Since the event being held in Philadelphia, Rory called Jess to invite him to be her plus one and, much to her surprise, he accepted. “This is a good chance for you to network, plus I can give you the scoop on all the local literary bigwigs.” According to Jess, this was a “good” event; small enough not to attract the superstar riff-raft, yet significant enough that respected people would attend.

“Rooooory!” Olivia excitedly exclaimed as they entered the room. “It’s been forever!” Rory hugged Olivia and then introduced her to Jess, who hit it off immediately. Together Jess and Olivia gave Rory a detailed briefing of the night’s key players; who had a book deal in the works, whose work was being considered the next hot thing, who was discovered passed out drunk in the bargain section of the local used bookstore. Hor d'oeuvres and champagne are being passed and there was an open bar. It was indeed the festive evening that Rory needed. 

“Please eat, drink, and be merry” insisted Olivia, “I was on my way to the bar when you came in. Can I get you something?”

“Oh, maybe a cranberry and club soda?” requested Rory.

“Keeping your wits about you tonight?” Jess inquired. 

“Gotta stay sharp to keep up with the Literati.” She replied, looking the other way.

“So Rory,” Olivia asked when she returned with the drinks, “what are you up to these days? Any exciting assignments in the works?”

“Well as a matter a fact yes, I am writing a book.”

“Shut- up!” 

“Yes, it’s a memoir of sorts about my mother and me. Jess is helping me with the getting it ready to shop around.”

Raising her martini in tribute to them, “Impressive…so this is taking up a lot of your time or are pretty much done with the bulk of the writing?”

“It is occupying a lot of mental space, but I am still working. I am editing our local paper, working on some freelance articles, and am looking to pitch some ideas for other work.”

“…so long story short you have nothing too pressing on your professional calendar?”

“No,” Rory says feeling a bit embarrassed, “nothing too pressing.”

“Ok! Hold on.” Rory and Jess were taken aback as Olivia hurriedly whipped out her phone to send a text. Thirty seconds later she grabbed Rory’s hand asking, “May I please speak with you in private? Do you mind Jess?”

“Not at all.” A curious Jess replied.

Olivia took Rory and headed towards the back corner of the room where waiting for them was Olivia’s husband, Moses Nguyen. The last time she, Olivia, and Moses were able to spend any significant time together was during their friend Lucy’s wedding weekend five years ago. Moses was a noted designer and founder of  _MN Designs_  a very influential New York-based design firm where Olivia also served as a creative consultant.

After making their greetings, Olivia and Moses got down to business. Moses began the conversation, “We were commissioned to do a project that is due to launch in September of next year.” Moses explained, “It is a multimedia study on the intersection of politics and popular culture. We started this project a year and a half ago and, as you can imagine it has taken many twists and turns from our original ideas. It has been a very… _INtersting_  project.”

“Unfortunately,” Olivia continued, “ two days ago we suffered a major setback. A key member of our Content team had to go on leave because of some serious medical issues. It has put us in a bind because we have deadlines that are coming up and we need to fill the open position with someone who can just jump in and get in the mix right away…you know…someone who has journalistic and editing experience…someone who is familiar with the inner working of American political culture…someone who is not ashamed to say that they have missed appointments and family gatherings because she was binging episodes of Buffy…”

“Wait!” exclaimed Rory, “are you offering me a job?” 

“Well, you would have to meet with the team to see if it’s a good fit but if it worked out then yes, we would love for you to join us. If we went through traditional channels it would take us weeks, even months to find someone. It’s time we don’t have. We know your work, we know you. Please consider it?”

“Yes, of course!”

“We are convening a team meeting this coming Wednesday in New York. Can you make it then?”

“I will make the time.”

“Great! I’ll text you the details.” Olivia excitedly hugged Rory, who then left to tell Jess.

“That’s awesome!” Jess said when told the news,

“Well, I don’t want to get my hopes up too high” Rory interjected, “I might not fit the bill.”

“Oh, you’ll fit,” Jess replied proudly, “they would be lucky to have you. We must celebrate!”

Jess left Rory to get drinks so they could make a celebratory toast. In the meantime, Rory meandered her way to the nearest open table. Rory was so happy she bordered on giddy. Her first real professional connection in since the Naomi Shropshire fiasco; she felt good about this, really good as if she were meant to be at this exact place at this exact moment. _Kismet,_ she said to herself aloud.

It was at the exact moment that she saw him. Standing a few feet away engaged in a conversation with an older man in a suit, was Logan Huntzberger. 

_________________________________________________________________

Logan opened his eyes, letting out a relaxed deep breath as his plane safely landed at JFK airport. After five years he was finally back in The States, back home, and more importantly, back near Rory. Originally, Logan planned to go to Rory as soon as his plane landed, however that desire was quickly dashed by his work obligations. Huntzberger Media had recently invested in a small yet important publishing company in Philadelphia and their Board of Directors were not only meeting the next day, but they were also sponsoring a launch reception for their publication on public art that same evening.  As the assuming Managing Director of the North American publishing division, he was obliged to attend. The frustrated Logan relented; he would see Rory soon enough.  The next day Logan attended his meetings.  He did his best stay focused on the task at hand, shaking hands, participating in strategic discussions, putting on his serious face.  However,  in reality, all he could think about was seeing Rory and what he would say to her when they met.  By the time the book reception started that evening, he had grown a weary and a bit frustrated, deciding that he would give himself an hour, feign jet-lag, and make a quick getaway.  He was saying goodbye to one of the members of the board when to his great surprise, he saw Rory standing at a table a mere ten feet away. 

At first, he thought he was mistaken.   _Why would Rory be here of all places?_   Logan quickly erased that question from his mind.  It didn’t matter why she was here, it just mattered that she was here. 

__________________________________________________________________________

Rory was in a state of shock.  She had not seen Logan since they said goodbye in mid-October. Thanks to the gossip at floating around at her grandmother’s house, Rory learned that Logan and Odette ended their engagement. Reasons as to why are still unclear (“Of course, the boy is not the settling down type”, “I heard that she was really in love with her tennis instructor and ran off with her”) all she knew is that now he was single.

Rory was about to turn and walk away when Logan spotted her, “Rory!” he called. “Uh…hi” she greeted him uneasily when he arrived next to her. Logan gave her a polite but awkward kiss on the cheek.

“What are you doing here?” She nervously asked.

“HUntzberger Media is a minority partner in the company that published this book. Since I am now Managing Director of the North American Publishing Division, I needed to be here.”

“So…you're back and living here?”

“Well, not here specifically; New York actually. I arrived yesterday.”

“Oh…” Rory said with forced enthusiasm, “…welcome back!”

“So, I guess you heard about Odette and me?” he continued.

“Yes. I was at my grandmother’s a few weeks ago and some of her friends were there.  It was the talk of the gathering. “

“Yea. Well, it wasn’t right, it just wasn’t right.”  

Rory caught Logan’s gaze. He gave her a hopeful smile, which made her lose her footing. He caught her as she almost stumbled.

“Are you ok?”

“Wow, it just suddenly got really hot in here. Did they turn off the A/C? 

Looking at her quizzically, Logan replied, “It’s December...” He continued, “ Look, I’ve been wanting to call you, but I needed to settle things with Odette first. Can we talk please?”

“Well, I can’t right now.”

“O-kay then later? Tomorrow? You name the time and place I’ll be there. Come on Ace…please?”

“Umm, yea. You know what, I’ll call you. I have to go.”

Rory left quickly, meeting Jess who was on the way to the table. “Can we go now?” she pleaded.

“What wrong?” Jess worriedly asked.

“I just have to get out of here.” Rory took off towards the coat check. Jess quickly put down the drinks and, as he turned to follow her, spotted the crestfallen Logan watching Rory as she made her exit.

Jess found Rory down the street sitting on a bench visibly shaken.

“What’s going on??” The now very worried Jess implored. 

“Nothing…everything. Oh God, seeing him was the last thing I needed.”

“That’s that Logan guy, right? The guy you were seeing in at Yale?”

Rory nodded her head.

“What did he say to you? Was he harassing you?”

“No, no, he wasn’t. We were talking and he brought some things up.”

“What did he say that upset you so much?”

“It’s a bit complicated.”

“How so?”

After a silent moment, “Jesss?” Rory asked cautiously.

“Rooory?” Jess replied, mimicking her tone.

“I’m about 10 weeks pregnant.”

“What?!”

She turns and looked at him.

“I’m about 10! Weeks! Pregnant!”

“Wow, that’s…great? Congratulations?” Jess said, trying unsuccessfully to contain his shock,

“Yes, it is, and thank you.” She said disarmingly, “…Logan…”

“Is the father? I figured as much.” He interrupted, “How long were you together?”

“About a little over a year. We ended it in October. He doesn’t know yet.”

 Jess sat down next to Rory, dumbfounded, “Wow…”

“Well, this wasn’t exactly planned and it’s been such a shock and I was seeing someone else, and he was engaged…” 

“Wait he was engaged?!”

“They broke up…”…Rory said dismissively, “The last few weeks has been so crazy…My mom and I went through this thing when I told her…”, with every word Rory became more panicked, “…we’re ok now, then I had to deal with my grandma, and then I had to decide what to do, then I had to find a doctor…”

“Rory!” Jess implored as he put his hand on her shoulders and turned her towards him, “ Breath.”

Rory took a series of slow deep breath and calmed down.

“So?” asked Jess.

“So?” Rory replied.

“You’re going to be a mom. That’s incredible!”

“I’m going to be a mom.” She tearfully responded.

Jess smiled at her, gave her a kiss on the forehead, and put his arm around her. She laid her head on his shoulder.  As the snow began to fall, they sat in silence.

 

 

 

 


	10. Ignorance is Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan and Rory make plans to meet.  
> (Another reorganized chapter.)

**Ignorance is Bliss**

December 9 – 10, 2016

Philadephia and New York

Logan watched helplessly as Rory turned and quickly made her way to the coat check.  He felt even worse when he saw her stop and talk to a man who he recognized as her ex-boyfriend.  This man, after putting down their drinks and spotting Logan,  immediately went after her. 

On the way home that night, he obsessed over his encounter with Rory.  She didn’t seem happy to see him, in fact, she looked downright frightened.  What did he do to solicit such emotion?   As the night wore on, other thoughts invaded his head.  Why was Rory at the reception with her ex?  Were they back together?  These and other questions plagued Logan all night, so much so that he got very little sleep.  By morning he was on the verge of becoming a wreck.  He was about to call Rory when his phone rang.

“Hey there little brother, “ Honor greeted, “What’s wrong? You sound awful.”

Logan proceeded to tell his sister about the previous evening.  How he ran into Rory, how she practically ran out of the room when he approached her, and how she was there with her ex.

“Wow, crappy, crappy, evening.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Are you going to call her?”

“Yes, I was about to, but I don’t know.  I don’t want to overwhelm her.”

“True but…”

At that moment another call came into Logan’s phone; it was Rory.

“Honor, Rory is calling, I have to go.”

“Ok, call me back!”

Logan switched over.

“Rory, hello.” Logan greeted.

“Hi, I didn’t call too early did I?” Rory asked.

“No, no you didn’t.  So how are you?”

“Oh, I’m good.  I'm still in Philly, waiting for my train to go home.  Anyway, sorry about running off like that.  You really surprised me.  You were the last person I expected to see last night.”

“Well, you know I’m full of surprises.”

“Yyyea…um can we meet up?  We really need to talk.”

“Sure tonight? Tomorrow?”

“How about tomorrow?  Brunch maybe? We can meet half-way.”

“Are you sure? I can come to you, no problem.”

“No, half-way is better. “

“I think I know of a place.  Why don’t I make reservation and text you the details?”

“Great.  See you tomorrow.”

“Ok, then.”

Logan hung up the phone and immediately started researching restaurants, deciding on one he knew well not too far from Honor’s house in Darien.  He called to make a reservation, asking for a private room so that he and Rory could talk freely.  He texted Rory the details, setting the time for noon.  Rory’s call brought about much excitement and nervous energy, so much so that he decided to go running to keep himself from going crazy.  While on his run, he thought about all the possible scenarios that could happen from very worst  (her telling him that she hated him and never wanted to see him again) to the very best (them taking off to Vegas and getting married that afternoon.) 

After his run, he headed out to see Abraham, a long-time friend of the family and the owner of one of the best jewelry stores in New York.  The last time Logan was at his store had been about two years ago when he bought a ring for Odette.  He remembered while on that shopping expedition, he came across an Art Deco halo ring that was both elegant and quirky; it reminded him of Rory.  _Maybe seeing a ring that reminded you of your ex should have been your first clue_ , he thought to himself as he searched through Abraham's ring inventory.  After what seems like hours, Logan found the ring.  Abraham then took it, gave it a good cleaning, and returned it to Logan asking in a good-natured but concerned way, “Are you sure this one is going to stick?” 

“I sure hope so Abe.”

“Well, good luck Logan.”

He knew buying a ring was illogical, and that he was possibly setting himself up for emotional suicide, but he did it anyway.  After two years of not being deliberate about his relationships, he wanted to take a stand, even if in the end he (and Abraham) was the only one who knew about it.    All in all, he thought, his meeting with Rory could come down to three possible outcomes; they could break-up for good, they could start again slowly and see what happens, or they could make a full commitment.  Whatever happened Logan felt fully prepared for his meeting with Rory.

Little did Logan know there was a fourth outcome for which he did not anticipate.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	11. Lost in Translation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard Gilmore has died and Rory is grieving. How does Logan help her in this process? And what happens afterward?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter. Richard's death was described as having a significant impact on all three Gilmore women. While we saw that with Emily, and with Lorelai, I didn't have that same feeling with Rory. This chapter explores some aspect of this idea.
> 
> This chapter also shows how Rory and Logan's clandestine relationship developed. 
> 
> I realized after reading this chapter that aspects of it were heavily influenced by two other stories. 'Ode to the Avacado" by cuppacuppajoe and "Love Left a Permanent Mark" by englishpetal. Both stories can be found on FanFiction. If you haven't read them, check these two beautifully written stories.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

_**Lost in Translation** _

__

_September 2015_

_Hartford, CT and London_

 

_Pain. It was the most profound pain that she had ever experienced. Her grandfather, Richard Gilmore, her driving force, her rock, her inspiration, had died._

_The nightmare began while working on an assignment in St. Louis. After getting no answer after a number of calls, her mother texted her._

911 Grandpa had a heart attack. Not good. Come home.

_Rory grabbed the next flight home, where she basically lived in the hospital for the next week. She and Lorelai went into protective mode, making sure that all of Richards’s needs were met, dealing with the doctors, bribing the ICU staff, and reading him passages from his favorite books while playing his favorite music in the background on their phones.   When they weren’t with Richard, they were with Emily making sure she ate, rearranging her appointments, sitting with her while she dealt with the paperwork and other legal matters with the lawyers._

_No one could say that Richard was not a fighter.   He fought to stay alive harder than any of the Gilmore women had ever seen. He was angry; angry that his body was besting his will. How dare the universes mess with THE Richard Gilmore! He refused to consent to a DNR, telling all the nurses that he was intent on walking out of the hospital and never returning. There was still so much for him to do, so much for him to experience. He was not done with_ this _life._

_Yet, in the end, Richard’s fate was out of his hands. It was Rory who was with him when he died, sitting next to him taking a quick nap when the monitor started alarming. Despite their valiant efforts, the cardiac team could not bring him back; Richard Gilmore was no more. Sadly, her mother and grandmother were not there, having left to retrieve items from the house, arriving a mere 10 minutes after the fact. Rory stopped them at the ICU lounge, breaking the news to them as gently as she could. Despite all the talk to mentally prepare for the worst, Lorelai and Emily were devastated, breaking down right there in the lounge._

_The death of her grandfather was her most significant loss to date. Without him, she felt untethered and lost. Yet, she had to keep it together because her mother and grandmother were falling apart at the seams. She went into protective mode overdrive, making sure that Emily and Lorelai kept it together as they spent the following days making arrangements for Richard’s funeral, not allowing her own grief to overwhelm her._

____________________________________

_Upon hearing about her grandfather’s heart attack, Logan contacted Rory right away, leaving so many voicemails, text messages, and e-mails that it bordered on stalking.   Rory listened to and read every message. The fact that he cared so much touched her and brought tears to her eyes. In the weeks following their night in London, both Rory and Logan thought about each more than what was appropriate. They thought about each other when they woke up in the morning and were the last thought at night. If something funny or interesting happened during the day, Rory first instinct would be to call or text Logan. If there was an issue or something that he needed to talk through, Rory seemed to be Logan’s go-to person. But they resisted because contact such as that did not “keep things in Vegas.”_

_However, this time was different. Logan wanted to be there for Rory and Rory wanted him there._

_Factoring in the time difference, knowing that he would be awake and at work, Rory texted Logan, thanking him for his support. He called her back right away. What they thought would be a quick hello and thank you turned into a two-hour conversation. “Oh, the scene at the hospital yesterday!"  Rory recounted for Logan, "When I walked into his room grandpa was barking orders at the hospital staff, grandma was scolding grandpa to calm down, and mom was standing in the wings apologizing for her crazy parents.”_

_“So in other words, a very Gilmore kinda day,” Logan responded._

_“I guess so,” Rory said giggling and then catching her breath in grief._

_“He’ll be ok Rory. Richard is a fighter, just like his granddaughter.”_

_They continued to talk every day with Rory slipping away from her family around between 2-3pm every afternoon so she could catch Logan mid-evening London time. Each time the conversation would last for at least an hour. They talked about Richard’s progress, gossip about other patients, and the quirky members of the hospital staff. They also talked about their days, thinking out work issues, recalling funny or interesting things that they encountered, or updating each other on mutual friends and acquaintances._

_Then came the day when Rory did not call at their usual time. While Logan consciously tried to be optimistic, something in his gut told him that something had gone horribly wrong. He got the confirmation later that night via text._

I’m sorry I didn't call. Grandpa passed this afternoon.   Grandma and mom are a mess. I will call when I can.

_Logan instantly got online to find a flight back to the States to be with Rory but stopped himself just before he officially booked the ticket. As much as he wanted to be with her, to love, support, and comfort her in her time of need, he realized he really had no place there. As far as he knew no one knew about their reconnection. Then there was the fact that he lived an ocean away and was engaged to another woman; he knew that he would be more stress in an already difficult time. So he hung back and let her lead,_

I’m so sorry Rory. I’m here for you. Anything you need. Contact me when you can.

_______________________________

_For Rory, the days following Richard’s death were a complete blur. There were people to call, arrangements to be made, sad moments to work through. In the midst of the turmoil, Rory received a call from Naomi Shropshire. She was being featured in a small but well-read British publication. Naomi consented to the interview but on one condition, “I want you to write it.” She told Rory (apparently, Naomi was very impressed with her at their first meeting.) Incredibly flattered, Rory’s excitement was immediately dashed when she heard the additional stipulations, “They would like to meet with you in person, next Monday. 10 am sharp.” Richard’s funeral was scheduled for the Saturday prior and there was no way that Rory could make her way to London and prep with all that was happening. “I’m sorry Naomi, but I can’t make it. Can we perhaps Facetime or Skype this meeting?”_

_“Oh Rory, that’s so impersonal. Why? Is it the expense, because that will be covered.”_

_“No, it’s not the expense. My grandfather died two days ago and his funeral is scheduled for the Saturday before the meeting. With all that’s happening, I think I’ll have to pass…”_

_“Rory, ask to call her back.” Emily’s voice suddenly sounded from behind her making Rory jump._

_Rory turned around and saw Emily standing behind her. “Please Rory, before you make any commitments, ask to call her back.”_

_Rory did what she was told and then joined Emily in Richard’s study. For the past week, Emily existed in a virtual fog. However, hearing Rory turn down a potential job seemed to wake Emily up. “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation.   I think you should go.”_

_“Excuse me? Go where?”_

_“You should go to London and take that meeting. It’s a job Rory, it’s what you do. You should go.”_

_“But what about the funeral? What about you? No grandma, I need to be here.”_

_“The funeral is scheduled for 10 am. By the time the services are over it will be about 1 pm. Then there is the reception here. From what I remember, there are plenty of evening flights to London.”_

_“What about you and mom? There so much to do afterward with settling the estate to writing the thank you notes…”_

_“We will be fine Rory. You are here and will be here for the important part. After the funeral, it's just formality. You should not put your life on hold in the name of formality.   I don't want you to and your Grandfather certainly wouldn’t want you to either. Don’t worry, your mother and I will have everything under control.”_

_With that Rory called Naomi back to make the arrangements._

____________________________________________

_“I’m coming back to London,” Rory told Logan tentatively when she finally had a chance to call him back. It was the day before the funeral and there was still so much to do, but Rory wanted, dare she thought needed, to talk to Logan. She sent him a quick text and he replied stating that he was available to call him at any time. It was not until 9 pm London time, the day before the funeral, that Rory was able to reach him. He answered after the first ring, “Hey, how’s it going?” he greeted her. “It’s going” she replied, “thank you for the beautiful flowers.”_

_“Hey, it’s the least I could do. I wish I could do more.”_

_“I know and thank you.”_

_They switched their conversation from the phone to Facetime, where they settled for the next three hours. They talked about Richard, how the Gilmores were coping, their weird relatives that were coming out of the woodwork, and the other matters that go with the death of a loved one. He helped her revise and rehearse her eulogy and provided comfort every time she started to cry. Logan caught up Rory on the week at work, projects that were coming down the pipeline, his upcoming travel schedule. She told him about Naomi and her upcoming trip to London._

_“When are you arriving?”_

_“About 8 am. I have an hour layover in Dublin.”_

_“Oh, not enough time to stalk Bono. Too bad”_

_“Yea, maybe next time.”_

_The funeral went as well as expected. Everything went off like clockwork, just as Emily Gilmore had arranged. Despite the tears, Rory delivered her heartfelt eulogy that touched both Emily, Lorelai, and even had Luke shedding a tear or two. During the reception at the Gilmore house, Rory could not help but follow her Grandmother around._

_“I’m alright Rory.” Emily implored._

_“I know,” Rory replied as she continued to follow her._

_Fours hours later and it was time to go. Rory said her goodbyes to Emily, Lorelai, and other guests and Luke took her to the airport. Once she was on the plane and settled in her seat she began to feel the effects of the week settle in. The combination of exhaustion and 5mg of melatonin took over helping her succumb to some much-needed sleep, which was interrupted only as they prepared to land in Dublin. While she waited for her connecting flight to London, she began to think about the week ahead, specifically about Logan. The fact that he had been such a Godsend through this ordeal only added to her confusion about how she felt about him. Was it need in a time of grief or something more? Would she even see him at all this time? They didn’t make plans and he was, after all, still engaged. She had no right to assume that one night of passion promised another. Thoughts of Logan continued to fill her mind during her short trip to London._ Perhaps I will call him and take him out for a thank you dinner, no lunch. Lunch is safer… _she thought as she collected her suitcase at baggage claim at Heathrow._

_However, any questions she had about Logan during this trip were settled the moment she walked into the arrivals terminal._

_Standing there holding a sign stating “Ace” was Logan._

_She slowly walked up to him, dropped her bags, threw her arms around his neck, and burst into tears._

_“I’m so glad you’re here.” She said between sobs._

_“There is no place I’d rather be.” He replied._

_Logan held her tight, only letting go when he felt her loosen her grip. He looked at her, kissed her on the forehead and wiped away her tears with a handkerchief. He then took her bags, and with his free arm wrapped around her, led her to the waiting car that would take them back to his place where he took care of her as only he could._

_________________________________

_Despite her grief over her grandfather, Rory's week in London was short of perfect. The meeting with Naomi and the magazine went well and Rory landed the job. While the publication that was featuring the article was not as prestigious and well known as The New Yorker, it was nevertheless a writing job, exposure, and money. Rory found her days being taken up by Naomi, where she followed her around, met her associates in her various professional circles, and peppered her with questions that helped give her insight to both the London and Talk of the Town articles. Rory had to admit to that being with Naomi was a nice distraction and somewhat refreshing and fun. She admired Naomi’s strength, bravery, intelligence, dry wit, and devil may care attitude. It was attitude, a force that Rory wished she had more of and tried very hard to soak in._

_While Naomi matters filled in her days, her evenings and nights were spent holed up in the flat with Logan. He would come home around 6 pm where they would order take out or he would whip up a quick supper. After dinner, they spent the evening curled up on the couch watching TV or movies or reading and quietly basking in each other’s presence. At night they made love and slept peacefully and soundly wrapped around each other. How weird Rory thought on the third night as she laid in Logan’s firm embrace, that in the midst of one of her greatest losses, she felt so…happy. Happy to be with Logan. Could there be more than just “Vegas” between them? Rory spent the next two days mulling over the question, finally on the last day before her flight home resolving to talk to Logan about it._

_Little did Rory know that Logan too was riddled with the same questions. It was not until three days after Rory’s arrival did Logan come to a stunning realization; other than the compulsory conversations they would have during the evening before him leaving the office, he had hardly thought of Odette. Having Rory waiting for him at his flat, Logan the first time in a while he finally felt like he was home. In the last eight or so year Logan worked really hard to forget Rory, only having his hard work blown to bits in Hamburg. He remembered that first week after Hamburg when he was filled with doubt over his engagement and his feelings about Rory. He chalked it up to cold feet (after all, that happens to everyone.) Then there was the night in London and the “Vegas” agreement.   While he was reluctant to enter into the agreement, he realized soon after Rory proposed the idea that giving up his present state for a relationship that was tenuous at best was stupid. In this case, he chalked up their night together as to “unfinished business” and “closure” after a heartbreaking break-up._

_Now it was different. He loved her, he knew it, and he was sure she loved him too._

_________________________________

_On the last day in London Rory found herself alone in Logan’s flat. She spent the day researching and writing her Naomi article, setting up pitch meetings, doing everything she could to quell her nervous energy as she resolved to talk to Logan about her feelings and their relationship that night._

_Sitting at Logan’s desk, she wrote in her journal, rehearsing what she would say to him, reviewing her “Logan?” pro/con list. Then, her pencil broke and it was while she searching through his desk for another one, that’s when she found them; tucked away for safe keeping and away from Rory, pictures of Odette. Rory could not help but take them out and stare at them. They were just three small pictures, held in simple yet elegant frames. There was a candid picture of them with a group of people (Honor, Josh, Colin, Finn, and Robert among them) obviously a bit drunk but having a great time. A more formal picture of the two of them all dressed up at some event, and then another of her, informal smiling happily at the person taking the picture (obviously Logan.) Turning away from the photos Rory turned on her laptop and immediately plunged down the Odette Google rabbit hole, spending the afternoon reading as much as she could. Rory learned how Odette eschewed society life to become a nurse and work in a charity hospital. How she did relief work in Haiti. She read her mother’s obituary and countless other articles about her charity work. By the time she emerged Rory had convinced herself that Logan was engaged to Princess Diana incarnate. And then there was Rory, who after eight-plus years of working her tail off, was nowhere close to achieving her dream of being a world-class journalist. Worse yet, she wasn’t even sure if journalism was what she wanted. It was her against this other woman, this beautiful self-assured woman, and younger to boot, set on the path to help save the world. No wonder Logan fell in love with her, no wonder he asked her to marry him. She was beautiful, cultured, and had a purpose. While Rory was mourning, directionless, and insecure. How could Logan really love her? Worse yet, was she really sure that what she felt was love or was it neediness?_

_In the end, it was a question that she felt needed to answer for herself, and it was best to try to do that away from Logan. He arrived home that evening to find her packed and ready to leave._

_“What’s going on?” He asked trying to mask his hurt and surprise._

_“My flight is really early tomorrow and well I felt it would probably be better for me to stay at a hotel near the airport then to wake you up so early in the morning. You’ve gone above and beyond already.”_

_“Hey,” he said putting his hands on her arms so he would look straight at her, “this was no trouble at all. I wanted to be here for you.”_

_“And you were.” She paused warming up her cold tone, “and I am so grateful, really I am. You have been my rock these past two weeks. I will never ever be able to thank you enough. But we’ve been living in a bubble. Real life is out there, and we have to get to it.”_

_“But…”_

_“Remember,” Rory said steeling herself, “Vegas.”_

_With that Logan felt deflated._

_“Yes,” He answered hiding his hurt, “Vegas”._

_“I have to go.”_

_“At least let me buy you a good by dinner?”_

_“Ok. How about the pub down the street? I am craving mushy peas.”_

_“Ok, just let me get changed.”_

_“Ok.”_

_After dinner, Logan dropped off Rory at her hotel, where she immediately went to her room and broke into tears. Meanwhile once out of sight, Logan pulled over to another parking lots where he sat for an hour also in tears trying hard to get himself together._

This is never going to happen...  _they both thought to themselves as they laid alone in their respective beds that night ..._ just let it go and move on.

_But they couldn’t let it go. In the following year, thanks to business trips and other excuses, they continued to see each other, rationalizing their time together under the guise of “Vegas”; living double lives, waiting for the other to make the first move._


	12. Brunch of Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory tells Logan the news. Logan reacts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a merged chapter from the two original stories. I like to call this the first of my "Rory and Logan Fighting" series. After a year or so of dancing around their issues, Logan and Rory have their first real honest conversation. They're yelling at each other, but at least they're talking.
> 
> I admit, Rory and Logan fighting is fun to write

**Brunch of Revelations**

 

December 2016

Darien and Stars Hollow, CT

 

The morning after running into Logan in Philadelphia, Rory called him to arrange a meeting. _It's time_ , she thought, _in fact way-way overdue._ He made himself available for the following day, picking a restaurant between New York and Stars Hallow. “Are you sure? I can come to you, no problem,” he offered. “No, half-way is better,” she assured him; she needed to be in neutral territory.

Rory arrived to find Logan sitting at the bar, on his phone scrolling through his e-mails. “There she is…Hi.” Logan greeted, sighing in relief and with a smile.

“Hi” she replied nervously.

“Thanks for meeting with me.”

“Thanks for wanting to be met.”

Logan and Rory were led to a private room at the back of the restaurant. There they found a table for two, set with the usual accouterments and a small vase of flowers. Rory ordered a Pellegrino, while Logan a Mimosa. They looked through the menu and chit chatted about the food selection until the waitress returned with their drinks. Once the waitress left, Logan broke the ice. “So I hope you don’t mind that I got us a private room. I just didn’t want anyone privy to our conversation,” he said.

“No,” Rory said reassuringly, “not at all, privacy is nice.”

“Sooo…how are you?”

“I’m fine. I’m good. Busy you know. I got some freelance work I am working on, oh and I may have a job. You remember Olivia from Yale? She was one of the featured artists Friday evening? Her husband is the Principle at a design firm. They are working on a project and we are exploring the possibility of me joining them.”

“That’s great!”

“Yes, it is! I’m meeting with their team this week to see if it’s a good fit.”

“I’m sure it will go well Ace. You fit in anywhere! And the book? Is that still happening?”

“Yes, I’ve written about seven chapters, about a quarter way through eight.”

“Where are you writing?”

“Well, I started at my grandparent’s house, specifically in grandpa’s study. But the house has been sold and they are closing in January so I am searching for a new place.”

“Well, you know the offer for the Maine house still stands.”

“I know, and again thank you, but it’s far away, and plus it just not the right place for me.”

“I understand.”

An awkward silence fell between them.

“So you and Odette?” Rory started again in a serious tone.

“Me and Odette…” Logan replied.

“Does she know about us?

“Yes, I told her.”

“And that’s why you decided to break up?” Rory asked with a bit of panic.

“Well…no,” replied Logan matter-a-factly, “Walking in on her and one her colleagues kissing in our kitchen was the starting point.”

“Oh, Logan."

“According to her, she met him about six months ago and it was instant. They were together for a few months, but then she broke off the relationship before she moved to London. He showed up and asked her to come back, and well,” he said with a semi-comically resigned look on his face, “she did.”

“I’m sorry Logan”

“Look,” he continued waving off her sympathy, “it really is alright. She’s not a monster. Admitting to ourselves and each other that fulfilling the “dynastic plan” was not the way we wanted to live was the best outcome for us. She was a little hurt but not fully surprised when I told her about you and me.” Looking at Rory meaningfully Logan added, “It was the right thing to happen. Better now than 10-years down the line when we’re bitter and fighting over the kids and the wagon wheel coffee table. We both still love and respect each other very much, but in the end, it wasn’t right.”

More silence.

“Ace?” this time Logan breaking the silence, “Something’s going on in that head of yours?”

At this point, Rory’s frustration was evident, “It’s just so…”

Logan interrupted, “I’m just going to come out and say it. You inhabit my every thought. It takes so much energy just for me to function on a basic level since we last saw each other. Leaving you that morning absolutely gutted me. Even if Odette chose to go through with the wedding, I wouldn’t have.” Taking Rory’s hand in his, “You are for me Rory, you are it for me.”

Pulling her hands away, Rory pleaded, “Logan, stop.”

“I know the last year or so was not the best reflection of us. Regardless of what how Odette and I really felt about each other, lying and cheating on her was wrong, I know that. But I couldn’t help it because I love you. Please tell me you feel the same?”

“If you felt this way then why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because you rejected me before remember? Up until this past October, that day you turned down my marriage proposal was the worse day of my life! And remember, the Vegas agreement was your idea! I wanted to be with you so badly, so I held on to what I could.”

“So, I tell you I feel the same, then what?”

“Then we can finally be together. It’s meant to be Ace. We are meant to be!”

“Actually, our situation is a bit more complicated…”

“How? Either you love me or you don’t. Either you want to be with me or you don’t. Just tell me please, put me out of my misery.”

Rory became teary-eyed.

“Ace?”

“I’m pregnant Logan.”

Logan was stricken.

“Going on 10 weeks.”

Logan did the math in his head.

“And there’s been no one else?”

“No.”

“So that means?”

“Yes.”

Logan’s stricken look dissolved into a big smile. He got out of his seat and walked to Rory, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head, making Rory feel very uncomfortable.

“Ace! “ Logan exclaimed, crouching down next to Rory, “We’re going to be parents!”

“Yes, that we will be,” Rory confirmed uneasily.

“How are you feeling? Have you been to the doctor yet?”

“Logan…”

Getting up to sit back down in his chair, Logan brainstormed, “There’s so much to do, like where are we going to live? I haven’t gotten a permanent place in the city yet, so we can…”

“LOGAN! Slowdown!”

“Yes, sorry.”

“Obviously, you’re not upset.”

“Why should I be upset? This seals it, this seals us.”

“I don’t know.”

Logan’s demeanor changed, “What do you mean, “I don’t know”?

“Meaning I don’t know. Logan! I am single, pregnant, alone…”

“…you’re not alone…” he firmly interjected.

“I have no permanent home, no permanent job. I am pregnant with a child by a man with whom I had an illicit affair while he was engaged and I was seeing someone else! I mean who does that? I’m a walking telenovela!”

“Ace…”

“All I need now is my crazy long lost twin to appear declaring that she’s the one who is really pregnant and I just dreamed it all.”

“Will this twin write pro/con lists?”

“Do NOT mock me, Logan!”

“Sorry, but the telenovela comparison is begging to be mocked.”

Rory started to cry.

“Ace…” Logan began apologetically.

“Logan, the past five years have been hard, really hard. Where I am now is not where I thought I would be when I graduated from Yale. Working on the Obama Campaign was great, but then the recession hit, journalism changed, and well, I feel like I have spent the last five years floundering and untethered. Every time I felt that I was getting somewhere, I got knocked back. And then we ran into each other in Hamburg…”

“Yes, you were wearing your lucky dress.”

“It was so good to see you. That day we spent wandering around Hamburg, talking and catching up…it was the first time in a long time that I felt happy and …safe. I had absolutely no intention of starting anything Logan, not one, especially after you told me about Odette. But then we saw each other again in London and grandpa dying…” Rory hung her head in shame.

“Yes, I never forget that first night in London, Despite the circumstances, It was probably the happiest I felt in a long, long time“

I felt happy too, but I also felt unstable because I was still so unsure about my life. I worked so hard to reach this goal and it was all falling apart. Then you appeared and were so loving and safe, and I was seeing someone, and you were engaged…”

“…and thus the “Vegas” rule.”

“Yes, thus the Vegas rule.”

Awkward Silence

“So now what? You go on, have the baby and I get Christmas card with a picture once a year? Are you even happy about this? Are you considering not going through with the pregnancy?”

“Yes, Logan, I am happy about this and yes, I am planning on continuing the pregnancy, and parenting, and everything that comes with it. I am absolutely sure about that. What I am not sure right now is me. I can’t go on living as recklessly as I have the past five years. What I need to do now is settle, regroup, stop chasing, and find a real direction. I need to figure out certain aspects of my life on my own.”

“And that includes how I fit into your life.”

“Yes…and no. I never for once thought you would not be involved in some way; I know that you would never shirk your responsibility. However, I think you and I getting back together is not a good idea."

More silence.

Rory continued, "I know this is huge, and you have a lot to process so I should go. I’ll call you tomorrow?”

“Yes, call me tomorrow”, answered Logan, somewhat detached and looking at no one in particular.

“Ok,” said Rory as she stood up from her chair and gathered her belongings. Rory took an envelope from her bag and handed it to Logan, “Here, it’s a copy of the ultrasound image from my first appointment. The heartbeat was strong and healthy.”

Rory gave Logan’s shoulder a squeeze, and exited the room, leaving Logan sitting there staring at the envelope.

______________________________________________

12:37 pm. Logan contemplated the time as it flashed on his phone. Thirty-seven minutes. Thirty-seven minutes ago, he thought he what he was up against. Thirty-seven minutes ago he had a plan on how he would handle the outcome of his meeting with Rory. Thirty-seven minutes ago he was in control.

Thirty-seven minutes ago, Rory had arrived at the restaurant for their meeting.

Fifteen minutes ago all those notions, almost everything that Logan came to believe about himself and his relationship with Rory, exploded in the worst way. Logan had just laid his feelings on the table, confessing to Rory everything he was afraid to say for the past year.

_I’m just going to come out and say it. You inhabit my every thought. It takes so much energy just for me to function on a basic level since we last saw each other. Leaving you that morning absolutely gutted me. Even if Odette chose to go through with the wedding, I wouldn’t have. You are for me Rory, you are it for me._

_Logan thought he was prepared for anything, he thought that he could handle whatever would come. He was wrong._

_“I’m pregnant Logan. Going on 10 weeks.”_

_“And there’s been no one else?”_

_“No.”_

_“So that means?”_

_“Yes.”_

For some men, this would be an occasion to bolt. But not for Logan, once the news sank in his reaction was not fear, but joy, absolute joy.

Unfortunately, Rory did not share the sentiment.

Three words. The world as he knew it came crashing down with three words, “I don’t know.”

 _I have no permanent home, no permanent job. I am pregnant with a child by a man with whom I had an illicit affair while he was engaged and I was seeing someone else! I mean who does that? I’m a walking telenovela!...I never for once thought you would not be involved. I know that you would never shirk your responsibility. The degree to which you want to be involved is up to you. However, I think you and I getting back together is not a good idea_.

In the end, she got up, handed him an envelope and walked out, leaving him in utter shock and confusion.

Logan was brought back to reality by the waitress, “Sir? Is everything all right? Can I get you something?”

“Oh, no. I apologize. I’ll just take the check.”

Paying out the check, Logan went to his car. He sat in the driver's seat and rested his head on the steering wheel trying to work through the sudden surge of emotional pain coursing through his body. He picked up his phone and made a call, sighing in frustration when it went to voicemail, “Hi it’s Logan,” he said, “I need to talk to you. Please call me when you get this message.” Logan hung up and contemplated what to do next. Then he spotted his gym bag in the back seat.

Forty-five minutes later, he was in one of the indoor tennis courts of his parent’s club. The advantage of having the name, he could get into the club without any question. He spent the next hour or so hitting tennis balls, trying to vent out as much frustration as possible. His activity was interrupted by a call, “Hi”, he immediately answered, “Can I come over?”

A half hour later, he was parked in Honor’s driveway. His sister, hearing his car drive up, was standing outside waiting to meet him. His call made her worried, but the grave look on his face made her downright scared. They walked towards the house, past Josh and the kids playing in the backyard, through the kitchen door and then headed straight for the study. Logan sat down on the sofa, holding his head in his hand. Honor handed him a glass of water and sat down next to him.

"What the hell is going on?” she asked worriedly.

“She’s pregnant”, Logan blurted out.

Honor was stunned. She looked at her brother carefully and asked, “Who’s pregnant?”

“Rory.”

Honor exhaled, “Oh, thank God…”

Logan shot his sister an annoyed and curious look, “What?”

“For a minute I thought you meant Odette. I was picturing a Bridget-Tom-Giselle 2.0.”

“No, it’s Rory.”

“Annnd?”

“And what?”

“And how are you involved in this!?!”

“I am the father.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Rory said that she has not been with anyone else. She would not lie, so yes I am sure.”

“And you are upset because…”

“She doesn’t want to be with me. She has made the decision to continue the pregnancy, to parent and everything. She said she is open for me to be involved, but she just doesn’t know how I will fit into ‘her’ life.”

“Oh, Logan…”

“What the hell is happening?”

"What do you want to happen, Logan?"

"I don’t know, I don’t know anymore."

Honor looked at her brother. He looked worn out as if he had not slept in days. "Logan, have you eaten anything today?"

Logan shook his head no.

“You know what? “ she declared, “You are in no condition to talk. Take some time to process. Why don’t you have something to eat, take a shower, and then we will talk. Ok?”

Logan nodded his head.

Honor was right. After a full meal, a hot shower, and an afternoon nap for good measure, Logan felt more clear headed. The reality of the day's revelation finally wrapped itself around his brain; he was going to be a father. He recalled the several conversations he and Odette had about starting a family. Having been raised primarily by nannies, she and Logan agreed that it would be different with them. They wanted to be more involved, more hands on. While the situation changed, Logan still felt the same, but with Rory and the state of their relationship what would that mean? What would that look like?

Logan was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking tea and thinking when Honor approached him, "Ready to talk more?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"What a day..."

"Tell me about it."

"Ok, can you please tell me the whole story?"

"Well, I told you that Rory and I had been involved for almost a year. When Odette moved in this past August, we ended the relationship. Well, she ended the relationship, I was not quite done. After about 6 weeks of brooding and obsessing I went to see her for closure, and that’s when it happened."

"And when was this?"

"This past October."

"October? So that puts her at about eight weeks?"

"Ten."

"Ten Weeks? Wow! And she just found out after ten weeks or is she just telling you now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Ten weeks is a long time to wait, Logan, I mean she is just short of going into the next trimester. Also, you were supposed to be married about two weeks ago. Why would she wait so long to tell you? It would be understandable if she just found out, but speaking from experience, unless there is something going on biologically, you pretty much know two weeks after the fact.”

Logan sat for a minute. Yes, he thought, why did she wait?

Logan stood up and headed for the door. As he was putting on his coat and checking his pockets for his keys and phone he told his sister, ‘There is something I have to do, I’ll be back. Don’t wait up.”

A little over an hour later, Logan found himself driving through the Stars Hollow town square. He had gone to the house but no one was home. Turning the corner he saw the lights on in Luke’s diner, with Luke, Lorelai, and Rory inside looking like they were cleaning up for the day. Logan parked and tried his best to calm down. He knew he could not walk in with guns blazing, but the more he thought about it, the harder it was to contain his anger. He got out of the car and walked to the diner. Seeing that the door was locked, he started banging on the door.

 

______________________________________________________________

Rory and Lorelai were helping Luke close up for the evening. “Oh, Mom” Rory recounted as she filled up salt shakers, “You should have seen the look on his face…”

“…when he realized that you were not going to pick up where you left off?” Lorelai finished.

“It was awful.” Rory lamented.

“So, what did he say about the baby?”

“He was excited when he thought that it meant that we would get back together, now I don’t know. I said I would call…”

Suddenly they heard a banging, they looked and saw Logan standing at the door.

Luke appeared from the kitchen concerned and ready for a fight “What the hell…”

“Rory!” Logan yelled from behind the locked door, “Let me in, I need to talk to you.”

Rory opened the door, and Logan burst in.

“When did you find out?” He angrily asked.

“What?” Rory replied confused.

“When did you find out you were pregnant?”

“Late October.”

“So, late October, and I am only finding out about this TODAY?!?!”

“I was dealing with a lot…”

"When were you planning to tell me, Rory? Or were you ever going to tell me?????”

Clearly offended, Rory answered, “Of course I was going to tell you!”

“So when Rory? WHEN? I was engaged Rory, on the verge of getting married. If I hadn’t walked in on Odette then we would be on our honeymoon in New Zealand!”

“You said you didn’t want to marry her anyway.”

Logan, bursting with frustration, “That’s not the point! You waited this long to tell me?! AND the only reason why you did was because we ran into each other and forced the issue!! If I had not been at that party then when would you have told me, huh? When were you on your way to the hospital to give birth? At the kid’s first birthday? When the kid got into a good prep school and you needed money for tuition?”

“Hey! I! SAID! I! WAS! PLANNING! TO! TELL! YOU!”

“Did the past year and a half really mean nothing to you at all? I was really just a distraction, a crutch?”

“NO! I mean, YES, it meant something to me, YOU mean something to me. I love and care about you so much, but right now I cannot concentrate on anything but this baby and getting myself together. Do you get that?”

Sighing with resignation, “Yes, I do.” Logan answered quietly.

Rory, matching his tone, “I always planned to tell you.”

“Yes, but on your own terms right? Everything on your terms right? I mean all that bullshit you said today about how I can be as involved or uninvolved, Do you really think I would abandon you? Do you really have that low opinion of me???”

“No, I BELIEVE that you would be there. I never once thought you would abandon me…”

“So what? You think that you can go and play the supermodern woman and raise this kid without my input…”

“No, not at all”

“Good, because I’m here to declare that that will not happen. I’m the father, I have rights!”

“Of course you do.”

Logan turned away, taking deep breaths, becoming visibly calmer, but on the verge of tears, which he hid from Rory. He couldn’t take it anymore.

With his back still to her, the dejected Logan asked, “So you have a doctor?”

“Yes.”

“You like and trust this doctor?”

“Yes, it’s the same doctor that delivered Lane and Zach’s twins.”

“When’s your next appointment?”

“Next month, on the 16th in the morning.”

“Ok, well I’ll be there. Text me the details?”

“Yes. For sure.”

“Good. See you then.”

With that, Logan left.

Rory slowly sat down and started to cry. Lorelai pulled up a chair and sat next to Rory and wrapped her arms around her. “Oh Mom,” cried Rory, “I suck!”

“Only at romantic relationships. Chip off the old block.” reassured her mother. Rory laughed and started to calm down. Lorelai let go of her daughter and walked to the kitchen to get her a glass of water. On the way she saw a box with a picture of a pregnant woman marked “Belly Bands”.

“Ah, Luke?” asked the curious Lorelai, “What is this?”

The embarrassed Luke quickly grabbed the box “oh, just something I picked up, thinking Rory could use it. It’s no big deal.”

He took the box and quickly walked upstairs.

_____________________________________________________________

Logan left the diner and walked straight to his car where again, he sat with his head on the steering wheel trying to process what had just happened. He looked up and saw Rory sitting and visibly shaken while Lorelai hugged her. For a split second, Logan felt compassion for her and felt the need to run in and comfort her, but that was quickly replaced by anger. He honestly did not know what he could or could not believe anymore.

When he finally got his bearings, he drove off, back to Honor's house where he found her sitting in her kitchen waiting for his return. She greeted him at the door with a hug and an offer for a hot chocolate and a cookie, something she would make for him when they were kids (she also threw in an offer for an adult drink which he declined.)

“Everything will be ok, I promise.” She assured her brother as she went off to the refrigerator. Logan looked at his sister as she busied herself around the kitchen, _thank God,_ he thought, _thank God for her._

He felt his phone buzz. He sat down at the kitchen table and started emptying his coat pockets. He pulled out his phone, which showed a text notification from Rory giving information on her doctor’s appointment, the engagement ring, and the envelope containing the ultrasound which Rory gave him earlier. Logan just sat there staring at these items, wondering what was coming next.


	13. Rueful Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory and Lorelai spend time with Richard on his birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exploration of how Richard's death affected Rory.

**Rueful Regret**

_January 2016_

_Hartford_

_Rory was barely out of the car when she heard the yelling._

_“I just don’t understand how this can happen!! How hard is it to put one line in a piece of stone? This is the second time! You need to fix it!”   Rory turned the corner to find Emily and Lorelai standing next to Mr. Collins, a beleaguered cemetery representative. Richard’s gravestone had a mistake. It would have been fine had it not been the second mistake they encountered. While Emily took it in stride the first time, today she was not having it and was in rare form. Lorelai stood by watching her mother, making apologetic faces to Mr. Collins as Emily continued on her diatribe._

_“Mrs. Gilmore, perhaps this would be better discussed in the comfort of our offices. We can the stone Mason on the phone, and we can discuss directly with them.”_

_Mr. Collins offered._

_“Well, then lead the way. Lorelai? “ Emily said without looking at her_ direction _, “Are you coming?”_

_“_ No _, I think I’ll hang back and visit with dad for a_ while, _” Lorelai replied._

_As Emily and Mr. Collins made their way, Rory approached the grave site._

_“Hey mom,” Rory greeted, giving Lorelai a quick hug._

_“_ Hey _, kid. You just missed Grandma and her_ gravestone _freak out. Truly epic!”_

_“I caught a bit of it while walking up. So what wrong now?”_

_“Forgot_ the _quotation marks.”_

_“Really?”_

_“_ Yea _and well mom is on edge today so I am cutting her some slack.”_

 _As today would have been Richard’s_ seventy _-third birthday, the Gilmore women were feeling a little down._

_“Hey Grandpa, Happy Birthday” Rory greeted as she replaced the flowers in front of his grave. Lorelai and Rory stood there silently for a while having their own silent conversations with Richard. After a few minutes, Rory started to tear up. Lorelai leaned over and put her arm around her._

_“Hasn’t gotten any easier has it?” Lorelai asked_

_“Nope, it certainly has not, especially today. He would have been seventy-three. Funny to say this, but it just seems so young.”_

_“I think that’s because your Grandpa was so full of life. He showed no signs of slowing down…”_

_“…so fate intervened.”_

_“It was his time Rory. In the end, it was just his time.”_

_Rory started to tear up again. Sensing that her emotions were more than just Richard, Lorelai asked, “Hey, are you ok? Is this just about Grandpa?”_

_“Why do you ask?”_

_“You’ve been so preoccupied lately._ Every time _we see each other, every time we talk, I don’t know, I get the feeling that you are holding back. So, what up kid?”_

_“I wish…I regret… that Grandpa died before he could see me succeed.”_

_“What are you_ talking _about?”_

_“There was always this plan. I wanted to be Christine_ Amanpour _, or at least on staff at a prestigious newspaper. Where am I now?_ Nowhere _near Christine or a_ permanent position _.”_

_“Journalism has taken a hard hit the past few years. It’s understandable.”_

_“Yes, but_ it's not supposed _to be like this. I_ am supposed _to have everything figured out, I’m thirty-two for Pete’s sake.”_

_“Says who?”_

_“Grandpa had it figured out, so did you.”_

_“Well, I had the added responsibility of another mouth to feed, while Grandpa grew up in a different time where the opportunities were fewer, and influence was king, and life was pretty much set up for him. This is a whole different world, Rory. You are navigating uncharted territory. You are the first Gilmore to have a_ _wide-open opportunities in front of her. Having so many choices can make things harder. “_

_“I just wonder, if I made_ different _choices I would feel differently.”_

_“Like what?”_

Like choosing another profession other than journalism.  Like not having an affair with my engaged ex-boyfriend, _Rory thought._

_“Oh, that maybe I should have picked a different profession. Maybe gone to Law School.”_

_“You’re not cut out to be a lawyer Rory.”_

_“Yea, I’m not.”_

_“Your Grandfather loved_ you _and was very proud of you. You hung the moon as far as he was concerned. He died your biggest_ fan _, Rory. I hope you know that.”_

_“Yes, I do” Rory replied with a tinge of doubt._


	14. The New and Improved Lorelai Gilmore II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory getting her life back on track.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the original version, Paris was pregnant. I nixed that for this version; too many unplanned pregnancies.

  
**The New and Improved Lorelai Part II**

January 2017

Stars Hollow

Seven in the morning and Rory was already was up and working. With her standing doctors appointment set for 10:30 am she had three hours to get things done, and she was determined. Presently she was wading through a plethora of work e-mails that seemed to explode overnight. After the e-mails, she had copy to edit, a load of laundry to wash and dry, and then she had to pack for her trip to New York. The 6:30 pm train was her goal.

The last month brought Rory a whirlwind of changes that seemed to put at least her professional life on an upward trajectory. The meeting with Moses and the Content Team at his design firm went very well. So much so that the offer for the position came only an hour after the meeting. Breaking the news of her pregnancy scared her, _what if being pregnant causes them to reconsider?_ she obsessed. Much to her relief Moses didn’t even bat an eye. “Lucky for you”, Moses explained, “Our work here is deadline driven. We don’t care where or when you do your work, as long as you get it in on time. So meet your deadlines, and keep your meetings and you’ll be ok. Plus” He added jokingly but serious, “it would be illegal for us to rescind the offer based on pregnancy anyway.”

She had only been on the job for about three weeks and she already felt at home. The subject matter, politics and popular culture, was right up her alley. The election of Donald Trump and the reaction afterward made for some interesting twists in the direction of the project.  She was juggling two projects at the moment, finishing up the follow-up work on the material that addressed events during the 2016 campaign, and a new look into the happenings and aftermath of the election. The latter assignment meant setting up interviews with various players in the campaign, people in the entertainment and retail industries, as well as sociologists, political theorist, economist, and other academics. What she liked best was that no two days were the same. There would be an interview with Lorne Michaels one day and Fredrick M. Hess on the other.  Through her work she was able to delve into other forms of media other than print, learning about the mechanics of video interviews, editing, and voiceover work.  The work also gave Rory the opportunity to reconnect with friends and professional contacts from the days covering the Obama campaign, many of whom she discovered, were having their struggles as well. It was exhilarating being in a room with like-minded people, researching and debating, writing and editing, and seeing her ideas come to life.

 _The Gazette_  also became a point of pride. Resistance to change by the staff, as well as seemingly arbitrary regulatory requirements imposed by Taylor made Rory’s efforts to bring  _The Gazette_  to the twenty-first century proved much more of a challenge than she had anticipated. Yet, she was steadfast in her resolve and her efforts paid off. Thanks to some equipment donations and some seed money from the small business association of the State of Connecticut, Rory was able to upgrade the computers. She tapped into the talents of the Thirty-Something Gang who used their talents to get a website up and running. The popularity of the poem inspired Rory to open the site for other contributions.  With some help from Jess, Rory networked with the regional poetry/literary community, including the works of their membership in the monthly publishing of the Gazette.  This new avenue for expression brought in interest outside of Stars Hallow garnering advertisements on the website and paper and thus allowing the Gazette to generate a small profit, the first in over 20 years. The income generated from advertising allowed for Rory to hire a part-time intern to take over the day-to-day operations (another Thirty-Something Gang member who decided to go back to school for his masters)  while Rory retained the title of Managing Editor.  

Then there was the book which, unfortunately with all that was going on, suffered. Rory had twelve chapters written. While she used her new job as the excuse, the real reason was that she had hit a wall. “It seems funny that I am blocked about this story since it’s based on my life,” Rory lamented to Jess at Christmas dinner.

“Why do you think you are blocked?” Jess asked, “Is it pregnancy stress?”

“No, in fact, it was during the stress that I wrote the most. It’s missing something, I just can’t quite put my finger on it.”

“Well let me read what you have so far and maybe I can help.”

“No. No offense, but I think I need an outside opinion to look at it. You are part of the story, and I need objectivity.”

“Fair enough. I can see if I can find someone who can give your manuscript a glance.”

"Thank you, that would be great."

In addition to the job success, Rory also found a new place to live, which was both a happy accident and a negotiating coup. One day, overwhelmed by fatigue, Esther caught Rory asleep at her desk when she returned back to work after lunch. ‘Why are you sleeping here when you have the snooze nest upstairs?” she scolded as she opened the file cabinet.

“The snooze nest?”

“Yes, it was where Bernie used to take his afternoon naps.”

Rory went to the second floor of  _The Gazette_  building to find the skeleton of an efficiency apartment. About 1000 square feet, it had a kitchenette (minus the appliances), and a small bathroom with a missing wall, but enough room to carve out areas for a bed, sitting room, and an office space. The room reminded her of the shed that she and Lorelai shared when they lived at the Independence Inn. It was perfect.

Rory’s title property research found that the owner of the building was a holding company that could be traced back to Taylor ("I did it for tax purposes. It’s all legal, albeit admittingly not entirely ethical.") With that leverage, along with her success with  _The_ Gazette, Rory was able to not only convince Taylor to rent the space, but also negotiate a very favorable rental rate (plus water and heat and brand new appliances.) Tom and Luke inspected the property determining that bones, electrical and plumbing were solid. The day after Christmas, Luke and Jess proceeded to build a new wall around Rory’s bathroom. Jess hung around town a bit longer and helped Rory put up blinds and curtains, line her kitchen shelves with contact paper, clean up the floors and paint the walls. The emptying of the Gilmore house gave Rory cookware (which she hardly used) a microwave, mismatched dishes, glassware, and cutlery. Rory was also able to claim her bed, as well as linens, and other miscellaneous household items. Best of all, with her first paycheck, she bought a brand new sofa bed for her living room and was able to move her grandfather’s desk and chair and other items from his study into her new office area.  A few days after the new year, Rory was able moved in. “Why move out of our house if you are not there half the time?” Lorelai sarcastically whined and she carried boxes of books up the stairs to Rory’s apartment.

“I need a place of my own, Virginia Wolf said it’s good for me,” Rory replied.

“Well if Virginia said it, it must be true! So please remind me of your schedule again??”

“I will be spending long weekends here, and mid-week in New York. I will leave for New York on Monday nights and return to Stars Hollow Thursday evening or Friday morning, depending on that I can get done.”

“And you’re really going to stay with Paris?”

“Yes, with her and Doyle back together, Paris said she needs a buffer.  Now that they have reconciled, Doyles is overdoing the dutiful husband/father thing and it's making her crazy.  Plus I 'balance out the nanny', according to her.”

“You’re such the modern busy woman. It’s a good thing you don’t cook or else we would never see you.”

“Well, I need to keep busy. Busy is what’s keeping me sane,”

It was true, Rory’s schedule was packed, but she liked it that way. Reflecting on her schedule she realized that she had almost every minute of her life filled with a task. Yet, she wasn't stressed about it as it felt good to have steady work that brought her great satisfaction.  She also admitted that being so busy brought a welcome distraction from other matters in her life, namely Logan and the baby.


	15. The New and Improved Logan Huntzberger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How is Logan coping? Let's find out.

**The New and Improved Logan Huntzberger**

 

January 2017

New York

 

_It was great to see you too. The evening doesn’t have to end. Would you like to come up for a drink? Catch-up a bit more? It has been a while…_

The evening started innocently enough. Logan attended a dinner; a medium sized gathering celebrating the 40th birthday of Logan and Honor’s cousin Darby. Attending this gathering were Honor and Josh, Logan and Honor’s other cousins, and close friends of Darby’s from various stages of her life, including  Claude, an old family friend and one of Honor’s infamous bridesmaids.

Logan and Claude had a history. Her family and the Huntzberger family had been linked for generations. Logan and Claude played together as children, she went to Brearley with Honor, and she and Logan engaged in a ‘casual” relationship his first two years at Yale. When he and Rory broke up the first time, Claude became a source of companionship in the days and weeks following culminating in a one night stand. It was Honor’s suspicion that Claude, despite her subsequent boyfriends, never totally got over Logan. “Please be kind to her.” Honor implored to Logan while having lunch a few days before the party.

 “What do you mean?” Logan asked genuinely innocently.

 “Claude?? How she feels about you?? I swear, boys…” Honor answered rolling her eyes.

 

Although it was a nice evening, Logan found that he could not fully relax and be present because he had so much on his mind. It had been a tough month. Having learned that he was going to be a father, Rory and the baby were naturally what he thought about 24/7.  But it wasn’t just Rory and the baby haunting his mind.  He also thought about himself and the decisions and events that led to where they were now.  He asked himself time and time again what in the world possessed him to have an affair with Rory. Here he was, a respected person in his field, being groomed to take over one of the world's most influential media conglomerates, and yet he was such a mess when it came to his private life. He had become a cliché and that bothered him to no end. Rory was right, it was like being part of a telenovela, although there was no outlandish storyline to save them from themselves.

His feeling and thoughts about Rory would go from one extreme to another. Generally, he was still feeling angry with her, and his the memories of her would reflect this; the fight they had in the diner, his confusion when she proposed the “Vegas” agreement, the sadness he would feel when they would say goodbye, how he had to consciously compartmentalize his thoughts and feelings when he was with Odette, and the overall awful feeling he harbored as the result of the constant deception in which he was engaged for the past year.

However, every once in a while good memories would creep in; waking up in each other’s arms on weekend mornings, engaging in their easy banter as they cooked dinner, taking long afternoon walks, laying around the flat on a rainy day reading. _Yes_ , he would tell himself when feeling reflective,  _there were some wonderful moments, but overall our relationship was messed up._

He felt angry. He felt hurt. He felt alone. He felt very lonely.

 And he felt like he was on shaky ground.

The last time he felt this way was when he moved to California. He recalled the emotional pain he endured during those years in Silicon Valley. It wasn’t just that Rory rejected him, but also the fact that for the first time in his life, he was totally on his own. He took a big chance leaving the safe confines of the East Coast. He had no idea whether or not this venture he committed to would succeed.  He was walking a tightrope without a net; no birthright that guaranteed him a job, no family to provide unlimited financial backing, no friends or family to distract him, no fiancée/wife to love and support him. It was just him, and it was scary as hell. So, he put all his energy in what he could control, throwing himself into his work, putting in 12-18 hour days, sometimes spending the night at the office. When he took his focus off of work and gave himself time to have some semblance of a social life, he would go out on thrill-seeking adventures; skydiving over the California plains, rock climbing Yosemite, heli-skiing in the Canadian Rockies.

But then things started looking up. His success with his business in California boosted his confidence. There was no better feeling than knowing that he was able to build a life on his own terms. He learned, that if needed, he would be able to walk away from his father, the Huntzberger destiny, and all that was attached to it and be ok.  It was with this knowledge that enabled him to return to the Huntzberger fold without reservation.  He was ready to accept the responsibility and privileges that he was blessed to have.   He had grown, and that made him feel good.    But while his professional life was working well, he still felt disconnected from the personal. While he didn't live like a monk, he wasn't interested in commitment either.

Then he met Odette.

They bonded after being thrown together on the ride to dinner after Wimbledon, good-naturedly arguing over who was more mischevious in boarding school. A Miata at the bottom of Lake Rutherford was ranked against pictures of half-naked administrators stealing kisses in coat closets. “I went to Catholic school, run by nuns! By extension, I was offending GOD, so that gives me extra points and therefore I win!” Odette definitively stated after about an hour of trying to one-up each other with stories. The declaration made him laugh, really laugh for the first time in years. In her he found a kindred spirit, a connection unlike any he encountered. He admired her independence and her drive to be more than her upbringing. He marveled at the quiet strength in which she carried out her life. He began to rely on her as a partner and confidant. Their relationship brought comfort, safety, and understanding, enabling them to develop a true love for each other. Yet, despite their compatibility, despite their genuine feelings, it wasn’t enough to keep their feeling for others at bay.

 So now he was alone and untethered again, but this time with a baby to complicate matters.

 “Hey, are you there?” Logan, deep in thought again, was brought back to reality by Darby, who as snapping her finger in front of his face, “did you hear what I said?”

 “Sorry Darbs, I zoned out there for a bit. Long week.”

 “Well, again, thank you for coming dear cousin.”

 “My pleasure.” He said hugging Darby, “I can’t believe you made it to 40!”

 “Ha! I know, right?! Neither can I! There were some close calls there. You ok? Did you have fun? You seem preoccupied.”

 “I have a lot on my mind, but celebrating you is a great distraction.”

 Darby leaned into him, whispering, “Are you doing better? I mean since Odette and everything.”

 ‘Yea, yea, I’m good, I’m good.” He mockingly whispered back.

 “Uh huh…well, you know who to call if you need a night on the town to forget. I may be old, but…”

 “You will NEVER be old Darbs.” Logan said with a smile.

With that, they took their leave. Logan rode the elevator down with Honor, Josh, and Claude.   Outside a car was waiting to take Logan home. He instinctively turned to Claude and asked, “Do you have a ride home?”

 “Oh, I was going to take a cab or call a for a ride,” Claude answered.

 “Nonsense. You’re on the way home anyway. Hop in.”

 “Ok, thanks!” Claude said excitedly.

 Logan made sure Claude was in the car before he turned to Honor who had a serious look on her face. “You are just dropping her off and that’s it, right?” it was more of a command than a question.

 “Yes, why are you being so weird about this?”

 “Because I know you and I know her. You are emotionally fragile right now, and she is an extreme empath with a very, very, very soft spot for you. You two together alone is asking for trouble. You know what? We’ll drop her off.”

 “Her neighborhood is in the opposite direction of where you are going. That and traffic would mean adding at least an hour to an already long drive, so no you will not! I promise no extracurricular activities.”

 “Really?”

 “Yes.”

 “Well, ok.”

 Honor kissed her brother goodbye and with a last warning look, got into her car. Logan waved as she and Josh drove away.

 A minute later, Logan and Claude were on their way. During the ride to her apartment in Chelsea, they caught up, updating each other on their jobs, families, gossiping about mutual friends and acquaintances.  Finally, they arrived at Claude’s building. Logan got out of the car and helped Claude out and walked her to the building entrance.

 “Well Claude, it was really good to see you.” Logan said, with a hug.

 “It was great to see you too. The evening doesn’t have to end. Would you like to come up for a drink? Catch-up a bit more? It  _has_  been a while…”

 Logan felt a sense of foreboding. He knew what ‘come up for a drink’ could lead to.  _It would be nice to go up with her_ , he thought, to find solace in the arms of the familiar. She had been a source of comfort before and she seemed more than willing now. So what would be the harm?

 “Thanks, Claude, but I had a long week and am barely hanging on. I don’t think I would be great company. But hey, let’s have lunch sometime. I’ll get in touch, or you get in touch.”  

 “Oh, ok” the disappointed Claude responded, “well, thanks again for the ride.”

 “Anytime, good night.”

 Claude turned and walked into her building. Once he saw that she was safely inside, Logan got back into the car and went home.


	16. Truce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory and Logan attend their first doctor's appointment.

**Truce**

 

January 16, 2017

West Hartford and Darien, CT

 

Reviewing her desk calendar Rory noted the date, January 16, 2017, or aka week #15, well into her second trimester. At this point, Rory was not only feeling, but also starting to look her pregnant state. All in all wasn’t so bad.

      

The immense exhaustion felt in the first trimester had given way to a newfound energy. She considered herself lucky that so far her pregnancy has been uneventful. She recalled Paris and her pregnancy where it seemed she was perpetually nauseated and was seemingly throwing up every five seconds. Seeing that her first trimester was fraught with other stresses,  Rory unconsciously knocked on her desk. She was lucky, very lucky.

 

To stay on top of her quickly filling calendar, Rory set up standing appointments with her OB every third Monday of the month. Today’s doctor’s appointment was especially worrisome, as it would mark the first time she would see Logan in over a month. Since their blow-up in the diner, communication had been restricted to “need-to-know” texts. How are you feeling? Anything new? Time and location of the appointment. How long will it take? All communications were short and right to the point, no dwelling or second-guessing.

_________________________________

 

Logan pulled into the first parking space he saw. After cutting the engine, he sat for a few minutes to get his bearings. In a few minutes, he would join Rory at his first appointment with Rory’s OB. This would also be the first time since their confrontation at the diner that he would see her. He spent the previous week nervous about this meeting; try as he might to forgive Rory, to put aside his anger over her not telling him about being pregnant in a timely manner, he just couldn’t. Logan realized it wasn’t just about her not telling him right away, but also his suspicion that she would not have told him about the pregnancy at all. Nightmare scenarios of him opening his door to an eighteen-year-old kid claiming him as his/her father haunted him. Then there was the disappointment when he realized that she did not feel the same way about him. While he regretted their “Vegas” agreement, he thought she too was not 100% behind it either, that in some way she wished there was more. Her not wanting to make a go of it confirmed, she didn’t love him as he loved her.

The second he stepped into the waiting room he immediately felt uncomfortable. There, the lone male, in the busy waiting room of Rory’s OB/GYN. Yes, there were other men there, but they had female partners with them but he, having arrived at the appointment 20 minutes early, was alone. He sat down in a row of empty and started thumbing through a parenting magazine, arriving on an article about baby gear.   He couldn’t believe the things he found. There were the things he knew about (strollers, cribs, car seats), things that he didn’t know about but looked interesting (moby wraps, backpack carriers, bike seats), and then there were the things that just seemed downright weird (diaper wipe warmers, shopping cart covers). He was about to delve into an article of disposable vs. cloth diapers when Rory arrived.

______________________________________

 

Rory arrived at the doctor’s office to find Logan already there immersed in a parenting magazine. As she walks to him she sees that he is looking at gear. She found that a bit endearing.

 

“Hi,” she said as casual as possible.

 

“Hello, yourself” Logan replied in a neutral tone, barely looking up from the magazine.

 

“Been here long?”

 

“About 10 minutes. I thought it would bad to be late on the first day.”

Rory sat in the seat next to him “What are you looking at?” she asked. 

“Baby gear. It’s amazing what it takes to raise a baby these days. You know that there are germ repellant seat covers for shopping carts?”

“Yes, I remember Paris received one after her son was born. She opened it and launched into a 20-minute tirade on the benefits of germs and how our overly clean society is turning Americans into paranoid immune challenged zombie snowflakes. It was a really fun Bris!”

Logan smirked picturing Paris’ tirade. She could be very funny when she didn’t mean to be.

“So are you clear on what is happening today?” Rory asked 

“Yes, you’re having your general check-up, blood work, and an ultrasound.”

“Have you given any thought as to whether or not you want to know the sex of the baby?”

“I’d like to know. I’d like to be prepared. I am kind of through with surprises for a while.”

“I hear ya”

 

“And you?”

 

“I’m still deciding. It will probably be a curtain-time decision.”

 

“Ok, you’re choice.”

 

“Yep, it is…Logan…”

 

Rory was interrupted by the nurse calling them in. As soon as they walked in Rory was handed a cup. She headed to the bathroom while Logan went to the exam room. About five minutes Rory rejoined Logan.

 

“What happened there?” Logan Inquired.

 

“I have to pee in a cup every exam. Check for preeclampsia. We must escape the fate of Sybil Crawley.” Rory matter-a factly replied.

 

Making a note in his head to research preeclampsia, Logan responded, “Yes, that would be good."

 

The nurse took Rory’s weight (5 lbs. weight gain) blood pressure (normal). “Everything looks good. So just change into your gown and the doctor will be in shortly.” After the nurse left, Rory contemplated the hospital gown, looking at Logan with some concern.

 

“What?” He asked.

 

“I have to change into this gown,” Rory replied.

 

“So?”

 

“Which means I have to take off my clothes.”

 

“And?”

 

“Well, you’re here. Can I please have some privacy?”

 

“Are you serious? Need I remind you that getting naked that got us into this situation in the first place.”

 

“Our circumstances have changed?”

 

“You know what? Fine. Let me know when you’re ready.”

 

Logan left in a huff. He exited the room and stood outside the door where again, he started feeling self-conscious. As he waited he looked at the walls to see bulletin boards filled with baby announcements. Some just pictures with the vitals, while others had professional photographs, no doubt created by a graphic designer.   He was reading the announcement of Wallace Allen Pitman III when someone came up behind him. “Hello, are you looking for someone?” asked the person who Logan assumed was Rory’s doctor asked.

“Umm yes, I am just waiting for …the patient in this room. She's getting dressed.”

“Oh, you’re here with Rory Gilmore?”

“Yes.”

“I’m Dr. Miller, Rory’s OB.”

“Great” Logan said shaking his hand, “Good to meet you. Logan, Logan Huntzberger. I am the father.”

“Good to meet you too. First appointment?”

“Yes, I’m a bit overwhelmed.”

“Well, we will do our best to make things calm.”

Logan got a good vibe from him, which helped him feel better. Dr. Miller knocked on the door and after getting the all clear from Rory, proceeded in with Logan following.

 

“Hi, Dr. Miller, nice to see you again. I see you’ve met Logan.” Rory said when they walked into the room.

 

“Yes, we just got acquainted outside. Ok, shall we start?” Dr. Miler replied.

 

Dr. Miller proceeded with the exam. They discussed how Rory was feeling ("I finally got my energy back.") and her diet ("My stepfather hides the french fries and pureeing kale in my milkshakes.") The three discussed testing and debate amnio vs. Marker test (marker test, less evasive.)

 

“Any movement?”, asked Dr. Miller.

 

“I feel some fluttering now and then,” replied Rory.

 

The look of extreme frustration on Logan’s face was evident.

 

“Ok, so do you have any questions for me?” Dr. Miller continued, acting as if he didn't notice the change of mood in the room.

 

“Yes,” Logan said, “so when is the due date?”

 

“July 5th. But remember that is an estimate it can happen before or after the date. This is one of those things one cannot predict.”

 

“Unless we decide to induce or have a c-section,” Rory interjected.

 

“Have you talked about that?” Dr. Miller responded.

 

Logan and Rory looked at each other uncomfortably.

 

“I am open to whatever you want to do, right up to delivery time.” Dr. Miller reassured them.  

 

“So who is permitted to be at the birth? And will you be there?” Logan asked the doctor.

 

“That depends. We work on rotation here, so if I am not on call or am not available then one of my colleagues will attend the birth. We all have the same approach so I assure you no matter who you get you will have the best of care. As for who is permitted to be in the room well, of course, there will be Rory, the delivery team and me and after that, it depends on you. Some fathers want to be there, others wait outside. Some just want just the parents-to-be, other have invited the whole neighborhood. It’s up to you, just no video cameras, please.

 

“We still have to discuss the specifics,” Rory said.

 

“Sure,” said Dr. Miller, “Again, you have plenty of time.”

 

With the exam over, Logan and the doctor left to let Rory get dressed. Outside Logan said his goodbyes, shaking Dr. Miller’s hand again before he went on to the next patient. Rory and Logan then proceed to the radiology room for the ultrasound. Logan helped Rory onto the exam bed and then sat down. The tension between them was palpable.

 

“Have you thought about whether you want to be in the room during the delivery?” Rory asked trying to ease the tension.

 

“Yes, I would like to be there,” answered Logan

 

“My mom was planning to be there too. I mean if you don’t mind.”

 

“Sure, you are, after all, the one who is steering this ship.”

 

Rory was now visibly irritated, “What is that suppose to mean?”

 

“What do you mean?” The equally irritated Logan responded.

 

“You have just been a total pill this entire morning.”

 

Logan was exasperated. “I just meant that since you are the one who is going to be pushing a brand new human out of your body, that you should have control over who is spectating. That’s all.”

 

“Okaay!"

 

“Is there anything else?”

 

“No.”

 

After a tense moment of silence Logan burst out, “So, you’ve been feeling fluttering? You didn’t tell me that.”

 

“We haven’t exactly been chatty lately.” Rory chided.

 

“Well, that’s pretty important, you didn’t think to even mention it?”

 

“Honestly, I didn’t think that  was worth mentioning.”

 

“Well, I would like to know about things like that.”

 

“Well, I'm sorry.” 

 

Taking her reply as sarcastic, Logan shot back,  “Yes, because we know this is all about you, your timeline…”

 

Rory looked at Logan incredulously, “Are you STILL upset about that? “

 

Logan, equally incredulous, “Yes! Would you have told me by now if we hadn’t run into each other, or would it have been Lorelai that is here with you right now?”

 

“Oh my God, you need to let it go!”

 

“You know you didn’t even apologize for waiting so long.”

 

Before Rory could respond the ultrasound tech arrived. Logan and Rory looked away from each other, gathering their emotions so not to further embarrass themselves in front of the tech (and maybe the whole office) who obviously heard them arguing.  Rory laid down and pulled up her shirt, revealing the early stages of a baby bump. The tech began the ultrasound.

 

Logan watched as the tech squeezed a gel onto Rory's abdomen and then applied the ultrasound scope onto her lower belly.  “Just breath normally, " she instructed Rory as she maneuvered the scope around her belly.  "Ok…hold on…there!” she said, turning the monitor towards Rory and Logan who bewilderedly looked at the screen as the tech points out the aspect so the ultrasound, the baby’s head, the torso, the arms and legs. They saw and heard the heartbeat. At one point the baby turned its head, looking straight at them.

 

“So you want to know the sex?”

 

“No.” they both answered in unison and in awe. They looked at each other surprised.

 

“Ah, a couple that likes mystery.”

 

With the ultrasound finished, the tech printed copies of the images and handed them to Logan while Rory cleaned up. Looking at the print of the ultrasound, Logan was struck by the reality of their situation. The first image Rory gave him was merely a picture of a large dot, this one actually had some substance. This was real, very, very real. He looked at Rory with some sympathy. He imagined the shock she must have experienced when she found out all those weeks ago. Given her situation and the state of their relationship, the stress must have been awful.   While he wasn’t happy that she waited so long, he knew that she was sincere about wanting him to be involved. That is enough, Logan thought, that is enough for now.

Rory and Logan thanked the tech and after she left the Logan looked at Rory, “Can I buy you lunch?” He asked in a conciliatory tone.

 

Rory looked at him and smiled.

_______________________________________

 

 An hour later Rory and Logan found themselves sitting in a pub eating burgers, and fries.

 

“Please don’t tell Luke I ate fries.” Rory playfully pleaded.

 

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” He answered smiling.

 

“What time do you have to be back to work?”

 

“I took the day off.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Big day Ace.”

 

After a few seconds of silence, Rory spoke up, “I’m sorry.” she said.

 

“No Rory…” Logan replied

 

“No, let me finish. I’m sorry. You’re right I should have told you sooner. It was just such a shock when I found out. It took 20 positive tests over a span of a week until it finally sank in.   And then my mom and Luke got married, and then I had to tell my mom, and well that didn’t go well.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“She has been really and supportive and wonderful, but it was a bit of a shock for her, and she initially didn’t take it well. She not only didn’t take it well, but she was mad at herself for not taking it well, and that became a vicious circle. To her, it was history repeating itself, and she kind of felt like she failed.”

 

“At what?”

 

“At being a parent. The one thing a parent does not want it to have their children repeat their mistakes.”

 

“Yea, but she was 16 with very little options. You are 33, with options and lots of support.”

 

“Yes, but still, the circumstances…”

 

“You DO know you have support right?”

 

“Yes, I do,” Rory answered with a smile. “Anyway, this does not excuse me waiting for so long. After our confrontation at the diner, I laid in bed that night with the scenario of you coming home from your honeymoon to the news that I was pregnant playing over and over in my head. Ugh, it was awful. That would have been a stellar way to start a marriage.”

 

“ Well, knowing what we know now, it would seem that a surprise pregnancy resulting from a torrid affair would have been the least of our problems. But, thank you for your apology.”

 

“Thank you for accepting my apology. So have you told anyone?”

 

“Honor knows and I assume Josh knows too.”

 

“How did she take it?”

 

“At first she was scared because she thought I was talking about Odette. Honor never really bonded with Odette. She always felt there was something not right about her.”

 

“You sister is insightful.”

 

“She knows me well. Anyway, initially, she was scared because she thought I had gotten myself on a "Bridget-Tom-Giselle" triangle. She was highly relieved and excited when she found out it was you.”

 

“Well, I always liked her.”

 

“Yes, and she always liked you. She was kind of crushed when we broke up the first time.”

 

Rory looked away, a bit uncomfortable. She quickly changed the subject, “When are you going to tell your parents?”

 

“Well, Mitchum is in Dallas this week and gets back tomorrow. Shira is at a spa and gets back the day after. Honor has arranged to have a family dinner on Friday evening at her house. She figured if we double team them the initial fallout will be minimal.”

  

“You have a great sister.”

 

“She’s the best. So Ace, where are we?”

 

“In a pub eating junk food, hello?”

 

“No, I mean where are we relationship wise? How are we going about this? I accept that we are not together, I don’t like it, but respect where you are in terms of your life, but we are going to have to function if this co-parenting thing is going to work.”

 

“Yes, I know.”

 

“Can I call you? Can we Facetime? Because this only texting all the time leaves a lot to be desired.”

 

“Yes we can call, Facetime, e-mail, text, send smoke signals.”

 

“And your appointments are every third Monday?”

 

“Up until the last month, when they are once a week, and then every other day if we are overdue.”

 

“And you’re still ok with me being there?”

 

“Yes, but they are not that long, so its ok if you don’t make ALL of them.”

 

“Well, I will certainly try…”

 

“Thanks”

 

“Good. And if you ever need anything, just let me know.”

 

“Thanks. I will be sure to keep you apprised of flutters or any other news.”

 

“ Good. So what are your plans? Now that Emily’s sold the house where are you going to work?”

 

“Well, I didn’t tell you, but I started the job at Moses Nyguen’s firm. So I will actually be in the city three-four days a week.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes, I’ve been doing this for about two weeks now. I’m staying with Paris and Doyle while I’m there.”

 

“Brave girl, and when you’re not in the city you’re staying with your mom and Luke?”

 

“No, I found an apartment! I am living in the space above _The Gazette_. It’s a great place. Good vibe. I’m glad to be in my own space. You should see it sometime.”

 

“I’ll make a point of it. So how is the book?”

 

“Good! I’ve written about twelve chapters. I’m feeling a bit blocked. Jess is seeing if he can get an editor friend to review it.”

 

“Jess?”

 

“Luke’s nephew, he was with me at Olivia’s reception? He’s is part owner of a press…”

 

“Yes, I remember Jess.”

 

“Oh, yes…well anyway, He’s also been talking to me about how to pitch the book. Hopefully, it will get picked up.”

 

“Well you know you have an “in” in the business”

 

“Yes, but I would rather do it on my own.”

 

“Fair enough Ace. I’m sure it will be great.   You’re a great writer.”

 

“Thanks for being my cheerleader.”

 

“Anytime! So, let’s toast.”

 

They both picked up their respective glasses of Lemonade.

 

“ Truce?”

 

“Truce.”

 

“To cooperation, co-parenting, and little baby Huntzberger.”

 

“Gilmore”

 

“Gilmore-Huntzberger”

 

“ Sounds good to me.”

 

They clinked their glasses. Logan then took the ultrasound out of this pocket and the two soon-to-be parents admired the images of their baby.

 

_____________

 

Later that evening, Logan found himself again at Honor’s house. After dinner with her family and putting the kids to bed (“We want Uncle Logan to read us a story!”) Logan, Honor, and Josh sat down to talk. Logan showed them the ultrasound pictures.

“Wow”, Josh said as he passed the picture back to Logan, “this is real.”

“As real as it gets” Logan responded.

“So, boy or girl?” Honor inquired rather excitedly.

“We don’t know. We decided to be surprised.”

“ Can I see the picture again?”

Logan handed the image to Honor. She and Josh studied the picture, turning it upside down and around. Their exchange during their analysis of the ultrasound made Logan grin; they were so an old married couple.

“Ha! There! I think know!” Honor said waving the image in the air victoriously.

“DON’T tell me!” Logan warned.

“I won’t,” she said with a sly smile.

“So what next?” Josh asked.

“Well, we now have to inform _them,_ right?” Honor stated.

“Yes, are we all set for dinner?” Logan asked.

“Yes, Friday evening at six. Let’s just hope they don’t cancel.” Josh said.

“Oh, they won’t. I had Theo and Charlotte invite them personally. You know that they won’t disappoint them.” Honor assured them.

“Isn’t it funny that they never gave us the time of day when we were young, but drop everything for your kids?” Logan asked.

“The prerogative of grandparents.” Honor replied.

“How do you think they will take it?” Josh asked, knowing full well what the answer would be.

“Oh, you know, with great fanfare and celebration,” Logan said sarcastically.

“It will be fine.” Honor said, “They’ll have to accept it, they have no choice.”

“Yes, but it will not be pleasant,” added Logan

“Well, yea, of course it won’t! But you’ve done worse and gotten through it.”

“Ok, we’ll just get it over with and move on.”

“Don’t stress Logan,” Honor assured him, “it will be ok.”

 


	17. On the Brink of Proximity with Nothing to Smoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse of life with Logan and Odette.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Logan and Rory's affair in AYITL really made me angry. I thought it destroyed any progress the characters made in the original series. Then I saw Matt Czuchry's interviews after the show aired. His insights into Logan and his motivations not only made me less angry but also provided the seed for this storyline. I was intrigued by the idea that Logan, despite all his rebellion, still felt the pull to please his family; his inner conflict between of family loyalty vs. following his heart was interesting. I wanted to give Logan full responsibility for his actions, therefore making his decision to propose to Odette his and his alone. I also liked the challenge of writing Odette as not being a bitch. 
> 
> In the end, the idea of Odette and Logan come down to a simple fact; on paper, they were perfect for each other but in reality, they just didn't work. In the end, Logan and Odette are a cautionary tale.

**_On the Brink of Proximity with Nothing to Smoke_**

_April 2016_

_New York_

_It was 2 am by the time Logan and Odette returned to their hotel suite. As soon as they walked in, Odette made a beeline towards the sofa and took off her shoes. She then laid down, allowing herself to relax._

_Having taken off his jacket and tie, Logan sat with her, taking her feet to massage._

_“Oh, merci mon amour.” She said with a slight moan._

_“You’re welcome. That was some party.”_

_“Yes, it was. Did you even know all those people?”_

_“Not at all,” Logan said with a smirk._

_They had just returned from Logan’s Uncle David’s sixtieth birthday. David was Mitchum’s younger brother and a prominent attorney specializing in international law. He was head of the Huntzberger Media’s legal team and well known in the world of international finance. Needless to say, with all his connections, the birthday party was no small gathering.  Logan and Odette spent most of the evening mixing and mingling in “corporate mode” as the gathering seemed more like a networking event than a birthday party. Logan and Odette spent most of the night being introduced and reintroduced to the New York corporate and society set. It was exhausting, but something they had a good amount of practice. For them the conversation of the night focused on two subjects; their jobs and upcoming wedding. “Shira told us about the event, you must be so excited!”_

_“Yes, we are” Logan and Odette would answer the various guests throughout the night. In reality, it was a lie. They were not excited. Getting married on such a grand scale was not their preference, but relented for the sake of the family._

_Luckily for them, there were also enough Huntzberger cousins and friends to form a sub party, in this case in a hotel suite booked by Darby, Logan’s “black sheep” cousin and David’s daughter. This gathering was full of food, booze, and a smattering of weed, cocaine, and X._

,

_“Oh, I can sleep for a week,” Odette stated as Logan continued to rub her feet._

_“Yes, a long sleep sounds great right now. We have been going nonstop for a while. Perhaps we should plan some time off.” Logan proposed_

_“Yes, we need to do that. Too bad it can’t be for now. Remember? We are pretty much committed until the middle of May.”_

_“Well then, let’s plan for May! Gives us something to look forward to.”_

_“Well you know, that rafting trip to Vietnam that your cousin took sounds like fun. I’ve haven’t been to Vietnam, we could maybe work in a side trip to Cambodia also.”_

_“Maybe not Vietnam.”_

_“Maldives? Your mother’s friend’s daughter, what’s her name, Fallon? She invited us to join them on their trip in May.”_

_Logan made a face and shook his head with an emphatic “NO!”_

_“Ok, “ the somewhat exasperated Odette asked, “what would you like to do?’_

_“Roller coasters.”_

_“Excuse me? Roller coasters?”_

_“I was thinking we could rent a car, drive across the US, hitting all the amusement parks and riding roller coasters. We could take a couple of weeks, no set itinerary, just drive to the next park. We could sleep in cheap motels, eat in roadside diners, hang out in dive bars. What do you say.”_

_“It sounds, ah…interesting?”_

_“You don’t like the idea.”_

_“Logan, when have I ever been an amusement park person?  I could barely handle that carnival and circus we brought Charlotte and Theo to last year .”_

_“Yea. Well, no roller coasters, how about we just drive, see the interesting sides of the US. Graceland, Branson, see why Wall Drugs is such a big deal ..”_

_“We could…”_

_“You don't’ sound that enthusiastic.”_

_“Well, it’s just we have so little time, I would like to be a bit more adventurous. Driving across the US does not appeal to me. Rafting in Vietnam? That’s interesting.”_

_“Yea,” Logan said somewhat resigned._

_“I’m sorry. If that’s what you want to do, then we can.”_

_“No, I want you to have fun too. We should consider Vietnam.”_

_“Ok, I’ll start inquiries when we get back home.”_

_Odette smiled, leaned over and gave Logan a quick kiss before rising from the sofa._

_“I’m going to get ready for bed. We are meeting your sister and everyone at noon tomorrow correct?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Ok, are you coming?”_

_“Yes in a minute.”_

_Odette headed towards the bedroom, while Logan sat, collecting his thoughts. The mention of traveling in Asia made Logan think of Rory. They were planning to travel to Asia after he graduated from college trip.  However, being shipped off to London put the kibosh on that idea. He had been to Asia a number of times for various reasons since then, but for some reason traveling there without Rory this time did not sit well with him; it just didn’t seem right._

_Logan could not help but compare Rory and Odette.   While he and Odette shared the same sense of adventure, when it came down to having silly fun, he and Odette had different ideas.  In a way, Odette was more serious than Rory.  Do things off beat wasn't in Odette's wheelhouse.  Logan shook his head as if to rid his mind of that thought. So what if Odette and he didn't agree on vacations?  Not every couple agree on everything.  Yes, there were some ways that he and Rory were more compatible, but Odette had one major advantage over Rory, she wanted a commitment; he proposed and she said yes.   Odette was his fiancée, not Rory. That time had passed. Whatever he and Rory were doing at that moment was temporary, something they needed to work through._ Odette is the future _, he told himself,_ the more you focus on that, the more settled you would be _. He again contemplated breaking things off with Rory once and for all. He resolved to do so the next time she was in London._ This is ridiculous, _he thought to himself._ It’s not going to happen between us, it needs to end.

_However, two weeks later, the moment Rory stepped into his flat, all thoughts of breaking up were immediately forgotten._


	18. Parents' Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan breaks the news to Mitchum and Shira.

**Parents’ Day**

 

January 20, 2017

Darien, CT

 

Logan arrived at Honor’s house early. He hung out with his niece and nephew, Charlotte and Theo, while Josh and Honor cooked dinner (really while Josh cooked dinner and Honor assisted.) Logan brought dessert, four bottles of wine, and a bottle of scotch. It was overkill, but he wanted to make sure. The plan was to lower their parents' defenses by plying them with rich food, glasses of alcohol, and lots of grandchild cuteness. Then Josh would take the kids and slip away for the night at his parents’ house while Honor and Logan dealt with their parents.

Logan’s relationship with his parents had evolved since his college days. While he would not describe their relationship as close or even warm, it had become more respectful. His success with his business in California had much to do with it as it gave Logan the knowledge and confidence that he could make it on his own. Ironically, it was this new found self-sufficiency that allowed him to embrace his birthright. Knowing that he could make choices in his life was very empowering. No longer was he at the mercy of some unwritten obligation.  No longer was he merely reacting to all that there is to be a Huntzberger, but making deliberate choices in what kind of  _person_  he wanted to be.  If his job or situation with his father got too heated, if pressure from his mother became too weighty, he knew he could simply walk away and be ok.  This knowledge on both their parts equaled the playing field, creating a new understanding of the limited influence Mitchum and Shira now had in Logan's life.  

Still, there was that pull, the sense of obligation and duty to keep up with certain family mores. Be it pride, guilt, or maybe a certain need to please, there was a game one had to play in being a Huntzberger. The pull between family and self was not an uncommon dilemma, and Logan was no exception to this phenomena, so he picked his battles.   He couldn’t deny that family loyalty played a role in his decision to continue his engagement with Odette despite his love for and affair with Rory. A commitment was made, and one must always honor their commitments. Invitations were sent, RSVPs were returned, lots of time, energy, and emotion spent on not only the day but the future it represented. Moreover, Odette was in many ways a “proper” match. Even though she spent her life fighting it tooth and nail, she too was one of “them”.   When it came to family matters and that of the public face, Logan and Odette shared an unspoken understanding, and in many ways that made life easier. The daughter of high finance and old Parisian money, combined with her high-profile charity work, and physical beauty made them the quintessential high society power couple, a concept that the Huntzbergers (at least those of the older generation) embraced wholeheartedly.   The “Dynastic Plan” was so much more than their over-the-top wedding, but also the perpetuation of the ideals and image that was both their families. While it seemed archaic and medieval, nevertheless, the pressure to maintain that norm was very real.

But in the end, the heart won, shattering "The Plan”. Logan and Odette followed their hearts, cracking the façade of nobility that many in their families so cherished. His mother, having not only poured so much energy into the wedding itself but also looking forward to building influence on the high society in Paris, was devastated when it was canceled. His father, on the other hand, was not so upset (at least on the surface as Mitchum always played it cool.) The only comment he made since the ending of the engagement was sarcastic remark during a meeting,  “...Yes, well being able to make that goal will be hard, given the people we with whom we have to negotiate.  it’s a shame, that we no longer have strong allies in the French media market.”   So now Logan was delivering another blow to that noble façade. While in his younger more reckless days he would derive some pleasure from doing so, now, given the tenuous state of his relationship with Rory, the task was daunting.  

Sitting down in Honor’s living room, Logan offered his parents an after-dinner drink. It was during this time that Josh took the kids and quietly slipped away to his parents’ house. It didn’t take long for Mitchum and Shira to notice.

 “Where are the kids?” Mitchum asked, “Theo asked me to read to him at bedtime.”

 

 "Oh dad”, Honor said nonchalantly, “I forgot to tell you, they’re having a special night at Josh’s parent’s house.”

 

 Mitchum and Shira looked at each other and then their children.

 

 “Ok, what’s going on? Are one of you sick?” Mitchum asked.

 

 “Why would you ask that?” Logan responded.

 

 “Because we are  _here,_  having a  _family_  dinner.” Shira said, “We never have family dinners here. We always have them at our house and we have drag you kicking and screaming to attend them.”

 

 “No that’s not true,” Logan said defiantly.

 

 “Yes it is Logan, don’t try to deny it.” Shira replied in her signature condescending sing-song voice, “So please, the suspense is killing me, tell us what’s going on.”

 

 Honor and Logan looked at each other. She gave him an “it’s now or never” look. Logan proceeded.

 

 “Well, there are some things I need to tell you regarding my break-up with Odette.” Logan began.

 

 “You mean other than the fact that the little trollop left you for someone else?” Shira asked.

 

 “Yes mother, and please don’t call Odette that,” Logan responded very annoyed.

 

 “What is this insight you have to tell us?” Mitchum asked.

 

 “Odette wasn’t the only one having an affair. I was having one too. For longer than her.” Logan said.

 

 “You were?!?! For how long Logan?” Shira asked.

 

 “Pretty much for the length of our engagement,” Logan responded.

 

 “Well, then it’s good that you didn’t get married,” Mitchum said.

 

 “Yes, it was. However, there is more. The woman with whom I had the affair is about 16 weeks pregnant, and yes I am the father.”

 

 Mitchum and Shira sat quietly obviously dumbfounded.

 

 “Are you sure the baby is yours?” Mitchum asked.

 

Not surprised at this line of questioning Loan responded, “Yes I am.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“Because she said so. She would not lie about this.”

 

Mitchum smirked, “You believe her?”

 

“Like I said,” Logan responded very annoyed, “she would not lie.”

 

“Who is she, Logan?” Shira asked sharply.

 

Logan took a deep breath, “Rory Gilmore.”

 

Mitchum and Shira were, again, dumbfounded.

 

“Richard and Emily’s granddaughter? The girl you were dating in college Rory Gilmore? The girl that refused to marry you, Rory Gilmore?” Shira inquired with growing anger and disgust.

 

“Yes, the very one,” Logan responded mater-a-factly.

 

“So that lunch I interrupted last summer in London. That wasn’t ‘just lunch’.” Mitchum stated.

 

“Nope, we had been together for several months at that point,” Logan replied

 

“So what does she want Logan?” Mitchum asked

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“What I asked, what does she want? Does she expect you to get married now? Does she expect you to take care of her financially? What does she want?”

 

Logan was clearly irritated by this line of questioning.  “She wants nothing, ok? She was prepared to go this alone from the beginning. She told me about it because it was the right thing to do, but there has been no pressure for me to do anything.”

 

“For now,” Shira said sarcastically.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“This is what she says now. She will change her mind, Logan.” Shira said condescendingly, “There is too much at stake with this family for her to pass up an opportunity like this.”

 

“No mom, she is not like that. Anyway, she doesn’t exactly come from a poor family. She can do this on her own.”

 

“A baby changes everything Logan. After she realizes what we can offer her, she will want more.” Shira said

 

“Well, you don’t know Rory.” Logan retorted back.

 

“So what are  _you_  going to do?” Mitchum asked.

 

“What do you think I’m going to do?"  Logan answered incredulously, "I’m going to be a father. I am going to be involved and raise this child like any other father should.”

 

“So this means that you and Rory are getting married?” Shira asked cautiously.

 

“No mother, we are not getting married. We have agreed that we will raise the child together. How this will happen we in the process of working out."

 

Both Shira and Mitchum let out exasperated sighs.

 

“This will not end well Logan. A child needs a stable environment. How is this suppose to happen with a split household?” Shira opined.

 

“Stability is what you make it,” Logan responded.

 

“You know, maybe this is for the best,” Mitchum said surprising everyone in the room.   He was now in problem-solving mode, “No marriage means no other entanglements. We just have to work out an iron-clad custody and support agreement. First thing Monday we should get recommendations on a family lawyer…”

 

“Dad, STOP!”

 

Mitchum looked taken aback.

 

“Mom and dad, I will say this only once so I implore you to  _hear_  me and hear me well. I only informed you of this situation out of courtesy and respect because you are my parents. I, however, did not tell you to seek any help or approval.  I thank you for your concern and hope that you will give us your unconditional emotional support.   Yes, you have had to bail me out in the past, but those days have been long gone.  In the end, this is  _my_  situation,  _my_  doing,  _my kid_. Any decisions regarding this child are strictly between Rory and me and no one else.  If we need your help we will ask for it, but until then, I respectfully ask you to butt out.”

 

And then suddenly the room was quiet, with only the buzz my Logan tirade floating in the air.

 

“Fine Logan,"  Shira responded with a tinge of venom, "if that’s the way you want it. We will, as you say, ‘butt out’. I will say that I don’t like nor do I feel comfortable with this situation.” 

 

“You are entitled to feel as you need to feel mother. I assure you we have everything under control.”

 

“Well, “ Mitchum said in the same tone as his wife, “I guess we’ll have to trust that you do.”

 

 

Later, after their parents left, Logan and Honor conducted a post-mortem on the evening while loading the dishwasher.

 

“Well, that went well.” Honor said with fake enthusiasm.

 

“You think so?” Logan replied with an ironic laugh.

 

‘Yes! You certainly put them in their place."  Honor imitated Logan, " '...I implore you to hear me and hear me well!'   Yikes!"

 

'What am I if not dramatic?"

 

"You know, they are probably formulating their own plan as we speak.”

 

‘Well, they wouldn’t be our parents if they didn’t now would they?”

 

“I guess not.  So, feel better?”

 

“No, not in the least.   I mean it’s good that we got informing Mitchum and Shira out of the way, but that doesn’t take away the fact that this situation is not ideal.”

 

“So what would be your ideal?”

 

“For Rory and me be together and to raise this kid in a real family.”

 

‘Wow, after all this time, after all you’ve gone through, you’re still in love with her.”

 

“Yes, sad isn’t it?”

 

“Yes very sad, bordering on pathetic, and a bit endearing as well. So what are you going to do now?”

 

“I guess now I have to wait it out.”

 

“Ick, waiting sucks!’

 

“It certainly does.”

 

Logan’s phone beeped indicating a text from Rory.  Logan sat down at the kitchen table to read the text.

 

 _Hey, how did it go? s_ he texted

_As well as can be expected. They were upset, no surprise there. No bloodshed, so in the_ _end_ _,_ _all is well._ Logan replied.

_Sorry to hear that._

_No Ace, really it’s fine. They’ll deal.  They just need time to cool off and process._

_Ok..._

_How are you?_

_Oh, good. I think I am feeling some more fluttering. Either that or it’s the steak, egg, avocado, and brown rice covered in gravy burrito that Ceasar made me for dinner._

_Dear Lord Ace!_

_And I washed it down with a mint shake that I swear had zucchini and kale puree_

_Well at least SOMEONE is looking out for you nutritionally. Dare I ask what you had for dessert?_

_An apple_

_Dipped in caramel? Sprinkled with chocolate chips?_

_No, just a plain ‘ole apple._

_I don’t believe you!_

 

_It's true!  In fact, I am eating another one right now_

 

Rory sent Logan an image of a bitten red apple.

 

_Ok, I believe you.  Craving any particular variety?_

_Macintosh._

_Steve Jobs is applauding from Heaven._

_LOL!_

_I have to get back to helping Honor clean the kitchen_

_How domesticated of you!_

_Well, the price you pay for a free meal_

_Ok_

_So, will you be in the city next week? Want to meet for lunch?_

_Yes! Tuesday- Thursday. Pick a day, I have no appointments._

_Great, I’ll text you after I check my schedule._

_Cool. Good night Logan_

 

_Good night, Ace_


	19. The New Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan has settled into his new normal. A visit from some friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song was inspired by Michael Jeter's BRILLIANT performance in "The Fisher King".

**The New Normal**

 

February 2017

New York

 

Rory and Logan met for lunch the next week, and then for lunch again two days later. The week after they met for lunch twice and coffee on the day they did not have lunch. The week after that, lunch once and dinner the next day. After week three it became an unspoken arrangement that they would meet for a meal at least twice a week, with the occasional extra lunch, dinner, coffee, walk or other activity as time permitted.

 

Logan continued to accompany Rory to her appointments, however short they were.   He learned more about pregnancy, labor and delivery, and the workings of the female reproductive system than he ever thought he wanted to know. He had a brief freak out when it came to the genetic testing and was on pins and needles for two days until Rory texted him the results saying that everything was all clear. He started reading parenting books, humorous dad memoirs and even picked up a guide to baby sign language.

 

All in all, Rory and Logan settled into a comfortable routine. They fell back into the familiar rapport that they developed between them all those years ago, going about their business as if there was no break in their time together, with one glaring exception; they never talked about their relationship. Yes, they talked about parenting matters; what kind of life they pictured for their kid, schools, nannies, formula vs. breastmilk, cloth vs. disposable diapers, but as far as them getting back together, the subject was never broached. As much as Logan wanted to talk about it, make some grand gesture to show Rory how he felt, he knew that he needed to hold back. Rory was in not in the frame of mind to deal with those questions and trying to address them would only push her away.

 

So Logan soldiered on, coping with the Rory situation by doing his best to live in the present. He went out with friends, networked with business associates, and attended events. On those occasions where he was required to bring dates, he would usually ask a business associate to “tag along” or invite his cousin Darby. There were those awkward moments where invites were misinterpreted by those he took out, ending with disappointed thank you and chaste kisses on the cheek at the end of the night.

 

It was a Friday afternoon. Logan had an appointment with a Mr. Leonard Durham-Barrons, who according to his calendar, was a representative from a small publishing house in Maine. Logan had no idea who he was nor had he ever heard of the publishing house.  All the knew was that they were to meet in the conference room one floor below.

 

Logan arrived early to his meeting, sitting at the large conference table with his laptop, answering e-mails when Hope, his assistant came in. “Logan, Mr. Durham-Barrons just arrived. He asked me to tell will be here in about five minutes.”

 

Logan acknowledged and thanked Hope and went back to his e-mails. He was about to press “send” when Mr. Durham-Barrons walked in. “Logan Huntzberger, hello, I’m Leonard Durham-Barrons” the gentleman stated.   Logan looked up to see a man dressed in a heavy coat and hat, carrying a large messenger bag.   Logan stood up to shake the man’s hand, inviting him to sit down.

 

“It’s nice to meet you. Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee? Tea?”

 

“Well, there is one thing,” he said.  Logan watch in shock as Mr. Durham-Barrons he ripped off his coat, revealing that he was wearing a short tiered bright orange gown, and put on a feather hat. He ran up to Logan and put a giant pink pirate hat decorated with bright colored feathers on his head and a bright green feather boa around his neck and then pushed him down on his chair.   He then ran back to the front of the conference room, and started performing.

 

_I had a dreeeeaaaaam, a dream of guess who, Logaaaaan._

_It’s all because of youuuuuuuu, Logaaaaan_

_Because it’s your birthday, Logaaaaan_

At this point, Mr. Durham-Barrow jumped up on the conference room table and continued, adding some choreography to his performance.

_Some people would think it’s fun,_

_To spend their birthday one-on-one_

_But not for you Logan dear_

_We’re all going to celebrate another yeeeeaaarrrr_

 

_For you we planned a grand celebration_

_one that will bring just jubilation_

_the type that will captivate a nation_

_to celebrate your 35th station_

_For everything’s coming up Logaaaaannnn!!!!_

_Celebrating his birthday!!!!!_

_Happy Birthday to YOUUUU!!_

_TO YOOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!_

 

Over his shock and thoroughly amused Logan got up to give Mr. Durham-Barrow a standing ovation. Around him, he heard thunderous applause realizing that he was not alone. He turned beet red when he noticed that everyone on the floor was standing outside of the conference room witnessing and videoing this display.  _Oh God_ , he thought,  _I’m going to be on YouTube_. Among the spectators, he noticed three in particular, who he no doubt arranged for this show.

 

Colin, Finn, and Robert.

 

Logan had not seen the three of them since they dropped him off at the airport after their New Hampshire adventure last October. Work, schedules, general “adulting” kept them from getting together as often as they liked.

 

While college friendships have the tendency to lose their momentum after they leave the safe confines of campus, the friendship between Logan, Colin, Finn, and Robert endured. Although Logan often gave them a hard time, he was happy to see them and grateful for their enduring support. During his time in California, they came out frequently to share in the adventures, they were supportive when Logan proposed to Odette and also when they broke up. They were 100% behind and even helped plan that outing that culminated at the B&B in New Hampshire. They were great friends through and through.

 

It amazed Logan that while they all graduated, “matured”, and moved on to take on more responsible tasks that they still maintained their sense of fun and adventure. Colin, who Logan has known practically his whole life, like him went into the family business, ending up at Stanford Law for his JD-MBA and going on the partner track in the family law firm. Robert went on to grad school at the London School of Economics and was now spending his time at an economics think tank in DC. Finn, in Logan’s opinion, got the best deal. Finn’s family owned an outdoor gear company based out of Australia. On the days he was not out hawking his wares he was testing them “for marketing and training purposes”.  

 

“Happy Birthday mate!” Finn said slapping him on the back good-naturedly.

 

“35-years-old, that much closer to collecting social security.” Colin quipped.

 

“35 but still have your boyish good-looks. What is your beauty secret?” Robert added.

 

“You know my birthday was two weeks ago, right? “ Logan replied

 

“Yes, but with Finn in town, we had to find some reason to drink; your birthday just came in handy.” Colin “confessed”.

 

“So, what’s on the agenda boys? What are the plans?” Logan asked, realizing that he needed a mindless night out.

 

Finn replied, “Go home and pack. Bring your winter gear and your passport.”

 

 

Two hours they were on a private plane, making their way to Quebec. A “working holiday” as Finn’s family business was contemplating investing in a Canadian outfitter who specialized in among other things, dog sledding, winter camping, winter sports, and wilderness survival. Finn had arranged for a weekend adventure for the four of them to “evaluate” the value of the investment.

 

They landed in Quebec City, and after quickly clearing customs and immigration, were whisked off about an hour from the airport where they arrived at their destination. After about an hour meeting with Finn’s potential partners and some time getting the boys acquainted with procedure and safety measures, they were off on their dog sledding adventure. One and a half hours and about 20 miles later they reached a lake that had yurts set up for their overnight accommodations. That night they drank scotch and played poker.  The next day they hiked a ¼ of a mile to a waterfall where they spent the mid-morning to afternoon trying their hand at ice canyoning. Three hours later, they packed up their gear and sledded back to the home base and comfortable lodge accommodations. Exhausted from the activities of the 24+ hours, the four of them got settled and slept the afternoon away.

That evening they gathered in the Lodge’s dining room for a late dinner. Steaks all around and fine wine, Logan was happy to have such a great birthday celebration.

 

“God, we are getting old. In our 20's all that activity would have been a warm-up, but we sleep the afternoon away.” Colin complained.

 

“So what do you propose we do? Pile in a car and go clubbing in Quebec and hang out with 19-year-olds? Robert asked.

 

“19-year-olds? That sounds splendid.” Finn responded.

 

Logan continued eating, shaking his head.

 

“So gentleman, how about this for a summer outing? A surfing week off the coast of  Peru? We have some new boards we need to test.  You free?”

 

“When would this be?” Logan asked.

 

“July.”

 

“Yea, I can’t make that.”

 

“It’s February and you already have plans for the summer?”

 

“Yes, I do.”

 

“What? Will you be washing your hair? Does the Dark Lord already have your summer planned? What could possibly be better than a week goofing off in Peru?”

 

“Well, my kid is due the first week of July.”

 

The three of them stared at Logan, gobsmacked.

 

“I’m sorry,” Colin said, “but  _WHAT_?!?!”

 

“I’m going to be a dad,” Logan responded

 

“Sweet Jesus, Odette is pregnant?” Finn asked

 

“No, it’s not Odette.”

 

The three of them were silent, obviously doing the math in their heads.

 

“Nooo,” Robert said, “Rory?”

 

“Yep, Rory’s pregnant.”

 

"But how?" Colin asked

 

"Well Colin, when a man and woman meet and have great feeling for each other..." Finn responded

 

"Oh please Finn, we're in the middle of dinner!"  Robert implored.

 

“So what’s going to happen? Are you guys getting married?”  Colin asked, putting the focus back on Logan

 

“Nope!” Logan replied.

 

“What? You don’t want to?”  Colin asked pointedly.

 

“Rory doesn’t want to.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Finn responded, obviously surprised, “You mean after all that sneaking around, all that you went through, she didn’t want a serious relationship after all?”

 

“It seems that way.”

 

“Wow, it’s usually the guy who pulls that crap.”

 

Logan offered further explanation, “Rory feels that her being pregnant should not be the reason why we get together. She is in full-on work and becoming a mother mode, and not in relationship mode. She is willing to deal with me in terms raising the kid, but us becoming a couple she won’t talk about it.”  

 

“Well, that sucks.”

 

“It certainly does.”

 

“So what are you going to do?” Robert asked.

 

“What can I do? Just let things go where they may. Rory and I see each other fairly often, so it’s not like there isn’t a chance. For now, I am managing my expectations and taking it one day at a time.”

 

Colin looked at Logan, “Goddamit if that isn’t just what a mature father-to-be would say!”

 

“How are we only hearing about this now? What afraid to scare off your friends?” Finn asked.

 

“Hey, it’s not like I have known for long. I found out in late December, 10 weeks after the fact.   It got pretty ugly when she told me;  I was really pissed at her for waiting so long to tell me.  After that, save short text messages, Rory and I weren’t speaking. But we worked it out and we see and talk on a regular basis.  It's not ideal,  but it’s a start.”

 

“Yes, it certainly is.”

 

 The four sat in silence for a minute or two digesting the news.  

 

“Well, then a toast” Colin interjected raising his glass and breaking the silence, “To the birthday boy and father-to-be. Congrats on both counts. Better you than us.”

 

 Logan smirked at his friend’s backhanded compliment.  

 

 “Thank you," Logan replied raising his glass with a smirk, "thank you so much for your support.”


	20. Career Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory settles into her new normal. Mitchum Huntzberger drops by for a visit.

**Career Girl**

 

February 2017

New York, NY

 

“No, you’re  _WRONG_! That argument was based on fake news.”

“No, you just don’t know sound research when you read it!’

"Your sources are Liberal snowflakes who cannot let go of the fact that you LOST!"

"Your sources are paranoid racists rooted in conspiracy theories.  And by the way, we WON the popular vote!"

“You cannot talk about the current political climate without acknowledging the legitimacy of the fear and concern that brought this about.”

“Well, you also cannot talk about the current political climate without talking about what that fear and oppressive climate it has produced!”

“You’re an idiot!”

“You’re an idiot!”

A typical day at work. Rory was in the conference room of MN Designs, gathering her materials to take her leave. The content and design teams just finished their bi-weekly status meeting and, as with every other meeting, her two colleagues Helen (of the content team) and Frank (of the design team) broke out into what has become their customary post-status meeting argument. Nevermind that all the issues had been settled and a plan had been set, nevermind that they both enthusiastically endorsed the plan.  Arguing, it seemed, was part of their creative process.

“It was when they started calling each other idiots that I had to leave,” Rory told Logan as she passed him a napkin.

“Really? I would think that when it would start getting good!” replied Logan.

Logan and Rory were at a neighborhood pizza shop eating a quick lunch. “They launched into argument mode the second the meeting was over." Rory reported, "All the while I’m thinking, ‘you know this was settled. You know that both your concerns and ideas are being addressed in the way that you want it.’ I swear, I think they just argue just to argue.

 “So they are reflecting the media/public discourse of today?”

 “It’s like working with Bill Maher and Ann Coulter, only without the sexual tension.”

 “Ouch! So but the job is still fun right?”

 “Oh yes, loads of fun.” Rory said with a smile, “I’m going to miss it when it’s over.”

The deadline for all content and design has been set for June 2, five weeks before Rory’s due date. While she was grateful that the work would be wrapped up in time for the birth of her baby, part of her was also sad that the job would be over. This was the first time in a very long time that she was excited about her work.

“Do you think they would take you on permanently?” Logan asked.

“I’m not sure. It all depends on the projects that are coming down the pipeline, plus the need for personnel. Remember, I am just filling in for someone who is on medical leave. I can’t take a job that isn’t available.”

“You’ll find something,” Logan assured her.

“Yes, one day at a time.”

Taking a bit of his pizza, Logan changed the subject.

“I won't be able to meet up next week.”

“Why not?  Have some grand plans?”

“I’m going London, leaving Sunday afternoon. When I left I transitioned a project to my replacement. They are nearing the end of the end and need me to help tie up some loose ends. As it turns out, it much simpler for me to fly to London and deal with it in person.  Also, since I am there, I am taking a side trip to Paris to meet up with Odette.”

“Really? Why so?”

“We have some loose ends to tie up as well. Legal and property stuff, nothing too complicated. I could just let the lawyers handle it, but I felt this was something I needed to do in person.”

“Have you talked to her?”

“Yes, we had a good talk the other day when I called her to confirm the meeting.”

“So how is she?”

“She’s doing well. She and Benoit, that’s her fiancée, are getting married in June.” 

‘Wow, that was fast.” 

“Well, when you know you know, right?”

“I guess so. Does she know about the baby?”

“Yes. She said that while it’s a little weird she is genuinely happy for us.”

“That’s nice.” Rory replied, feeling a bit uncomfortable.

Logan again changed the subject.

“So, my mom wants to get in touch with you.”

“Oh no, why?” Rory asked in mock terror.

“Apparently, she wants to throw us a baby shower. I was hesitant about it a first but Honor said that she would help reign her in.”

“Really?  That's surprising."

"She and my dad have decided to embrace this situation without reservation."

"That's both a relief and a little bit scary."

"No doubt."

"So what did you tell her?"

"I told her that I had to check with you first.  It's up to you."

"Well, thanks for placing the responsibility on me!” Rory said sarcastically.

“Sorry,” Logan responded sheepishly.

“So what are our chances of getting out of this?”

“I would say zero. Find a free weekend Ace.”

“Well, the fact that she wants to talk to me personally.  Is this a sign that they've calmed down?”

“Yes, they accepted our situation and I have to say, they are kind of excited. They may not have been the most enthusiastic parents, but they are over the top grandparents. Honor’s kids absolutely love them. They still don’t understand why we are not getting married, though,” Logan added cautiously.

“One event at a time,” Rory responded.

‘That’s what I said.” Logan replied.

 

The thought of Logan meeting up with Odette lingered in Rory’s mind for the rest of the week.  She was feeling uneasy about it, but not really sure why.

“You’re still in love with him”, opined Paris one evening during dinner.

“No, that’s not it. It’s not a “stay away from my man” kinda feeling. It’s more of a fear.” 

“Fear? Really? Of what?”

“Fear that he may not want to come back. Things have been going well between us, and we have a plan moving forward. I just don’t want that messed up.”

“Yes, that and you are still in love with him.”

"Will you still stop saying that?  Yes, I "love" him, but I can't say I am "in love" him."

"Ok, sure,"  Paris said rolling her eyes, "keep telling yourself that sister."

Paris was talking with Rory while simultaneously spooning food onto her daughter's plate and wiping her son's mouth.  Paris continued, "...he is just waiting for you to give him the green light to make an honest woman out of you. That boy has it for you bad.  You know I'm right”

“I am not in the position to think about that right now,” Rory responded, marveling at Paris’ multitasking skills.

“Yes,  but you know that I’m right.” Responded with emphasis.

“No, I don't know that.”

Paris sat down and started eating her dinner, shaking her head in bewilderment over Rory's obtuse thinking.

 

 __________________________________________

The next day Rory was sitting in her office editing copy when a knock came on her office door. “Rory, ” her colleague said, “There’s a Mr. Huntzberger here to see you.”

Rory looked up expecting Logan to walk in the door; only it wasn’t Logan, but Mitchum Huntzberger.

“Rory!" Mitchum exclaimed as he walked in and sat down uninvited, “Sorry to just drop in on you like this. I hope I’m not interrupting something important.”

“Not at all, nice to see you Mr. Huntzberger.”

“Rory, you are pregnant with my grandchild. I think it would be ok for you to call me Mitchum.”

“Ok, well thank you, Mitchum.” Calling him by his first name felt really strange.

“So, how’s it going? I am hearing great stuff about this project of yours. I am excited about the debut.”

“Well, it should be up and running by September. I will be sure that you are on the guest list for the opening.”

“Thank you, I look forward to it. I don’t want to take up too much of your time so I’ll get right to the point. What are your plans for after the baby is born?”

“Can you please be more specific?”

“Where do you plan to live? Do you have a job lined up?” 

“Right now, I am planning to live in Stars Hollow. That’s where my support is.”

“And as for employment prospects?”

“Other than my responsibilities with our local paper, nothing as of yet.” 

“Well, I have an idea to pitch to you.”

“Oh, ok”

“There is an opportunity that I think would be up your alley that is opening up in the PR Team at the headquarters of The Huntzberger Group. It’s specifically in external communications. You would be dealing with the media, government, and other corporate partners. There is lots of writing, not  _Talk of the Town_  pieces, but you would be one of the faces of the businesses if you’re up for it.”

“Thank you for the offer Mr., Huntz…Mitchum, but I am a bit confused,”

“About what?” 

“Confused as to why you would offer this to me. I have zero experience in PR and there are probably hundreds of other people who are more qualified than me to take this job.”

“Yes, well I’ve seen your work. I know you can organize events, you know how to deal with people on various levels, and you can write. Yes, I admit, you are a bit raw, but you also learn fast.”

“Really?! Why do I have the feeling that there is more to this offer?”

“You mean that I have another agenda?  Yes, I do have ulterior motives.“ 

“And those are?” 

“Easy, this is also for my son and my grandchild.”

“Can you elaborate?”

“Sure! For whatever reason, it looks like you and Logan are not getting married. His mother and I don’t understand why, but the situation is what it is and we, ever so reluctantly, accept that. I do know about you and your work history. You do good work, but you have not been exactly steady job wise. Freelancing is brutal. It can be invigorating and exciting for someone who has no attachments, but that is not exactly your situation anymore now is it? I want my grandchild to have stability, I want my son to be able to see his child more than just on the weekends. You working a regular job is key to that future. You could take this job, move to the city, and have a viable family life. We can even arrange for you to live in corporate housing.”

“Of course you can” Rory respond with a bit of sarcasm, which Mitchum picks up on.

“ You know my reputation. I am not offering this to you willy-nilly. I am telling the truth when I say I think you can handle this. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be making this offer. I just feel that taking this avenue solves many issues.”

“Does Logan know about this?”

“No, I went to you first.  If I ran this by him, he would accuse me of interfering, which I am, but I do it out of love and concern."

"I promise to think about it."

"That’s what I was hoping you would say. Take your time. I wouldn’t expect you to start until after the baby is born anyway.”

Mitchum got up to leave, “Thank you for hearing me out Rory.” 

“No, thank you Mr. Huntz…I mean Mitchum, for making me the offer.”

Mitchum exited, leaving Rory with yet another thing to think about.


	21. Circle Breaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan sees Lorelai's family for the first time in years. Logan and Christopher have a frank talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in part a tribute to Lane, the reason I started watching GG in the first place.
> 
> Note: Made a minor change thanks to Tiarat who pointed out to me the capacity of the Bitter End Club. Show how much I know about the NYC club scene.

**Circle Breaking**

March 2017

New York

It was 8 pm Friday night. Rory and Lorelai were in a hotel suite getting ready for a night out. Rory, sporting a small but noticeable baby bump, was dressed stylishly in a colorfully patterned red wrap dress and heeled boots. “That’s so not fair,” said Lorelai when she saw her daughter, “maternity clothes are so much cuter these days. When that become a thing? In my day all we had were moo moos, sailor outfits, or your father’s sweats.” 

‘Well, you could get pregnant too.”

“Or maybe I can just get one of those costume baby bumps that they use on TV shows!”

“That’s an awful lot of effort for clothes you can successfully wear without being pregnant. Besides, you look nice also.”

“Really? Not too old? I don’t want to be one of 'those' women who dress inappropriately, looking like their trying to hard to hang on to their youth.”

“What? And going to a club in New York on a Friday night with your daughter and her friends is not hanging onto your youth?”

‘Yes, it is, but this is a special occasion.” 

Indeed it was. Tonight Hep Alien was playing the Mercury Lounge, one of the music business’ most sought-after venues.  Many well-known musicians and artist have played this club and tonight Hep Alien was joining their ranks.

It had been quite a journey for them. Juggling the responsibilities of the band and everyday family life proved to be a great challenge. While other bands would have given up, Hep Alien soldiered on.   Although Zach’s tour with The VapoRubs brought much momentum and interest, they could not take full advantage because the twins were so little. So they pulled back, and Lane, Zach, Gill, and Brian went on with their lives, immersing themselves in the daily profound (but mundane) while still practicing and playing gigs as time permitted. Yes, playing pop-up gigs at the Secret Bar, street fairs, and open-mic nights when time permitted was not the rock-n-roll dream, but at least they were playing, and to them, that was good for now.

Fortunes turned in July 2016 when Gill received a call from a buddy who worked as a sound engineer.   He had a job for a street festival in Providence and one of the bands backed out at the last minute, so he asked if Hep Alien could fill in. That evening, the haphazardly packed Hep Alien VW bus pulled up to the concert venue where their set received an overwhelmingly positive response, garnering the interest of one particular person, a woman named Eve. Eve happened to be the sister of a Nashville musician who was looking for material to fill in an album that he was working on, and one of Hep Alien’s original songs rang true to her. She sent him a video of their performance, and he immediately got in touch with his producer to work out a plan for possible collaboration.

“And you know who that producer is!?!?!?!” Lane excitedly asked Rory after she broke the news.

‘Who?” 

“Jack White!”

“Noooooo!” 

“YEEEEESSSS!” 

“ _THE_  Jack White? The ex-husband of Meg? Founding member of The Raconteurs? Duets with Loretta Lynn and worked with Beyonce, Jack White?”

 “The one and only!!! You may have to make more room for my kids in that apartment because I am dying, dying with excitement!!”

“Lane, you can’t die. If you do, who’s going to work with Jack White?”

“You’re right, you’re right….Oh My God!!!!!!!”

The collaboration with Jack led to a number of lucrative introductions. Soon Hep Alien and its members found themselves with not only a small loyal following but also being tapped for session work, songwriting, and other collaborations. “We’re not playing stadiums, but are working and creating which really is at the core of what we wanted to do,” Gill stated during a recent interview with  _Guitar_ Magazine _._

It was indeed a great night for friends. Not only were Rory and Lorelai attending the show, but also Luke, Jackson, and Sookie.  April and a group of friends traveled from Boston, and Jess came in from Philly as well. Christopher, looking for a night, out decided to tag along, with Doyle and Paris, Olivia and Moses, and Logan, Colin, and Finn topping off the guest list.

______________________________________________________________

Logan woke up to the sound of his phone ringing.  He looked at his clock; 7:15 pm.  _Oh_ crap, he thought,  _I am running late_.

Of course, this was the week for all hell to break loose ar work.  Issues with the Shanghai office had him up on conference calls all night.   He finally went to bed at 6 am only to have him up again at 8 for a morning of meetings.  He was finally able to leave the office at 2 pm where he went home and immediately fell asleep. He stayed that way until the phone awakened him, with the doorperson telling him that his guests were on their way up.   A minute later, Logan opened the door to Colin and Finn.  “Good morning darling no need to get ready for me.” Finn greeted.  “Sorry was up all night on a stupid meeting and slept all afternoon.   I'll be ready in a few…”  Logan replied.  “No need to rush.” Colin assured him looking around his kitchen, “we'll just help ourselves to.... whatever…”

Logan raced to get ready, psyching himself up for the evening ahead.  Tomorrow Finn was booked on the 7 pm flight back to Sydney and his final night happened to coincide the Hep Alien show.  Rory had been talking about this show for weeks.  She was so excited that after years of hard work her best friend, Lane, was finally getting recognition in the music business. 

Logan was happy and encouraged when Rory invited him to their show.  However, that feeling quickly dissipated when he learned who else was attending. Basically, the majority of her family were planning to be there,  including her mother, stepfather, and father.  Logan had not interacted with them since Rory’s graduation, and then, after all these years, to reappear in their lives by getting their daughter pregnant while engaged to another woman,  probably did not make him their most favorite person.  While he was able to handle his parents, he knew it would be harder with Rory’s parents, especially with her mother.  With his own parents, dealing with them was fairly manageable.  They were his parents after all and so he had a lifetime's worth of experience in handling their emotions about his life.  Rory’s parents were different.  Unlike Mitchum and Shira, he actually liked Chris, Luke, and Lorelai.  Although he had a very rocky start with Lorelai, they were able to arrive at an understanding and even gave her approval for him to propose marriage to Rory. Now matters have changed.  Their respect was important to him and he needed to earn it back.  Logan spent the week preparing for the for the wrath that would come from them.  He was willing to take it, as he had to face them sometime, and him not coming to the show would disappoint Rory, and he didn’t want to do that. 

Logan got dressed and the three of them set off to the show, arriving about ten minutes before the start of Hep Alien's set.  Logan was grateful for Colin and Finn’s presence as they served as s support and buffer for the evening.  They walked into the room to see Rory settled in the center of the club with her group.  Logan recognized Moses and Olivia, Rory's boss, and friends from Yale.  He saw Paris and Doyle talking quietly, which surprised Logan in light of all of the stories Rory told of them and their impending divorce.  Sookie and Jackson, Lorelai's best friends were also there, and he also spotted April with a group of people who he assumed were friends from Boston.  Then there was Lorelai talking with Chris, and Luke talking with Rory's high school boyfriend Jess.   _I hate that guy_  Logan thought to himself.

Logan smiled widely as Rory bounded towards them “You're here!"  She exclaimed excitedly, hugging both Colin and Finn who could not hide their shock over seeing her burgeoning belly. “Oh my God, so it  _IS_  true!” Colin implored.  “No Colin” Rory shot back, “this is a cosmetic bump, the kind they use in tv shows.  This was all an elaborate joke on you.  I think it worked!”  She said winking at Logan.

 “Well Darling,”  Finn interjected, “it time to let everyone know the baby is really mine.  Shall we now runaway love?”

 "Sure, but after the show,” Rory replied with a bit of good-natured sarcasm. 

Rory brought everyone down to the group where she introduced and reintroduced the boys to the Starts Hallow crowd.  Everyone was pleasant enough.  Logan could tell that Luke and Chris were making great efforts to be friendly.  Lorelai,  on the other hand, was quite reserved; friendly and respectful but reserved.

_________________________________________________________

 The show went off without a hitch.  It was a great set, with the band doing three encores.  Afterward, everyone gathered at a pub a couple of blocks away.  It was a place that was frequented by Huntzberger Media employees and therefore familiar territory to Logan, who revealed once they arrived that he bought out the place for the night for an after-party.  Upon hearing the news, Rory gave Logan a knowing smile. 

As Rory sat back and drank in the scene at the after party she couldn’t help but giggle at the confluence people gathered in one room.  At one table was Logan, Colin, and Finn, with Christopher drinking scotch and no doubt swapping boarding/prep school war stories.  At another were Sookie and Jackson having a lively discussion about farming and landscape design with Olivia and Moses, while Jess and Luke were huddled in a corner quietly catching up. Then there was Lorelai, with April and her grad school friends on the dance floor moving and shaking like she was one them. “Desperately holding on to her youth indeed,” Rory thought with a slight laugh at the site of her mother. Rory then joined them.

______________________________________________________________

As the evening settled in Logan found himself sitting at a table with Colin, Finn, and Christopher, swapping boarding/prep school war stories.  At one point Logan looked up to see Rory standing by herself surveying the scene and then walking over to the dance floor to join Lorelai, April and April’s friends.  He smiled at what a terrible dancer she was.  Logan all of a sudden felt slightly uncomfortable and looked to over to see Christopher watching him as he watched his daughter.  Christopher had strange look on his face, one that Logan could not decipher, which made him feel awkward.  He stood up to break the tension,  “Well, I’m going to get another drink.  Does anyone want anything?  Chris, they carry that brand of scotch that I was telling you about.”    Chris passed and, surprisingly, so did Colin and Finn.  Logan excused himself and headed towards the bar.  As he was about to order, Lane and Zach walked up to him.

“Logan, thank you,” Lane said to him with a hug, “This is amazing.”

“Yea man, thanks, I can’t think of a more perfect night,” added Zach.

“No need to thank me, this is my pleasure”, replied Logan, “I'm just happy to say that 'I knew you when'.”

“Yes, it’s a really nice set up here, really nice, a good time for everyone.” Logan heard as Lane and Zach departed to take a picture with some fans.

Logan turned to find Jess standing behind him “Yes, and are you having a good time?” Logan guardedly responded.

“Oh yes, the best. So I didn’t know that you knew the band that well. When did you become best friends?”

“Well, we're not best friends, but Lane is Rory’s oldest friend and the Godmother to her boys so in a way that makes her family.”

“Wow, so generous of you to do this for family-like people.”

“Well, she and Zach have been a great support to Rory, and well I am grateful for their help.”

“So you need help with Rory? “

“I’m just saying that since I am not there all the time, it’s nice to know that she has support.”

“Oh, yes, because she needs to be supervised.”

“I didn’t say that now did I?”

“No that’s not what you  _said_. If there is anyone who can make it on her own is Rory, she can take care of herself.”

“I  _know_ that she can take care of herself. We were together for a long time, even lived together, so I am very  _well aware_ of Rory. In fact, I can say that I know her in ways other people wouldn’t understand.”

“Really now?” 

“Really.” 

Suddenly, Christopher, Lorelai, and Luke showed up at their side. 

“Hey, guys what’s going on?” Lorelei asks. 

“Just having a friendly conversation,” Jess responded without taking his eyes off of Logan.

“Getting reacquainted,” Logan added, matching Jess’ tone and manner.

“That’s great.” Christopher interjected, “Hey Logan,” Christopher continued while looking at Luke and Lorelai meaningfully, “What is that brand scotch you were telling me about? Join me for one?”

  
“Sure,” Logan said. Christopher put his hand on Logan’s shoulder and led him away, finding a quiet table in the corner where Chris sat Logan down.  A minute later he showed up with a glass of scotch and a glass of water.  He handed Logan the water.  “So, would you like to talk about that little incident there?”  Chris asked in a rather paternal voice.

“I hate that guy,”  Logan said.

“Jess?  Yea, he’s not my favorite person either.”  Chris replied.

“Really?”  Logan said, happily surprised.

“He and Rory got into a car accident when they were in high school.  He was driving and she ended up with a totaled car and a fractured her wrist.  Thank God it was minor, but I still can’t quite get over it.  He always has a black mark in my book.” 

“And what about me?  How many marks do I have?”

“About a half a mark.”

“Only half?  That’s pretty good.  So what have I done to merit only half?  I thought my pages would be all black.”

“Well, yes you _both_  are not in the best situation, but you are doing your part so therefore I can’t hate you,” Chris said raising his glass.

“I would do anything for her.”

“You mean like break off an engagement and NOT have an affair with her?”

Logan went quiet.  No matter how much he rehearsed this moment in his mind, he had no comeback for his statement.

“Logan,”  Christopher said after a minute or two of silence, “You can relax.  You are the father of my grandchild.  I am not going to do the whole “shotgun” thing.  Although, I will admit, when I heard the news, I did consider going after you with a baseball bat.”

“Thank you, and I don’t blame you for considering it." 

"Well, I am not going to repeat the same mistakes my father did when I was in this situation.  You both have my full support in this matter."

" I appreciate that.  Does it help that I love her and want to be with her?”

“Do you now?” 

“Yes.  You sound skeptical.”

“Well, given the events and circumstance that led to this pregnancy, can you blame me? Again, if you loved her so much, then why did you sneak around? Why the affair?”

“I was ready to give it all up for her, but she didn’t seem like she was receptive to that.  Did she tell you about our “Vegas” agreement?  I should have just left it alone, but I couldn’t, I just couldn’t.”

“Ah yes, I understand.  You are not the first to succumb to the charms of a Gilmore girl.  You poor sad sack…”

The comment made Logan smile.

“Just one question, “ Chris continued, “are you really sure what you are feeling for my daughter is love and not masked obligation?”

“What do you mean?  Of course, I am.”

“Really?  Are you sure that you are in love with  _her_ , the  _real_  her, and not some idealized version of her that you built in your head?”

Logan again was silent.

“Look, I like you, Logan, you’re a good guy.  Nothing would make me happier than for you and Rory to find your way and become a real solid family.  However, I was you at one point in time.  I too loved the mother of my child.  I spent countless hours thinking about our future together, and you know what happened?  Our marriage, when it did finally happen,  didn’t even last a year.  Why?  Because I loved the idealized Lorelai, not the real Lorelai.  I looked up and she was not the person I fell in love with anymore.  She moved on.  I, on the other hand, spent many good years unable to get close to anyone because I always had the Lorelai option floating in my head; it's no wonder my relationship with Sherry fell apart.    So tell me, Logan, are you not taking chances with other women because of your hope for Rory?l  Were your feelings for your ex-fiancee real or were you just setting the relationship up to fail because you always had Rory in the back of your mind?”

“I really love Rory.”

"Yes, you really show it,"  Chris said, looking around.

"You think buying out the bar was overboard."

"A tad.  I understand the big gestures but subtly works also.  It's the little things that really count."

The two sat in awkward silence and then Chris chimed in.

“What if she doesn’t love you back?”

“I try not to think about it.”

“Oh. but you must.  You have a child to think about.  You know what one of my biggest mistakes was?  Tethering my feeling for Lorelai with my actions with Rory.  When I saw the future, I saw the whole package.  Never once did I consider just Roy and me.  Perhaps things would have been better if I did.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that Rory and the baby, while a nice package, are not the only options.  I intertwined my relationship with Lorelai with Rory, which I realize now was a bad idea.  Rory was her own separate entity and I didn’t work on our relationship as father and daughter until much later.  It wasn’t until after I had Gigi full-time that I realized just how fractured my relationship with Rory really was…”

“So what are you saying, Chris?”

“I’m saying this.  Don’t get so wrapped up in trying to get your relationship with Rory on-track that you lose sight of your child.  What happens if Rory does not reciprocate your feelings?  Will you be able to live with that?  Will you be able to move on?  Would you be able to not let that affect how you feel about and treat your child?  You and I are a lot alike Logan.  We both grew up in similar families, we both had unreasonable expectation put upon us, and you, like me, are having a child without being married.  However, you don’t have to be the kind of father I was or your father was, but to do that you have to put your kid first, not Rory.  Yes, parent together the best you can, but don’t wrap your hoped and dreams around her.   Your kid is the sure thing.  Bet on the kid, not on Rory.”

Again, Logan was silent.

“Am I making any sense here?”  Christopher asked.

‘Yes, Chris.  Yes, you are.  Thank you for telling me this.  You've given me a lot to think about.


	22. Circle Looping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pregnant but reluctant to make a full commitment to the father. Sound familiar?

Circle Looping

 

March 2017

New York, NY

 

“You should have seen the two of them.” Lorelai reported to Sookie the next day, “It’s not like they were threatening each other outright, but it was that overly friendly, overly polite passive-aggressive tone, you know? Like at any minute they were going to pound each other. I felt like if Rory were a fire hydrant they would be peeing all over her”

“Eww, please use another metaphor, now that visual will be permanently etched in my head!” Sookie replied cringing.

“Sorry.  It was just weird. I know that Logan has feelings for Rory, I mean they are having a baby together for Christ sake, but Jess? I thought he was over it by now, but I guess not.

Lorelai and Sookie joined Rory, Lane, and Paris is the mudbath room. It’s early afternoon on the Sunday after the Hep Alien concert. Lorelai, Sookie, Rory, Lane, and Paris are at Spa Tahanan, “researching” their offerings for the Dragonfly Annex. Michele, who networked with the owner when he and Fredrick visited the spa the previous month, arranged the day.   Tahanan was looking to expand, so Lorelai and Sookie were currently negotiating the possibilities of them operating an independent satellite spa at the Dragonfly annex.    

They started with facials, followed by a rain and steam shower. Next, Paris talked them into a cupping session ("I used to think this Eastern Medicine stuff was bunk, but I was wrong. Yes, it is possible." ) and massage, followed by the requisite mani-pedi.

“Thank you, Lorelai for inviting me to this outing,” Paris said when they sat down for their mani-pedi.

“You’re welcome. I’m glad you could join us.”

“So am I. I was climbing the walls at home. If I didn’t get out today I think I would have strangled Doyle.”

“What’s going on with Doyle?” Sookie asked.

“He’s been a bit over the top, hovering like the worst helicopter husband ever. I guess that’s what happens when you decide to reconcile after being on the brink of divorce.

“Overcompensating?” Lane asked.

“And how! He’s so annoying agreeable all the time. Sometimes I say things just to goad him and he doesn’t bite. I just want one argument that’s all then I know we are back to normal. He wants everything to be absolutely perfect, and it's making me batty.”

“It’s sweet, though,” Sookie added.

“Yes, it is. Really I shouldn’t be complaining, there are women out there who can’t get their partners to say ‘bless you” when they sneeze. Anyway, let’s change the subject. Rory, how are you doing these days?”

“Pretty good” Rory answered, “No complaints.”

“Really, nausea is gone? No varicose veins, swollen ankles? Indigestion? Dark circles forming under your eyes? PUPPS rash?

“No.” Answered Rory, a bit scared.

“Well, I’m glad for you and hate you,” said Paris. “How’s Huntzberger dealing? Has Baby Daddy set –up the trust find yet?”

“If you are asking if he is staying involved, yes he is.”

“That’s good to know. I admit I am a bit surprised. He could have gone either way.”

“Well, you don’t know Logan.”

“Apparently not. Still, it’s hard for me to picture Logan as a father. Does he even know which end to put a diaper?”

“Paris! He’s not that dense about kids. He does have a niece and nephew. Anyway, he’s willing to learn. He’s enthusiastic about being a father.”

“Ok, ok, sorry. I’m glad he’s in. You’re going to need him. I mean I was a mess after my deliveries. Doyle was pretty rock solid through all the newborn craziness. I am lucky, there are women out there who can’t get their man to wash a bottle, much less do any heavy lifting when it comes to kids.”

“Or,” Lorelai interjected, “there is no man or partner and are doing everything alone.” 

“Yes,” Sookie agreed, “I don’t know what I would have done without Jackson. He was great after I had our kids. But he came from a big family so everything came naturally to him.” 

“Zach was somewhat clueless,” Lane added, “but he was a fast learner. He read everything he could before the boys were born. Between that and my mom, he did really well.   What he lacked in skill, he made up for in enthusiasm. My mother calls his parenting skills her greatest accomplishment.”

“It will be interesting to see how Luke is with your kid.” Lorelai said to Rory, “He doesn’t overtly show it, but he’s excited. He was pretty good with you.“

“He wasn’t around when I was a baby.”

“Yes, but he was pretty hands once he entered into our lives. Thinking about it now, he was there feeding you, he helped care for you when you were sick. Remember, he helped you move into Yale? He was there as much as he could be.” 

“That's great that Logan is ready to dive in,"  Sookie said.

“Yes, he’s very into the whole fatherhood thing. He’s been to every appointment, we’ve been communicating about the pregnancy, he’s even teaching himself baby sign language,” informed Rory

“Aww, that’s sweet. So what are your plans after the baby is born?”

“Well, The Huntzberger Media grants six weeks paternity leave.”

“Six weeks? Wow, well that’s progressive!” Paris said.

Rory continued, “Surprising, isn't it? Logan says he plans to take it plus two more weeks unpaid leave. I think we will hang out in Stars Hollow for most of it, but depending on how we are after the birth, we might commute between there and New York. We haven’t worked anything beyond the summer.”

 

What to do beyond the summer? That was the question weighing on Rory’s mind later that night as she stared out her hotel suite window.   After the spa and a nice dinner, Paris returned home while Lorelai, Sookie, Lane, and Rory settled back in the hotel. Lorelai, Sookie, and Lane opted to turn in early so they could get up for the early train back to Stars Hollow, leaving Rory alone with her thoughts.

“Hey kid,” Lorelai sleepily said walking out of the bedroom, “can’t sleep?”

“No.” Rory replied, “I still decompressing from the day.”

“Honey, we spent the day at a spa, if you are not decompressed from that experience then something serious is going on."

“The reality of this situation is really dawning on me. That conversation at the spa today made me realize even more that Logan and I co-parenting will be a bit more complex than I thought. I’m going to have to move to New York to make this work because him commuting 4 hours a day to and from Stars Hollow is not realistic. But this means leaving my support system which now is a little scary. Plus, there is also the question about my working, where we are going to live. There so many things still up in the air.”

“Well, I can’t imagine that securing help would be a problem. I mean as far as baby daddies go you hit the jackpot kid.”

“Yes, but having the nanny is not the same as having your mommy and your close friends you know.”

“I know, but you’ll manage.”

“I know, “First World” problems. "

“I have confidence that Logan will take care of things.”

“Yes, and this will sound funny, but I think that’s part of the problem.” 

“How so?”

“Logan is very sweet. I know that he takes great pleasure in taking care of things. But him taking care of  _everything_ makes me feel uncomfortable.  He did a lot of that when we were in college and throughout our relationship last year.   All I had to do was ask and he would give it to me no questions asked. Again, it was sweet and he had no ulterior motives, but in a way, it made me overly dependent on him. I’m not blaming him, but feel like this was a factor in my losing my way. You know what I mean?”

“Yes, I understand,”

“I am trying to be more thoughtful and deliberate in my life. I think that was missing the past few years. I was so busy chasing a dream that I didn’t stop to think about the realities.   I don’t want to do that anymore. I can’t do that anymore.”

“Well that’s good, you are finally trusting your gut.”

“Yes, but my gut isn’t telling me what I want to hear." 

“It never does.”

“Mitchum Huntzberger offered me a job.”

“Rrreeaallly??”

“Yup, in PR. External communications at Huntzberger Media. Salary, benefits, he even offered to put me up in corporate housing.”

“That doesn’t sound so much like a job offer than a bribe or just blatant manipulation.”

“Oh yes, he admitted to that. To his credit, he was adamant in stating his belief that he would not have offered me the job if he didn’t think I could handle it, but his main motivation is to provide me stability so Logan and I could have a 'viable' family life.”

“Huh, well that’s an improvement. Your grandfather offered Christopher and me marriage and a job in the insurance biz. At least you don’t have to do the marriage part...or the insurance part. AND you get your own place!” 

‘So you see it as a trap?”

“It’s a trap only if you make it out to be.”

“It’s tempting, but I want to explore my own options.” 

“And those are?”

“That’s the problem, nothing yet. I have to wrap up my current job before I can concentrate on anything else.”

“Yes, that is smart. Can’t overwhelm yourself, you only end up spinning your wheels. Well, at least there is an option. It’s good to have a fallback.”

“I guess so.”

“I do get it though, the whole 'living your life deliberately' concept. I had that 'Come to Jesus' moment myself.”

“Yeah? When?” 

“When I found out I was pregnant with you!”

“Mom, I know how you felt/feel about having to raise me alone, but how did you know that doing so was the right thing?”

“As you know, before you were born, there was a lot of pressure on Christopher and me to ‘do the right thing’ and get married. Our parents had everything planned for us; where we were going to live, where Christopher was going to work, and all of that. I was very resistant to that. Now, I get it, at least the way our parents saw it. It was the path of least resistance.   I see how following their plan would have made things easy in the onset, but in the long term, it would have been disastrous because that solution wouldn’t have made things right, you know what I mean? Your father and I would have had a comfortable life, but we would have had terrible problems.”

“Yes, I can see that.”

“Anyway, the 'moment' happened in the hospital. Your dad and I were standing at the nursery window. He was seeing you for the first time. He said, ‘Well, so I guess we should get married.’ And it was then that I knew for sure, I was going to be alone. It wasn’t what he said, but the way he said it like he was Patti Hearst joining the SLA. He was surrendering while I was refusing to surrender. You know, up until that point everything I did was in reaction or retaliation to my parents, I was not being deliberate in my decisions about my life. But once that stick turned blue, well I knew that things had to change; that I had to make real decisions, not just follow or react to my parents. If not for me, than for you. I could not bear the thought of you growing up unhappy and oppressed like I was. I could not bear the circle repeating itself. For whatever reason, your dad would not/could not fight, but I was. I think that was what really killed it for us, his lack of fight. There were times, especially in the beginning, when I was angry, but in the end, it was better this way. The Haydens are not exactly the most pleasant people. I can’t imagine Straub being too kind, especially after Christopher did not go to Princeton and failed to fulfill the family destiny. Yes, a mother and father living together, house and white picket fence is the ideal, but sometimes it’s better to go it alone. I don’t regret my decision, Rory, not at all. Anyway, that is not exactly your situation, Logan is fighting after all.”

“Yes, but sometimes I think it would be easier if he didn’t. Just leave us to be.”

“Well if he were not interested then yes, you going it alone would probably be the best. But he is interested, and you owe it to this kid to let his/her father in. I may have raised you alone, but the door was always open for Christopher to come in. I think of April and all the years she missed with Luke. I know they are happy now and they have a great relationship, but they missed out on some really important and cool stuff. I think that is why Luke is going a bit crazy with the presents." 

“Logan’s parents keep asking why we won't just get married.  They don’t understand what is preventing us from doing so.”

“Well, it seems the intended bride in question is preventing.” 

“Yes, and they don’t get it. I would have my whole life set if we got married and they don’t understand why I won’t take it.”

“Well, just because things look good on paper, doesn’t mean it will work in reality. Anyway, why won’t you? You really don’t love Logan?”

“No, I don’t know if I am into marriage. Co-parenting yes, well I have no choice in that matter. Marriage? I’m not sure.  Now that we are in this situation, I feel like I have to be more cautious.  My relationship with Logan this past year was so messed up.  The fact that we carried on the way we did was not healthy.  If it was meant to be, then why did we feel compelled to sneak around?  What was wrong between us that we chose to act the way we did?  I don't want to get back together with him just because I am pregnant, I don't want to compound the situation by making a bad choice."

"Yes, I get that."

"Anyway, you know, I was never one of those girls who dreamed about her wedding day. I was that girl that dreamed of being Christiane Amanpour, you know travel, adventure. I mean sure I thought about it with Dean, Jess, and very seriously with Logan, but there was always something else that seemed more appealing.  There was never a moment when I thought, “Yes, I have to marry this man.”

“This makes me feel sad.”

“Why?”

“Because you don’t see marriage as a positive thing. I feel like this is my doing, that I didn’t set a good example.”

“No, you are with Luke.”

“Yes, but look how long it took for us to get married.”

“Grandma and Grandpa were married for 50 years! They are example enough for all of us. Lane and Zach are going strong. Babette and Morey are still on their honeymoon. They all work, but they fit, like you and Luke fit. I am not sure with whom I fit.”

“Well, if not Logan than who? What about Jess?”

“Jess?” 

“Well, he’s been hanging out an awful lot lately."

“No, really mom, I am not interested in anyone right now. Just me, and little Matilda or Morris here.”

“Ick, Matilda or Morris?”

“Sid or Nancy? Julieanne or Derek? Bonnie or Clyde? Jonathan or Drew?”

 "I think you have to search Nameberry again."

 


	23. Saintly Sinner Logan Huntzberger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan encounters the social fallout of his present situation. Some background on Emily!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When it comes to unplanned pregnancies, men and women are treated differently even though they are equally responsible. Why is that?

Saintly Sinner Logan Huntzberger

 

April 2017

New York, Upper East Side

 

Logan sighed in relief as he reached the end of the loop. Looking for a change of scenery, Logan decided to hop the A train from his Tribeca neighborhood uptown to run the Central Park Loop.

 

After his run he ducked into the first café he saw to get a morning coffee. As he walked from the counter, he spotted Honor and Darby sitting at a table in the corner. With his coffee in hand, he approached his sister and cousin. “Hey” he called to them. Darby and Honor looked towards Logan’s direction. Their eyes grew wide and they instantly tried to wave him off mouthing, “go away” and “leave”. Logan was initially taken aback, but then suddenly heard a voice from behind which told him why Honor and Darby were acting so strangely.

 

“Hello, Logan.”

 

Logan instantly put on his polite “family” smile and turned around.

 

“Hello Aunt Susan”, He greeted with a kiss on the cheek.

 

Aunt Susan was his Uncle Dave’s wife and Darby’s mother. A Grand Dame of the Manhattan social scene and his mother’s best friend and confidant (the two bonded over the trails and tribulations of being “regular” girls marrying into the Huntzberger craziness.)

 

“Hello, Logan, what a nice surprise to see you. Do you live up here now?”

 

“No, just happen to be in the neighborhood.”

 

“How fortuitous. Logan these are my friends Delia Spencer and her daughter Audrey.   Ladies this is my nephew Logan.”

 

Logan and the ladies commenced the with pleasantries. They informed Logan that they, along with Darby and Honor, were planning an Alumnae event for the Beardsley School and were in Manhattan today scouting out locations. Talk revolved around the event, they people expected to attend, the money they were hoping to raise. Soon though, things turned to personal matters, namely Logan’s personal matters.

 

“So Logan dear, how are you doing? I feel like we have not had a chance to talk the last few family get-togethers.”

 

“Life is motoring along well Aunt Susan,” Logan said, giving Honor and Darby knowing looks.

 

“That’s great. You know girls, Logan is about to become a father.”

 

‘So we heard. We got the shower invite. We’re just so excited for you.” Delia said.

 

“Well, Rory and I look forward to seeing you,” Logan replied.

 

“So, Rory? Rory Gilmore is that right?” Delia asked, “Is she the daughter of Richard and Emily Gilmore?”

 

“Granddaughter actually.”

 

“We’ve been to a few occasions at their house in Hartford.” Susan reminded Delia, "Those salmon puff she always served were divine.” 

 

“We haven’t seen Emily in a while,” Delia remarked.

 

“Well she has taken some time since her husband’s passing, so I hear. She’s moved to Nantucket, yes?” Susan inquired

 

“I think so,” Logan answered, although not entirely sure.

 

“Well, it’s not surprising,” Delia said rather dismissively.

 

Feeling a bit taken aback by the comment about Emily, Logan was about to ask for a further explanation when Audrey broke in, “So Logan, do you live in this neighborhood?”

 

“No actually Tribeca. I went running this morning. I thought I’d run the park for a change of scenery.”

 

“Tribeca? Audrey was looking for a place in Tribeca, weren’t you dear?”

 

“Yes, Mother,” Audrey answered somewhat embarrassed.

 

“Audrey is on the partner track of her law firm. She’s a graduate of the JD/MBA Program at Yale. Didn’t you go to Yale Logan?”

 

“Yes,” Logan responded, “for undergrad.”

 

“Did you love it there? Audrey just loved it there, didn’t you dear.”

 

“Yes,’ Audrey responded looking at Logan apologetically, “Yes I did.”

 

The conversation went painfully went on for several more minutes before Honor finally came to the rescue, “Look at the time, we need to go or we will miss our first appointment.”

 

Logan stood up with everyone and walked with them outside. He waited with them until their car arrived, saying his goodbyes to everyone.

 

“Well,” Audrey said, “I’m going to be taking off too.”

 

“Oh, so you’re not going with them?” Logan asked

 

“Oh, no I was just here for the coffee. I’m an Exeter Alum.”

 

“Gotcha,” Logan said good-naturedly.

 

Delia hugged her daughter goodbye and then stood between her and Logan. “You know, you two should get together for coffee or dinner. Really you have a lot in common. Audrey dear, why don’t you give Logan your card.”

 

The horrified Audrey just looked at her mother.

 

“Sure” Logan chimed in, desperately just wanting to get this encounter over with, “ I would love to get your contact information.”

 

Audrey handed Logan a card. Satisfied with her work, Delia got into the car and drove off.

 

Audrey and Logan stood looking at the car as it drove down Fifth Avenue. “Well, this was fun,” Audrey said, not looking at Logan and somewhat embarrassed.

 

“Yes, it was,” Logan replied.

 

“Well see ya.”

 

“Take care.”

 

With that Logan turned and headed back to the train. As he was about to enter he finished his coffee, open the lid and stuck the business card in empty cup before throwing it in the garbage can.

__________________________________

 

The next morning Logan called Honor, who spent the first 5 minutes of the conversation laughing about their café encounter. “The look on your face when Aunt Susan came up behind you was priceless.” She reported.

 

“Yes, I am so happy that my unpleasant surprise has provided you with so much entertainment.”

 

“You’ve survived worse.”

 

“Barely.

 

“So I saw Delia was trying to push you and Audrey together. What happened after we left?”

 

“Nothing. She was thoroughly embarrassed so we just left.”

 

“Delia was pretty forward.”

 

“It’s weird. She is fully aware that I am about to become a father with another woman, and she tried to forge some love connection with her daughter?”

 

“Well, yea, but even one of the Menendez brothers has a wife, so you never know.”

 

“Don’t you find that strange? You would think my situation would be a drawback.”

 

“Yea, well some people don’t see it that way.”

 

“How so?”

 

“Do you really want to know? Do you really care?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Look, if were just me I wouldn’t care. But this affects Rory and my kid. I need to be prepared, so tell me.”

 

“Well, some people see your situation as being admirable, even somewhat saintly, which in their eyes makes you more attractive.”

 

“Saintly?!”

 

“Yes!! Your broken engagement caused quite a stir. Mom and Dad official explanation was that you both called it off mutually because “it just wasn’t right.” Well, you and I know such a simple explanation as not acceptable, so people began to speculate.”

 

“What did they say?”

 

“There was a ‘Team Logan’ and a ‘Team Odette’ if you will. Some believed that the break up was your fault, given your past reputation. Others thought that Odette, being French and all, had a fluid idea of monogamy. It went on overdrive when you moved back to the States. People saw it as you running from a scandal that you either suffered or caused. The gossip eventually died down, and then the baby shower invites came out and gave it new life. Now it’s all about Rory and whether or not she got pregnant on purpose. Some see Odette as the poor jilted fiancée and Rory as an opportunist. You, on the other hand, are either the sinner or a saint.”

 

“And how is that?”

 

“Well ‘Team SInner’ says that you are getting what you deserve. You tried to play both women and now you are being saddled with a kid. While ‘Team Saint’ sees you as a victim of sorts; you made a mistake and doing the noble honorable things by living up to your responsibilities.”

 

“Let me guess Aunt Susan’s friend is…”

 

“Team Saint.”

 

“Oh dear God.”

 

“Well…”

 

“…And I detected some snark when Emily was mentioned. What’s going on there?”

 

“Well, as I understand, Emily had a bit of a meltdown last fall. Something about a DAR meeting where she started raving that everything was bullshit, then she started throwing cookies at an applicant and the board before walking out.”

 

“Wow!”

 

“Oh yes. Mom said that she keeps in touch with a few people, but has pretty much removed herself from the social scene. Instead now spending her days whale watching in Nantucket.”

 

“Rory did mention something about her becoming a docent at the Whaling Museum.”

 

“Well, I think Emily as well her mother, are part of why there is so much more controversy around Rory.”

 

“How so?”

 

“There's the fact that Rory’s mom was unmarried and sixteen when Rory was born. Something about apples not falling far from trees? Also, it seems that broken engagements are not unusual among the Gilmore women because apparently Richard was engaged before, and I quote, ‘Emily swooped in a spirited him away.’ “

 

“Go, Emily!”

 

“Apparently, many felt the first fiancee was much better suited for Richard than Emily.”

 

“How was that?”

 

“The first fiancées  was from a  well established, well-liked old money family, while Emily’s family was new money, so many saw Emily and her family as being social climbers and the marriage being just a stepping stone.”

 

“And people see Rory as being the same.”

 

“Well, the stories are shockingly similar.”

 

“Except Odette was going to break up with me anyway because she found someone else.”

 

“No one really knows that bit of information.”

 

“I can’t believe this.”

 

“Well, what can you do? I mean really do you even care? It’s not like you or Rory live in their world.”

 

“I don’t care if they talk about me, I’m used to that. I hate anyone talking smack about Rory or our kid. It’s none of their business. You know, this would have just died down if Mom didn't’ stir the pot with this shower. I should have put a stop to it at the start.”

 

“I don't’ think it’s fair for you to put this all on Mom.”

 

“Really? Are you taking her side? This is a surprise.”

 

“You know why she is throwing this shower?”

 

“To save face?”

 

“It may seem that way, but really she is doing it for the baby.”

 

“What?!”

 

“Listen, Logan, I can go on for years about what crappy people our parents are, but when it comes to the grandchildren, mom and dad are no joke. It’s weird but true. After you told them mom and dad agonized about how to handle the news, not because they were concerned about the controversy…ok yes, they were concerned about the controversy, but mostly they did not want it to seem that they were embarrassed about the baby. The last thing they wanted was for people to think that they were ashamed.  Really, Logan, their excitement is not fake.   They figured they would just get ahead of the story, own it, be the proud grandparents and spare the kid even more controversy.”

 

“It makes them look good taking the high road,”

 

“Yes, but by getting ahead of the story, it gives them the power to spin the story in their favor, thereby protecting your kid. Logan, you should know how vicious these people can be.”

 

“It makes me wonder why we even associate with them.”

 

“They are a necessary evil to the continued success of the family. Don’t like it? Move to a cabin in the woods.”

 

“Ok.”

 

“Can I ask you something? How would you have handled it? I mean letting people know about the baby?”

 

“I don't’ know. I just would have let people know when it was necessary to know. As far as I am concerned, all the important people have been informed, the rest can go fuck themselves.”

 

“Ok”

 

“Why do you ask?”

 

“I’m just making sure that your feelings about this have not changed.”

 

“No Honor, my feelings have not changed. The circumstances may not be ideal, but I am happy, I am happy that I am having a baby with Rory.”

 

“Well, then nothing else matters.”

 

“Yes, nothing else matters.”


	24. Virgin Whore Rory Gilmore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory's pregnancy becomes public. Wisdom from Lane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA, the Rory is human chapter.

**Virgin Whore Rory Gilmore**

April 2017

Stars Hollow

 

April 15, 2017. Saturday, Tax Day. Rory, who was well into her third trimester, was staring out the window watching the people in the square as they prepared for the tomorrow’s Easter festivities. The annual Easter egg hunt and all that accompanied it always invoked wonderful feelings in Rory. She recalled the many years she and her mom spent running around the square looking for eggs and overdosing on Easter candy. Moments such as these made Rory excited for the memories and rituals she would create with her own child.

The winter thaw brought the shedding of heavy sweaters, coats, and scarves, making Rory’s pregnancy more apparent. While it was not a state secret, it was not something that was formally announced either. In Rory’s mind those who needed to be in the know, knew, while others would find out in their own time.

Babette and Morey found out this past February when Rory was at their house helping them set up for their annual Valentines Day celebration. Babette noticed that Rory was avoiding the “Love Punch” (Founders’ Day punch served in solo cups decorated with heart stickers) and other alcoholic drinks. “Why aren’t you drinking sugar? Are you pregnant?” Babette joked after Rory turned down a glass of punch for the third time. “Well, yes I am. Going on week # 18.”

“Huh?”

“I’m pregnant Babette.”

“What?!?! With a baby? A real baby?!?”

“Yes Babette, a real baby.”

“Mooorreeeey!!!!

 

Rory, worried that her news would be the talk of the party, was pleasantly surprised that despite the small crowd of close friends and neighbors, the subject of pregnancy did not come up once. However, that did not mean that the topic died down. Thanks to Rory’s work schedule, she did not have much contact with Babette, Ms. Patty, or anyone else in Stars Hollow outside of Lorelai, Luke, or Lane and Zach, so the brunt of the questions fell to Lorelai. “OMG, Babette is going nuts over this situation of yours. I swear every day there is a new concern or piece of advice she wants me to relay to you.” Lorelai complained on the phone.

“What is it today?” Rory asked, half-laughing.

‘She wants to know if your insurance covers home births. Just in case you have a phobia of hospitals.”

“You can assure her that I am having this baby the old-fashioned way, in a hospital connected to monitors with tons and tons of drugs, and yes, my crappy insurance covers at least 1⁄4 of it.”

“That’s my girl...”

“So what does she know anyway?”

“Well, she knows that you are pregnant. She knows that Logan is an involved and enthusiastic co-parent and that you are excited about this event.”

“So does this mean the whole town knows?”

“Oh yes, the whole town knows.”

While she knew that the people of the town were aware of her news, she was caught off guard by having to deal with how people felt about it. Kirk would not let Rory carry anything heavier than her purse, and Andrew kept handing Rory baby books everytime she walked into the bookstore. Miss Patty kept trying to drag her into belly dancing class (your abdomen will thank me, she reasoned) while Taylor would launch into the soliloquies about family and the importance of marriage to the fabric of a strong society whenever she was in earshot. However, the most disturbing was a conversation that she overheard while shopping for snacks at Doose’s market.

“It’s true, she IS pregnant!”

“She’s not married, right?”

“No, she’s not. I heard the father is some rich guy who lives in New York named Logan Huntzberger. Apparently, he's some publishing heir.”

“How do you know this?”

“When I learned his name I googled him. Honestly, I can't blame her for getting together with him.  He's pretty hot.”

“Hope  _he’s_ not married.”

The other person said with a snicker.

“No, but he was engaged. At least that’s what I read in  _The New York Times_.”

“Did she break up that couple too?”

“Who knows??

"I thought she was supposed to be some great success?"

"What single, pregnant and living above a newspaper office is not 'successful' ?"

"How the mighty have fallen huh?”

Rory immediately exited the store and made a beeline to Lane’s house. “So what have people been saying?” Rory asked Lane as sat down in Lane’s living room.

“Saying about what?” Inquired the confused Lane.

“About me? About my pregnancy?”

“Huh?”

“I was in Doose’s and I heard overheard two people talking about me. I heard 'Is she married?', 'I heard the father is some rich guy who lives in New York.' And 'is he married? No, he was engaged' and 'How the mighty have fallen.'  _The mighty have fallen_? What the hell is that?!?!”

“Ok, ok. Yes, you have been the subject of some talk around town, but if it makes you feel any better, you have been gossiped about no more or no less than anyone else.”

“Wow, well that’s comforting.”

“Well, this is a small town.”

“I just don’t understand, why does anyone care anyway?”

“Rory, come on, you are not that naive. You are not going down the traditional path in life, of course people are going to talk! Haters are everywhere. You are a journalist, you should know that.”

“You know, it’s one thing about my work, but this is about my personal life. And what is this ‘mighty have fallen’ crap?”

“Well, you know, you were the brainy book nerd in high school. You never got in trouble, you never followed the crowd. You also went to Chilton, graduated from Yale, and went off to be a journalist. You were... _are_ held in pretty high esteem, so naturally, there are people who will take pleasure in seeing you in any sort of crisis. They talked when that situation exploded with Lindsey and Dean.”

“They did?”

“Oh, yea.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Well, you weren’t around to hear it. Anyway, it wasn’t everyone, just a small band of people who have nothing better to do than celebrating other people’s misery because they have no lives of their own.”

“I still don’t like it.”

“Oh I know, I remember how it was.”

“ _You?_ And what did you do to garner such hatred, my friend?”

“Well, I had the  _audacity_ to get pregnant during my honeymoon. You should have heard the talk when people got wind I was pregnant so soon after the wedding. It was all 'Yes she got pregnant on her honeymoon, riiiight.' We had the shortest engagement in history, so, of course, that added fuel to the fire. ‘There goes the religious girl, married to save her honor.’ Oh, it was awful.”

“How did you deal?”

“Well, I had the truth on my side and the people who really counted in my life didn’t care. Plus, once Momma got wind of it, she ripped them a new one and after that, the talking stopped. Who needs Clemenza when you have Mrs. Kim, you know? After a while, I was old news. I learned from that experience that you can’t sweat the opinions of idiots.”

“You know, I think what upsets me the most is that this is about my pregnancy, and therefore implicates my kid. I don’t like the feeling of anyone having any sort of negative feeling towards my baby. Really, that’s what gets me. The thought of them even thinking anything negative about my kid makes me want to go after them with a barbed wire wrapped bat.”

“Well, welcome to the pride Lion mom. Look, don’t let them get to you. You have nothing to feel bad about.”

“That’s not entirely true.”

“Elaborate?”

“Lane, I was seeing someone else. Logan was engaged and on the brink of getting married. I was awful to Paul but we were not engaged. But, Odette? The fact that she was also with someone else got us off easy. Imagine if she were fully committed? That’s an awful thing to do to another woman. I mean talk about violating the ‘Sister Code’!"

Rory got up to walk around.

“And then there is the question of why I started seeing Logan again in the first place. It was so easy Lane, it was so easy to slip back into life with Logan. I tried to keep it casual, but who was I kidding? There is no such thing as casual when it comes to Logan.”

“So what, are you saying that you want him back?”

“No, I am not saying that at all. We’re parenting together that I can do. But as far as us getting back together, I don’t know. He took care of me you know, having him in my life allowed me to hide. Being with him was sort of like a drug? My escape from…me. When we reconnected I was feeling like such a failure. I had so much invested in the idea of me being a journalist. I had such a clear idea about where I thought I would be by the time I was thirty-two. Nothing, none of it turned out as planned. And now look at me, all these opportunities, all these people who made sacrifices for me and look what happened? I am single, pregnant, no permanent job. I am a great disappointment."

“Hey, stop, right now!!! You made choices, no they were not the best, but you were in emotional turmoil. Yes, that's no excuse, but it is also a viable reason. Does that make you a monster? No! Does that make you human? Yes! Do not berate yourself about this Rory, do not play into the hands of the virgin/whore dichotomy. You are a fully actualized human being capable of both good and bad.  Years from now you will look back on this time and it will merely be a blip on your radar. For now, embrace it, hell, own it, and screw everyone else!”

Rory looked at her friend with great admiration.“How did you become so wise?”

“It’s all that time hiding in my closet with my lava lamp and disco ball contemplating Madonna.”

Rory hugged her friend, “Oh Lane, what would I do without you...”

Later that night Rory couldn’t sleep, so she got up and googled Logan and Odette. She waded through a bunch of articles in French until she found the engagement announcement in  _The New York Times._ Although she had seen pictures of Odette when she found them tucked away on one of Logan’s desk drawers (he was always conscious of putting away pictures when Rory visited) she had never really considered her as a whole. She looked like a young Penelope Cruz. The picture in  _The Time_ announcement was a more formal picture than the ones Logan had, no doubt taken during one of her charity events. She and Logan were both dressed to the nines, looking like the perfect high society couple. It was strange, Rory thought to herself, that the relationship chronicled in this announcement would implode within a year and that the bride-to-be would soon be set to marry someone else, while the groom-to-be would be having a baby with another. She considered herself, always the planner, always cautious, always sensible, and how all of that went to hell the past five years. Despite all the planning and working, life can change so quickly. It reminded her of a magnet Mrs. Kim had on her refrigerator that stated, "We plan, God laughs."  _Well if there is a God_ , Rory thought,  _s/he must be having a hilarious time with me_.

As she stared at the picture of Logan and Odette, and thought about her life, especially the last two years, and all the twist and turn that brought her to this moment. Rory found herself asking aloud, “Would I trade where I am now for another outcome?”

Rory then smiled when she heard herself answer, “No”.


	25. Fathers' Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spurred on by Doyle, Rory and Christopher have a heart to heart talk. Luke also has a surprise for Rory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always wondered about Rory's relationship with the Haydens. This is sort of their origin story.
> 
> “Never be envious of what someone else has.You don't know the price they paid to get it, and you don't know the price they are paying to keep it.”
> 
> ― Stephan Labossiere

**Fathers’ Day**

 

May 2017

New York

West Hartford, CT

   
It was a beautiful spring day in New York.  Rory was sitting on a bench in Madison Square Park waiting for her lunch companion to arrive.  The last two weeks brought an unusual lull at work.  With the all the copy written and interviews taped and edited, Rory and her colleagues were waiting for draft results from the design team.  While annoying for some, after five months of constant activity, Rory welcomed the short break.    
  
The break meant that Rory could concentrate on other matters, namely her book.  It had been a while since she spent any real time on the project.  After furiously writing for ten straight chapters, Rory found herself hitting a wall.  Not just blocked but a full-scale writer’s fortress.  Jess tried to help by getting her manuscript to a couple of editor friends, but their notes did not ring true.  One editor told her to keep digging, encouraging Rory to “unearth” Lorelai's more sinister side, “No one could go through all that emotional drama and not feel the least bit vengeful, ”  he wrote in his notes.  “Ugh, yes they can.” Rory thought to herself as she tore up the note. The other editor thought the story worked better as a work of fiction. “Try working your anecdotes into a story, sort of like  _Grey Gardens_  meets  _Rosanne_ , meets  _The Odd Couple_."  Not quite, Rory thought, as she ripped up that note as well.    
  
It was during dinner with Paris and Doyle that inspiration hit her.

“Doyle," she asked,  "could you read my manuscript?”  

“Me? Really?” Doyle responded with surprise.

“Well, you edited me before, you know me, my work, my style.  Why not?”

“Ok, I’ll give it a whirl.”  
  
Rory e-mailed the manuscript that very evening and now a week later they were meeting to discuss it.  
  
“Hi there,”  she said as Doyle approached her.  After the customary hug and kiss greeting, they got their lunch and dove into the book.

“First off” Doyle opened, “really really good.  Boy, that mother of yours is one brave kooky lady.  I love a woman with moxie.”

“Thanks, that’s what I was aiming for.”

“And your Grandma?  What a hoot!I Looooved the part when she went nuts after your great-grandmother died.  Her Tennessee Williams moments had me in stitches.”  Grabbing an imaginary glass and holding an imaginary cigarette and mojito, Dole imitated Emily saying, “Well, more for me…”  
  
Doyle continued, “Lots of great stories, wonderful lessons there about family, strong women making it in the world, just one glaring deficit.”  
  
“What’s that?”

“There not enough of  _you_  in it.”

“What do you mean?  This story is about my mother and me.  I am writing the book for God’s sake”.  
  
“You talk a great deal about your mom, but you are not an equal player.  This book is called  _Gilmore Girls_ , not  _Gilmore Girl_. You had the intention of writing a book about the both of you, but in the end, it’s uneven.  We know nothing about you.  How did it feel to be raised by a single mom?  How do you feel about your father not being around?  How did the fact that you are best friends first and mother and daughter second affect the way you see the world? Those points are important, very important.  You paint a perfect picture here.  Even the messes you write about are perfect messes.  The characters you have are fun but flat.  Audiences these days are into authenticity, they don’t want beautiful messes anymore, they want the blood, guts, and emotion.  This you have here is too well packaged.  It would have worked maybe 15-20 years ago, but today times are different.”  
  
“So ugly messes, not beautiful messes.”

“Ok, maybe not ugly messes.  How about honest emotion?”

“And that will bring dimension to my book?”

“Yes, in my honest and humble opinion.”

“How am I suppose to do that?”

“I don’t know.   Go with your gut Gilmore.”

“Ha, ha. Thanks.  
  
“You know, this story could also work as a play or even a TV series.”

“Really?”

“When I was reading it I could see the scenes playing out clearly.  I  even had it cast: Maura Tineary as your mom and Mae Whitman as you.  Bonnie Bedelia and Craig T Nelson as your grandparents.”

“And who, pray tell,  would play Luke?”

“Ray Romano or that guy from Six Feet Under!”

“And Paris and you? “

“I don’t know, Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds?”

“My mom and I talk pretty fast and have a lot of inside jokes.  In a book at least you can read and reread at your own pace, but on TV? I don’t think a TV audience could keep up, nor is ready for that kind of madness.”

“Suit yourself.  But if you want, I can pitch it the next time I am in Tinseltown.”

“That’s’ ok.   Thanks, Doyle, you’ve given me a lot to think about.”  
  
  
The following Saturday evening Rory arrived at Christopher's house for his 49th birthday party.   This year he opted for a quiet celebration of  “dinner, cake, conversation, and games with my girls." It has been a while since she’s been to Christopher’s house.  After Christopher and Lorelai’s divorce, he decided to stay in Connecticut so he could look after his mom and be near Rory.  
  
Rory was looking forward this evening.  Her meeting with Doyle had her thinking about ways to beef up her book, and she realized that one of the holes that she needed to fill was finding clarity with her dad.  Late last year, about two or three days after she found out she was pregnant, Rory met with her father to gain some insight on how she was to deal with her pregnancy.  The meeting left her with more questions than answers.  Tonight was going to be different.  _Hopefully_ , she thought,  _I can finally get those answers._  
  
That was if she could get her father alone.  Walking into the kitchen she found not only Gigi but also Francine, Christopher’s mother.    
  
“Rory!!”  Gigi cried as sauntered over to hug her sister.  Rory marveled at how grown-up she looked.  
  
“Hello Rory,”  Francine said pleasantly.  
  
“Hello Mrs, Hay… I mean Francine.  It’s been a long time.”  Rory responded.  
  
“Yes, it has.  I think the last time we saw each other is right after Straub died.”  
  
“That long huh?”  
  
“Way too long.  So how are you?  You look absolutely glowing.”  
  
“Thank you.   I’m a week into my third trimester, so I feeling tired again.  Not the exhaustion of the first trimester, just tired from the weight.”  
  
“Oh yes, I remember well.”  
  
“Really? It’s been a very long time mom,”  Chris interjected.  
  
“There are some things one does not forget.”  Francine shot back with a wry smile.  
  
“Well everybody hungry?  Mom and Gigi cooked enough food to feed an army.”  
  
“You cooked?”  Rory was surprised.  
  
Gigi replied, “Gran and I are taking a cooking class.”  
  
“I’m ashamed to say, short of making toast and boiling an egg, I never learned to cook.  Gigi bought me classes for my birthday and we’ve been going together for a couple of weeks now.”  
  
“Sounds like fun.”  
  
“It is! Just, please don’t judge us too much by our cooking.”  
  
The evening meal consisted of a baby green salad, vegetarian Lasagna with garlic bread, and cake and ice cream for dessert ("I bought the cake, I didn’t want to push it."  Francine confessed.)  
  
After dessert came after dinner drinks (Port for the “grown-ups” and sparkling cider for Rory and Gigi) and a strangely competitive game of Cranium.  Afterward, more desserts and drinks and more conversation.  Topics such as the Trump Administration, the mannequin challenge, and leggings as pants phenomena were discussed.  Francine added by telling the girls funny stories of Christopher when he was a kid.  At one point Rory mentally stepped back and marveled at how comfortable she was hanging out with her family that she never really knew.  
  
Before they knew it, it was midnight.  
  
“Mom, why don’t you stay the night?  You to Rory.  There’s no point in driving home.”  Christopher said.  
  
The four of them started tidying up before going to bed.  While putting the dishes in the washer, Francine approached Rory. “Rory, I have an early appointment tomorrow, so if I don’t see you I wanted to say goodbye.”  
  
“Well, it was great to see you, ”  Rory said with a hug.  
  
“Rory, and there is no pressure, but I was wondering if you would like to meet for lunch sometime.”  
  
“Yes, I’d like that very much. I am in the city Tuesday through Thursday, but am in the area on the weekends.”  
  
“How about brunch next week?”    
  
“That will work”  
  
“Ok, I’ll get your number from Chris and call you about the details.”

"I look forward to it!"

"Me too."

“Good night Rory,”  Gigi said with a hug before going to bed.  
  
“Good night Rory,”  Francine said too.`

The two went upstairs, leaving Christopher and Rory alone.

“We only have one guest room, but you can take my room if you want,” Christopher informed Rory  
  
“No, it’s ok.  I’ll take the couch in the study.  It’s very comfortable.” She replied.  
  
“So, how are you kid?  You’ve expanded quite a bit since last I saw you.”  
  
"Yes, I have.  This one is active too.  Kicks me at the most inopportune moments."  
  
"Well, this is Lorelai Gilmore’s grandchild after all."  
  
"And how would this kid be is s/he were Christopher Hayden’s?"  
  
"Quiet and passive aggressive."  
  
"Got it."  
  
"So what’s been going on besides being kicked around?"  
  
"Well, you know, busy at work.  Although I had a bit of a lull so I was able to focus on my book for a bit of time."  
  
"Yes, its been a while since you mentioned it."  
  
"Well, I hit a wall, but a friend of mine helped me scale it."  
  
"And how did that happen?"  
  
"Well that friend Doyle, remember he was my editor when I was at Yale?  He read the manuscript and said that there wasn’t enough of me in it."  
  
"How can that be?  You wrote it."  
  
"That’s what I said! He said that I did not put enough of my point of view.  That I needed to raise the volume of my voice."  
  
"Well, it is hard when competing with your mother.  So do you know how you’re going to go about the changes?"  
  
"Well yes, but I am going to need your help doing this."  
  
"Ok, what can I do?"  
  
"Tell me how you really felt about mom raising me alone."  
  
Christopher let out a huge sigh and got up to pour himself a finger of scotch. "I thought we had this conversation?"  
  
"Yes, but that was under a different context.  Plus, you didn’t really answer my question.  You let me know that in the end, you realized it was best, but you didn’t tell me how you actually felt about it or feel about it now."  
  
"Why is this so important?  Why do my feelings have any bearing on how you should feel about something?"  
  
"Because I realized that I don’t know the whole story.  I know mom’s point of view, but I don't know yours.  I need to understand before I can form an opinion."  
  
"Well, I hated it.  I still hate it.  I will always hate it.  Not raising you is the biggest regret of my life."  
  
"So if you hated it so much, why did you let it happen?"  
  
"Because I was weak Rory."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Christopher was quiet for a moment to consider this words.  “You know there were many things I envied about your mother when we were young. But, and this is going to surprise you, one of the things I envied the most was her relationship with Richard and Emily.”  
  
Rory, laughing in surprise and disbelief. “Whhhaaat?”  
  
“Yes!”  Christopher said seemingly surprised that he voiced this thought aloud, “Yes, Richard and Emily.  Yes, Lorelai may have had a contentious relationship with them, but compared to the Hayden family, the Gilmores were the Brady Bunch.”  
  
“But they fought all the time!”  
  
“Yes, they did. And as messed up as that was, at least they fought, at least they were communicating.  In the Hayden house, there was no debate, there was no fighting.  It was Straub’s way or the highway.  Imagine living in that kind of oppression?  And it permeated into all facets of our lives, to the point that I was happy to have a uniform for school because if I didn't, I would have had anxiety attacks over what to wear every day.  Sure I rebelled, but whenever Straub really got really serious and imposed his will, I always backed down.  Lorelai always compared Emily to Idi Ammine?  Compared to Straub, she was Martin Luther King Jr.”  
  
Christopher continued, “I know now that my dad, despite all his accomplishments, was a very sick and insecure man.  He hated being thought of as nothing less than perfect.  Mistakes were not an option for him, although when he did make them, we had to understand.  You wouldn’t know it, but he was a man that was so controlled by outside influences.  Whether or not it was him winning a case, being an expert at something, he liked being sought after and envied.  This was at the core of his being, and it spread to the family as well.  Mom and I became an extension of his perfection, and we had to play the perfect part.  When we didn’t there was hell to  pay."  
  
"He didn’t ever….get violent?"  
  
"No, he did throw things every once in a while, but his influence and control were very insidious; he always framed his actions as him being altruistic like he was trying to help you to be better.  He was very manipulative.  He had a way of turning things around so that problem was always someone else's fault.  That gift made him a successful lawyer and businessman, but personally, he was a big mess.  The atmosphere in the house was so toxic.  What kind of day you had was dependent on what mood he was in.  I was so happy when he went off on business trips.    It wasn’t until years later, after all the failed business ventures, after all the false starts, all those things that I did to get his blessing and approval, that I realized what an asshole he really was and that I didn’t need his approval.  From then I was able to get my life relatively together. "  
  
"Like getting a Volvo and marrying mom?"  
  
"Hey that was a cool car and your mom and I getting together was a question that needed to be answered for both of us.   You know Rory,  as terrible as he was to me, I am not mad for me, I am mad for my mom."  
  
"Francine?"  
  
"Yes, she suffered so much while with him.  It has only been in the past couple of years that she has been able to emerge from the fog.  You know she was an artist?  A very talented painter.  I think that is why my dad fell for her; because she was so creative.   Her ambition was always to be a wife and mother,  but she still liked to paint.  Anyway, there was one time early in their marriage that she was invited to participate in a joint show.  Nothing too fancy, just a small gallery in West Port.  Well, this one man, a man whom my father held in great esteem, had a negative reaction to one of mom’s painting.  It embarrassed dad, and after that, he told her that she had to stop engaging in such frivolity.  Never mind that other people thought she was good.  It was the opinion of one person that changed her life."   
  
"Wow, I can’t believe she let him do that.  Why didn’t she fight?"  
  
"Because that is what she was trained to do.  To support and follow her husband and to make him happy.  He probably convinced her that she was not good enough anyway."  
  
"That makes me so sad."  
  
"It is sad.  She started painting again.  Gigi taking her to cooking lesson?  That’s big too.  Asking you to brunch?  That’s huge.  Straub is rolling in his grave as we speak. "  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"When we told my parents about you, he naturally hit the roof.  He never wanted anything to do with you, Rory.  Oh yes, there was the whole idea of your mother and me getting married, but really that was Emily and Richard's doing.  If my father had his way Lorelai would not have gone through the pregnancy at all, or given you up for adoption, basically anything to keep me out of it.  While publicly advocating marriage, in private it was all about how to rid ourselves of this “problem”.  Mom so wanted to be involved in your life, but again Straub put the kibosh on that too.  Even on his deathbed. you would have thought that being so sick would have given someone perspective, but no, he was angry up until the last breath.  Angry that he got sick, angry at how unfair life was, angry at how rotten life was because he worked so hard and nothing lived up to his expectations.  In so many ways, it was a great relief when he finally went."  
  
"So it was your dad that kept you away from us?"  
  
"No, it was me.  On the one hand, I had my dad who was adamantly against me being involved in your life, and on the other was Lorelei who was ready for us to bolt.  For me, as a sixteen-year-old, it was very confusing.  I think your mother sensed my hesitation because in the weeks before you were born, I felt her withdrawing from me.  Whenever she discussed plans, they were no longer about “us” but about “her”.  What really sealed it was what happened when you were born.  Lorelai didn’t tell me until after the fact when you were all cleaned up and pretty.  By the time I got to the hospital you were already named for Pete’s sake.  And not just named, but named Gilmore, despite the fact that I was listed as your father on your birth certificate.  Other than matching earlobes, there was nothing me or Hayden about you.  I told your mother that I thought we should get married, but it was half-hearted because I felt like she already made her decision to go it alone.  She knew I was not fully committed, and she didn't need the dead weight.   I did try though.  Your love for U2?  I take credit for that."  
  
"Really now?  I think mom would go a couple of rounds with you on that."  
  
"She would lose!!"  Christopher implored with a wry smile. "She hated U2 when they first came out.  I would play records and she would tell me to," imitating Lorelai, " 'turn off that noise!'  When I would come to visit you, I would play them for you when she wasn’t in the room.  I even put a poster next to your crib."  
  
"Yes, The October Album! I had that poster in my room for a while.  I never thought about where I got it.  I assumed it was from Mom. "  
  
"No, it was from me."  
  
"I’m so, so sorry you had to go through this Dad."  
  
Waving off her sympathy, “It’s ok.  I have made peace with this aspect of my life.  I am lucky Rory, in many ways.   I am lucky that I was able to pull myself together for Gigi.  I am lucky that despite my absence you continued to welcome me into your life.  I am lucky that I am able to hold down a job and function.  What I want to do now is move forward.  In some ways, it was better that your mom raised you alone.  Remember how Straub treated you when we saw each other at your grandparents’ house for dinner?  He was very rude to you then.  Imagine having to grow up with that?  I like to think that by not being involved I was protecting you from him, saving you from a lifetime of heartache.  Imagine being burdened with the notion that you are the source of all the Hayden family failures?  Not a good life indeed."  
  
"Yes, mom made the same observation."  
  
"You are a kind, intelligent, wonderful young woman.  It was hard for your mother, but in the end, this was the way life was supposed to happen.  I have regrets, but I will take those regrets if it was meant to make you the person you are now.  I wasn’t there for you Rory, but I am now.  I want you to have the parents and your baby to have the grandparents your mother and I did not have when we were in this situation.  I want life to be better for this generation, not perpetuate the vicious cycle.  So I am here for you kid, day and night, 24/7, 525,600 minutes a year, no matter what.  You do  _know_  that don’t you?  
  
Rory looked at her father, and with a reassuring smile replied, " _Yes_  dad, I  _know_ , I  _really_  do."  
  
  
Later the following afternoon Rory was driving home.   As she approached her apartment building, she suddenly changed directions, heading back through the main streets and towards Lorelai and Luke's house.  
  
Rory arrived to find Luke's truck parked in the driveway.  She went to the front door, ringing the doorbell before walking in,  “Luke?  Mom?  Are you home?”  
  
“I’m back here!’  Luke replied.  
  
Rory headed towards the kitchen to find Luke folding laundry in her bedroom.  
  
“I'm barely out the door and you turn my room into a laundry room?"  she asked with mock offense.  
  
“Well sorry, but it is a logical place seeing that the laundry is out the back door.”  
  
“It’s ok Luke.”  
  
“So what’s going on?  Lorelai is out with Michele doing stuff for the Annex renovation.”  
  
"It’s ok, I am just here to find something."  
  
"Can I help?"  
  
"It’s a U2 poster."  Rory responded while she looking through her desk drawers,  “About 1/2 the size of a regular poster.  It used to hang on that wall.  I can’t remember where I put it.“  
  
"Not in your desk?"  
  
"No... Oh yes, now I remember!  I tucked it in with some record albums.  Those are in the garage."

 Luke suddenly became more alert.

 "You want to go to the garage?"

"Yea."  
  
"It really dirty there, you shouldn’t go in there, not good for the baby."  
  
"I’m not fragile Luke and baby is fine.  There are no toxic chemicals in there right?"  
  
"Well stuff is all over the place, I doubt you will find it."  
  
"Luke?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Why are you trying to keep me out of the garage?"  
  
Caught, Luke gave in, “Ok, let’s go.”  
  
Luke and Rory walked to the garage, where Rory found an unfinished crib like creation, obviously hand built by Luke.  
  
"Luke!  What did you do?"  
  
"It’s a co-sleeper.  I read about it on the internet.  You can leave this side open and put it right next to your bed so when the baby needs you at night all you have to do is reach over.  When s/he gets older, you can put in another rail and make it into a mini crib.  And, get some extension rails, and it becomes a twin bed."

Rory gave Luke a big hug, "I don’t know what to say."  
  
"I hope it's not too much.  I know I've been going a bit nutty with the presents.  I didn't get to be around when April was a baby, so my excitement is spilling over."

"No Luke, it's perfect. 'Thank you' doesn't seem enough."

"It’s my pleasure. I'm really happy for you.  This is such a great thing and well, now that you know, you can pick the stain so it can match the decor in your apartment."

"It's cool that the baby can say that his/her first and maybe only bed was made by...Luke, what is the baby going to call you?"  
  
"I don’t know...Luke?"  
  
"Grandpa Luke?"  
  
Luke smiles.  "You know, I used to call my grandfather Grampy.  I always thought that if I did become a grandfather, I would be called Grampy too."  
  
"Ok, so Grampy it is.  You know Grampy could be mixed up with Grumpy, right?"  
  
"Yes, I know.  My Grandfather was also known for that name as well."


	26. But We Are Gilmores

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do not cross Emily and Lorelai (and yes Francine)

_ **But We Are Gilmores** _

_ April 2017  _

_ Stars Hollow and West Port, CT  _

_ It was 8:30 am when Emily Gilmore decided to rise out of bed.  At first, she was a little confused, waking to unfamiliar surroundings.  After a minute or two, she remembered she was no longer in the peaceful confines of her Nantucket sanctuary, but rather in a room at The Dragon Fly Inn.  Emily got dressed at a leisurely pace and proceeded downstairs for breakfast.  "Good Morning Mrs. Gilmore," the waiter greeted as she sat down at her table.  He handed her a menu, “The breakfast specials are listed to the right, but if there is anything you would like that is not on the menu, Pauline said she could see what she could do."    It's good to have connections,   Emily thought as she sipped her coffee and perused the menu.    _

_ About an hour later Lorelai appeared, dressed in a dignified "proper" outfit and obviously very annoyed.  "Good morning mother, I hope you slept well,"  She said a bit sarcastically.  _

_ “Lorelai, it's too early in the morning to start.  And remember we are doing this for Rory?”  _

_ “Ugh, for Rory,” Lorelai adds dramatically, “what did we do to deserve this kind of treatment?  She owes us big time.  BIG! TIME!"  _

_ “Yes. I know.”  Emily responded, rolling her eyes, “You’ve  said that a million times...and,”  she added emphatically, “  YES, Rory does owe us.”  _

_ Shira Huntzberger's baby shower for Rory was a month away.  In an effort to 'create an occasion that Rory would enjoy', Shira invited Emily and Lorelai to a tasting at their club in West Port.  Having loosened her ties with the Connecticut social set, Emily was not too keen on giving in to the beckonings of the   Grand Dame , but this occasion was tied to Rory, so Emily complied.  _

_ "Why?!?!?"  Lorelai demanded when the subject was first brought up a little over a week ago.  _

_ "Because” Emily lectured, “Shira is going to be an in-law of sorts.  She can make Rory's life and our lives either pleasant or hellish.  I choose pleasant, and attending this lunch will at least set Rory on the pleasant path.  It's the first invitation, and the first invitation is important.  After this, you can go on ignoring the Huntzbergers as much as you want.  So practice your happy face and deal with it!"  _

_ Putting on a happy face was something that Emily has not had to do in a while. However, because she was well trained in this social norm, Emily was able to easily put herself in 'gracious guest' mode.    This is a happy occasion,  Emily coached herself as she got ready, happy indeed.  Yet, with the cloud of Rory's situation looming so overwhelmingly above her, it was hard for Emily not to be worried.  It wasn't enough that Rory was unmarried and pregnant, but also not permanently employed, and living in a studio apartment.  Sure there was temporary and freelance jobs, and the memoir (which Emily wasn't too happy about), but nothing steady, nothing solid.    A child needs to have stability,   she remembered herself preaching to Lorelai over and over again.  But this time Rory isn't 16.  Rory was an adult.  Rory had to find a way to deal.    _

_ It wasn't as if Rory did not have options financially speaking.  Thanks to the arrangement made by her great-grandmother, Lorelai I, and now Richard, Rory always had the financial backing to live a comfortable life.  Yet, she eschewed the easy way, choosing to live off the money she made from working, saving the money from her trust funds for a “rainy day.”  Now that there was a baby on the way, Emily wondered how Rory's attitude would change; you can't find a bigger storm than a child.  "How times have changed," Emily muttered to herself as she and Lorelai proceeded through their 45-hour drive to West Port.  _

_ "What?"  Lorelai asked.  _

_ "Oh, sorry I was just thinking aloud."  _

_ 'About what?"  _

_ "Oh, how times have changed.  In my day if a girl got pregnant, you got married.  Now it's ‘co-parenting’.  I just can't wrap my head around it."  _

_ "Well the times they are a-changin'”  _

_ "And you're ok with this?"  _

_ "Yes, it's better than having to force a relationship.  I've seen enough toxic "keep it together for the kids" marriages to know that it isn’t the answer to everything.  Rory and Logan are working it out."  _

_ "You know, she would be set for life if she married him.  Even if they ended up divorced we could prenup it to guarantee that she could be comfortable for the rest of her life and beyond.  In my day women would see that as a ‘win’.”  _

_ "Yes, but that day has passed and also that's not the way Rory sees it."  _

_ "Yes, I know.  Believe me, widowhood has opened my eyes to the realities of being that dependent.  I understand why she is keeping him at arm's length.  I understand her to need to establish herself independently.  There is no worse feeling than having the rug pulled from under you, no matter what the circumstance.  I don't know Lorelai,  I vacillate between thinking that Rory is being brave and smart, to thinking she's a total idiot."  _

_ "Well if it makes you feel any better," Lorelai said with a wide smile, "I feel the same way."  _

_ They arrive at the club, where they were promptly met by the valets.  "Hmm, fancy..."  Lorelai mockingly observed as they walked into the grand entrance.  _

_ “Lorelai, manners, " Emily scolded.  _

_ “Sorry, defense mechanism.”  _

_ Lorelai excused herself to go to the ladies room leaving Emily to head to the dining room alone.  "I'm here to meet Shira Huntzberger," she informed the hostess. Leading her to a less crowded corner of the dining room Emily was surprised to find not Shira, but Francine Hayden.  _

_ "Francine, what are you doing here?"  _

_ "Shira invited me.  You didn't know?"  _

_ "No, she didn't tell me.  I wonder why?"  _

_ "Maybe because I am Rory's grandmother too?"  _

_ Emily knew that Rory and Francine had reconnected and even had lunch a couple of time.  Nevertheless, a few weeks of contact did not establish the title of grandmother, Emily thought.  What is Shira up to?  _

_ "Oh well,"  Emily replied trying to keep her composure, “how did she know to call you?”  _

_ “Maybe Logan told her that Rory and I were talking?  Or maybe she heard it through the grapevine.  You know how fast news travels in our circle Emily, especially when it involves the Huntzbergers.”  _

_ “True,”  Emily said, a little upset with herself for forgetting the gossip circuit, “news does travel.”  _

_ “So, anyway, how are you?"  Francine asked fondly, "It’s so good to see you.  Nantucket seems to be agreeing with you.”  _

_ “Yes, well sometimes one needs a change of scenery to gain some perspective on life,” Emily responded in a surprisingly warm way.  _

_ “Yes, I know.  Widowhood is a very jarring experience.”  _

_ “Indeed it is.”  _

_ At that moment Shira arrived.  “I’m so sorry ladies.  I am always late for everything, even appointments I make.”  _

_ “It’s no problem Shira,”  Emily replied, “It gave Francine here and I some time to get reacquainted.”  _

_ “Oh, so you don’t see each other much?  Really?”  _

_ “Our lives and schedules are not as in tune as in the past.”  Francine chimed in.  _

_ “Well thank you for coming.  I thought it would be nice if we had a little sampling of everything we were going to serve at the shower.  I thought perhaps buffet style, that way people could mix and mingle as they would like, what do you think?”  _

_ “Shouldn’t we wait until Lorelei get here?  What is keeping that girl? I better call her.”  _

_ “Oh Emily, don’t worry about Lorelei, she’s with Mitchum. I saw them engrossed in a conversation at the bar.”  _

_ “Mitchum is here?”  _

_ “Why yes,” Shira said in a unconvincingly nonchalant way.  _

_ Emily immediately went on high alert.  _

_ A few moments earlier, across the club, Lorelei emerged from the ladies room and was about to make her way towards the dining room when Mitchum Huntzberger approached her.  _

_ “Excuse me, Lorelai Gilmore?”   _

_ Lorelai looked at Mitchum surprised, “Yes?”  _

_ Extending his hand he replied, “I’m Mitchum Huntzberger Logan’s…”  _

_ Taking his hand Lorelai finished Mitchum’s introduction, “…father.  Oh, nice to put a face with the name.”  _

_ “I hope the face doesn’t disappoint.”  _

_ “Well if it did, would I be telling you that?”  _

_ “Touche Lorelai, touche.”  _

_ “So, did you come here with your wife?  Will you be joining us for lunch?”  _

_ “No, party planning is not my cup of tea.  Shira would veto all my ideas anyway; she’s very particular when it comes to event planning.”  _

_Then why and I here? Lorelai thought,  “Oh well then, I don’t want to keep them waiting,” she tells Mitchum.  _

_ “Come join me for a drink.”  _

_ “But my mother and Shira are waiting.”  _

_ “Oh, they can get along without you.  Come on, I insist.”  _

_ “Well, if you insist.”  _

_ Lorelei and Mitchum go to the bar where Mitchum guided them to a quiet corner which rendered Lorelai suspicious.  The waiter soon arrived to take their order.  _

_ “I’ll have a scotch neat.  Lorelai?”  _

_ “Scotch at 11:30 in the morning on an empty stomach? Sure why not!  I’ll have one too!”  _

_ At that same time in the dining room Emily, Francine, and Shira were settling in.  After making pleasant conversation, the waitstaff proceeded to present small plates of various dishes;  baby green salad, four different kinds of quiches, vegetable dishes, a fruit tray, twelve kinds of pastries.  This along with choices of Mimosa, Bloody Marys, champagne, and sparkling drinks made Emily quite full and sleepy.  _

_ This was all before the dessert and coffee.  _

_ “So Emily, how is life in Nantucket?  Peaceful I hope?” Shira inquired.  _

_ “Yes, it’s quite lovely.  There is nothing like the ocean to wash away the stress.” Emily replied.  _

_ “We do miss you.  We used to have so much fun at our events remember?”  _

_ “Oh yes, I remember.”  _

_ “I mean just last week, at the Heart Association fundraiser, we were all talking about you and how much we missed you, weren’t we Francine?”  _

_ “Well, we were reminiscing about last year’s fundraiser, when we honored Richard.  He did a lot to help fund the Heart Center at St. Josephs”  _

_ “Yes, I remember,” said Emily  _

_ “I am so hoping that Rory enjoys this shower.”  Shira continued, “This is really her occasion to be introduced to ‘everyone’.”  _

_ “Everyone?”  _

_ “Oh, you know our circle.  Now that she will be somewhat part of the family, she will need to get up to speed.  I mean I know you are out, but Rory is at a different place in life.  Don’t you agree Francine?’  _

_ “Agree with what?” the confused Francine asked.  _

_ “About Rory getting to know people.  She will be expected to show herself at events before she knows it.”  Shira somewhat condescendingly informed.  _

_ “I am not sure how much she will be involved in that world.  Rory has her own career and other interests to think about.” Emily added  _

_ “Well, yes.  But you never know.  Motherhood has a way of changing one’s priorities.  Suppose after the baby is born she would want to stay home and care for him/her herself?  What is a break turns into years?  She needs to have a fallback.  It’s good for her to have options.  Don’t you agree?”  _

_ “Yes, it’s true, but Rory can find her own options.”  _

_ “Oh, I’m sure she can,” Shira said preciously, “I am just showing her an additional path, that’s all.  So what are her plans, Emily?  Logan is so stingy with information.”  _

_ “They are co-parenting.  Apparently, that is all the rage now.” _

_ “So Rory is moving to the city to be near Logan?”  _

_ “I don’t know.”  _

_ “So Logan and Rory have worked out arrangements?”  _

_ “I don’t know.”  _

_ Shira was now frustrated, “Well what do you know Emily?”  _

_ Emily passive-aggressively responded,  “What I said before, they are co-parenting.”  _

_ “Well, I don’t like it.”  _

_ “Excuse me?”  _

_ “I don’t like it, and  I am surprised that you are not feeling the same way.”  _

_ ‘Well Shira, I have learned that people are going to do what they are going to do.  Why fight it?”  _

_ “But it’s not…traditional.  I mean, people are already talking, saying that they are both being irresponsible, treating their situation like a reality TV show.  There are some that are chomping at the bit for this situation to explode.  It all just so disturbing.”  _

_ “Why do you care what people think?”  _

_ “It’s not so much of what people think, it’s just that it’s so…not proper.  It’s not good for the baby.  Children need stability.  Francine, you agree with me right?”  _

_ “WWwwell…” Francine nervously tried to answer.  _

_ “…I am sure that Rory and Logan will make sure that happens.” Emily interrupted  _

_ “Are you sure that is going to happen?” Shira asked  _

_ “I am sure that Rory is not out to make life difficult for Logan.”  _

_ “Well, she already is.  Come on we all know how he feels about her.  He would give her the world if she let him, and yet she is stringing him along.  What more does she want?”  _

_ “She wants for nothing.  Whatever reasons why Rory is choosing not to get involved with Logan, those are her own.  I do know that she has been very honest about how she feels, so she is not stringing him along.  If Logan cannot deal with the reality, then that’s his problem.”  _

_ “Well, how do we know she won’t make life difficult for Logan later on?”  _

_ “The same way we know that Logan won’t make life difficult for Rory.”  _

_ “Rory would be set for life if she married Logan.  There are advantages to being an Huntzberger, she will never need for anything.”  _

_ “Yes, but we are Gilmores, so she is already not in need.”  _

_ “More importantly”, Francine chimed in, looking at Emily meaningfully and then to Shira directly, “We are Rory’s family, so whatever happens, she will be more than fine.”  _

_ Back at the bar, Lorelai was nursing her scotch, carefully considering Mitchum.  _

_ “Ok…Mitchum.  Why am I really here?”  _

_ “What do you mean?”  Mitchum answered innocently.  _

_ “I mean my mother and I were invited here under the guise of planning a party for Rory, which we are not hosting.  Your wife claimed that she needs help, but according to you she is a party planning Nazi, and then you show up and spirit me away to the bar and now we’re drinking scotch.  I don’t know, why do I feel like I am Freddo and you are taking me fishing?”  _

_ Mitchum smirks, “Freddo…funny.”  _

_ “But I’m not too off the mark am I?”  _

_ “You’re very perceptive Lorelai Gilmore. No, you are not off the mark; I did want to have a discussion with you.”  _

_ Why all the smoke and mirrors?  Why all the intrigue?  You know we have phones in Stars Hallow.  _

_ “I just wasn’t sure if you would agree to meet with me.”  _

_ “And why is that?”  _

_ “Because I want to discuss this situation with Rory and Logan and how we can influence them in making better decisions about their lives.”  _

_ “Ah, yes, you’re probably right, I would have ignored you.  Ok,”  Lorelai said raising her glass,  “well we’re here so hit me with it.”  _

_ “We need to figure out how to get those two together.”  _

_ “Why?  They seem to be doing fine on their own.”  _

_ “For now, but once the reality of the baby hits them, it will get more complicated.”  _

_ “In what way?”  _

_ “Well, Logan doesn’t have a job that is portable.  He has just hit a stride in his career and is pretty much ensconced in New York.  Rory is not.  Rory can go anywhere, and as we know, traditionally, the children go where the mother goes.”  _

_ “And you are thinking that Rory will take the baby away from Logan.”  _

_ “That is a fear.”  _

_ “Let me assure you, it is unfounded.”  _

_ “How? I have not heard any news as to what Rory has decided for her future. “  _

_ “Well, she’s wrapping up her current job, and it’s been pretty intense.  I don’t think she has the physical and mental energy to see past next week.”  _

_ “I offered her a job.  She has not responded.”  _

_ “Hence, my previous comment?”  _

_ “This is a golden opportunity that is being handed to her, and she is not jumping at it.  Why not?”  _

_ “Because of the person who is handing it to her?  You two don’t have quite the sterling employee-employer record.”  _

_ “That’s water under the bridge.  I’m only looking out for her best interest.”  _

_ “And your son’s.”  _

_ “No, I am looking out for   our   grandchild’s best interest.  I am looking out for the best interest of that family.”  _

_ “Look, she doesn’t have all the facts.  She needs to consider other options, then she can make a decision.  She is a very deliberate person.”  _

_ Half, laughing and smirking Mitchum responded, “Oh really, she is huh?”  _

_ Lorelai very offended replied, “Yes, she is.  Just what are you implying? And chose your words very carefully Mitchum!”  _

_ “Well if she were deliberate, then does that mean she planned to be in this position?  She wanted things to be this way?  Because my impression is that this situation was a result of carelessness.”  _

_ “In which your son was also an active participant.”  _

_ “He never meant for this to happen…”  _

_ “…And neither did Rory!”  _

_ “…I mean he was engaged…”  _

_ “…and, need I remind you,  he willingly put that little “inconvenience” aside to be with Rory…”  _

_ “…We’ve done everything we can to make this easy for her, and she is still being difficult.”  _

_ “Whoa, whoa, so are you saying that all this stress and angst is all my daughter’s fault?”  _

_ “If she would just accept this plan, be it they get married, or she takes the job, then this matter would be settled.”  _

_ “Look, I understand that you are concerned for your son and his relationship with his child.  I can assure you that Rory has no intention of making that relationship difficult for him.  She knows what it’s like to grow up without with a father.  She turned out ok, but she did miss her dad when she was growing up. She would   never   inflict that kind of grief on her kid if she could help it.  I could easily turn this argument around and ask how do we know that Logan will keep up his end of the bargain?”  _

_ “Excuse me?”  _

_ “Well, if we are going to based things on past behavior, then let's talk about Logan! He doesn't exactly have the most sterling record now does he?  One could say he doesn’t seem to take commitment seriously.    Putting aside all his oat-sowing before he got together with Rory, l  ike you said he was engaged, on the verge to be married, and yet   chose   to have an affair with my daughter.    For all I know   Rory will make all these sacrifices to make sure that they have a relationship only to have him   choose   to go another direction  .    How do I know that all of this devotion that Logan is displaying is not for show?  How do I know that he won't abandon Rory and the baby when the first opportunity for another woman comes up?  How do I know that he won't essentially abandon them to concentrate on becoming   Master and Commander   of the publishing world?!  You’re so worried about Rory’s ability to hold up her end of the parenting bargain, can you guarantee me that Logan will hold up his?”  _

_ Mitchum is quiet for a moment.  “No, I can’t”  _

_ “Well then, seems we are at a crossroads.”  _

_ “We can open a lot of doors for Rory.”  _

_ “Yes, but we are Gilmores.  We open our own doors.”  _

  


	27. Confrontational Containment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second in my "Rory and Logan" Fighting Series

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to LoonyMarauder for reminding me about this chapter!

**Confrontational Containment**

 

April 2017

Darien and Stars Hollow, CT

 

 Logan could not help but be amused at the crowd. With all the screaming and enthusiasm one might have thought that they were attending a game seven NBA championship game or the NCAA final. The fact was, they were at the last game of his nephew Theo’s first grade basketball season.  Having moved back to the states, Logan vowed to take his role as “Uncle Logan” more seriously. He made it a point to attend as many as his niece and nephew’s events as he possibly could. This meant weekend games, winter holiday pageants, and birthday parties. “It good training ground for you,” Josh told him during the first event after they found out about Rory’s pregnancy, “once that kid becomes school age, you can kiss your weekends goodbye.”

 Being the last game of the season, Theo made it a point to invite everyone in the family. So their crowd also included Josh’s parents, and his brother and fiancée. Mitchum and Shira were also invited, and Logan was surprised to find them absent, “Where are mom and dad?” Logan asked Honor between plays, “I have no idea” she answered back matter-a-factly.

 When the game ended, the extended family made its way to the parking lot with the intention of meeting the rest of the team at a local ice cream shop for an end of the season celebration. As they walked toward the exit, Logan spotted his parents. They seemed out of place, dressed more for a formal luncheon than a kids’ basketball game. Charlotte reached them first, enthusiastically jumping into Mitchum’s arms.   “Hello, Logan sweetheart.” Shira greeted him.

 “Hi, Mom...” He greeted her, kissing her on the cheek and then nodding his head towards Mitchum “…Dad. Were you here the whole time?”

 “No, no. Unfortunately, we had a prior appointment that ran late so we were only able to catch the last 10 minutes of the game. “ Mitchum answered

 “Well, at least you made it,” Logan answered.

 As the three of them made their way to the parking lot, Logan couldn’t help but notice his parents giving each other knowing glances full of guilt. Sensing that his parents were up to something, Logan braced himself for the onslaught. It had been several weeks since he broke the news about his impending fatherhood. He had to admit that he was surprised and somewhat suspicious that their response was not so severe; in the past, they would have been relentlessly communicating their opinions. He was also surprised at the level of acceptance he felt from the both of them. Mitchum, now and then, would ask about Rory’s progress and make comments about setting up trust and education funds, while Shira, in a completely shocking move, insisted on throwing them a baby shower. This public acknowledgment of their less than traditional situation was an action he never expected from his mother. “What do you think she’s up to?” Logan asked Honor after learning about the shower,  “Who knows?” Honor replied, “ but don’t worry I will keep her in line.”

 Upon reaching the parking lot, Mitchum and Shira stopped and turned to Logan. “Sweetheart, we need to tell you something. You are not going to be happy, but just remember we did it out of concern.” Logan closed his eyes and let out an exasperated exhale. He knew his parents well and understood that his plea to stay out of his business would fall on deaf ears, so this conversation was not a surprise. Since informing his parents about the baby, contact between Logan and them had been sparser than before. Questions from his parents regarding Rory and the baby were always met with short, to the point, and somewhat terse answers. There were no discussions. Logan adopted this approach to keep himself sane; his parents’ incessant questioning and strategizing would have surely driven him to parricide.

“Ok, what did you do?" Logan asked pointedly.

“We wanted you to hear this from us before it received the Gilmore spin. Again, we did this out of concern…” Shira stated

“…Mom, just spit it out.”

“We just came from lunch with Emily, Francine, and Lorelai,” Mitchum said.

Logan looked from one parent to the other, “Yes, and…?”

“Well, you have been so secretive with what is going on with you and Rory that we had to take action. So we arranged a lunch. I had lunch with Emily and Francine, and Lorelai had drinks with your father.” Shira continued

“We just wanted to find out what was going on with your two, possibly encourage them to encourage Rory to accept the opportunities we are prepared to give to her.”

 “Opportunities? Opportunities? Like what?”

 “Logan, the two of you getting married is the most ideal situation for everyone involved. We were hoping that Emily and Francine could use their influence to get Rory to see…how this could benefit her and the baby.”

 "And their response?”

Shira looked annoyed. “Well if you must know, they were not receptive to my plan. Francine was absolutely no help and Emily!  It seems she not only cut ties but also she burned her bridges to the ground!” She said with a hint of snarkiness.

“You would think at least Lorelai would have been receptive to Rory taking the PR job I offered her, it’s not like it’s charity work. This would really bolster her career.”

Logan look stricken, something that Mitchum caught right away, “Rory did tell you about the job offer right?” 

“Yes, of course, she did, ” Logan said, scrambling to recover, “I am just surprised that you assumed she mentioned it to Lorelai.”  _Well, that was a pretty weak cover_ , Logan thought to himself.

Mitchum looked a bit smug and dismissive, “Well, Lorelai was not receptive to using her influence either.”

“We did this for you sweetheart...” Shira implored

“What?!” Logan interrupted.

Shira continued, “Look, you not being married and Rory not being settled means that she is a loose cannon. She can do anything, and go anywhere and take the baby with her. What if all of a sudden she gets a golden opportunity to work on the West Coast, and she leaves and takes the baby with her? You are now based in New York Logan! Do you want that kind of life where you only see your child on weekend on alternate months and summer breaks? Do you want to go through tense custody negotiations? We figured getting Rory settled, be it you getting married or her having a job here will guarantee that you will not have to be subjected to that life.”

Logan pressed his finger to his temples, trying hard to contain his emotions. “Do you realize what you have done? Rory and I have gotten to the point that we are communicating and interacting on a regular basis. We hit a point that we are comfortable with each other and progressing at a reasonable pace. After all, that’s happened this past year she is very gun-shy about taking our relationship beyond parenting. There is only so much she can handle right now. I agreed to respect her boundaries. I know her well enough to know that pushing her will only make her retreat. Do you realize what you just did probably set us back to where we started, that you possibly ruined month and months of progress?”

Now Shira was angry, “Well how are we suppose to know that Logan? You haven’t told us anything in regard to Rory and the baby. Plus, the way things have gone this past two years with your personal life we didn’t trust that you were handling it well. You will learn Logan when you see your child going down the wrong path you have to intervene.”

“Mother, I am a 35 not 16. My mistakes are my mistakes. I don’t want or need you to fix things for me anymore. I said it before and I will say it again, what transpires between Rory and me is no one’s business but ours. Now, if you will excuse me, I now have to do damage control. Enjoy the ice cream celebration.”

Logan went to his car and took off for Stars Hallow. He had to smooth things over with not only Rory but also with Lorelai and Emily as well.   He couldn't help but be frustrated with Rory. He didn’t know that his father had offered her a job. In all this time she didn’t mention it. Here he thought that they had turned a corner; that they were communicating and getting closer. The progress they seemingly made the past few month was now in question; she was still not being totally forthcoming with him.

__________________________________________

Later that afternoon at Luke’s Diner.  Lorelai and Emily were sitting at the counter debriefing Rory, while Luke and Jess are working behind the counter listening as well.

“I can’t believe they did that,” the exasperated Rory exclaimed.

“Don’t worry we got your back.  Your grandmothers slayed that Shira dragon with one parry of their sword.” reported Lorelai 

“Francine really stood up to Shira?” Rory asked Emily.

“Yes, it was quite a significant moment.”  Emily replied.

“I have half a mind to skip that stupid shower.  Let Shira twist in the wind.” Rory threatened.

“No Rory, you can’t do that.  No matter what, you are linked to those people for the rest of your life, you have to play this game to stay civil.  You don’t have to do everything, just enough.”  Emily said.

“Also, think of all the presents you will be missing out on.  Make sure to register for all the expensive stuff.”  Lorelai added.

“Okay, I will go and wear my happy face, but I won’t like it.”  Rory lamented.

“Oh, there’s my little passive-aggressive angel”  Lorelai said preciously.

"Well," Emily said, “I would like to go back to the inn and rest up a bit before dinner.  We are still meeting at the Dragonfly this evening?” Emily asked Rory.

“6 pm sharp,” Rory confirmed.

“Ok see you then.”

With that, Lorelai and Emily left the diner.

 “Wow, that Huntzberger crew is unbelievable." Jess said sitting down with Rory.

“Yes, they are quite a pair.  Going through my mother, and grandmothers when all they had to do was ask.”

“I have a feeling that they didn’t bother to ask because they knew that you would not give them the answer they wanted.”

“True, they are used to getting what they want.”

“People like that don’t take ‘no’ very well.”

“Well, at least mom and Grandma didn’t give in.  And Francine, a win for her.  Oh, and now I have to tell Logan about this.”

“Why?”

“Because they his parents and he should know what they are up to?”

“No, I mean what's the point? He probably already knows.  He probably put them up to it.”

“No, he wouldn’t do that.”

“Ok, well he probably planned it with them.”

“No, he didn’t!  Logan would never do that.  He has always taken great pains to keep his parents out of his business.”

“Oh come on Rory, you don’t think that he was in on this to manipulate you?”

“No, I don’t.  Why do you think that?”

“Because the man still has feelings for you.  He is trying to get you to let down your guard so he can swoop in.”

“Swoop?  Swoop?  And then what will he do next? Fy me to his nest and have his way with me?”

“Yes, in a matter of speaking.”

“Jess, you don’t know what you’re talking about.  Where is this coming from anyway?”

“I don’t trust the guy ok?  I don’t trust that he will do right by you or this kid.”

“And this is based on?”

“His past behavior.  Remember how he acted when we met up when you were off of Yale?  Remember how he cheated on you with the bridesmaids?  He had an affair while engaged to someone else.”

“Yes, I know.  I was the other half of the affair.”

“Yes, but you are not to blame.”

“Really now?”

“He conned you into it.”

“Ah…ok?!  And you are getting these assumptions from where?”

“Rory, you would never willingly have a relationship with another woman’s man, that is not you.”

“Whoa, you are way out of the loop in regards to the events of my life.”

“It’s not something you would do, he took advantage of the situation when you were vulnerable.”

“What do you think of me?  That I’m some mindless airhead who lets boys string me around?”

“No, I just think that he is not a good influence.”

“You know, this is vaguely familiar.  You know the last I was treated this way?”

“When?”

“When  _we_  got into that car accident in high school.  People were so sure that you influenced me and I followed you around like some lovesick puppy.  It was annoying then and it’s annoying now!  And I hate to burst your bubble  Jess, but I was very well aware of what I was getting into when I restarted my relationship with Logan.  It was not one of my best decisions, but it nevertheless was  _ **my**_  decision.  I own it, so don’t put all of this on Logan.”

“Okay, okay.  I still don’t trust the guy.”

“Why not?”

“Just a feeling.”

“A…feeling…ok.”

“Look, I admit he’s playing the part well.  He’s all into the possibilities and the prospects of having the baby, of the three of you being a family.  But believe me, once this kid is out and the reality sets in he is going to bolt.  I know the type.”

“No Jess, that was your father.”

“You know I’m right.”

“No. I don’t.  And even if he did, it is not like I would die without him.  He leaves, that’s fine, I am not alone.”

“He has not shown himself trustworthy in the past.”

“Jess, if we are going to judge people on their past indiscretions, then you, my friend, are in big trouble.”

Jess was about to answer when Logan walked in the door.  His annoyance at seeing Jess and Rory together was very evident.

Logan looked directly at Rory, “I heard what happened.  Can we talk?”  Glancing at Jess and then back to Rory, “Alone?”

"Sure, let’s go to my place."  Rory offered.

Five minutes later, Rory and Logan walked in the door of Rory’s apartment. “What the hell is he doing here?” the annoyed Logan asked.

“He is here visiting his family. Remember his mom does live here as does Luke.” The equally annoyed Rory answered.

“It seems that he has been hanging out an awful lot lately.”

“Not any more than usual.”

“Really? You took him to the party in Philly, you mention him practically in every conversation we have, he showed up at Lane’s party, and now he is here.”

“He’s my friend and practically a relative. We’ve known each other a long time.”

“Well, I don’t like him.”

“Yes, I know, from the very beginning you didn’t like him. I never understood why.”

“Because he still has feelings for you.”

“No, he doesn’t”

“Yes, he does.”

“Well even if he did, why do you care?”

“Because he is a threat ok? He is a threat to you and me being together. He is a threat to my kid and me having a functional relationship. You being with someone else creates another complication in an already extremely complex situation. You’re unhappy about how I feel? Well, that’s too bad because I don’t feel like I’m being unreasonable.”

“No, you’re not. “

“So, do you have feelings for him?”

“No Logan I don’t. When I said that I am not interested in a relationship, I mean that for anyone. I do not have the mental or emotional energy to deal with anything but this baby and how we are planning to parent. That’s it.”

“Well, then what is the plan? We have nothing other than the first six weeks.”

“I have thought about it. I think it would only be fair if I moved to the city. I can rent an apartment near yours and we can split the time.”

“Ok.”

“And I will look for a job.”

“So what if you can’t find one then what? What if the only thing you can find is out of the city then what?”

“I don’t know, we have to cross that bridge when we get there.”

“See, I don’t think that’s fair.”

“How is that not fair?”

“Because I have to live on pins and needles wondering what is going to happen to my family life. It would be much easier if you could just settle on something and we know where we are going.

“How?”

“I don’t know, like taking the PR job that is being handed to you?”  _The one you never bothered to tell me about,_  Logan thought.

“I am not sure, I have my doubts that it’s going to work.”

“Why not? “

“Need I remind you what happened the last time I worked for your father? The resulted in 300 hours of community service, and thousands of dollars in lawyers fees to get my record expunged.”

“This is a totally different circumstance.”

“I want to see my other options.”

“Why are you making this harder on yourself? You take the job and then in a year if you don’t like it then jump to something else. It’s all planned out for your Rory, I don’t understand why you won’t take this, other people would jump at the chance.”

“I never said I would not take the job, I just need to explore my options.”

Logan let out a frustrated laugh

‘What’s so funny?”

“A secure lucrative scenario is laid out for you, handed to you on a 24 karat gold platter in fact, and you still refuse it. You are one piece of work Ace.”

Rory suddenly had an epiphany, “So let me get this straight, your father and you feel I must take it because it will be good for me and our future. That taking this would be for my/our own good?”

“Yes, it’s the best scenario out there.”

“See? There! That’s it!”

“What’s it?”

“You! You and your need to take over of everything.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Have you been listening to what I've been saying the past year? Do you remember what I said when we said goodbye on New Hampshire? That I don't need saving.”

“Yes, you never did need saving.”

“And yet, here you are trying to save me. Wow, I used to think it was all me but I realized in just this instant, you have as much to blame as I do!”

“Again, what the  _hell_ are you talking about?”

“Logan Huntzberger, who likes to take care of everything, that way guaranteeing that everything will go the way he wants.”

“I do not.”

“And even worse, if it does not go the way he wants, he takes his toys and goes home.”

“Now you are way off the mark.”

“Really, then why can’t you trust that I would commit to staying near you so you can be a parent huh? Why is it that the best situations are the ones you arrange? Is it for me and my own good, or is it so you don’t have to worry about  _you_?”

Logan is silent.

“You know with you, when it comes to some of the important stuff, it's all or nothing. You're doing it now and you did it ten-years-ago. Did it ever occur to you that when you asked me to marry you all those years ago if you had given me just a little bit of space, I maybe would have said yes? But no, it had to be your plan, your timetable, despite the fact that you said I should make decisions about my future for me, remember? That didn't exactly happen now did it?"

Logan looked away as if he didn't want Rory to see the realization on his face. “So is that the way you see it now? Do you think that I am only doing this to control you? God, I've become Mitchum.”

“No, you have not become your father, no I don't see this as you trying to control me. But your inability to trust in me, to trust that I will do right by you and our kid is not sitting well with me. There are still many questions, but that does not mean that you and your family have to answer them for me. If I need help, I will ask. To be fair, I can’t blame you for just jumping in. You took care of a lot when we were together, you let me live in your apartment rent free when we were at Yale, you practically paid for everything during college, then you financed some my traveling to London. It was a weird dynamic we fell into. It’s something that I don’t feel comfortable doing anymore.”

“It’s because I love you, Rory. You never needed anything from me, and because of that, I wanted to give you everything. I still want to give you everything.”

“Well, everything at this moment would mean space.”

“I just need to know, are we done? Do you not love me?”

“I can't answer that question for you or anyone. Right now that door is closed. It's not locked, just closed.”

“And you have no idea when it will be open again?”

“I don't know when it will open again, and when it does I can’t promise it will be you that I will seek. It all a mystery now. It's your choice to wait Logan and how long you are willing to wait is entirely up to you.”

"Fine. Then I have to trust that you will do the right thing."

"Yes, you do."

Letting out a frustrated sigh, "I'm scared Rory. I don't want to mess this up. How am I to know it will be ok?"

"You don't. It's called a leap of faith."

"You jump you, I jump Jack."

"Exactly."

"I am still not 100% convinced."

"You have nothing to worry about."

"How do I know that? People make promises all the time."

"Yes, but I am a Gilmore. Gilmores keep their promises."


	28. Mothers' Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan clears the air with Lorelai and Shira.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter that mixes old and new. It gives some background to how Logan's family dynamics still influences him.  
> This was a killer chapter. While the spirit of the story is there, I may edit some specific a bit later.

**Mothers' Day**

 

April 2017

Stars Hollow, CT, and New York, NY

Once Logan was done talking with Rory he immediately headed to the Dragonfly.   Walking in, he made his way towards the dining room where he found Lorelai and Emily having tea.   They looked to him with a bit of surprise as he walked to their table. “Lorelai, Emily I’m sorry to interrupt.”

“That’s alright Logan. We’re just a bit surprised to see you here.” Emily replied.

“Well, I heard about the incident with my parents and I wanted to personally tell you that I have dealt with them and they will not be bothering you again.”

Emily and Lorelai looked at each other and then back at Logan, “Well, thank you, Logan.” Emily responded, “ I hope you were not too hard on them. You do understand what they did was out of concern.”

“Yes, I do, but that is no excuse for trying to involve you in any of their fiendish plans.”

“Well, we do what we need to do,” Emily responded looking at him and then to Lorelai. “Well, if you will excuse me, I think I’ll rest up a bit before dinner. See you at six Lorelai?”

“Yes, mother,” Lorelai responded.

Logan helped Emily out of her chair and they said their “good-byes”, leaving Logan alone with Lorelai.

“Care you join me for some tea?” Lorelai asked Logan.

Logan knew this was more of an order than a request. He and Lorelai have not talked since he asked for her blessing to ask Rory to marry him ten years ago.   The tension between them was palpable, and it was time to clear the air.

“Sure Lorelai”

As he sat down, a waitress came around with a new teacup, a fresh pot of tea, and a plate of sandwiches.

“Try the sandwiches. They may look frilly and unappetizing, but they are really good.”

Logan had a sandwich. Lorelai was right, they were good.

“So” Lorelai started.

“Soooo,” Logan responded.

“It’s been a while. How’s life been treating you?”

“Oh, you know. Work, broken engagements, unplanned pregnancies, you know life.”

Lorelai gave Logan a sarcastic smile. “I can’t imagine you are too happy with me at the moment,” Logan said, not wanting to prolong the torture.

“Yes, well of all the situations I pictured my daughter to be in, this is probably at the bottom of my wish list.”

“And how much of this situation are you contributing to my influence?”

“50/50. I know my daughter is no saint. To be honest with you, I too feel guilt in this situation. I had no idea that she was in such a precarious state. Hell, I didn’t even know about you until last summer. She was not as forthcoming about her life as she once was.”

“Well, she was dealing with a lot of self-doubt with the job and everything else.”

“Yes, she was. As she said time and time again, she was not living her life deliberately. Now,” Lorelai paused and then continued with some emphasis, “she is and I see her getting her life back on track.”

Logan, sensing her tone, replied, “and you are afraid that I will derail her progress.”

“Well, if we are being honest here, you were part of her initial derailment. I am not blaming you per se Logan, it’s not like you deliberately set out to sabotage her, but you cannot deny that your relationship was not her best decision.”

“How do you know that? How do you know that this was actually one of the best things that ever happened to her? I mean on paper your situation was not ideal at all, but can you say that having Rory was a mistake?”

“No, my situation was not ideal, and in no way having Rory was a mistake. I know that people put themselves in precarious positions. It’s not about what happens to you, but what you make of it. What you learn from it and move on in a more positive way. I learned many things about life and about myself by becoming a mother at 16. Rory is going to learn a lot about life and herself in becoming a mother at 33. What I don’t want is for her to be stuck in that destructive circle of which you were a key player. I don’t want Rory to be dragged down by dead weight.”

“So you think I am dead weight?”

“Are you? Your relationship was not the healthiest in the world. It’s obvious that you want her back, that you want to be a family, but what does that look like Logan? Do you go on the way you have the past years  because the way I see it if you continue on in the manner that you have, your relationship is doomed.”

“Look, I know that the way we carried on was not the best reflection of us. If I could go back and change things I would, but I can’t so now I have to move forward and try to be better.”

“And what does that entail?”

“Supporting her during the pregnancy, being a good father, letting her do what she needs to do personally, being honest with her about how I feel and communicating that to her.”

“So you weren’t honest with her before.”

“I am assuming you know how we reconnected and subsequently got back together.”

“I know the highlights, but not the gory details.”

“Then you know about the whole “Vegas” agreement.”

“Yes, which you willingly entered into.”

“Willingly yes, albeit reluctantly.”

“Really.”

“After we…got together, I was ready to break it off with Odette. I knew that day that Rory was the one for me. But then she brought up “Vegas”. It broke my heart Lorelai. I thought she did not love me the way I loved her. Yes, I should have walked away, but I couldn’t. Yes, the affair was partly because of my guilt over obligations to Odette and my family, but most of it was my hope, my hope that Rory would tell me that she loved me and wanted to give our relationship a try. Had she done that at any point in the past two years, Odette would have been gone.”

“I see.”

“I told myself that being with her was a way to get her out of my system once and for all.  But, to be honest, I was scared Lorelai, scared of losing her. I could not give her up. So I took what I could get and I played along. Come on Lorelai, have you ever been so scared of losing something or someone that you played along hoping that things would change?”

Lorelai considered Logan’s word. She thought about the months she spent biting her tongue and agonizing over Luke when he first found out about April all those years ago. Her not being honest about her feeling led to her and Luke breaking up and her eventual failed marriage to Christopher.   Seeing Logan’s situation in this light, Lorelai felt sympathy for him.

“Looking back it was stupid, but in a way, it’s also what has gotten me to life as it is today, and to be truthful, I can’t say that I am totally unhappy about it.” Logan continued, “Rory and I have a chance to be together, and this time I am doing everything I can to make it work.

“Ok then,” Lorelai replied, “I now understand. To be honest, I can’t say that I can harbor any hatred towards you. You have been rock solid through this whole situation; there are men would have bolted. I am just wondering Logan what happens if things don’t work out, what happens that is after all of this, Rory decides that she doesn’t want to be with you? Will you be able to handle that?”

“I think at this point that is not the question. Rory and I are inextricably linked no matter what. If our relationship plays out that way, then I guess I will have to deal, because there is no way I will let anything come between me and my child. However, until that happens, I am going to do everything in my power to make us a family. I don’t care if I have to wait a year or a hundred year. Until Rory tell me definitively “no” then I’m going to keep fighting.”

“Well, alright then,” Lorelai said with a slight smile.

“Alright then.” Logan grinned back.

Lorelai took a sip of her tea, “Why do I feel the need to order pie with vanilla ice cream?’

___________________________________________________

The following Tuesday evening Logan found himself in his office waiting for his mother. The day after their confrontation at the basketball game, Shira called a meeting to “clear the air”. At first, Logan balked at the idea, but he decided that a conversation was needed just to set the boundaries for him and Rory once and for all.

Shira arrived at his office at 5 pm sharp. Logan invited her in, greeting her with a kiss on the cheek and offering her a drink. She sat on the sofa, while he took a seat in the chair opposite her. “So were you able to smooth things over with the Gilmores?” Shira opened.

“Yes, all is good. I don't’ think they will be inviting you to dinner anytime soon, but it’s all good.”

“It was not my intention to insult them. I just wanted us to be on the same page. I did it…”

“…You did it for me. Yes, you said that mom.”

“You don't’ believe me do you.”

“I think that you have your own idea of what is good and not good for me. Really mom, if you were so concerned, why didn't you just ask me?”

“Logan, be honest, would you have told me anything of substance? I have tried to talk to you but you always put me off, so secretive. I ask your sister and she is the same way, ‘don't’ worry about it mom, it’s handled’ what the hell does that mean?”

“Ok, fine. Let’s get it out in the open. Ask me anything.”

“Why did you and Odette break up?”

“I told you it just wasn’t right.”

“And this is how both of you felt, or you just trying to save Odette from embarrassment?”

“What are you talking about? Odette was seeing someone else and set to leave me.”

“But you were seeing Rory. Do you think that had anything to do with Odette straying?”

“What do you mean?”

“Perhaps she sensed that you were not 100% committed which opened her up so seeking someone else? Alienation of affection is not so far-fetched.”

Logan took a moment to contemplate this thought.

“No mom, in the end, it just wasn’t right. If it were, Rory would not have even been a thought.”

“Then why? Why did you have an affair with Rory?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Well then uncomplicated it for me.”

“Why? Why is it so important for you to know the details?”

“Because I need to understand how you ended up in this situation in the first place.”

“Again, why do you need to know?”

“Because I’m your mother Logan! Because your life was going well and now it seems it's careening towards a cliff, and I am worried sick.”

“Mom, the reason why Odette and I did not work is for the reason we stated, it just wasn’t right. To be truthful, while Odette and I got along great and yes, I did love her, there was always something missing in our relationship, but I always found ways to explain away that feeling. It wasn’t until Rory and I reconnected that I realized what it was; I just wasn’t over her.   Seeing Rory while I was engaged to Odette? Yes, put that on the top of the list of all the less than stellar decisions I have made in life. However, Odette is now with who and where she truly belongs and I am happy for her. I am not sorry for where I am in life. There were a myriad of reasons why I did what I did and yes, in hindsight, they were all flimsy reasons, but as I have said time and time again, in the end, everything worked out for the best. So accept it and move on.”

“The fact remains, Logan, you are still want to be with Rory. It’s wonderful that you want to be a father, but I am not confident that being with her is the best decision for you.”

“Why the hell not? Is it because of she doesn’t have enough money? Is it because of he parents? This is 2017 mom, there have been far worse scandals that Rory.”

“She’s a lovely girl Logan, but she was not raised in our world. You are on the track to be the Chair of Huntzberger Media. Do you know what that entails? That’s a lot of time at work, your personal life and family will need to take a back seat to that responsibility. Odette grew up in that world she understood it. Rory did not. Rory did not grow up with a father, so I suspect that this time around she would want someone who is around. For all you know, your two could get married and then divorce in ten years because you are not around enough. I want you in a stable relationship with someone who will _understand_ you and the life you are living. I don’t see Rory being that person.”

“Wait, this past Saturday it was all about us needing to get married, now you say she is not a good match?  If you feel that way then why that ridiculous meeting with the Gilmores?”

“I was giving Rory one last chance. I was hoping that including Francine in the discussion could persuade Emily to get Rory to…adjust her expectations. I was hoping that between the three of us we could groom Rory into the role. Obviously, I was wrong.”

Logan looked at Shira in utter disbelief.

“Mom, what the hell? Who do you think you are? Who do you think we are? How do you know that Rory would not be able to adjust to me, my job, this life? You NEVER took the time to get to know her. Say that Rory and I did not end up together, the fact that she and I are parenting together still puts her in the same position as far as raising our child so your arguments against her are pretty thin.”

Shira sat sipping her drink looking uncomfortable while Logan got up to continue his rant.

“And what makes you think that Odette would have put up with that as well? “

“Well Logan, she grew up in that world. Her father took the same approach when it came to growing his business…”

“…and she hated it! Need I remind you that Odette’s parents had one of the nastiest divorces in history? You think Odette wanted any part of that life? You’re wrong.”

“How can you say that? She was planning a big elaborate wedding, with so many important people on the guest list…”

“…No mom, YOU and Jeanne-Marie were planning a big elaborate wedding. We just went along with it…”

Logan stopped mid-sentence, realizing what he’d said.

“I’m sorry, what did you mean by that?” Shira asked bringing Logan back to the present.

“Odette and I were never into that wedding. That was all you and Jeanne-Marie. We just went along with it because…it was easier than having to deal with your nagging. In the end, we let your expectations run the show.”

Logan became quiet. Over the past few years, ever since his decision to come back to the family business, he had prided himself on how independent he had become. Only now did he realize how much his family still influenced him and how old patterns when it came to dealing with his family were still being followed.  He felt like Michael Corelone being sucked back in.

“Well, that’s not happening anymore. Odette and I are done.” He finished.

“Fine Logan, you and Odette are not going to reconcile. I will accept that. I still don’t think that you are Rory are the best match.”

“That’s funny mom because you weren’t exactly born and raised in the world of country club set.”

“Yes, but I understood what was it takes to be in this family. I learned, I adapted, and look at us now?”

Logan took a moment to digest what his mother said. Yes, individually his parents were at the top of their game but, in his opinion, the rest of their lives were a mess. While they were fine with it, Logan knew it wasn’t the life he wanted to lead.

“You really believe that Rory will get in the way of my success?”

“Yes, you need a woman who will help you….”

“What if your idea of success is not mine?”

“What do you mean?”

“What if we don’t agree on what “successful” means?”

“I don’t understand! You seem all for it before. You’ve been working so hard all these years.”

“Well, circumstances have changed. Rory and the baby changed things.”

“How? By lowering your standards?”

“No, if not anything they have raised the stakes. Mom, _I_ decided what is important to me and at this point being number one? Being Master and Commander of it all at the expense of my family? You and dad may have found that acceptable, but I don’t.”

“You sound as though your father and I did this for selfish reasons. We worked hard to give your sister and you the best life possible. You can do and be anything you want thanks to us.”

“Well, then what I want is just to be…ordinary. I want to be the guy who goes to work, does his job well, and then comes home to my family. Whether or not that involves Rory is still up in the air, but I will for damn sure be there for my kid.”

“What about your job? You are being groomed to be the chair.”

“How did you and dad get it in your head that I have to be the chair of  Huntzberger Media?”

“It’s what your Grandpa Eli wanted.”

“No, Grandpa always wanted the company to be headed by a Huntzberger.   Dad, the ass that he is, makes an excellent Chair; he knows this business, he enjoys it. I, on the other hand, do not feel the same.”

“Well if not you, then who?”

“Darby seems to be more of the heir apparent that I am.”

“Logan,” Shira responded somewhat sarcastically, “Really?”

“Yes, really. Why not? She single-handedly saved the licensing deal with Univision last year. She can recite domestic and international media policy in her sleep. She is the mother of all dragons when it comes to negotiation. More importantly, she loves the business.”

“She is also your cousin.”

“Mom, we are not the Royal Family, we are a media company. There is no bloodline heir apparent. In fact, operating that way is business suicide. What ever hang-ups you and dad have over letting another Huntzberger take over the is your issue.”

“So really? You are willing to just stay where you are professionally and not move ahead?”

“What I am saying mom is that my focus now is on my family. They come first. If in the future the dynamics of my family allows me to be board chair, then it will happen. If not, then I can live with that. But being the ruler of it all at any cost? Not all that important.”

“Ok Logan, I am hoping that you won’t live to regret this.”

“Mother, I would rather regret not being board chair then regret not knowing my family.”


	29. Parental Aspirations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory and Logan discuss what kind of parents they want and hope to be.

**Parental Aspirations**

May 2017

New York, NY

 

It was a damp and cloudy Friday morning, the kind of day that would make one want to play hooky from life, skip work, stay home and read a book. Rory and Logan were doing just that, partially. Today they were intent on completing their baby registry. With the shower Shira was hosting taking place in a few weeks, she was calling them daily with reminders get the registry together. Although Rory offered to take care of the whole thing on her own, Logan insisted on participating, “If we’re going to get free stuff from my mom’s friends, we might as well milk it for all its worth, right Ace?”

They started the day at Babies R Us, “to keep things egalitarian” as Rory insisted. With the advice from Honor, Lane, and Paris, Rory and Logan spent the morning finding and registering for much of the basics. Next, they went off to Babesta, a boutique that Honor and Paris recommended for the more unique and upscale items ‘to keep the air of luxury for my mother” as Logan put it.

Between picking out furniture, debating rockers over bouncy seats, getting tangled in baby carriers, stroller races, and analyzing the merits of shopping cart covers, pacifier wipes, and diaper genies, Rory and Logan found the experience more enjoyable than expected.  With their mission accomplished, Rory and Logan ducked into their favorite neighborhood bistro for lunch. The bistro was near both their workplaces and became the go-to place when they met for meals during the week. They were there so much that they not only had their own table, but the waiters and waitresses automatically brought them their standard drinks. “So that wasn’t so painful, ” Logan said as he drank his iced tea, “Yea”, Rory replied, “for some reason, I thought we would have disagreed more.”

 “Are you surprised we didn’t”

 “Well, I was about to go 12 rounds over the diaper wipe warmer,”

 “Ace, that was a joke!”

 “Yes, now I know that. You really had me going.”

 “Really? You thought I was serious?”

 “I claim pregnancy brain.”

 “You know you won’t be able to claim that for much longer.”

 “No, after that I can claim ‘momnesia’.”

 “So you pretty much have a physiological excuse for gullibility and/or absentmindedness for the rest of your life?”

 “Yes, and when you gain the ability to push a human being the size of a small watermelon out of a 10cm diameter portal in your body, then you can claim it to.”

 “Touche Ace.”

 Rory smiled at Logan, he smiled back. All of a sudden Rory started feeling self-conscious and looked away.

 “Logan? Have you ever pictured exactly what kind of parent you want to be?”

 “Yes. It’s been pretty much present in my mind ever since you told me.”

 “Would you care to share any insights?”

 “You mean other than the opposite of pretty much everything my parent did?”

 “Yes, but what does that look like?”

 “Well, as you know, I was pretty much raised by a nanny, and I don’t want to repeat that. I guess the best way to put it is I want this kid to feel “grounded”; I want him or her to feel like s/he has a solid foundation. That was something I didn’t have as a kid. Yes, there were a ton of expectations, but not a lot of support. I never felt rooted or really attached to anyone or anything, until…well…”

 “Until when?”

 “Until we got together.”

 “Oh…”

 “Anyway, the way I see this happening is for me to make a conscious effort to be more “hands-on”? I mean I know we are going to need and have a lot of help at the beginning, but beyond that, I want us to do things on our own as much as possible. I think not having a live-in nanny is a good idea because it will force us to do things ourselves. I am prepared to change the diapers, do laundry, give baths, read bedtime stories, the whole nine yards. I want to take the kid to the park on Saturday mornings, be present at all the doctor’s appointments, be part of the decision about school, be there on all the first days of school, homework, soccer games, dance recital, band concerts, science fairs, you name it. I just want to be present, I want real interactions, I want to  _know_  my kid. And,” Logan added with a grin, “I want every birthday cake to be a plain sheet cake with buttercream frosting.”

 Rory couldn’t help but smile at that last statement. “What about you Ace?” Logan asked,  “I can’t see you having too much anxiety.”

 “Why? Because I had such a ‘perfect’ childhood?”

 “Well, I wouldn’t you say that, but you did have a happy childhood, right”

 “Yes, yes I did. Despite not having much, I can say that my childhood was ideal. However, that doesn’t mean that I would want to repeat everything my parents did.”

 “Really? I can see that with your dad, but you and Lorelai are pretty tight. In fact, you have the best parental relationship of anyone I know. What would you change?”

 “My mom had a policy, “best friends first, mother and daughter second”, as a little kid, that’s great because I always had someone to play with, to feed my imagination, to let me explore who I was. But as I got older, I don’t know, perhaps I could have done with a little more structure? Maybe I would have benefitted from not being so privy to some aspects my mother’s personal life? At the time I thought it was ok, but looking back…there were times when I needed a mom and what I got was a best friend. It’s not that she let me run wild, well not that I would have run wild, but she had the mom card and maybe she could have played it more than she did. I don’t fault her for wanting to have that kind of relationship with me, seeing how terrible her relationship was with my grandparents when she was growing up. That and being a single parent, well, it can make issues with personal borders and parental guidance somewhat murky. I think this generation could benefit from a bit more “parent” and less “friend”, but only by a little”

 “Wow, and here I thought Lorelai was the perfect parent.”

 “Oh, Lorelai is not perfect, not by a long shot. She would tell you that herself.” Rory paused for a moment, “I had a really interesting talk with my dad the other day.”

 “Really? What about?”

 “About him letting my mother raise me alone.”

 “That must have been an intense conversation.”

 “Well, it wasn’t the first time we had this conversation. Although it is the first time that he shared some real insights.”

 “So what brought this on?”

"My book.  I had Doyle review it and he said there was not enough of me in it.  Consequently, in putting more thought into it, issues regarding my father's absence started coming out. “

 “Great psychological breakthroughs like you see in the movies?”

 “No, nothing dramatic. There was no weeping and wailing or gnashing of teeth,  or some grand realization of this great subconscious voice influencing my every move.  However,  it did bring up some questions, questions that my father was finally able to answer. It gave me a better understanding of the big picture of my family dynamics and ultimately myself.

 “Like what?”

 “Like why he and my mom didn’t stay together. Why he continued to stay away while I was a kid. I also learned some very interesting things about his side of the family. Did I ever tell you about my one interaction with his father?”

 “No, you didn’t.”

 “I was sixteen. Mom and I had just re-established ties with my grandparents. Dad came to town for a visit and my grandma arranged for us to have a family Friday Night Dinner with the Haydens. Needless to say, it was a bad idea. It wasn’t long before everyone started screaming at each other. Straub referred to me as “that girl” and accused mom of not only ruining my Dad’s life but also essentially breaking the Hayden family. He was so angry, and he made me feel so awful; like my existence destroyed everything.”

 “Wow, what an ass!”

 “Yea, I seem to remember Grandma referring to him in that way that night. She assured me that he was a jerk and that “my existence was not a regret.” My mom and dad and I had a long talk about it afterward as well, but you know, I could never quite get Straub out of my head. I am just realizing how that night influenced the some of the choices I made in life.”

 “Like how?”

 “That I had to do well. That I had to succeed to show that all the sacrifice that others made for me was worth it.”

 “Ace, come on, he was an ass, you shouldn’t sweat the opinions of idiots.”

 “Yes, I know, and I did for the most part, but there were times that I let the memory of his opinions really affect me. I mean really sink its hooks into me and that dragged me down.”

 “Like when?”

 “In college, after that episode at dinner with your mother and then with the internship with your dad. I mean, it made me want to steal a boat and drop out of school!”

 “Yes, but you came back and killed it! Phi Beta Kappa? Editor of the  _Yale Daily News_? Obama Campaign? Those are no small accomplishments.”

 “Yes, but then things took a downturn. I have to confess, I let that notion drag me down again.”

 “Well, he was wrong.  Everyone stumbles.  It's not what happens to you, but how you respond, and so far you’ve responded well.   You have a job, we are functional, your family and friends still love you, things are looking up.”

“Yea.  Anyway, that conversation with my dad helped.  I learned more about him, his circumstances when I was born and growing up, Straub and Francine and their relationship. Ultimately I learned it was best that I grew up the way I did.  Hard as it was at times, with a family like the Haydens, it was best that I wasn't exposed to them.”  
  
“Do these new insights have any impact on how you see our situation?”  
  
“Well yes.  I know that you are all in and that your sister is in, but what about your parents and the rest of your family?  I know so far they have been supportive, but in all honesty, I am still waiting for the other shoe to drop.   I realized the impact of and on your family was one of the reasons why I waited so long to tell you.  I did not my kid to shoulder the responsibility of the ruining the “dynastic plan.”  
  
Logan considered Rory's words.  Given all that was put into his marriage to Odette, combined with Rory’s history with his family, Logan could understand her anxiety.  
  
“Well, you don't have to worry about my parents.”  
  
“How can you be so sure?”  
  
“I'm sorry you had to go through that with Christopher's father Ace.  Really, he was a miserable ass, and I can see how that situation would make you feel cautious regarding my family. However, the fact that my mother is throwing us a shower? Publically acknowledging our situation proves her support, at least for the kid.   They really cater to the grandchildren so I cannot see them ever being intentionally malicious towards the baby.   Now, it will not be perfect and I am sure there will be skirmishes ahead, but I think that would happen marriage or no marriage, Odette or no Odette.  Just know Rory, the baby and you are my top priority; you two will always come first. I would never allow our kid to be treated like you were by anyone family or not.  Know that any drama my family tries to stir, I always, _always_  have your back.  ”  
  
‘Thanks, and same for you.  Yes, as long as we keep focus on us, then we'll be ok.’  
  
Lifting his glass,  "Agreed".

 “Yes, we just need to focus on our own parental aspirations. Focus on the kid, and the rest will take care of itself.”

 “It’s good we have each other, we can keep each other in line.”

 “Explain?”

 “I mean, call each other out when we are veering in the wrong direction. For example, if I am missing in action because of work or some other task, you have the right to call me on it.”

 “I don’t want to nag.”

 “It’s not nagging if I give you permission.”

 “Ok. If I am too much in friend mode when I should be in parent mode.”

 “I promise to pull you back in.”

 “Good. Well, I don’t think that it will be too hard for you. The fact that we are sharing custody kind of puts some structure in your life. I mean you will only have the baby to yourself two nights out of the week and every other weekend. So you will have “off duty” time to focus on other things. So in a way, that good for you.”

 “Why yes, it is,” Logan responded with a fake smile.   While the situation did bring structure, in truth it was not what he wanted.

 Rory looked at Logan and smiled, “I think we’ll do pretty well with this parenting thing.”

 Returning Rory’s smile, Logan replied, “I hope so Ace, I really hope so.”


	30. Livin' La Vida Vegas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moments that we didn't see during AYITL.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not liking Rory and Logan too much right now. They were pretty awful during this time period.

**Livin’ la Vida Las Vegas**

_November 2015_

_New Haven, CT_

_It was a crisp, sunny autumn day. Cold enough for a heavy sweater, but warm enough to forgo a heavy coat; a perfect day to see Yale beat Harvard. Standing in the parking lot of the Yale Bowl with Emily tailgating with Richard’s college friends, Rory couldn’t help but think her grandfather and his giddiness during game time. How odd, she thought, all these people looking so happy and enjoying themselves while she was feeling so melancholy. The mourning process was indeed a lonely one._

_It surprised Rory when she received the phone call from Emily asking for her to accompany her to the game. Rory soon learned that Emily had resumed her social obligations, keeping up with all the traditions that she and Richard engaged in while he was alive in the effort to get on with life and be “normal” as possible.  While Rory thought this was a bit too soon, she nevertheless wanted to support Emily as much as possible.  Unlike other grandparent oriented Yale events, Rory was actually enjoying herself.  It nice to talk about her grandfather with his friends, to laugh at stories she didn’t know, to learn more about this man who played such key role in her life. It made her feel lucky, but also sad; she so wanted her grandfather to be there with her._

_While talking with Emily and Jack Smith, one of Richards Yale classmates, out of the corner of her eye, Rory spotted Mitchum and Shira Huntzberger, perhaps among the last two_ people _she ever wanted to see. To avoid them, Rory made her excuses, telling Emily and jack that she wanted to visit with friends and would be back in time before game time._

_Alone and away from the crowds Rory made her way to the Old Campus, heading toward Branford, where she and Paris lived their_ sophomore _year. She happily found the coffee cart, parked in its usual place in the courtyard where she bought a large cup with all the trimmings. Unfortunately, she ended up spilling not only the coffee but also her change due to her miscalculating her ability to balance a large cup of coffee while putting her money away. With a frustrated groan, Rory crouched down to pick up her money. Seconds later, she sensed another person beside her, assisting her endeavor. “Oh, thank…you” she said in a bit of shock as she realized that the person kneeling next to her was none other than Logan._

_“You know if we haven’t already met, this would make a cute story.” He said with a smirk._

_Rory looked away in embarrassed silence._

_“Having a weird sense of déjà vu?”_

_Rory looked at Logan, “We seem to be running into each other in the most unexpected places lately. What are you doing here?”_

 

_"It's the Yale-Harvard Game!" Logan enthusiastically responded, trying to lighten the mood._

 

_"You came to the States just for the Yale- Harvard game?  I don't remember you being a rabid football fan."_

 

_“I'm in the States for a three-day planning meeting, I arrived yesterday afternoon.  I do confess I heard that you were accompanying Emily to the game so I came here with the hope of seeing you.  When I didn't see you at the tailgate gathering, I started casing all the coffee carts, and...here you are.”_

 

_“Well, Grandma didn’t want to attend alone.”_

_“How is Emily doing?”_

_“You know, as well as can be expected, coping as well as she can.  On the way here she was raving about the  Marie Kondo book; I'm afraid she's going to give away everything in the house.  Lately, she has been in a flurry keeping up with all her social appointments. The experts would say that she is currently in the “denial” stage of the grieving process.”_

_“Well, they were together a long time. I bet being without Richard has put her off-kilter.”_

_“Yes, well we are all off.”_

_They both stood there in awkward silence._

_“And how are you coping?” Logan asked, trying to break the tension._

_“Ok, work has been keeping me busy. I got some articles going for a couple of regional publications. Oh, and my_ Talk of the Town  _piece for_ The New Yorker _is going to be published in January.”_

_“Rory, that’s great!”_

_“Yes, I also have a piece in_ The Atlantic _that is set to be published in February.”_

_‘Well, things are looking up.”_

_“Hopefully. Freelancing is getting kind of tiresome. I am hoping to land a staff position sooner than later.”_

_“It’ll work out Ace, you're a great writer.”_

_“Thanks, thanks for your support.”_

_“Always.”_

_Rory and Logan stood there for a moment looking at each other, “Since you dropped your coffee, can I buy you another one?” Logan offered._

_A few minutes later, with their coffee in hand, Logan and Rory walked over to the nearest bench and sat down.  Remembering the abrupt ending of their last time together, they sat awkwardly, not looking at each other,  silently drinking their coffee._ _After a minute of two Rory polished off her coffee. She stood up and looked over to Logan, “I better go, thank you for the coffee._ _Logan stood up and immediately kissed her. It was a soft kiss that quickly grew more emotional and passionate. They broke apart upon hearing a crowd of voices coming around the walkway, standing shoulder-to-shoulder as the crowd walked passed them, looking as if they were caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar._

_Without looking at Logan, Rory reiterated her previous plan, “I have to go, Logan, my grandmother is probably looking for me.”_

_“Yes, yes, Emily needs you.”  Logan responded confused._

_“Well... ok then.”_

_As she walked away she felt Logan grab her wrist. She stopped but did not look at him._

_“Rory, I’m in New York until Thursday evening. I’m staying in Tribeca. If you want to come see me before I leave, I’ll make the time.”_

_Rory turned to look at him and nodded before walking away._

_Twenty minutes later, Rory arrived back at the stadium. She was grateful for the walk as it helped her get herself together. What was it about Logan that made it so hard to walk away? She was pondering this question when she found Emily waiting alone where Rory left her._

_“Grandma, I’m so sorry, I thought I was here on time, I hope you weren’t waiting too long. Ready to go to the game?”_

_“No Rory, it’s alright, I told everyone to go ahead without me. I gave our ticket to some kids a few minutes ago and told them to do what they will with them. I’m not feeling up to a football game, I just want to go home.”_

 

_“Are you okay?”_

 

 _“To be honest, I’m not really interested anymore. The only reason why I liked attending this game was_ because _it was an experience that your grandfather and I shared. Now that he’s gone, there is no point. It’s just a bunch of grown men pummeling each other over an odd shaped ball.”_

_“Sure grandma, whatever you want.”_

________________________________________________

_The following evening, Rory found herself standing in front of the entrance of a brand new sparking apartment building. As she walked through the double doors she saw Logan standing in the lobby waiting for her.   After giving her a polite kiss on the cheek Logan said, “I’m glad you called.”_

_“I’m glad for the invitation.”_

_With that they walked to the elevator and to his apartment where Rory spent the next four days._

____________________________________________

_December 2015_

_London_

_Logan sat down just as his computer started to alarm. He put in his password and pressed another button. After a few minutes, the face of Odette materialized on his screen._

_“Hey there, how are you?”_

_“Hello Cher, better than yesterday.”_

_“You solved your issue with that vendor?”_

_“Yes, it was all a misunderstanding. It seems that there was some miscommunication between the point person and the vendor. But it's straightened out, so the closing dinner of the conference should be fine.”_

_“That’s good, you must be relieved.”_

_“Yes, I am” Odette responded oddly._

_“What?”_

_“I have something to tell you that is going to be upsetting.”_

_Logan sighed and leaned back in his chair, “Ok, hit me.”_

_"So, the research colloquium with the Institue du Cancer is in January.”_

_“Yes, I remember.”_

_“Well, Celine was supposed to attend.”_

_“What do you mean suppose?”_

_“She turned in her resignation yesterday. It is effective before the Christmas. That conference is important, and since she cannot attend…”_

_“…You must do so in her place.”_

_“Yes. I’m sorry Logan, it cannot be helped. This information is very key so we are well informed for our upcoming fundraising and grant season.   I know this has been happening a lot lately, but really after this, we will have more free time.”_

_Logan contemplated what she said.   Despite everything that has been happening with Rory, Logan couldn’t help but be disappointed. It seemed lately adult responsibilities seemed to be getting in the way of Odette and him being together. Weekend getaways had been marred by work obligations. When there they did find the time there was always interruptions with issues that would take a significant amount of time. to solve.  It seemed the only time where they saw each other was if there was some event, and even then their time was split. Not being able to spend quality time together only added to Logan’s confusion over his engagement and Rory._

_Still, he understood. He could not get angry because there have been many occasions they had to put aside plans in order for him to address some work-related obligation. They were in both high profile positions so a little sacrifice was needed. Anyway, they told each other time and time again, once they were married, things would change._

_“It’s ok.”_

_“Are you sure?”_

_“Yes, I know how important this is to you. We have Christmas in Paris and New Years in New York anyway.   We will find the time to go to New Zealand later.”_

_“How about a New Zealand honeymoon?”_

_“Yes, that’s a great idea, a New Zealand honeymoon. Just don’t tell Finn.”_

_With a giggle, Odette responded, “I promise. Thank you for understanding Cher. I love you.”_

_“Love you too...”_

__________________________________________________________________________

_January 2016_

_Brooklyn, NY_

_“Done!” Logan declared with an air of victory, as he taped up the last of Rory’s boxes._

_It was moving week for Rory. After a year of paying rent for a place where she rarely spent time, Rory decided to go full on nomad and give up her apartment. Logan, who extended his trip The States for the holidays, volunteered to help Rory pack up. It was a daunting task seeing that she still hauled around books dating back to when she was born._

_“So, where is this going? “ Logan asked, surveying the scene._

_“Well, I’ve strategically packed up my stuff so I have a bit of everything in each box. When I am in New York, I will_ stay with _Paris and Doyle, so they get two boxes. I have a box going to my mom’s place and Lane’s for when I am in Star’s Hollow, and the rest are going to grandma's.”_

_“And what of that pile over there?” Logan asked pointing at a_ huge _pile of clothes and shoes._

_“That is what I am packing up for my stay in London.” Rory sheepishly replied._

_In the two weeks since the release of the_ Talk of the Town _piece in_ The New Yorker _, Rory experienced a sudden surge of notoriety. Conde Nast called a meeting and she was receiving callbacks for freelance work in smaller/local publications.   The most exciting news of all was_ talk _of a book deal, the opportunity to write a biography featuring Naomi, a book that Naomi insisted Rory write. Her upcoming meetings in London revolved around negotiations to get the project off the ground._

_“Why don’t you just ship them to my place?” Logan asked tentatively._

_“What?”_

_“My place.  I do have the room.”_

_“Won’t that get in the way of…other things?”_

_“No, it will be fine. I am just holding on to them for a “friend”. Besides, since it looks like you will be in and out of London frequently for the next few months, it makes sense. That way you don’t have to haul all that stuff around.”_

_Rory went silent.   Storing personal items at his place pushed the borders of their already stretched “Vegas” agreement. It seemed every time they saw each other, the agreement would change, Still, for various reasons, she was very tempted._

_“Look Ace, I know it seems weird, but from a practical_ standpoint _, it makes sense… I mean, you are staying at my place while you are in London working on this project after all. It just makes life simpler.”_

_Rory sat down and thought about it for a moment. The words “practical” and “simpler” resonated with her. The thought of having to haul her stuff back and forth across an ocean would be annoying. Besides, she told herself, this was temporary as the deadline for the intense research was set for September.   After that, Rory’s trips to London would become few and far between, and Logan would have…moved on to other matters._

_“Ok” Rory finally responded._

_“Great!” Logan replied, “I’ll call my assistant to make the arrangements.”_

_______________________________________________

_April 2016_

_Oia, Greece_

_Logan stood out on the balcony of his hotel suite drinking his morning coffee while staring at the deep blue Mediterranean water. Hearing footsteps behind him he turned to see Rory stepping out to join him. “Coffee...” she grunted with slight desperation._

_Logan smirked at her, “Well, good morning to you.” He said as he handed her a cup._

_After the first_ sip _she looked at him and smiled, “Good morning.” She said with a lingering kiss._

_“Did you sleep well?”_

_“Yes, I did there is nothing like the sound of the sea to lull you to sleep.”_

_“Really, is that what put you to sleep? The sound of the sea?”_

_Rory looked at Logan mischievously, “that and other things.”_

_They kissed again, but Rory broke away before letting it become more passionate._

_“Ok, we have four days,” she sternly reminded Logan, “We should at least leave the hotel at least once. There_ is _lots to see.”_

_Originally, Rory had planned to come back to London to work on Naomi’s book towards the end of the month, but then Logan convinced her to come to Europe a week earlier by proposing this last minute getaway. It wasn’t a hard sell. Having just submitted an article and with the deadline of another a month away, it was easy for Rory to rearrange her schedule. Besides, who could refuse an all-expense paid_ trip _to Greece?_

_Logan’s happiness over her agreeing to the trip was shrouded with a layer of guilt as he hadn’t exactly been 100% truthful about the circumstances of this little adventure. He had originally planned this trip with Odette as an attempt to carve out time together before embarking on a busy time at work. However, par for the course it seemed during the last few months, she had to cancel because of a work obligation. Feeling dejected and tired, and with Odette’s encouragement, Logan opted to go on the trip alone, taking this opportunity for solitude to contemplate his situation. With the wedding nine months away, Logan had much to think about. He and Odette were in discussions about when she was going to move to London, what she would bring, and whether or not they would move into a bigger place. She was currently working on securing office space for her foundation so she could set up her London base._

_Real life was progressing along rather quickly, a bit too quickly for Logan’s taste. In the months since he and Rory_ reconnected, _Logan became very good at compartmentalizing his life. He found it odd how quickly he could switch from one life to the next. It was reminded him of his father and how he could flirt with a beautiful woman at a restaurant bar one minute and then turn around and be 100% all business the next. It was a skill that was both admirable and scary. With his wedding approaching, the walls that he built to cope with his situation started to show cracks. They knew that his time with Rory had an expiration date, but now that it was on the horizon, it was hard for Logan to picture just how their ending would happen._

_But then Rory called, informing him of her trip to London. Without thinking about he asked her to join him for the weekend in Greece. Although she gave weak protest, she accepted. It was only after he hung up with Rory that the full weight of what he did hit him. Inviting another girl to a trip that was originally planned with his fiancée reached a whole new low, but this is part of getting her out of your system, he told himself, also she needed to get away because working with Naomi was turning out to be incredibly stressful._

_They spent the first two days wandering the sites; visiting the Byzantine castle ruins and the volcano, wandering around the local village, sailing, watching the sunset, and having long wine and ouzo soaked meals. On their last full day, they happily waited out the rain in their hotel room.   All the while pushing away the “real” world, living in the moment, and not discussing the state of their relationship._

_______________________________________________

_May 2016_

_London_

_As soon as she heard the front door close, Rory stood up and walked to the window, catching a glimpse of Logan and he headed down the street towards the Tube station.   She stood there for a moment gathering up all the energy she could muster in order to pack for her journey home the next day._

_Rory felt totally dejected. What started out as a promising year took a very steep downturn. It started with her meeting with Conde Nast being pushed, followed by an article for The Atlantic being dropped. Then Naomi started showing her true colors, quickly turning what Rory first believed to be a symbiotic relationship very toxic very quickly. Under the guise of “_ research” _Rory found herself in London quite often, mainly at Naomi’s beckoning.   The behavior that Rory first saw as eccentric and unique soon showed to be impulsive and annoying. Naomi started standing Rory up for appointments or, when she did make them, arrive late and rarely sober.   When they did have time together, Rory felt more like her personal assistant or babysitter than biographer/writing partner. Almost every fiber of Rory’s being was telling her to abandon ship and drop the Naomi project, but she felt like needed this, she would say to herself, don’t give up, bear down and deal which she did, throughout all the drunken ramblings, the arguments over mice and whales, the missed appointments, and mood swings._

_Yet, throughout all this, she still had Logan. No matter what kind of day she had with Naomi, coming home to him always made her feel better.   He always listened to her vents, provide opinions and advice when needed, and just be encouraging and supportive in general.   Rory not being able to extend her stay in London because of “her” was a glass of cold water in her face; long weekends in Greece, playing house weeks at a time, texts, e-mails, Facetime conversations did not erase the fact that Logan would be married at the end of the year and they would be over._

_But this is what you signed up for, she thought to herself. This is what Vegas was all about. You made your decision, and now you have to live with it. Finding her resolve, Rory started to pack, promising herself to make the most of her time with Logan while with him and focusing on moving forward._

___________________________________________________________________

_August 2016_

_Stars Hollow_

So is this rock bottom? I hope it is, I don't think I can take anymore. _It was the middle of the afternoon and Rory was in bed, hiding from the world._

_In a matter of four months, Rory’s world had come crashing down. Her journalistic reputation tarnished thanks to her less than stellar submission to GQ and her disastrous interview with Sandee Sez (not to mention engaging in a one-night-stand with a source that she prayed no one would find out.)  Emotionally tired and monetarily exhausted, she moved back home where, much to her chagrin, everyone treated her with pity. Babette lumped her in with the “Thirty-Something Gang” giving her "advice" on what to do next at every opportunity.  Taylor would constantly quote unemployment statistics to her whenever they saw each other, while Kirk would offer her work at his various business ventures (I wouldn't be able to pay you right away, but you would have exposure.)   The girl who inspired so much pride and inspiration in her youth had now become a cautionary tale. It was not the best feeling_

_Then there was her situation with Logan. After not seeing each other for weeks, they made arrangements for her to go to London. However, after a particularly discouraging conversation with April,_ _Rory reached out to him, seeing if she could begin her visit early. It was then that she learned that Odette had moved in with him.   It was that moment that denial was no longer possible; his fiancée moved in, they were getting married, and Rory was the other woman._

 _Yes, there were moments that buoyed her. She was able to distract herself by taking over the Gazette, hoping to bring it at least to the first decade of the Twentieth Century. Thanks to a brief yet enlightening talk with Jess, she took his suggestion and took a shot at writing a book about the one subject she knew best: Her and her mom.   Working on the book became a lifeline. Never in her life was writing so effortless. It was like the words were already stored in her brain just waiting for the right moment to be released. For the first time in a long_ time _she was proud of her work, and she couldn’t wait to share it with her loved ones._

_Which brought her to the events of today. The idea of the book was immediately shot down by Lorelai, who saw the work as an invasion of privacy. Lorelai’s disapproval led to the biggest fight they had to date. It was so bad that Rory left Lorelai’s house and moved in with Lane and family._

 _The situation with Logan was not much better._ _While she knew that their relationship had an expiration date, she did not expect the end to happen so abruptly. Surely Logan knew when Odette was moving to London, yet he gave her no notice. Their plan was for her to come to London in two weeks when Odette was scheduled to be away. Then, Logan assured her, they would talk about their situation. After her fight with Lorelai, all she wanted to do was talk to Logan but felt like couldn’t. For a whole day, she fought every urge to call him, failing a couple of times only to hang up after a ring or two. Then during a conversation with Lane, she called him without_ even _thinking. After a few more hang-ups they finally talked. It was the worse conversation ever._

_"I guess that's it. We're breaking up. Except we can't break up, because we're nothing."_

__________________________________

_September 2016_

_London_

_Logan was in the office working late when Colin Facetimed him. “Wow, you look like shit.”_

_“Nice to see and talk to you too,” Logan replied sarcastically._

_‘Where are you?’_

 

_“ In the office.”_

_“Again? What bidding does Emperor Palpatine have you doing now?”_

_“Nothing, I’m just trying to get ahead on some stuff.”_

_“Turning into a regular workaholic I see.  What?  Doesn't Odette want you home?"_

_“Just trying to keep on top of things.  Odette understands.”_

_“Really?"_

_“Is there a reason why you called?”_

_“Well, since you have not been returning my texts or e-mails, I thought that before I flew to London and cornered you I would at least call to try to get you to pin down a plan for your bachelor party.”_

_“Really? Is that necessary?”_

_"Is what necessary?"_

 

_"The bachelor party."_

_“I’m sorry? What was that? Is the bachelor party necessary? Well, it’s only the most important day of your life!!”_

_“I thought my wedding day was the most important day of my life.?”_

_“It’s a very close second. Besides, who knows how many weddings day you will have.”_

_‘Hey, that’s not funny! Why are such an ass, Colin?”_

_“Sorry, don’t get so defensive, it was a joke.”_

_“Well, it’s not funny.”_

_“Why? This isn’t the first time I have made that joke. My, you are so sensitive lately. Getting cold feet?”_

_Logan didn’t answer._

_“Logan? “ Colin asked now with concern, “What’s going on? ARE you getting cold feet?"_

_“I’ve had a lot on my mind lately.”_

_“Uh huh? And what does this have to do with your upcoming nuptials?”_

_“I am just wondering…”_

_“Wondering?”_

_“You know, the standard question of whether or not this is the right things to do.”_

_“So you’re having doubts.”_

_“Doesn’t everyone have doubts?”_

_Colin went silent for a minute._

_“Logan?”_

_“Yes, Colin?”_

_“Do these doubts have anything to do with a certain roving journalist who has been spotted in London fairly recently?.”_

_Logan looked at Colin gobsmacked._

_“What do you know Colin? How do you know Colin?”_

_“How I know? Social media. I follow Rory’s Instagram. She doesn’t post much, but what she has posted in the last few months has been very telling. As to what I know, up until a few seconds ago was all speculation. Care to confirm or deny the speculation?”_

 

_Logan was reeling in shock. While he did not follow Rory on Instagram, he knew that she would never post pictures of the two of them together._

_“What exactly did she post raised that suspicion?”_

_“Well, she posted a picture of her in front of Big Ben. At first there we wondered…”_

_“We?”_

_“Finn, Robert, and me.”_

_“Oh. ”_

_“Anyway, with her being in London and you being in London we wondered if you two had gotten in touch. Since you didn’t say anything and she didn’t post anything we assumed no. And then…”_

_“And then?”_

_“She posted that sunset picture in Santorini, with the date being during the exact same time YOU were in Santorini. Really Logan, how could we NOT speculate.”_

_“Oh.”_

_“So? Want to fill me in on the details?”_

_For the next hour, Logan filled Colin in on all the details of the past year. He told him about reconnecting in Hamburg, how they got together weeks later in London, their “Vegas” agreement and how they stretched the boundaries of that agreement. He talked about the confusion he felt during their relationship, how he almost ended things with Odette, and his last conversation with Rory where she ended things._

_“Wow,” Colin said when Logan finished, “just wow. So now what?”_

_“Nothing, it’s over. Odette has moved to London and Rory is out of the picture.”_

_“And you’re okay with that.”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Bullshit.”_

_“What?”_

_“Bull. Shit. If you were so ok with this then why are acting and looking like crap? Becoming a workaholic? Not interested in your own bachelor party? Grumpy and moody? You know the last time you acted this way?”_

_“When?”_

_“The FIRST time you and Rory broke up.”_

_Logan was silent again._

_“You’re going to have to find a way to deal because you were a mess the first time. This time you have a fiancée and a wedding to deal with. This is not something to take lightly Logan.”_

_“Of all the people to lecture me on life.”_

_“Well, I am not the person engaged but still not over my ex.”_

_“I am over Rory Colin.”_

_“Again, bullshit.”_

_“That’s not it. You know what it is? Closure. The way things ended was so messy.   She was so hurt during that last conversation. I don’t want her to feel that way. She was already feeling like crap and I just heaved on more. I never wanted to hurt her, and I did in the worse way.”_

_“Well then get your closure.”_

_“I’ve tried, she won’t answer my calls or texts.”_

_“Well then go see her.”_

_“She won't’ see me.”_

_“And that has stopped you before? I remember someone who bought out a coffee cart for a day to get Rory’s attention, and you are giving up now? Come on Logan. You should at least try. If you don’t it will hang over you for the rest of your life. You need to close the Rory chapter of your life once and for all. Go see her.”_

_“Colin, she won’t see me.”_

_“Well, maybe we can help in persuading her.”_

_“We?”_

_“I’m game, and I'm sure Finn and Robert would be up to a bit of plotting. If not anything it will save us from another round of 'Post Rory Stress Disorder.’ Seriously, dude, you were painful to be around back then.”_

_Logan smiled. A wave of relief washed over him. It felt good to finally unload this burden._

_“I’ll have to think about it,” Logan said._

_“Ok. Just let me know. Really Logan, anything you need.”_

_____________________________________________________

_October 2016_

_B &B in New Hampshire_

_There she was again, standing there as she watched him walk away and out of her life for good._ Don’t go!!!!!! _She screamed in her head, but her body didn’t cooperate. She just stood there immobile and silent. Hearing the clicking of the door as it closed behind him was like a knife through the heart. She felt like she could barely breathe. However, the moment quickly passed and her body relaxed. She closed her eyes and began to breathe deeply. After a few breaths, she opened her eyes, feeling clarity for the first time in a year._

_“Enough”, she heard herself say, “enough…”_

_______________

_There he was again, walking away from her. He couldn’t get out of there fast enough, As soon as he was out the door he quickly got into the car and started driving toward the diner where the boys were waiting. Once he was at safe distance, he pulled over,  trying to get his bearings._ Don’t go back, don’t go back _he chanted to himself aloud, his mind willing his body to fight every impulse to turn the car around. He could barely breathe. However, the moment quickly passed and his body relaxed. He closed his eyes and began to breathe deeply. After a few breaths, he opened his eyes, feeling clarity for the first time in a year._

_“Enough”, he heard himself say, “enough…_


	31. Vindication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory is in the home stretch of her pregnancy. She is transitioning from the working world to her maternity leave. During this process, she gets an unexpected call and an unexpected offer.

**Vindication**

**June 2017**

**New York, Stars Hollow, and New Haven**

 It was the last day of work for Rory at MN Designs.  As she sat in her office amongst the boxes and stacks of files looking out at the hustle and bustle of Fifth Avenue, she felt a bit melancholy.  She was satisfied with the work that she did over the past six months, happy to have had the opportunity to immerse herself in something interesting and real.  She was grateful for the opportunity to work with such creative, interesting and passionate people. She was also sad because she was going to miss the people, this job, everything that had to do with this life. 

“As you know, this is Rory’s last day.” Moses announced at the end of their last status meeting earlier this morning, “ I just wanted to say on behalf of everyone here how grateful we are for all the quality work you did this past 6 months.  Your ability to just pick up and run with the project was instrumental in helping us get it to this point and on time and a smidgen over budget.  We will miss you, Rory.”

Rory felt herself start to tear up as everyone toasted her with their coffee cups, “I’m going to miss you too!  This was the most fun I have had in a long time."  

While she knew she would miss her job, she had other things to look forward to, namely the birth of her baby.  With the due date five weeks away, there was a long list of things, both baby related and not baby related, to accomplish.  Going through her calendar, Rory crossed off an appointment earlier this week where she and Logan finalize custody and support arrangements with their lawyers.  It was a fairly easy negotiation, as they both had pretty much the same attitude toward parenthood.  Logan, having been raised in a more formal environment, planned to be a more hands-on parent, while Rory wanted to ensure some regularity and structure.  They both agreed that they would employ a live-out nanny, who would travel with the child wherever s/he was staying.  They also agreed to split their time with the baby; two nights with Rory, two with Logan, with alternating weekends Friday-Sunday.  They agreed on child support, splitting the expenses in proportion to their income.  They also decided on little issues such as vacations (one dedicated 10 day period for each parent every year), holidays (Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, and Easter would be switched off every year ) and birthdays (always celebrated together.)  Other issues like medical directives, guardianship (Honor primary/Lane secondary), and schooling (no boarding school during elementary years, afterward it’s up for discussion with child input) were also addressed and resolved.

Rory was also in the process of transitioning responsibility of the Stars Hollow Gazette to the new editor.  It wasn’t hard, as Rory was pretty much hands off for the past six months.  Under the guidance of the daily editor, the Gazette grew into a regional literary publication.  The popularity became so much that Taylor moved to sponsor the first ever  _Star Hallow Literary Festival_  later that summer. 

Then there was her book, a project she was very eager to finish.  Reading her current version with fresh eyes made her realize that Doyle was right, she was missing from the pages. With new insight, thanks to the conversation with her father,  she had more than a few ideas on how to raise the volume of her voice in the book.   

Rounding off her task list was getting ready for the baby. There was so much to be done, and so little time it seemed.  The shower thrown by Shira Huntzberger was pleasant enough.  Rory got to meet some of Logan’s relatives and was able finally to establish a civil relationship with Shira.  The Huntzberger contingent was not surprisingly rather generous, providing Rory and Logan with many of the high-end items for which they registered, as well as other gifts that while beautiful, were not very practical.   

Still, she there was so much to do. She had her apartment to rearrange, clothes to wash and get ready, her bag to pack, baby gear to assemble. “Don’t worry, you will be ready, I will help you.” Lorelai assured Rory last week during lunch.  Yet, despite this assurance, Rory was nervous, as time seemed to be running out quickly.

As she gathered her items in a box, a phone call came in from a London exchange that she recognized but couldn’t identify for certain.  After a quick debate with herself on whether or not to answer the phone, she picked up on the 8th ring, “Hello, this is Rory Gilmore”  she greeted.

“Rory, darling…”  Rory recognized the voice right away and immediately wished she let it go to voicemail, “…it’s me!”

“I’m sorry the connection is bad, whom am I speaking?”

“It’s Naomi…Naomi Shropshire!”

“Oh…Naomi…I’m sorry, but I am bit surprised to hear from you.”

"Darling I will be in the States.  I am arriving tomorrow and will be staying for 10 days  Is there any way we can meet?”

“Regarding what?  During our last contact, you seemed to want nothing to do with me.”

“Yes, well horrible the way things ended with us…some matters have come to light…I just want to clear the air.”

“Well, my schedule is very limited…”

“I will be arriving in New York tomorrow.  Can we meet Monday in New York?”

“I’m sorry I have appointments that day.”

“How about in the evening?” 

“Evenings do not work for me as I am about 1 1/2 to 2 hours away from the city.”

“Well, can we meet half way?  Or I can come to you.  Whatever works.”

Naomi wants to come to me?!?  Rory was suspicious, however having nothing to lose, Rory played her advantage.

“I may have time later in the week.  I will need to call you back with my schedule.” 

 ______________________________________

The following Sunday morning found Rory sitting at the counter at Luke’s, staring at her phone.  “Morning kid,”  Lorelai greeted as she sat down next to Rory. 

“I just called her” Rory informed her mother.

“Who? Naomi?”

“Yep.”

“What did she want?”

“She didn’t say. It’s on a ‘need to know’ basis.  All I know is that we are meeting in the New Haven on Tuesday.”

“Ah, your old stomping ground.  Get her on your turf, good thinking!”

“Well, not so much.  She will be there any way for a meeting with some of the faculty at Yale.  It’s good, it will be nice to go back.  The last time I was there was for the Yale-Harvard game and didn’t have enough time to wander campus.”

“Where are you meeting?”

“Rich Man’s Shoe.  It’s a pub so she should feel at home.”

“Just remember to have your exit strategy ready.”

 ___________________________________

Tuesday morning found Rory roaming the Yale campus.  Exams ended the three weeks prior, and except for those who decided to stay for summer session, the school was a virtual ghost town.  Rory liked it this way, being able to walk quietly among the buildings.  She walked by her study tree, the trash can that replaced the bench where her Grandpa proposed to her Grandma, past the Daily News building, and the political science building, the Planetarium, which housed Gilmore Hall (she luckily talked her grandparents out of naming it specifically after Rory.)  She walked past the courtyard where her favorite coffee cart was always parked, and Branford where she lived sophomore year.   _This is where I met Logan for the first time,_  she thought,  _and this is where we had our first confrontation, this is the dining hall where we sneaked in after our first official date._   Upon passing the Taft building, her old apartment building, she realized that most of her memories were tied to Logan. 

She arrived at Rich Man’s Shoe, another Logan hangout, a bit early for her appointment so she could mentally prepare.  Rory thought about the last time she saw Naomi.  She was drunk, and not coherent.  She talked about writing a children’s book about Rabbits and Whales (or was it an elephant?) and wanted to kiss Rory's “sweet apple cheeks”. People had warned her about Naomi, how brilliant yet difficult she could be.  Rory saw a glimpse of this when she did her interviews and subsequent research for her article in  _The New Yorker_ but was willing to withstand her eccentricities for the sake of the opportunity to work on her biography.  In the end, it wasn't worth it, Rory knew that for sure now.  All that happened a little over a year ago, a lifetime ago.  What a difference a year makes.

“Rorrrry dahling”  Rory, heard from behind.  She turned to see Naomi, dressed in a yellow printed 50 style dress and perfectly coiffed hair.  Rory thought it made her look like Lucy Ricardo.   Rory stood up to greet Naomi, making her stop in her tracks. “Oh my God!”  Naomi exclaimed, looking and pointing at Rory’s bursting belly, “You’re with child!”

“Yes, I am.  Hi Naomi, it’s good to see you.”

They both sat down.  “I’m just shocked, completely shocked.”

“Well, that makes two of us.”

“So are you married now?”

“No, the father and I are co-parenting.”

“Are you devastated that he is not marrying you because you shouldn't be.’

 Trying to contain her annoyance, Rory changed the subject, “Naomi, why are we here?”

 “Oh yes.  Well, first of all, I would like to apologize for my horrible behavior last year.  I was not in a good place, not at all.”

“Oh, well thank you.  I am sorry that you were not in a good place.”

“Well, it had been happening for a while.  I really hit rock bottom last year.  Then I joined the Grace Belgravia Wellness club and started meditation.  I tell you it has changed my life!  I and am slowly working my way back.”

“Ok.”

“There is a book coming out about me.”

“Oh, really?”

“An unauthorized biography.  The writer is someone I met with once or twice. It didn’t work, but she decided to do the book anyway.  I am afraid it will not tell the whole story.  Anyway, my sources tell me she is already getting offers so it is sure to be published.  I would like to put out my own book to counterpoint it.”

“Ok, so why don’t you.”

“Because I want you to write it,”

“Me?!?!  Um, I seem to remember you FIRED me.  And really you did not fire me, but your lawyer did.”

“Yes, I know, and I am so sorry for that.  Part of my healing process is to face my wrongs,  and I wronged you, Rory, I so wronged you.”

“Ooo-kay…”

“Anyway, after you,  I tried other writers, but no one could capture the essence of me, better than you can.  And, I must confess, with new biography coming out I would like it on the shelves straight away.” 

“How quickly do you want it?”

“A reasonable timeline would be a draft by the end of the year, hopefully published by spring of next year.”

“Wow, that timeline is fast.”

“Yes, it is.”

“I don’t know Naomi.  I am in no shape to work on this right now.  I am due in over three weeks, and I don’t think I can start working on this until the end of August.”

“You have a lot of research already done, so it won’t be as hard as you think.”

“Does this mean traveling to London?”

“On occasion... and other places on the Continent...depends on my schedule.”

“But the baby…”

“Oh, bring her/him with.  I mean it’s London, we have the best nannies.”

“I don’t know…”

“Did I tell you that  _The New Yorker_  is still interested in printing excerpts of the book?”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Well, they are.  This could be a golden opportunity for you, Rory.”

“Yes, it could.  I’ll think about it.”

 __________________________________

 Lorelai was absolutely floored when Rory told her the news.  As they sat on the wicker couch on Luke and Lorelei’s front porch, Lorelai excitedly inquired, “So are you going to take it?”

“I don’t know, probably not.”

“Why not?”

“Because of all the traveling and the logistics.  How are Logan and I suppose to successfully do joint custody if I am out of the country?”

“Could he move back to London temporarily?”

“I don’t know, but I can’t ask him to do that.”

“You can leave the baby here.”

“That is not an option either.”

“I don’t know Rory.  This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.  This could open so many doors for you.  Get that journalism career back on track.”

“That's the problem, it  _could_. There are many things I can do that  _could_  lead to something.  I cannot afford to live on the hopes of something that  _could_ ; I need to focus on what  _is_.”

“And a biography on Naomi Shropshire is not an  _is_?”

“No, it’s an  _is_ , but a temporary _is_. A potentially big  _is,_  but nevertheless temporary.   Plus, the woman is so unpredictable. How do I know she won't change her mind at the last minute? I need a definite, permanent  _is_ … but it would be so cool.”

“The coolest!”

“Argh, being an adult sucks!”

“Yes, but you can drink legally...well not for you, but soon!”

“Tell me what to do mom.”

“Honey, I can’t do that.  I will be happy to listen, but you have to ultimately make the decision.  When does she want to know?”

“She said she would give me until August to commit.  She is still interviewing other people, but I am her first choice.”

“So, this is a "the job is your unless I find someone else" kinda deal?  Weird.”

“I know.” Rory text alert went off, “Oh, it’s Logan.  He’s at the apartment, I have to go.  Don’t tell him about this please?”

“I won't”

Rory leaned over and kissed her mother goodbye, “Lunch tomorrow?” Rory asked.

“Lunch tomorrow,”  Lorelai answered.


	32. Evaluation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan and Odette hold a post-mortem on their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter that almost never was.
> 
> It still may be. I may delete it. Sometimes I think this chapter is too much. I am curious to know what you think.
> 
> So in the past 15-years or so I have been witness to various waves of divorces. Some were not a surprise, some were a complete shock. In talking with these family and friends who have divorced, the common thread among them was "while I had some questions before we got married, I thought it was just ...(insert reason for going ahead with the marriage anyway.) 
> 
> It's with this idea in mind that I wrote Logan and Odette. Like I said before, they are a cautionary tale.

**Evaluation**

 

June 2017

New York

 

_I need to talk to you. Can you call me when you’re free?_

Feeling a bit surprised by the message, Logan immediately texted back, _I’m free now_.

 

 _Ok, I’ll Facetime you_.

 

A minute later the face of Odette appeared on his Ipad.

 

“Hey, how are you?” Logan greeted confused yet brightly.

 

“Surprise to hear from me?” Odette asked.

 

“Seeing that you’re getting married in two days? Yes.   What’s going on? Are you ok?”

 

“Logan, why did you ask me to marry you?”

 

“What?”

 

“You know what? Bad question. Better, what were you thinking when you asked me to marry you?”

 

“I don’t know how to answer that. What exactly do you want to know?”

 

“Did you do it because you thought you were in love with me? Did you see us growing old together? Did you succumb to pressure? Were you afraid to be alone? What was it?”

Logan propped his Ipad on the dining room table and sat down.   He took a deep breath not knowing how to respond.

 

“I don’t know. Everything you said and more in various degrees?” Logan responded, “Why are you wondering about this now? What happened?”

 

Odette sighed in frustration, putting her head in her hands.   After a moment she sat up and looked at Logan.

 

“Things have been happening the past month that had me thinking about you, me, Benoit, and marriage. It was driving me mad. I realized that you were the only one that could help me work through this.”

 

“Ok. So tell me, what’s going on?”

 

“At the beginning of May, Benoit and I had plans to spend the day with his family to celebrate his niece’s 5th birthday. Benoit comes from a family of six children and they very close not only to each other but also their parents. Anyway, we were set to go, but then something came up at work. In retrospect, it was relatively minor, something that could have been handled by someone else or could have waited, but I felt the need to address it anyway so I told Benoit that to go ahead without me and that I would catch up as soon as I was able and that’s when the fight started.”

 

“Fight?”

 

“Yes, the biggest one of our relationship thus far. It was a full-on argument. He accused me of not putting us, our relationship, and family first. “

 

“And how did you respond?”

 

“Well, I was flabbergasted. After all, I had been through in my life, he and family were my number one priority, and I told him as much. Then he proceeded to point out that this was not the first time me not attending to family happened. He reported about a dozen or so occasions where I either did not show up, or was very late, or was there but not present because I was on my phone. Some of them could genuinely not be helped, some of them involved my father and the wife so that somewhat understandable, but most of them? Most of them Logan could have been avoided. It was all me making other matters a priority.”

 

“Ok, so now that you realize this, make a change. This is easily fixable.”

 

“Is it?”

 

“Yes, you are self-aware enough to know when you need to make adjustments.”

 

“Am I?”

 

“Odette?” Logan said, a bit impatient, “What else is going on?”

 

“After that incident, yes, I resolved to be more aware of my priorities. Benoit and I talked it through, I apologized, he apologized and things went back to normal. And then about two weeks ago the questions started happening.”

 

“Questions?”

 

“Yes, from my father, Jeanne- Marie, my friends, Moritz, all asking in various way, ‘Are you sure you want to get married?’ I think Jeanne-Marie was the worst, ‘What makes you think that you can make this relationship work when you had way more in common with Logan.’ I think that Logan, sent me on this anxiety attack.”

 

“Yes, but Jeanne-Marie is crazy. She was more concerned about how our marriage would up her social status than if we were happy. Look at that crazy wedding she and my mother were planning. You should not concern yourself with the opinions of a crazy person.”

 

Odette was quiet

 

“Oh, but you are.” Logan continued, “Odette are you having doubts about getting married?”

 

“Yes, that’s why I needed to talk to you.”

 

“Ok”

 

“ I was thinking about us, back before we got engaged. We got along well no? We had fun, we were happy. Why was that not enough? I had never been in a serious relationship before, so I thought you were it. But then I met Benoit, and it was totally different. I had this feeling, that I was…home.”

 

“I know the feeling.”

 

“You do?”

 

“Yes, I had experienced it before, with Rory.”

 

“And not with me?”

 

“No,” Logan said apologetically, “I’m sorry.”

 

“Then why did you ask me to marry you?”

 

“You were the first woman I connected with in a very long time. Yes, our relationship lacked a certain feeling, but I thought that feeling was Rory specific, that is, she was my first real relationship and I thought that that was first relationships felt like. I was happy with you Odette, please don’t think that me asking you to marry me was in anyway insincere. I really thought you are I were it, I really believed that, until…well…the universe showed me we weren’t.” _Ugh, that sounded lame_ , Logan thought.

 

Odette went quiet.

 

“What are you thinking?”

 

“Yes, I can say that I felt the same way. I thought you were the one for me...until you weren’t. Have you ever thought about what would have happened if Benoit and Rory had not come into our lives? If we had actually gotten married? What do you think would have happened?”

 

“What do you think would have happened?”

 

“Now that I am talking to you, I think we would not have lasted.”

 

“You needed to talk to me to come to that conclusion?”

 

“Yes. You see, when Benoit and I got into that fight, I was initially offended. I thought, how dare he think that he and family were not a priority. I made a promise to myself, to not repeat the mistakes of my parents and I thought I was doing well. But then, Benoit started pointing out specific times that I did not live up to my word. It was a long list, Logan. I thought I was living up to my expectations, but I was failing miserably. It is only now I realized why. I was acting on what I learned from my relationship with you. While we always said we would but each other first, the reality was we didn’t. How many dates were rescheduled? Dinner did we miss? Holiday plans scrapped? Do you remember why we chose New Zealand to honeymoon? Because we kept putting it off that trip.”

 

“Yes, I know. If it makes you feel any better, I had a similar epiphany a few weeks ago during a rather intense discussion with my mother.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes. She believed that you were better suited for me because you are ‘one of us’. When she said that it occurred to me that we were not right for each other for that reason. Being together was a bit too easy, that is, because of who we were and what we were used to, there was no challenge. There was no “other side” to challenge our instinctive behavior. Of course we let each other put work and other obligations first an foremost, we are conditioned to do that.”

 

“What do you think would have happened to us if we did get married?”

 

“I think it would have started out great but we would have lost steam along the way. At worst we would have ended up hating each other, best we would have stayed together out of convenience or fear and lived separate lives, but still pleasant.”

 

“Basically we would have become our parents all over again.”

 

“Well, I hope that we would have treated the kids better.”

 

“Can I do this Logan?”

 

“Do what?”

 

“Get married to someone so different from me and make it work? That’s what got to me about that conversation with Jeanne-Marie. She got it in my head that I would be incapable of maintaining a marriage with someone so different from me.”

 

“Hey, Jeanne-Marie does not know YOU. She only sees you as a means to an end. Do not listen to her. You are a wonderful human being Odette, capable of so much. In your heart you know that Benoit is right for you. So marry him, be happy, and screw the rest.”

 

Odette smiled at Logan.

 

“I’m glad I called you. Thank you, I feel better.”

 

“I’m happy to be of service,” Logan replied with a smile.

 

“How about you Logan, how are you progressing. How is Rory?”

 

“She’s good. She is ready to have the baby like yesterday. Actually, I am packing right now. I am moving in with her for the next couple of months.”

 

“Oh really?” Odette exclaimed curiously.

 

“Yes, but for practicality sake, nothing more.”

 

“And you are disappointed by this?”

 

“Yes, but things are progressing, albeit slowly. I am optimistic that we can work things out.”

 

“Well, I hope that it does.”

 

“Me too.”

 

Odette started to giggle

 

“What?” Logan asked

 

“I just find it funny that I am seeking relationship advice from my ex-fiancee who I cheated on. Life is so funny.”

 

“Well like I said before, we will always be friends.”

 

“I’m glad for that Logan. I really am.”

 

“Me too Odette.  Me too.”


	33. The "Plan A" We Never Dared to Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rework of the original version.
> 
> The Logan-Taylor bromance was inspired by "Revival Remix: The Rory and Logan are Married! AU" by dollsome . If you have not read it, please do! It's sheer genius.

**The "Plan A" We Never Dared to Dream**

 June 2017

Stars Hollow

 

Rory arrived at her building to find Logan waiting patiently by the door.  “Hey you, welcome back! “ she greeted, giving him a chaste kiss on the cheek (now Rory and Logan’s customary greeting.)  “Ready to have me invade your space?”  Logan asked brightly.

“Well, it’s not like we haven’t lived together before.”

“Yes, but that was in a different context.”

“Sure, but how hard can it be?”

Logan gathered up his belongings and followed Rory inside.  With the due date fast approaching, and the idea of anything can happen at any time,  Rory and Logan agreed that this would be a good time as any for him to move in.   Because of the plan and Logan’s intention to take eight weeks off for paternity leave, Logan ended up putting in more hours and traveling than usual the last month.  Yesterday he had gotten back from his last business trip from Dallas.

Rory rearranged her apartment so to accommodate him as much as she could.  She cleared out a couple of dresser drawers and space in the closet, she made sure to stock the kitchen with his favorite snacks and bought a blender.  She also made sure to get his preferred brand of soap, shampoo, and toothpaste and place an extra cup in the bathroom.  Not wanting to banish him to the couch, Rory moved in the trundle bed from her room at Luke and Lorelai’s house and placed a screen around it for privacy. 

Logan realized immediately that living in Stars Hollow would be challenging. Although being a Huntzberger and in the media business has made him a public person, he was no celebrity, so he could go about his everyday life in relative anonymity. This was not the case in Stars Hallow as demonstrated on his first evening there when Rory and Logan went to Luke’s for dinner.   When they walked in he could have sworn he heard a collective gasp. Stares and whispers seemed to surround him, and he swore that there was a gathering of people staring at them through the window that joined the diner with the ice cream shop. Seeing his discomfort, Rory assured him, “Your imminent arrival has been all the buzz, don't worry, it will all blow over in a week or so.”

“I feel like I’m living in a fishbowl.”

“Think of it has a hazing, only for the weirdest fraternity ever.” Rory proposed with a sardonic grin.

“Just as long as there are no coffins or me having to solicit senior citizens for sexual favors.”

“No, we just lock you in a room with Ms. Patty for an hour and see if you come out alive.”

“Ace! So harsh!”

Rory started to giggle, “As harsh as being blindfolded, taken out into the middle of nowhere where I could not use words with the letter “e” and then being dared to jump off a scaffolding?” she asked brightly.

Happy that she was remembering their beginnings fondly, Logan smiled at her and replied, “Well, at least you got a free dress out of it.”

 

While the adjustment to small town life was somewhat of a trial, being together made it worth it.   By the second day, Logan and Rory had fallen into a routine.  Logan would get up first to go running, while Rory would get up a few minutes later to make coffee for herself and a smoothie for him.  They would then have a quick breakfast together before going their separate ways.  Thanks to Luke, Logan was able to set up a temporary office in the apartment above the diner, while Rory stayed home to work on her book and to help with  _The Gazette_.  They always had lunch together be it at Luke's, or the Inn, or with one of them going to their respective workplace with a sandwich.  Dinners were pretty much always at the Diner or at Luke and Lorelei’s house.  Most of the time they were joined by friends or neighbors.  Evenings were spent with the two of them together doing a task or two to prepare for the baby or just relaxing by reading or watching TV or a movie.  On more than one occasion they found themselves awakened at 2 or 3 am curled up together on the couch after falling asleep with watching TV. “Enjoy the freedom and peace while you can,” everyone would tell them with a laugh, “your life will never be the same.”

Logan’s “hazing” was not as bad as he feared. The first week he had to endure Taylor’s pontificating on the sanctity of family and marriage whenever he was in earshot. He endued an hour of baby/child rearing book recommendations from Andrew the one day he wandered into the bookstore. A day would not go by without Kirk presenting a sure-fire “investment opportunity of a lifetime”, Babette asking him rather inappropriate personal questions, or being checked-out by Ms. Patty.   Yet, by the second week, Logan was able to fall into the Stars Hallow rhythm. Kirk and Babetttes daily questions subsided, while Andrew backed off once Logan bought a couple of his recommendations. He learned that like him before, Ms. Patty was a shameless yet harmless flirt, while developing (to Rory and Lorelai’s amusement and Luke’s chagrin) an unlikely budding bromance with Taylor.   By the third week, Logan felt he had lived in Star’s Hallow his whole life.

 On the second Sunday before her due date, Rory and Logan were taking a post-lunch walk when Miss Patty flagged them down. “Hello, there you two.  How’s it going?”

“Oh, you know, we're doing well.  Just impatient and excited.”

“Oh, I can imagine.  Logan sweetheart, I was wondering if you could help me?  Some boxes of costumes were delivered to the studio yesterday when I wasn’t there and the delivery person put them in the wrong place.  I can’t move them because of my knee, could you perhaps lend and strong helping hand?”  she asked flirtatiously. 

‘For you, anything .”  Logan replied

“Well if that’s your offer…”

Rory and Logan followed Miss Patty to her studio.  She opened the door and let them in first.  Suddenly the light flipped on and they heard the roar of “SURPRISE!!!!”  It took Rory and Logan a minute or two get over the shock.  They looked around Miss Patty’s studio to see their families and close friends all gathered for a baby shower.    They were immediately led to two chairs in the middle of the room, where they sat while Lorelai welcomed them and people began to make speeches.  While this happened Rory and Logan surveyed the guest in the room.  There, of course, were the Stars Hallow people, along with Sookie and Jackson and Family, Lane Zach and the boys, Mr. and Mrs. Kim, and Brian and Gill and his family.  Michele and Fredrick were there also with their daughter Camilla.  Emily was there as well, having driven in with Christopher, Francine, and Gigi.  April came in from Boston, along with her girlfriend Selah, while Colin and Finn also joined in on the fun.  Paris, Doyle and their kids were there along with their surprise guests Madeline and Louise, while Mitchum and Shira, Honor, Josh and their kids, and a number of Logan’s other relatives rounded out the crowd.

The party, which lasted the bulk of the afternoon, was filled with food, funny childhood stories of both Rory and Logan, games and activities (including the perennial favorite, painting your own onesie), music and dancing.  By the end of the party, the exhausted Rory and Logan went home with every baby item they could use and then some. 

Rory groaned as she sat down, “Gawd, I’m am so done with being pregnant. I think I’ve eaten every spicy food available. I think I have walked more of Stars Hollow this past week than I have my entire life.”

“You know there is another way we can induce labor,”  Logan half-joked as he massaged Rory’s feet.  

“HA!  You touch me and I’ll cut you Huntzberger!”  She half-joked back, “You’re the reason I’m in this situation in the first place!”

Surveying their take from the shower, Logan an Rory laughed. “It looks like a “Babies R Us” exploded in here"  Logan marveled.

“I know.  Where are we going to put all of this?” Rory wondered.

“Well, for now, we can just box them up.  I can take half, and you can take half.”

Rory, having been so caught up in their present domestic state, forgot that she and Logan were going their separate ways in a few weeks.  The thought made her stomach flutter.

“Yes, we should.  Maybe my mom can put them in storage, or maybe we can store them at your parent’s house.  God knows they have the room."

“Hey, how about Mitchum dancing with Miss Patty and Babette?  I wonder if he’ll ever recover?” Logan asked.

“He didn’t look like he was suffering that much. 

"How about Colin and Finn with your friends Madeline and Louise?"

"Oh God, if any love connections come out of that interaction, I think that would be the sign of the apocalypse."

"You should warn Madeline and Louise about them."

"No, I assure you, if there is anyone who needs warning, it's Colin and Finn."

Rory giggled at the thought, then she became serious. “Twelve days,” she implored.

“Yep,” Logan replied with a sigh.

“How are you feeling?”

“To be honest, it hasn’t fully hit me yet.  I think it’s part denial.  If I stopped and really considered the full gravity of what is about to happen I think I might freak out.”

“Yes, I get it.  One day at a time.”

“So do you realize what day it is?”

“It’s June 25th.”

“Yes, it  _is_.  Do you remember what happened two years ago on this very day?”

After a minute it dawned on her.

“Oh my God, we reconnected in Hamburg two years ago.”

“That we did!”

“Wow,”  Rory said, remembering the events of that day.

“That was the day that started it all.”

Rory let out a little laugh.

“What so funny?”  asked Logan

“Bad weather in New York. To think that was the reason why we ran into each other in Hamburg.  Can you imagine what life would be like if the weather was clear?”

"You know, I can't imagine.  I have no inclination of what life would be like if we didn't run into each other, except I probably would be somewhere miserable as hell."

"Really?  You were engaged.  Not settled in London with Odette?"

"Ah but remember, Odette left to be with someone else.   _That_  situation was out of my hands."

"Oh yes, I forgot...how could I forget..."

"Eh, it was all for the best anyway..." Logan said, looking as though he were replaying a memory in his mind.

Rory watched him for a moment, "Hey, what are you thinking?"

The expression on Logan's face turned from pensive to an embarrassed grin, "I was just thinking about that morning when I came home and walked in on Odette and Benoit in the kitchen."

"That must have been horrible."

"It was quite a shock."

"How did you feel at the time?"

"Shocked, then disbelief, and a bit of relief.  And then anger and envy."

"Anger and envy?  That Benoit had Odette and you didn't?"

"No.  That Benoit knew what he wanted and had the courage to go after it.  That took balls you know?  I wondered, why couldn't I do that?"  

"Well, there were mitigating circumstances..."

"Yea.  Anyway, say that things did go as planned.  Yes, life would certainly be different, but not better.”

“You think so?”

“I do. These past two years have been quite a roller coaster, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way if it meant this would happen.  I am happy to be here, right now, with you.”

Rory smiled at the thought and then looked at Logan and replied, “It's the 'Plan A' we never dared to dream.” 

Rory and Logan continued to look at each other with deep affection. She felt his one hand wrap around hers, while the other brushed strands of hair away from her face.  He thought about how beautiful she was and how badly he wanted to kiss her.  He was about to do so when the expression on her face changed to surprise and slight terror.

“Ace?  What’s wrong?”

“My water just broke.”


	34. Life As It Should Be.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The big day is here. Another expanded version of the original text.

**Life as it Should Be**

June 25th, 2017

Stars Hollow, West Hartford

“Don't worry Mamma’s coming!!!!!”  Lorelai yelled as she ran from her house and jumped into the back seat of Logan’s car next to Rory.  While the drive to the hospital was typically 30 minutes, for the nervous and adrenaline pump Logan, it took only 20.  The trip would have been shorter if it weren’t for the bumps on the road and Rory yelling at him to slow down.

Rory had never been more happy to see a hospital as she was that evening.   Once they arrived and checked in Rory’s anxiety subsided knowing that in a few minutes the magic anesthesiologist would appear with her magic epidural.

However, things did not go as planned. Upon her initial exam, it was determined that Rory 7 cm dilated and in transitional labor, making it too late for an epidural. “I guess all those stories about swearing like a sailor on leave and doing the splits on a crate of dynamite did not help huh?” Lorelai told Rory apologetically after a rather lengthy wave of pain.

“No, not at all,” Rory said exhaustedly.

“Sorry kid,” Lorelai responded.

“I’ll exact my revenge later. Right now, I’m so tired.”

“You’re doing great Ace,” Logan interjected, “ You’re making this look easy.”

“You’re such a liar,” Rory replied.

“Maybe, but I know you can do this,” Logan said encouragingly. "I know you know you can too."

Later on,  when asked to reflect on the whole experience of labor and delivery Rory would describe it as profound, yet traumatic.  There were moments during the ride to the hospital and their time in triage when nervous energy sent her, Logan, and Lorelai into extremes of laughter and utter panic.  Yet through all of the emotion, she also felt a sense of clam thank mostly to the encouragement and care Logan and Lorelai provided as she fought through every labor pain. 

While she felt like it was for much longer, in the end, her labor only lasted for two and a half hours.  Just a little before midnight Dr. Miller informed her it was time to push. With Lorelai holding one leg, and a nurse holding the other, and Logan by her side holding her hand and providing support, Rory began to push. And just like that, it was over before she knew it.  After three pushes Rory felt the stage sensation of being completely emptied.  She and Logan watched as the doctor placed a bundle covered with a blanket on her chest.  They looked to see their baby open its eyes and looks straight into their souls and start to wail. 

“Oh my God”  The weeping Lorelai exclaimed, “He’s just so beautiful!”

 _He,_ both Rory and Logan thought at the same time.  _HE...I have a son._

Rory felt Logan kiss on the head and watched as he cut the umbilical cord.  While the delivery team continued their work cleaning-up both Rory and the baby, Rory took the moment to lie back and feel her exhaustion.  Logan went back to Rory, wrapped his arms around her and gave her another quick kiss.  “You did it Ace... “ He whispered to her proudly, “...and you were amazing.” 

Lorelai, who left Rory's side to help the nurses tend to the baby, returned with him in hand.   She gingerly put him in Rory’s arms and sat down to admire her daughter and her child; it made her tear up more.

With Logan sitting next to her, Rory cradled her baby and breathed him in,  "Hello there."  she said, as she let him grab her finger.  Never in her life had she felt this happy and content.  Everything was as it was supposed to be.  Rory vowed to herself that she would remember every detail of this day, even the parts that really really sucked.

 


	35. The Fourth Trimester

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time after birth is sometimes referred to in post-partum circles as "The Fourth Trimester." The transition into and learning curve of parenthood is harrowing. If you're lucky, you have a lot of help.
> 
> This is another reorganized original chapter.

**The Fourth Trimester**

 June 2017

West Hartford and Stars Hollow

Lorelai left around 2 am, leaving Rory and Logan alone to enjoy their baby and to “keep the relatives at bay.”  Before parting, she warned them, “Do NOT let anyone else know you had the baby before you are well rested and ready.”

Rory and Logan stayed up soaking in their baby.  They determined that he was Harry Potteresque; the spitting image of Logan with Rory’s blue eyes. Finally, around 4 am Rory could no longer keep her eyes open, falling fast asleep once she handed the baby over to Logan.

Logan stayed up longer, feeding the baby his bottle when he was hungry, and changing him when needed.  He got out his phone showing him pictures of the family, including Uncles Colin, Finn, and Robert, "who will always be there to bail you out, but never ever take their advice."   Together they watched the sunrise, with Logan taking selfies of them as the sunlight peeked through the windows.  Logan could not help but marvel at his son; he couldn't believe he was his. 

Around 7 am when the nurse came to do her rounds and take the baby for a hearing test.  She succeeded in convincing Logan to let her take the baby to the nursery so he too could get some sleep.  It was well past 1 pm when Rory and Logan finally woke up.  They took their time to ready themselves for the onslaught of relatives, making sure to eat and wash up before making phone calls.  Within an hour of placing those calls, the relatives began to arrive.  Lorelai, Luke, April, and Selah were first, bearing bags of food and flowers, followed by Mitchum, Shira, and Honor.  Christopher, Gigi, Francine, and Emily arrived soon after.   Christopher was the last to walk in the room, where he beelined to his daughter who was in sitting bed, “ Hi Dad” she greeted, motioning to Emily to hand the baby over to Christopher.  As Christopher held the baby, Rory made the introductions, “Dad, I would like you to meet Hayden Richard Gilmore-Huntzberger, Hayden this is your Grandpa Chris.”

Christopher looked at Rory happily stunned, “Really?” he confirmed.

 “I figured this generation should have more than just a few facial features.”

 The rest of the afternoon was a flurry of activity of relatives coming and going.  The baby was passed around so much that Rory only saw him when it was time to feed.  At around 6 pm, Mitchum rounded everyone up for a celebratory dinner. 

Lorelai volunteered to stay behind with Rory.   Upon shutting the door after the last person she exclaimed, “Finally! I thought they would never leave!”

 “So much activity and partying lately.  I can’t wait for quiet.” Rory replied.

 “Oh, honey you're a mother now.  It will never be quiet again.”

 “Thanks, that makes me feel so great,” Rory deadpanned.

 “You did great kid.  Such grace under pressure.  Me? I was screaming bloody murder the whole time.”

 “Well, I had a great support system.  Thanks, Mom, thanks for everything.  I wouldn’t have made it without you.”

 “Of course you would have, but yes, anytime.  Thank you for letting me be part of this.  Definitely in the top four coolest experiences ever.”

 “Top four?”

 “Yes, behind your birth, marrying Luke, and sneaking onto the main floor during the Duran Duran and being hit by Simon LeBon’s sweat.”

 “Eww, I would hope that Hayden’s birth comes before Simon’s sweat.”

 “Depends on his level of worship of the great Czarina Lorelai.”

 “Czarina?  Really?”

 “I think it has a nice ring to it.  So Hayden huh?  That was nice.”

 “I thought of it after that talk I had with Dad.  I was happy when Logan agreed.  Really, that kid, name wise at least, is all Gilmore.”

 “As it should be.”  Lorelai said mockingly maniacal, “So question, what would you have named the baby if he was a she?”

 "Lorelai”

 “Really?”

 “Yes, surprisingly enough, Logan really wanted to continue it the tradition.  He likes the name and plus the fact that it would annoy certain members of his family was an added bonus.” 

“Middle name continue that tradition too?” 

“Yes, it's only fitting.”

“So in continuing the tradition of honoring the non-Lorelai side, I am Lorelai Victoria after Grandpa Charles’ mother, you are Lorelai Leigh after mom’s mother, and imaginary granddaughter would have been?”

“Lorelai Nadine.

"Nadine?  Who was Nadine?  Shira or Mitchum's mother?"

"Shira."

"Shira’s mother’s name was Nadine? Really?  Huh, kinda badass.”

“Isn’t it though?  Logan really liked her.  Apparently, she was rather charming, irreverent, and fun.”

“And what would you have called her?”

“I don't’ know, maybe  Trix, Jr.?”

“Oh, Heaven forbid.”

“Yea, I think Grandma would disown me.”

“Oh well, you can save that for the next time.”

“Mom, I just delivered less than 24 hours ago.  Please don’t start talking about the next time, there may never be a next time.”

“A Czarina can dream, can’t she?  This grandkid thing is pretty addicting.”

 

Two days later, Rory, Logan, and baby Hayden were headed home.  Rory and Logan had mixed feelings about leaving the hospital.  While they were happy to be able to be home, it meant leaving the safe confines of 24-hour care.  They had been warned and read about how hard an adjustment a new baby could be, but nothing prepared them for the reality.  Rory and Logan found that every cliche, every comedic portrayal, every dramatic moment associated with being a parent to a newborn was true and then some.   The combination of an adjusting baby and parental hypersensitivity made for many tense times.  Added to Rory’s stress were her post-partum hormones which sent Rory into crying fits, extreme fatigue, and insomnia.  They both found that the hardest adjustments came in things that were unexpected; leaving the apartment just to go on a simple errand became a production, everyday baby materials such as diapers, wipes, clothes, carriers, strollers, and such took up more room than expected.  Everyday things that they took for granted such as clean laundry, washed dishes, even taking a shower became lost.  Both were so grateful for Luke and Lorelei’s help.  Luke provided a steady stream of meals, while Lorelai went to work late, making sure that Rory and Logan could get a decent amount of sleep. In the afternoons after work she and Luke would take the baby for a walk, assigning the new parents activities to help get them back on track (“We’ll be back in an hour or so.  Take that time to clean up the dishes, put away the laundry, or take a shower!") 

 

Along with Lorelai and Luke, came the parade of friends and relatives that came to visit. Logan and Rory were never short of hands to hold the baby or for food. The first weekend found The Huntzbergers spending time in Stars Hollow, where a very excited Charlotte and Theo fawned over their new baby cousin, while Chris, Gigi, and Francine would come and visit several days during the week.  Emily came the following week, giving more sleep time for Logan and Rory while she minded Hayden at Lorelai and Luke’s house.

 

By the time Hayden turned a month old, Rory and Logan had adjusted into a solid routine.  Hayden would get up early in the morning around 5:30 am, fall asleep again around 9 am, wake at 11 am and then fall asleep again at 2 pm.  He would then wake at 4 pm and then fall asleep again for the night at 8 pm, waking up for a night feeding and change between midnight and 1 am.  Rory and Logan split their time, with Rory staying up to do the late night duties, and Logan taking care of the early morning.  With Hayden's schedule becoming somewhat predictable, Logan and Rory fell into a routine.   Logan made sure to have breakfast for ready Rory every morning while Rory would make sure Logan had time to run or go to the gym in the afternoons.  At night before putting Hayden to bed, the three of them would curl up on the couch and read books ranging from Sandra Boyton to Mo Williems, to Huckleberry Finn to Far Side comics.  While Hayden napped or was in the care of someone else, their time would be spent on everyday household duties; laundry, paying bills, as well as running errands, and doctors’ appointments.  Late night allowed Rory to work on her book, while morning naps allowed Logan relax and read. 

It was during that month milestone that Rory and Logan felt ready to venture beyond Stars Hallow and to New York City.  With the end of Logan’s leave fast approaching, the realities of life outside of their new parent bubble began to creep in.   For Logan, this meant not only getting mentally prepared to of back to work but also finding a bigger apartment in his Tribeca neighborhood so to stay within walking distance of work.  Rory’s list was more daunting.  Along with finding a place to live and finding a job, Rory also had to deal with the intricacies and realities of her personal financial situation.  Between living simply in Stars Hollow and Paris and Doyle’s place in New York, Rory was able to save a fair amount of her salary from her job and MN Designs.  She had meetings planned in the days ahead with Emily and her lawyers and financial advisors to discuss how to tap in and use her trust funds set up by both Richard and her Great Grandmother Lorelai I. It was during those meetings she learned that with the money in her trust fund, Rory would be able to put down a sizable down payment on a decent apartment, with enough money to spare to have her live up to a year.  Although she did not want to use up so much of the proceeds of her trust, it was what she needed to do. 

Then there was childcare, perhaps the most eye-opening issue of all.  The cost of a full-time Nanny, which involved not only salary, but also employer taxes, social security, and other miscellaneous expense rivaled the rent of a one bedroom apartment.    _$45K/ year?!?!_   Rory text Paris when she learned the average number.

 _45? For a totally legal childcare?  That’s cheap_. Paris texted back.

_Really?_

_You could pay more if you get into a poaching situation._

 

Her financial situation loomed over Rory’s head in the days leading up to their trip to New York.  Sitting in the gazebo with Lorelai and Hayden, Rory started to lose it.  “This is just so sobering,”  she told her mother.   “Why oh why is this happening?” 

“I know honey, it sucks.  But this is life, this is life with a kid.  You will never feel like you have enough.  You just have to plow through.”

“It’s just so daunting.  I can’t stay here because Logan lives in New York, but I can barely afford to live in New York.”

“Can’t you move to a cheaper neighborhood?”

“I could, but it not in a neighborhood that would be safe or close enough to Logan. 

“Does he have to stay in his neighborhood?”

“He works late nights as it is.  Commuting would only add to that.”

“Well, you have a year to find a job.

“And then what?”

“And then what nothing.  Focus on the here and now, not on what happens a year from now.  If you don't  you will only make yourself crazy.”

“I just feel like I wasted so much time the last 10 years, chasing a journalism career that did not work out.  There so much I could have been doing, now I have nothing,”

“Whoa! No Rory!! You have an education and experiences and contacts.  Plus you have a kid whose father is financially well off and will to do whatever he can to help.  That is not "nothing".  You have it so much better than the vast majority other women out there.  Seriously, you need to get a grip and capitalize on what you do have.”

“I have that job with Mitchum.  PR.  He says I can do it.”

“Do you think you can?  Do you think he means what he says?”

“Well, he was right about the journalism thing wasn’t he?”

“I don’t know.  Why do I feel like you’re Belle and you are on the brink of giving up your freedom to save your father and live with the Beast?”

“Well, she was a martyr, but look how it turned out for her?”

“Stockholm syndrome?”

“Survival of her family.  I mean it's not like I am selling my soul.”

“ You haven’t even tried to look for anything else.  Like you said, you have a year.”

“But if I can’t find anything then what?  I lost an opportunity.  Again, that would have been fine if I were on my own, but I have a child to think about.  I can’t afford arrogance.”

‘You have time right?”

“About a month.”

“That may be enough time to get you a couple of leads.  Don’t give up yet.  You should at least try to find something else, that way if you do take this job, you can say that you tried.”

“Yes, I cannot give up without trying first.”

“And if you do take it, remember to be careful.  This is a slippery slope.  He is Hayden’s grandfather.  Any conflicts can affect him too.”

Rory and Lorelai looked up to see Jess approaching them.

“Hi!”  Rory greeted Jess with a hug.

“Well, this is a surprise,” Lorelai said.

“Well, I thought I would drop by, check in on you, meet the little guy,” Jess responded as he leans in to look at Hayden who is snuggled in Rory’s carrier.

“Oh, I think you’re in luck because he is waking up.” 

Rory took Hayden out of the carrier.  “Hayden, this is my friend Jess.”

“Hey there little man,” Jess greeted Hayden, “He’s great Rory.  How are you doing?”

“Oh, you know, we’re adjusting.  We’re good…we’re good.”

Jess saw that she seemed a bit concerned. He had to fight the urge to ask her to elaborate.

“Well, I’m glad.  Hey Hayden, I got you something.”

Jess reached into his bag and pulled out the book  _Knuffle Bunny_.  This made Rory laugh.

“Oh, I love him! We are way deep into _Piggy and Elephant_ right how”

“Well, the _Knuffle Bunny_ trilogy is a must. Mo Williems is after all the Moliere of Children’s Literature.”

Jess sat down with Rory, Lorelai, and Hayden and proceeded to read the book to Hayden, with voices and all.  His performance made Rory and Lorelai laugh hysterically.  At the end of the book, Lorelai and Rory gave Jess a rousing round of applause before Lorelai left them to check on the renovation at the Annex.

“So how are you really?” Jess asked Rory.

“I’m good, really good.  The adjustment was difficult at first, but we now have a routine which makes life much easier.” Rory replied.

“And how is he adjusting?”

“Logan is doing well. He’s been a rock really. I would not have made it without him.”

“So things are good?”

“Yes, things are good.”

“Look, I’m sorry the way I acted the last time. If you trust him, then I will too.”

“Thanks for being protective, but regardless, Hayden and I will be ok.”

“Well alright then.”

Rory, Hayden, and Jess stood up and headed toward the diner. In the distance, standing in front of Doose’s Market, the upset Logan watched the scene before he walks back to the apartment.

 

 

About two hours later and Rory and Hayden arrive at the apartment to find Logan packing up.

“Hey,”  She said when she walked in, “there you are.”

“Here I am.”

“I thought you were going to join us at the diner for lunch.”

“Well, I just got caught in something here and lost track of time.”

“Oh, ok”

Rory took the sleepy Hayden out of his carrier and gently places him in his crib.   She exhaled in relief, “Ok, two-hour stretch.”

“Two-hour stretch.”

“So what are you going to do?  Do you need to go out?  I can stay here…”

“I’m actually starting to pack up.  We are going the day after tomorrow, so I want to make sure I’ve got everything.”

“Ok, well that is a good idea.  There is so much stuff, I don’t even know where to begin.”

“I think just the basics, we can get the rest later once we are settled into our respective places.”

“Yes, that’s a good idea.”

Rory sensed Logan’s distance.

“Are you ok?”

“Yes, I’m fine.”

“You just seem preoccupied.”

“The gravity of our situation is weighing on me.  We are going back to the real world now and I am not feeling too great about it.”

“Yes, I understand.”

“So how was your afternoon...with your mom?”

“Oh good.  We had a talk about transitioning to New York.  She said that she could come down on the weekends to help out until we get settled.”

“Great.”

“She and I also talked about my job prospects.”

“Really?”

“Yes, I am seriously considering that job with HMG”

“Really, are you sure you want to sell your soul to the devil himself?”

“Well, it’s a sure thing.”

“True.  No other prospects out there?”

“Well one, but it’s not an option.”

“What is it?”

“Naomi Shropshire called me.  She was apologetic and wanting to work with me again.  Apparently, there is another author who is going to write an unauthorized biography and she wants to beat her to the punch.”

“Wow, talk about a gift from Heaven.”

“Yes, it is, but I am not taking it.”

“Why not?”

“That would mean me having to spend a significant time in London.  And I can’t do that.”

“Why London?”

“Because she lives there?”

“She can’t come here for interviews?”

“This is a biography Logan, I have to follow her, you know that.”

“I mean yes, but she wants you to do this.  I assume she knows you are a new mom.”

“Yes, she told me,”  Rory imitated Naomi, “Dahling just bring the baby to London, we have the best Nannies…”

“When did she make this offer?  I don’t remember you talking to her.”

"It was before Hayden was born.  The day you moved in.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Because I knew I wouldn’t  take it.”

“And why is that again?”

‘Well, because that would mean a major change in our living arrangement.  It would be hard to do the joint custody thing separated by the Atlantic.”

“Well, if you told me about it, we could have perhaps arranged something.”

“Really?  It's that easy?”

“Maybe, maybe not, but it would have been worth it to ask the question.”

“No Logan, it would have been hard.”

“You don’t know that!  If you told me then maybe we could have worked out something.”

“You essentially just started again back here in the States and now you will go off to London?  Seriously, think about it.”

“I don’t want you resenting me later for not taking this job because of me.”

“While you are certainly a factor, you are not the sole reason for not taking this job.  Naomi is crazy and really I can’t take that right now.  Plus, she is so unpredictable, I mean who knows what could happen?  I could rearrange my life and find that she changed her mind once I got there.  At this point, I cannot take a job that has so many unsure factors.”

“So what are you going to do then?”

“Like I said, I am seriously considering the job with HMG”

“Really?  I thought working for my father again wasn’t ideal.”

“Well, the reality of having to support a kid and pay a mortgage changes one’s concept of  _ideal_.”

“It’s not what you dreamed of doing.”

“Dreams change.”

Logan went quiet.  It was an uneasy quiet.  Rory wanted to ask him what he was thinking, but he looked as though he wouldn’t tell her the truth.  She lets the silence go on.

Finally Logan said, “You know,  I think I will go running.  I need to clear my head.”

“Ok,”  Rory said.

Logan quickly changed and left the apartment.


	36. Eight Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Chapter.   
> Logan starts to think about his relationship with Rory in a new way.   
> Luke tells Logan his insights on relationships and Rory.

**Eight Years**

 

July 2017

Stars Hollow, West Hartford

 

Logan went out on his run, setting out towards the town square, down the access road to the pond and then towards the Dragonfly, looping then back towards the apartment. As hard as he ran, he could not shake the feeling of foreboding.

 He arrived back at the apartment, realizing he was not ready to go in and face Rory. Instead he jumped into his car and started driving, soon finding himself in a shopping center in West Hartford. He got out and settled into the nearest café with an iced coffee, texting Rory that he would be home in time to put Hayden to bed. Then he started to think. Try as he might he could not wipe the image of Rory and Jess together from his mind. Seeing them together was a glass of ice water in the face. For the first time in a very long time, the reality of Logan and Rory never getting back together really sank in. He realized that his relationship with Odette or any other woman would never have worked because he was still holding on to Rory. He also realized how damaging that could be to him and in order to move on, he had to let really let go. But that situation was complicated now that Hayden was in the picture. How would he feel about having another man in Hayden’s life? How would he being with another woman (if that ever happened) affect his relationship with Rory? Logan thought about this and all the other possibilities to the point of driving him mad.   Just as he thought he was going to lose it, he thought of Hayden.

 _At this point,_ Logan thought to himself, _Hayden and I are all that matters.  It was_ with that thought he went to work.  

He called his assistant, asking him to coordinate with the doorman of his building to let workers into his apartment. He then stopped by a baby store, where he ordered a portable crib, playmats, and all the other accouterments needed for a small baby. Next, he stopped by a computer store where he purchased a new router and laptop. Shopping expedition completed, Logan headed back to Stars Hollow with a new found determination.

Before heading back to the apartment, Logan went to Luke's. Having used the apartment above the diner as an office, Logan wanted to thank Luke by upgrading his computer and wifi network. He started by upgrading his ancient router, giving Luke wider coverage and better control of who had access to is wifi.  He also got Luke a laptop to replace the ancient desktop. He was in the middle of setting up the computer when Luke walked into the apartment.

 

“Hey, sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Luke said.

 

“No problem, I was just…setting up your thank you gift.” Logan replied.

 

“Thank you? Thank you for what?”

 

“For letting me use your office this past couple of months.”

 

Luke waved Logan off, “No need to thank me, it’s was no problem. It’s what you do, it's what you do for family.”

 

Logan huffed ironically at Luke’s words, “Well nevertheless, I want to thank you. Not only for letting me use the office but with all your help with Hayden. We would be lost without you.”

 

“Well again, it's what family does.”

 

“Yea, well.”

 

“What’s going on Logan?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

‘I don't know. You seem so formal, like well never see each other again. I mean you only going to New York for a couple of days right?”

 

“Well, yes but once Rory and I get back to reality, who knows how much I will see you. Our custody arrangement does not leave me enough room for extended visits to Stars Hollow.”

 

“What you won’t come to Star Hollow with Rory and the baby.”

 

“It would be awkward seeing that we are not together.”

 

Taking a beat or two to fully absorb Logan’s statement, Luke sat down at the kitchen table, “Eight years.”

 

“What?”

 

“Eight years. Did you ever hear the story of how Lorelai and I met?”

 

“No,” Logan replied sitting on the arm of the couch.

 

“It was during a rather busy lunch rush at the diner. I was taking a customer order when this crazed woman barges into the diner in a caffeine frenzy demanding coffee. I told her to wait her turn.”

 

“I can imagine Lorelai did not take that well.”

 

“No, she didn’t. She started following me around, talking nonsense a mile a minute, just being utterly annoying. Finally, I told her ‘sit down, shut-up, I’ll get you your coffee.’ She sat down and but that only fueled her mania, asking me over and over again was my birthday. Finally told her just to shut her up. She then immediately went to the horoscope section of the newspaper, wrote something down, tore it out and gave it to me.”

 

“What did the note say?”

 

“Under Scorpio, it said, ‘You will meet an annoying woman today. Give her coffee and she'll go away.’’

 

Logan laughed, “And that was love.”

 

“Maybe not love, but I was definitely smitten. I was intrigued enough by her to want to get to know her more.”

 

“So long did it take for you to ask her out?”

 

“Eight years.”

 

“Really.”

 

“Eight years. Eight years of roller-coaster emotions, watching her get engaged to one man, date others. And even after those eight years it took as another two, along with her marrying and divorcing Christopher, to finally get together. Hell, it took us another ten to make it official.”

 

“This is a really great story Luke, but what does this have to do with me?”

 

“What I am saying is that path that Lorelai and I took to being together was not a straight and easy path, but we got here because ultimately we were meant to happen. I have a feeling that this is the same case for you and Rory.”

 

“I’m not so sure Luke. Rory knows good and well how I feel about her. I would marry her tomorrow if she wanted, but ultimately, she doesn’t seem to be interested in commitment. At least not to me anyway.”

 

“You really believe that?”

 

“She turned me down when I proposed to her at her graduation. She proposed the Vegas agreement when I was ready to give it all up for her. Now that we have a child together, she still doesn’t want to make a commitment. I think it’s time for me to move on.”

 

“I don’t see it that way.”

 

“Really, what do you see?”

 

“I love Rory dearly. Hell, I practically helped raise the kid from age ten on. I’ve seen her go through many ups and downs. Rory is good at many things, but you know what she is pretty awful at?”

 

“Team Sports?”

 

“Failure”

 

Logan sat silently, digesting Luke’s words.

 

“When it comes to goal setting, there is no one more determined than a Gilmore girl. Lorelai has it, Emily certainly has it, and from what I hear Richard’s crazy mother was the same. Rory is cut from the same cloth, except for one glaring difference, she’s a people pleaser. She always was aware of what other people thought of her. Sure, when it came to people in general, she could take ‘em or leave ‘em, but when it came to people close to her or people she admired, failure was not an option. There is no one harder on Rory Gilmore than Rory Gilmore. “

Luke paused, recalling a memory. “You know there were three times when I saw her so out of sorts that she worried me. The first time was her first year in college when she did not live up to the standard Richard set. It was so bad that it sent her back into the arms of her married ex-boyfriend. But then, she pulled herself together, go focused on herself and her life got better. The second time is when your father told her she would not be a journalist. You remember what happened then, she stole a boat, dropped out of school, and stopped talking to Lorelai. Again, it was only after she got herself together that she made the move to make up with Lorelai. And then now this, and I am not talking about the pregnancy, I’m talking about life before the pregnancy. Yes, she was working and writing some great articles, but I could tell she was struggling. I didn’t say anything because well she said she was handling things that an opportunity was going to come up to make everything worth it. Little did we know that the opportunity was not a job, but a baby.”

 

“Ok, but how do I fit into this picture.”

 

“She’s repeating the pattern. She messed up, and now she is determined to fix it on her own terms. Once she’s back on her feet, she will be able to focus on other relationships.”

 

“But that doesn’t mean that the relationship she seeks will be with me.”

 

“Why the hell not? You are a family Logan. You’ve been functioning like a “normal” family even before Hayden was born. Rory is just not ready to embrace it. I’m not saying that you should wait around forever; every person has a breaking point and if you feel you have to move on, then you should. But what I am saying is don’t give up on her too soon. The last five years have been tough on her. She needs to know that she can handle things on her own before she can let someone else in. Rory will come around, you’ll see. I know I’m right.”

 

Logan couldn’t help but smile, “Such insight. I never pegged you for being so observant.”

 

“Hey, just because I run a diner, don’t talk a mile a minute, and a curmudgeon does not mean that I am not observant. I had 22 or so years of Gilmore experience under my belt. In some ways, I know them better than they know themselves. Just don’t tell them ok?”

 

Logan smirked, “I promise to keep your secret.”

 

After finishing at the diner, Logan returned to the apartment. Despite the talk with Luke, Logan still felt a great amount of trepidation around Rory. By the time he arrived it was Hayden’s bedtime. Together, Logan and Rory went through the bedtime ritual, curling up on the couch reading Moonlight Over Manhattan before putting Hayden down to sleep. Afterwards, Logan went about silently cleaning up and packing for their trip. By 9, it was time for Logan to go to bed.  Before he turned in he made a request, “I was thinking, “ Logan said, “Since we have to start getting used to the new schedule, maybe you can leave me alone overnight with the baby the second night we are in the City”

“Oh…ok” Rory said reluctantly.

“Ace, we have to make the break some time.  Better to do it early.  You can stay as late as you want and then come back early.  We can put you up in a hotel nearby.”

“Yes, you’re right, but no.  Let me see if I can stay with Paris and Doyle.”

“Yes, that would be a good idea. Spend time with your friends. You haven’t seen them since the hospital.”

“Ok then. Well, good night Logan.”

“Good night Rory.”

 

 

 

 

 


	37. Deceiving Appearances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan has a moment of clarity regarding his relationship with Rory. Rory talks career and friends with Paris.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally written in January 2017 and was heavily influenced by the Women's March. Logan's viewpoint has been added.

**Deceiving Appearances**

 

July 2017

New York

 

Two days later, and it was time for Logan, Rory, and Hayden to leave for New York.  Although it was only going to be for five days, Rory was in tears anyway.  With the car packed and Hayden safely secured in the backseat, Rory and Logan said their goodbyes to Lorelai and Luke and headed out of town.  The traffic was typical with a few construction delays, allowing them to make it to the city by mid-afternoon.    Upon their arrival at Logan’s building, Logan instructed Rory to take the baby in while he and the doorman took care of their possessions.  Rory walked into Logan’s apartment surprised to find that it was already set up for Hayden.  There was a crib in the corner of the bedroom, while stuffed animals covered the bed.  She also found a box full of baby care supplies on the kitchen counter.  All they had to do was unpack the things they brought from Stars Hollow and Hayden would be all settled in. “How did this happen?”  She asked Logan when he walked in the apartment.

“Had this taken care of yesterday.  I figured it would be better to be ready.”  Logan responded matter-a-factly.

Despite her efforts to get him to warm up, Logan continued to be polite but distant.  Other than Hayden related conversations, they had very little to say to each other.  Rory had given up on trying to figure out what was going on in Logan’s head.  When he’s ready, she thought, he will talk.

The next day Logan took Hayden for the afternoon to visit his office and introduce him to his colleagues.  Rory was not invited.  So instead she called and made appointments with nanny agencies and searched for a decent apartment in the surrounding neighborhoods.  She was able to locate some good prospects, all within a 30-minute walk to Logan’s neighborhood.  That evening, after dinner and their usual goodnight ritual, it was time for Rory to leave. 

“Ok, so I pumped enough milk and should last you for the night if there isn’t I took out some frozen packs and put them in the fridge.”

“Thanks, and don’t worry.”

“Easier said than done.” 

Rory took one last look at her son then walked away.  Logan walked her to the door.

“Call me if there is any trouble and I will be back right away,”

“I will.”

“Ok”  Rory exited quickly so not to let Logan see her cry.

 

Later, dressed in her pajamas and eating chips and salsa, Rory settled in Paris and Doyle’s place.  Doyle and the kids have long gone to bed, leaving Paris and Rory up for the night.  Rory missed Hayden terribly and was glad that she had Paris to talk to.  That night, Rory caught Paris up on the past month.  They discussed the baby, how life was going so far and milestones to look out for in the coming months.  They talked about her job prospects and her possibly joining the Huntzberger Media Group.  They also talked about Logan and his weird attitude the last two days.

“You know he’s in lo…”

“Stop!  I know what you’re going to say.”

“You know I am right…You know what you need?  Some wine.”

“I’m breastfeeding.”

“Not tonight!  Pump and dump baby!”

Paris got out a bottle of wine and two glasses. Rory downed her first glass.”

“Oh, that felt good,” Rory exclaimed.

“Have you had a drink since you delivered?”

“Nope.”

“Well welcome back!  So PR with the Huntzberger Media Group...”

“Yup.”

“Sounds like fun.”

"It could be.  It’s the other side of journalism in lots of ways.  The field is filled with former journalists.”

“I know, and you would be great at it.  It’s just...The Huntzberger Media Group.”

“I know.   It’s practical right?  It’s the choice you make to benefit your family.  Not my dream job, but who really is in their dream job?  Lots of people are in it to keep things going.  My mom for Pete’s sake worked as a maid.  A PR job at a prestigious company is nothing to sneeze at. ”

“And you’re sure about turning down Naomi?”

“Yes.  It just won’t work.  You know, two years ago being in this position job wise would have been the greatest thing ever.  Now, it’s bereft with anxiety.”

“A baby changes everything.”

“You know what's funny, there’s that pull to chuck it all and just stay home and take care of the baby.  If you asked me about being a stay at home mom 10 years ago I would have said absolutely not.  Now?  I started crying just leaving him tonight.  Must be the hormones.”

“Could you do that?”

“What?  No, that would mean Logan would be taking care of everything and support me financially.  I can’t do that in good conscience.”

“What about letting him take care of most of the expenses baby wise and you freelancing?”

“That would be unfair time wise and financially.”

‘Not necessarily.  If you stay home, take care of Hayden, I mean you calculated it yourself, you are saving $45K minimum a year.  That’s not small change.  If you factor in also the cost of commuting, eating out, hiring help for other things that you would probably not have time for like housekeeping, grocery delivery, laundry, expenses add up.  What’s the point of drawing a paycheck if 90% of it goes to paying someone to do tasks you could do yourself?  I would run the numbers.  As for time?  Renegotiate the custody agreement.  It’s not like you guys are fighting in that area.”

“I think that scenario would work out better if we were married.”

’True.”

“You sound like you’ve thought about this in great detail.”

“Oh yes.  After the first one was born I seriously considered putting the career on hold and staying home.  After all, I was raised by a nanny, and part of me didn’t want that.”

“So what changed your mind?”

“Getting real about who I am.  Really, me?  In Mommy and Me classes?  Hanging out and arranging playdates?  Making homemade baby food.  Kudos to the woman who can do that, because for me I would kill everyone in a week.  I’m not the stay home type.”

“True.  Any guilt feelings?”

“Initially, I mean I thought there was something wrong with me like I lacked some gene.  But, my kids are in good hands, Clementina loves them, they love her, I love her. And Doyle is very good at doing his part.  He is more of the Mommy and Me/Gymboree type, yes surprising huh?”

“Very.  I don’t know.  Women fought and are still fighting for a seat in the workplace.  I feel like not working would be a setback.”

“No and yes.  Women fought for a seat at the table, but they also fought for the right to choose their own path.  A stay at home mom is no less a feminist that one who chooses to go to work that is IF she makes that decision freely.  Before the chance to decide was not there, it was the woman stays at home and the man works.  Could you imagine Doyle doing a corporate job and me staying home?  That’s script for a murder-suicide right there.  You know I would venture to say that the fact that Doyle can pursue his writing dream and take the kids to Gymboree is the result of the Women’s Movement.  Dads everywhere should be thanking us.”

“Well, I should work.”

“And that is your choice.”

“And I’m lucky to have the choice.”

Rory pour another glass of wine, “You know on top of everything else, we have to find a nanny.  Know of any good ones?”

“As a matter-of-fact, I do.”

“Really?  Who?”

“Clementina.”

“Clementina is your nanny.”

“Not for long.”

“Why?  Are you firing her?  Then why would I want her?”

“We’re moving Rory.”

‘Moving? Where?”

“California.  LA.  Doyle and one of his writing partners pitched a TV series and it got picked up.  He’s going to be a full-time TV writer.  So, we’re packing up the truck and moving to Beverly.”

“And you’re ok with this?”

“Yes, well we have to make sacrifices for our families right?  Anyway, it’s not like I am giving up anything anyway.  What is really keeping me here?  The business is doing well.  I finally found a #2 person who is not a complete idiot and that I trust.  Plus there are opportunities for me to expand out there.  Apparently, there is a plastic surgery practice that is very popular among the A-lister set.  They are in financial trouble because the trophy husband likes to shop.  So we are looking into a merger.  Have you baby delivered here, and then get a tummy tuck.  What more can you want?”

“That’s great Paris.  But,…”

“But what?”

“Well, I’ll miss you.  Here I am moving to the city and you are moving out.” 

“You’ll do fine without me. Hey, you want to buy our house?  We’re putting it on the market.”

“Thanks but I think at this point that will be a bit too much house for me.  Really you’re selling, what if you want to come back?”

“Then we’ll buy another house.  Just as long as we’re together, then we’ll be ok.”

“Well, listen to you all sentimental and optimistic! So when are you leaving?”

“It depends.  We are still negotiating Doyle’s contract.  Good thing we have Madeline on it or we would be screwed.”

“Ok, you have to get me up to speed on this.   I didn’t have any time to talk to either one of them in depth at the shower.  First of all, how did Madeline and Louise manage to crash my shower? Second, Madeline is an Agent?   How in the hell did that happen?”

"When Madeline and I reconnected, I told her about you.  She of course was floored and told Louise right away.  They decided to crash your shower because they had to see it for themselves.  I mean really Rory, you are the last person we expected to be in this situation.  So I called Lorelai and asked if they could come.  You're not mad are you?'

"No, it was just a surprise.  It was really great to reconnect with them.  So what is Madeline's story?" 

"So she dropped out of college pretty much as soon as she started and drifted around for a year or two “finding herself.”  She eventually became the trophy wife of some Hedge Fund founder. He was a nice guy, even genuinely loved her, but he worked a lot,  could never relax and ate horribly.  Despite Madeline’s efforts, he would not commit to getting healthy.  Unfortunately, all this led to his untimely demise, leaving Madeline a young and very rich widow.  And well, the way she described it, widow life was not all its cracked up to be so on a whim, she started taking classes at the local community college.  One class led to another and before she knew it,  she had an Associates Degree in Psychology.  She transferred to Wesleyan where she got a dual degree in Psych and Poly Sci.  From there she went on to  Columbia Law School.”

“Columbia!”

“Columbia! Yes and 4 years later she passed the New York and  Connecticut Bar, first try.”

“Wow!”

“Turns out, she is one of the most successful negotiators and litigators of her class.  This was based on the fact that her opponents always underestimate her.  I mean you know Madeline, in person she is still sweet, accommodating, and slightly flaky, but once you get her into a courtroom or at a negotiating table, she will gut you. “ 

“Really!”

“Oh yea.  One of her former colleagues told me once she did a pro bono case for this woman who lost her job because her kid was getting chemo.  By the time Madeline was done, the employer not only gave the woman her job back, but a raise, back pay, and a public apology.  She got into the whole entertainment law scene after she negotiated her cousin’s modeling contract.  One thing led to another and before she knew it,  she went to Hollywood.  Madeline said she likes to represent off-air talent, not as much ego.”

“Amazing.  What are you going to tell me that Louise is a corporate CEO?”

"Well, sort of.  She has her own Chiropractic/ Eastern Medicine practice in LA as well.  We are talking about doing some partnering if this deal of mine goes through.  She does cupping for Gwyneth Paltrow when she is in town!"

"Oh, my head hurts…"

_______________________________________________

It was 12:30 am and Logan could not sleep. With his leave soon coming to an end the thought life back in the real world was making him anxious. He would be lying if he said he did not thoroughly enjoy his time in the new family bubble in Stars Hollow. In fact, he had never been happier in his life. But, as he had learned time and time again, life is not about getting what you want. Try as he might to fight it, he had to accept that his time with Rory had an expiration date. The reality it seemed was that Rory would never want to be with him. She was not interested in college and, despite their situation, she wasn’t interested now. _It was time to let it go_ Logan thought to himself, _if not for you, then for Hayden_.

Just then Hayden woke up for his midnight feeding. Seeing that Rory was the one who handled this feeding, Hayden was not happy to find his mother absent. Holding him tight, Logan struggled to try to get him to take the bottle. “Come on Hayden, “ Logan pleaded, “Mommy is not here. In fact, starting in a couple of weeks she is not going to be around all the time, so it’s best you get used to it, now please take the bottle.”

Logan and Hayden struggled for another hour before Hayden gave up and started drinking. “There you go buddy. I know you miss Mommy. But she won’t always be around. But don’t worry, I’ll always be there for you.”

Logan smiled as Hayden loosened his grip on his bottle and fell asleep. It was then that Logan had a moment of clarity. Despite having his sister to lean on, all his life, Logan felt alone. He was dealing with the feeling rather well until Rory showed up, allowing him the opportunity to consider the possibilities of life beyond that of the obligation and expectations that he was raised to want. Staring at his son Logan realized that yes, while life with Rory was ideal, it was not the be all and end all to make him happy. _Perhaps Rory was not the goal at all,_ Logan thought,  _maybe ultimately it was Hayden/fatherhood that would fill in that void that he felt for so long_. For the first time in a long time, Logan felt at peace. _Whatever happens, happens._ Logan thought to himself. _My son and I have each other, and that’s all I need._

_____________________________________________________

The next day Rory got up later than she expected.  Drinking half a bottle of wine made for a restful sleep, but also extended her time away from Hayden.   After a quick shower and breakfast, Rory left Paris and Doyle’s house to meet Logan and Hayden.  While waiting for her car, Rory received a text from Logan telling her to meet them at an apartment two block away from his current place.  She arrived at the building, which was your typical vintage building to contemporary condo conversion.  After being cleared from building security, she took the elevator up to the top floor and proceeded to the door opposite the elevators.  As she approached the apartment, she heard excited talking and loud laughter.  She opened the door to find Logan, Hayden, and a well-dressed, well-coiffed woman.

“Morning Ace” Logan greeted happily.

“Good morning.”

“Rory this is Sloan Phillips, an old family friend, and my realtor. Sloan, Rory Gilmore.”

“So nice to meet you,” Sloan said with an enthusiasm Rory found fake.

“Sloan is the best realtor in the city.  She can negotiate anyone to the wall.  My family has been working with hers for years.”

“My father and Mitchum go way back."  Sloan added,   "He started this business, and I joined the firm after college.  I usually don’t do these kinds of transaction anymore, but for Logan well…” 

Rory noticed Sloan run her finger down Logan’s arms.  She continued to notice how she laughed just a little too heartily at Logan’s corny jokes and how she leaned in close to him.  _This woman is so annoying,_ Rory thought.

Hayden, sensing his mother was there, started to cry for her.  Logan immediately took him out of the carrier and gave him to Rory.  Together Rory and Hayden toured the apartment.  It was a really nice place, about 2000 square feet, three bedrooms, and two and a half baths, open and filled with light.  Rory pictured a soft neutral palette on the walls with paintings, furniture, and other accessories adding pops of color to the room. There was a little alcove off the living room that she thought would make a great office once some French or pocket doors were added. Best of all, Rory pictured Hayden running around, spilling his toys all over, while Logan chased him.  It seemed like a lovely place to grow a family.

“Like it?" Logan asked, taking Hayden from Rory and showing him around saying "The new Huntzberger Hideout?  The place where two guys can just hang out, play cards, drink beer, watch the game?”

“Yes, it’s really nice,” Rory observed, "Really homey and the view is amazing!"

“And the perfect price!” Sloan interjected. “I think we could even negotiate lower.  It is among the last apartments and the developer really wants to move on.”

“Well, it is tempting. I’m going to walk around again, maybe check out the building one more time.”  Logan said, giving the baby back to Rory.

“Go right ahead.” encouraged Sloan.

Logan left to tour the apartment again, leaving Rory and Sloan alone in the kitchen.

“So," Sloan asked in a sunny voice that Rory found irritating, "have you been with Logan for long?”

“Umm, yes we’ve known each other for a while,” Rory responded.

“Oh, really?  Did you work together before?”

“Um, no actually…”

At that moment Hayden started his hungry cry.

“I’m sorry the baby is hungry, I’m just going to sit over here…” Rory said heading towards the living room.

As Rory sat down to breastfeed Hayden, Logan reappeared.

’So you really like it?” Logan asked.

“Yes, Like I said, the view is amazing. With a bit of baby proofing and some paint, I think it would be great.” Rory replied.

“I do too.  Sloan, I’m going to take a look downstairs again.”  Logan announced and then left the apartment.

“Don’t forget to check out the guest suite on this floor and the indoor playroom downstairs. The developers are marketing to families, so there are a lot of great extras.” Sloan called out.

As soon as Logan left, Sloan walked over to Rory, who was in the midst of feeding Hayden. 

“So, you’re Hayden’s mom!”  Sloan asked a bit nervously.

‘That I am.”

“Yes, you’re "Rory" Rory”

“In the flesh, " Rory responded, then looking down at the breastfeeding Hayden, "...so to speak."

‘You know Logan and I go way back.”

“I know, you mentioned that.”

“Hayden is just so cute.  You’re just a scrumptious little tyke, aren’t you?  Aren’t you?” 

 _Ok lady_ , Rory thought,  _my kid is not a midmorning snack…_

They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes before Logan showed up.

"It looks good Sloan."  Logan informed her, "I think this is at the top of the list.”

“Well, let me know your decision quickly.  You know how fast things can move fast in this neighborhood.”

“I will.  Rory you might want Sloan to help you find a place.”

“Oh, I would LOVE to!”  Sloan said, again with fake enthusiasm Rory notes.

“Oh I will definitely need some help”  _but not from you,_  Rory thought.

"Well Logan," Sloan said, "I have to get to that other appointment.  Call me?"

"Oh yes, go, go.  Thanks for fitting me in."

"Well, " she said in a very flirty way, "thanks for getting in touch."

 _I’m going to barf,_  Rory thought to herself.

"Nice to meet you Rory!" She said sunnily waving as Rory refastened her nursing bra.

"Likewise,"  Rory said as Sloan exited the apartment.

"So I think this is it,"  Logan told Rory.

"Yes, it’s nice,"  Rory replied as she paced around, trying to get Hayden to burp, "but are you sure you want her to do the negotiations?"

"She one of the best in the business, why not?"

"She seems flaky."

"She’s a shark."

"I guess I would want someone a little less Barbie and more business-like. " Rory observed,  "I mean yes, get the apartment.  If you have to go with her, then go ahead.  Doesn’t bother me."

Carrying Hayden, Rory walked out the door towards the elevator. 

Logan followed her, smiling.

 


	38. Settling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An edited version of the original.

**Settling**

July – August 2017

New York

 

As soon as Rory opened the door, she immediately covered Hayden's ears. The hammering, drilling, and other various constructions sounds were quite jarring. As she made her way through the work site, she noticed large panels of words being placed on the walls. “Those are my words, ” Rory thought to herself. She passed by a group of workers who were busy testing a screen with footage of an interview with Mark Burnett. “I helped edit that interview.” Rory again thought to herself. It was then that she spotted her lunch dates, Moses and Helen. They saw Rory and quickly walked over, greeting her enthusiastically and fawning over the baby. Together they left the project site to go to lunch. “Wow”, Rory gushed as they walked to the restaurant down the block, “ everything looks incredible.”

“It does, doesn't it?” replied Moses.

“It's really exciting to see it all come together.”

It was the first week of August, one month before the exhibit studying the intersection of politics and popular culture was to open. After all the work, the long and intense hours editing copy, seemingly endless meetings, and dealing with polite yet hostile interview subjects, it was all coming together. Seeing the what she was able to accomplish made Rory tear up a little.

They arrived at the restaurant and settled in. The conversation flowed from work, to kids, to family life and work again.

"So Rory, you're in New York to find a place to live?  Are you going to start working soon?"

"Logan's leave ends soon, and he’s in the process of buying a bigger place.  I might stay with Paris for a while.  I am job hunting right now.  I do have a job prospect, but I am looking at other options as well.  If you know of anyone who is hiring, please let me know."

Moses and Helen look at each other.

"What?"  Rory asked.

Helen replied, "What a perfect segue!  Sam? The person for whom you took over?  He's done with his treatments and it looks like he is going to make a full recovery."

"That's wonderful!"  Rory replied

"He's doing well, so much so that but has decided to retire." 

"Really?"

"His last kid is set to graduate from college at the end of this school year.  He was planning to work another five years, but after this scare, he and his wife decided it's time to retire and enjoy life." Moses continued.

"Wow, so where does that leave you?" Rory asked.

"Well" Moses explained, "Helen here has been promoted to Content Director."

"Helen!  Congrats!"  Rory said

"Thanks!"  Helen replied, "This position is all about client development and administrative stuff.  Not as a creative, but then not as much arguing."  She added with a wink.

Moses continued, "Malik, will be taking the Associate Director role, he will be overseeing the projects directly.  Which leaves his current position, Project Lead, open."

"Really?"  Rory asked cautiously.

"Rory?"  Moses asked, "Would you like to be our new Project Lead?"

Rory smiled.  Oh, what luck she thought to herself.  "I don't have to think about it, yes, yes, I would love to join you."

 

Now that her employment question was answered, Rory turned her attention to housing. She and Logan decided to extend their stay in New York until she found a place and, luckily, by day three she found modest 2 bedrooms, 1 1/2 bath apartment in a small building in the West Village. The owner, it turned out, was promoted and moved overseas, leaving a vacant apartment and a desperation to sell. With her significant downpayment and a pre-approved loan, Rory's offer was made and quickly accepted, with a closing date set two weeks away. By the time September rolled around, Rory was ready to move and start her life as a New Yorker.

After accepting the job and finding a place to live, Rory went back to Stars Hollow to start packing up for her move. It was no easy feat seeing that she was nomadic for so long. She had to retrieve boxes from storage, from her mom, and Paris and Lane's houses. Then there was the sorting. Stuff that she let go because it was time, clothes that no longer fit her postpartum body, books that she had not read in years (the hardest part.) Then there was Hayden's stuff. Because they were splitting between two households, Logan and Rory not only had to sort through and split his items, but also make lists of things that they both needed in their respective places.

 By the second weekend of September Rory was ready to move. With Lorelai in tow, the two of them packed up what they could in the Lorelai's car and then followed the moving truck to Rory's new place. By early afternoon, the movers had unloaded Rory's things, giving her and Lorelai the afternoon and night to unpack.  Logan and Hayden dropped by about late-afternoon to see the progress. While the furniture was set up (thanks to the movers) unpacking boxes proved to be the bigger challenge than anticipated.  Along with being overwhelmed, Rory was hungry and getting impatient. Seeing this Logan and Lorelai volunteered to go to the grocery store; they knew better than to stay around Rory when she was in this mental state.

Logan, Hayden, and Lorelai walked to the store two blocks away, where Logan and Hayden split up from Lorelai, with Logan getting groceries, while Lorelai grabbed dinner from the prepared food section.  When she was done and after a few minutes of wandering, Lorelai found Logan and Hayden standing in the middle of the cereal aisle, talking to a woman. As Lorelai walked up to them she heard the woman say, “So Logan if you are free tonight, we are meeting at 8 pm. It should be fun!” The woman said.

“It does sound like fun. Unfortunately, this is my weekend with Hayden so I will have to pass.” Logan responded

Logan noticed Lorelai standing next to them. He looked a bit panicked.

“Hi”, she said extending her hand to the woman, “I’m Lorelai.”

“Justine, nice to meet you.” She said shaking Lorelai's hand.

Logan added, “Justine here is a rising editor in the publishing/print division.”

“Oh, that great! Do you specialize in any area?” Lorelai asked.

“Young Adult Fiction,” Justine replied.

“Teenage angst, how fun!”

 There was an uneasy silence.

Logan broke the silence.  “Well, we better get going. See you at the office, Justine.”

“Yea, great to meet you." She said to Lorelai,  "See you at work Logan!”

While standing in line waiting to pay for their groceries, Logan started to explain, “Justine and I work together.”

“Yes, she said so,” Lorelai said a bit confused.

“She and some of her friends are meeting at an event tonight and asked if I wanted to join them.

“Oh, and you have Hayden. Damn kids really can cramp your style, right?” Lorelei said jokingly with a wink.

“Yes, it’s true,” Logan replied cautiously.

“Logan, you don’t have to explain anything to me. If you wanted to go out with her, that's your business. I mean, you’re a grown man, and I am not your mother.”

“It just I don’t want Rory thinking that I am trolling for women at the grocery store.”

“Even if you were, unless you were using Hayden to pick up girls or neglecting him while you went on your conquests, it’s not any of her business.”

Lorelai looked at Logan seriously, “Logan you are entitled to a life, right?”

 

The three returned with groceries and dinner. Afterward, Logan and Hayden left for the night while Lorelai and Rory continued unpacking, working into the night, finally taking a break at midnight.

“Ugh!” Lorelai exclaimed when she sat down for a break, “for two people you have a lot of stuff!”

“Huh, and I got rid of stuff too!”

“You know, initially I wasn’t too excited about this place, but it’s grown on me. This is great Rory, I’m really happy for you kid.”

“Thanks. After all those years of being nomadic, here I am a career woman with a stable job, with a kid, and my own apartment. Predictability. I am finally an official adult.”

‘That you are. So how far is Logan from here?”

“30-minute walk, 10-minute drive.”

“Not bad. So, what’s going on with you and Logan?”

“What do you mean?”

“Rory, the man is still very much into you. I am just wondering where you are feeling wise.”

“I’m not sure.”

“Seriously? After all this time you are still not sure? I mean if I didn't know better I would think you were a couple. You have been playing house pretty convincingly for the last three months.”

“Yes, there has been a lot going on. I just started my job, I am moving in here. I, myself, am finally getting settled. I can’t think about anything else right now. I like the way things are now with us. God, I don’t need this pressure!”

“Hey, this is not pressure, ok? I am just wondering.”

“Why?”

“Today at the grocery store, Logan ran a colleague from work. The woman invited him out. He turned her down and was adamant about letting me know that. He looked and sounded guilty.”

“What did you say to him?”

“I told him who he talks to or goes out with is none of my business and that he was entitled to a life.”

“Oh. Well, that’s true.”

“I don’t know Rory. God’s honest truth? I feel sorry for the guy. I feel like you need to do something and do something soon; either reciprocate his feelings or let him go. This limbo thing is torturous for me to watch!! I can’t imagine how it is for him to live it.”

“What do you want me to do mom? I honestly can’t make a decision. Things are stable for me once in a long time. This is the problem with us, we are never on the same page. He wants to get married after college and I am not ready so we break-up. We meet up again years later, but he is engaged and I am a mess, so we have an affair. Now we have a baby together and he is ready and I am not again. It just seems we are never in sync when it comes to our relationship. And by the way, we had this discussion months ago, I told him that he should go and live his life not base that aspect of his life on me.”

“Ok then…”

“Ok, then what?”

“Ok then, you have everything under control. You are zen, you are the go in the flow. You accept that if he found someone else tomorrow, you would be ok with it?”

Rory was silent.

“Ah, I thought so.” said Lorelai, “Look, my intention is not to pressure you; I get needing to do things in your own time. But, I worry.  I just don’t want you to wait so long that you lose him and regret it later. If you really feel that you don’t belong together, then let him go so he can find happiness. However, if you love this man, truly love him, then try to find a way. Life is short Rory. If you have an opportunity for love, true love, then you should take it and revel in it as much as you can. There’s nothing better than being with the person who is truly for you.”

 


	39. Reckoning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another reworked chapter. Happy Reading!
> 
> I'm not sure if "reckoning" is the right word for this chapter. Any suggestions?

Reckoning

August 2017 – March 2018

New York, Star Hollow, Darien, and West Port

With the relocation and their return to work, Logan and Rory set about their new life in New York. As per their custody agreement, Hayden stayed with Rory Monday and Tuesday nights, and with Logan Wednesday and Thursday nights, trading off weekends. Their nanny Clementina, traveled with Hayden between the two households. At first, the new parents adhered to their agreement, staying away and giving space when it was not their time with their son, yet as time moved on and schedules were interrupted (a business trip or long night at work here, a special occasion there), the schedule became more relaxed and fluid. Before too long, Rory and Logan found themselves at each other places on days that were not theirs, dropping by for a quick lunch, a long and lazy dinner, and/or an afternoon walk. They always spent at least one weekend day together, going to the zoo, watching boats float by in Battery Park, or just running errands. Platonic sleepovers became so regular that both Logan and Rory started keeping a stash of clothes and toiletries at each other’s apartments.

As the holidays rolled around Rory and Logan made the decision to spend them together, ignoring yet another tenant of their custody agreement. It was a daunting task, seeing that they had to deal with three different branches of family all vying for time to spend with Hayden on his first holiday season.  Thanksgiving was spent in Star Hollow, where Logan and Hayden got to experience their first Gilmore-Danes/Star Hallow Dragonfly Thanksgiving Dinner, complete with an over-the-top meal created by Sookie, more bonding time for Logan and Taylor and, despite the fact that he brought a female companion, palpable yet peaceful tension between Logan and Jess. The rest of the weekend was spent with Logan’s family, which included an overnight stay and extended family get together at Logan’s parents’ house that included Christopher, Gigi, and Francine. Rory was pleasantly surprised at what a nice time she had hanging out with the Huntzbergers; she even found Shira tolerable after a few drinks. Christmas was just as busy with Christmas Eve and day spent at Honor and Josh’s house allowing Hayden to open presents with his cousins.   The next two days afterward found them at the very first “Very Gilmore-Danes-Hayden Christmas” in Stars Hollow with Rory’s side of the family. New Years, to their great relief, was much much quieter, with Rory and Logan ringing in 2018 in Logan’s apartment drinking champagne, eating doctored up frozen pizza, and watching the ball drop on TV while Hayden slept.

All in all the unconventional family into a fell into a comfortable rhythm, functioning in a flow that mimicked families in a more traditional arrangement. This did not go unnoticed. “What are you doing?” their family and friends would ask them individually in private. “You are functioning like a traditional family anyway, why don’t you make it official?” Try as they might Logan and Rory could not answer that question to anyone’s satisfaction. In the weeks and months following their move to New York, Logan and Rory were so focused on balancing the responsibilities of parenting and work, that there was little time to think about romance. Any questions regarding taking their relationship beyond co-parenting took a back burner. Finally reaching a point of relative balance and stability, Rory and Logan had no desire to change the status quo.

However, status quo was short lived. The change came on a random Sunday in March. Logan was over at Rory’s place minding Hayden while she packed to go on her first business trip. She was leaving mid-morning the next day for a trip to Chicago to work on the re-imagination and renovation of the historic Navy Pier. She was a bundle of nerves not only about the trip but also about leaving Hayden. Yes, thanks for their custody agreement, Rory had gotten used to being separated from him, but not so long and so far away. It was while she was packing and going over her lists that she got the text. Upon checking her phone she immediately went into shock. “Holy Crap!” she heard herself and Logan exclaim at the same time. Rory ran out to the living room to see Logan staring at his phone in shock as well, apparently receiving the same message. There was no denying it was not true; on their phones were the identical image of Finn and Louise showing off her newly acquired engagement ring with the message:

 

_We either have you two to thank or to blame. Time will tell. ;)_

_Prepare for a summer wedding in California! <3 L&F._

 

“The countdown to the apocalypses has begun!” Rory said in shock.

“Time to stock up on ammo and bottled water.” Logan countered.

They looked at each other and then dissolved into uncontrollable laughter, deep elated yet nervous laughter that left them both in tears.

“Oh, I can’t wait to hear Paris’ take on this,” Rory said once she got control of herself.

“Finn!! Of all people.”

“Oh come on, way deep down inside Finn is a hopeless romantic. Now Colin? That would be a sight.”

“He seemed pretty taken with your friend Madeline, they could have a double wedding.”

“Oh, God please no…” Rory responded half laughing, half horrified. After catching her breath, Rory became a bit pensive.

“What are you thinking Ace?”

“They met less than a year ago. Less than a year and they are already engaged. That's awfully fast, don't you think?“

“There are people who are together for years, get married only to break up a year later. There are people who marry two weeks after meeting and end up happily married for 50 or so years. Love is a funny, funny thing. For some people, they just know right away.”

“Yes, but how do you know that it’s right?”

“You just know I guess.”

Rory looked at Logan quizzically.

“Why are you looking at me that way?” Logan asked

“How did you know with Odette?”

Logan was quiet for a moment gathering his thoughts.

“I felt that I would not find anyone better.”

“And yet you cheated on her with me, how did that happen?”

“You know after you turned me down all those years ago, I was devastated. Those years I spent in California I didn’t date at all, I couldn’t even look at another woman. All the energy I had I poured into work. It was that hard to get over you. The successes I had in California helped me get my head together. By the time I moved back to London, I felt normal for the first time in a very very long time. That was about three years Rory.  While I did not go back to my old ways, I didn’t live a monastic life either. Odette was the first woman I connected with after you.”

‘What was so special about her?”

“She was, is different. She lived her own life, didn’t play the game that we were all groomed to play; she went off and did her own thing. She was independent, knew her own mind, and didn’t need anything from anyone. You and her have a lot in common come to think of it. It was that need to be herself, to live on her own terms, that made her attractive. And well, it didn't hurt that we got along, I mean really got along. She was a kindred spirit in many ways. She knew what it was like to have to balance the expectations of being from “that” family with wanting to be real and true to yourself. You know, she probably got kick out of as many prep schools as I did? I can’t say that what I felt for her wasn’t real. There were genuine feelings there, there was  _a_  genuine love.  However, there was always this twinge, this nagging feeling something was missing. I thought that it was because our relationship set a really high bar and therefore the expectation was impossible to reach. Bottom line, Odette and I got along and there were no compelling reasons for us to break up, and yes there was pressure from our families but in the end, we both felt getting married was what we were meant to do.”

"And then it wasn’t?”

“No, and then it got very, very, confusing.”

“And that happened when?”

“Hamburg.”

“Oh.”

“You told me last year that you never intended to start anything when we reconnected that day? Well, neither did I. When we were saying goodbye to each other in front of your hotel, I was feeling happy that after all we went through, we could be friends. And then you kissed me goodbye, and I totally lost it. Really Rory, I was a wreck for a week. It was the first time I seriously questioned my relationship with Odette.”

“So how did you reconcile that?”

“Cold feet? I mean isn’t that the standard answer? I thought I was just nervous about getting married. I mean doesn’t everyone have doubts at one point or another? I had genuine feelings for her Rory, I realize now that it was not in the way that would have made us totally happy, and that I was in a way settling, but I loved her enough to go ahead with the “dynastic plan.”

“And then, I came to London on that assignment…”

“…And blew everything to bits. I would have left her for you, but you brought up the ‘Vegas’ thing, which to me indicated that you were not interested in going the distance.  Anyway, after that encounter, I seriously thought that we were done. I was disappointed, but I thought I could move on.

“Then my grandfather died and ruined everything,” Rory interjected.

“Yes, I should have left it alone, but I could not bear not being there for you in some way. Richard was very important to you and I wanted to help. You know I almost flew back to Connecticut to be with you, but then I thought it would have been intrusive.”

Rory gave an ironic smirk.

“What?” Logan asked.

“The “Vegas” agreement. When I proposed it, I was also thinking that we would never see each other again. I have to confess though, in the month or so between London and my grandfather dying, I thought of you every day. There moments when I had to stop myself from contacting you. But, when you called me after grandpa died, I was so happy and grateful. There was no one else I wanted or needed at that time other than you. Seriously, Logan, I wouldn’t have made it through those weeks without you. It seemed that with every encounter we had the rule of “Vegas” were stretched.”

Rory walked over to her kitchen to pour herself a glass of water. “Hamburg was a revelation to me as well,” Rory confessed.

“Really?”

“Reconnecting in that cafe was surreal. I so happy to see you. The way things ended between us, the lack of contact all those years, I thought you hated me. I felt so glad and so proud when you told me about your life and was genuinely elated when you told me that you were engaged; All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. But then the day ended. After you dropped me off, I went to my hotel room and cried, because I felt like I lost something. I almost didn’t call you when I went to London that first time, but I did and you know the rest.”

Looking at Logan, Rory continued, “I proposed the Vegas arrangement because I was not in a good place then Logan, I was very lost. Being with you made me feel “found”? But then I didn’t want you to be the sole reason for me to “found” I needed to find my balance on my own. Anyway, you were engaged, I didn’t want a lovely yet seemingly impulsive night to ruin your life. I couldn’t be responsible for that.”

“You can’t take all the blame Rory, I should have told you what I was thinking.”

“Why didn't you?”

“You seemed so set on the whole idea of Vegas. That and the memory of you turning me down When I asked you to marry me made me scared. I thought that we were back to where we were, that didn’t you feel about me the same way I felt about you.”

“Back then, when you asked me to marry you, did you think I said no because I didn't love you? That was so not true Logan! I said no because I wasn’t ready for the exact life you wanted, not because I didn't love you.”

“I know that now. At that time I was embarking on a totally uncharted path and I was terrified. But I thought with you with me I would have been ok. That fight we got into earlier this year made me realize how unfair I was to you. I really wanted to marry you Rory, but the conditions of that proposal put a great burden on you.”

“I missed you so much during that time. So many weird and wonderful things happened following the Obama campaign. I was so sad not to have been able to share that with you. I wondered what would have happened if I had fought harder for you. But, you seemed so determined to fulfill your plan, and you seemed so angry with me for saying no, so I worked hard to let it go.”

“Would you have said yes If I gave you that space you needed?”

Rory was quiet for a moment.

“Yes, I probably would have.”

The two of them sat there silently digesting what was said, thinking about what could have been. Finally, Logan broke the silence, “And yet, here we are, together again. What now Rory?”

Rory looked at Logan.  _Yes Rory_ , she asked herself,  _what now?_

“Now?” Rory responded, “Now I have to pack for my trip.”

 


	40. Origin Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last of the flashbacks.

**Origin Story**

_August 2015_

_London_

_Standing at the arrivals gate in at Heathrow Airport, Rory took inventory of all her belongings; suitcase, laptop bag, purse with all her essentials, passport, notebooks, wallet, cash and credit cards. She walked past the exit towards the crowd of people waiting for their arrivals. She scanned the scene until her eyes fell upon a man holding a placard with her name. 10 minutes later she was in the back of a car spiriting her away to her hotel. There waiting for her in the lobby was the purpose of her visit; Naomi Shropshire._

_She had been pursuing the Naomi Shropshire angle for about six months. This year marked the twentieth anniversary where Britain made sweeping changes in laws regarding women and sexual assault, a legislation that was spearheaded by Naomi. The changes had a great influence on other changes that took place in other Western countries, including the US. Rory, believing that a Naomi story had teeth, pitched it to various publications, finally landing with _The New Yorker_ , featuring Naomi for their  _Talk of the Town_  column. After 5 years of chasing stories, 5 years of freelance uncertainty, five years of rejections, Rory felt an assignment that may, at last, give her solid footing in the journalism world._

_For the next four days, Rory spent every waking hour following Naomi. They had lunch with her colleagues, took a two night trip to her childhood home where Rory met and interviewed old friends, teachers, and neighbors. She hung out with her in the evenings drinking coffee laced with whiskey or bourbon.   It was exhausting work, as Naomi was a force to be reckoned with. She had the energy of a tornado, and the determination of a bull, but Rory was glad to have her days filled because it was not only meaningful work, but was also an excuse to avoid another matter, or rather person who occupied the non-Naomi space in her brain._

_That person being Logan Huntzberger._

_The last time Rory saw Logan was two months ago in Hamburg where she was covering an environmental conference where Naomi was the keynote speaker. Rory and Logan’s chance meeting happened in a café on what was supposed to be her last day in Hamburg; the connection only happened because New York flights were canceled due to inclement weather. She remembered their initial meeting being surprising and awkward as her last memory of him was the profound heartbreak she felt as he walked away from her after she turned down his marriage proposal. She thought about him often throughout the years; on good days she wished him well and hoped that he was happy, while on bad days she wondered what life would be like if she had made a different decision and said yes to his proposal. She knew something’s about his life as the internet made everyone’s live public, especially someone in the media business._

_And yet, there they were together again in some random café in Hamburg. The discomfort they felt at the onset of their meeting quickly faded, and the two of them fell back into the comfortable banter they once shared. They ended up spending the day together, playing tourist, all the while they continued their reconnection, updating each other on relatives and mutual friends, debating issues of the day, reminiscing about college life, and exchanging stories about their lives. At the end of the evening, after more coffee, dinner and after dinner drinks, he dropped off at her hotel. Standing outside of the hotel, they exchanged contact information, promising to stay in touch. They gave each other a long affectionate hug, and on impulse, she kissed him on the cheek. Then, with a smile and a wave she turned and walked into her hotel, where once out of site she practically ran to the elevator and up to her room, where she closed the door, sat on the floor, and dissolved into tears._

_Her reaction to their meeting made her hesitant to contact him again. Obviously, there were some unresolved feelings, but she could not pinpoint exactly what those feeling were. Was she still in love with him? Was she mourning the life that she could have had? Was this delayed reaction to their break-up that was so quick and had no real closure? She decided that she would not contact him as seeing him again would open old wounds that have long since healed. They both moved on, they were different people, so there was no point.   However, the pull was there; the need to reach out, the curiosity of how his life would continue, the longing to connect and to be in his presence again. _Maybe seeing him is what I need to do,_ she thought to herself _. Maybe seeing him will help me resolve my feeling and get closure once and for all._ It was safe after all, as he was engaged and she was seeing someone (albeit not seriously.)_

_Rory took solace in the fact that she probably couldn’t see him anyway as Naomi had every minute of the day booked. However, after a night out with Naomi of eating and drinking, plans changed. It started with Naomi canceling early morning on the last full day of her trip, “Dahling, so sorry, but I am feeling under the weather. I hate to cancel, but I don’t feel remotely human. Enjoy the free hotel room and play tourist for the day. I will be in touch.” said Naomi’s voicemail. At first, Rory looked at this as a good thing. She would find a place to write and dive into her article. She was here in London to work after all, not to play, and certainly not to hang out with ex-boyfriends.   Yet, try as she might not to give in, she lost her resolve around lunch. _Ok_ , she thought to herself.  _Just send a text. After all, it’s the last minute, he is probably busy or is out of town.__

_So she sent a text. Once she pressed “send” she nervously put her phone down, not knowing what to think._

_______________________________________________________________

_Logan was sitting in a meeting when the text came in._

 Hi, it’s Rory. I am in town for on assignment, wondering if you had time to grab of cup of coffee. I am here until tomorrow afternoon (4 pm flight.) No worries if you don’t have the time. I know it’s last minute.

_Logan sat there in shock. He knew that they made a promise that they would get in touch in the event they were in the same town, but never in his wildest dreams did he think it would actually happen (although he had to admit to himself he had hope that it would happen.)_

_Logan was at a loss at how to respond as his last encounter with Rory did not go as he expected. He thought about their goodbye when he dropped her off in front of her hotel after spending the day together in Hamburg, more specifically he thought about that innocent kiss cheek that sent him into a tailspin. For a week afterward, Logan was an emotional mess, resurrecting feelings that he thought were long dead and buried and, even worse yet, making him question his commitment to his fiancée._

_So what should he do?   Logic told him to send his excuses or just ignore the text. After all, he owed her nothing. But something else told him to text her back. Assurance, he old himself, assurance that meeting in Hamburg was a nothing. Meet with her, assure yourself that Hamburg was a fluke and move on._

Coffee?!?! You’re in England, it’s TEA! And just TEA? Are you free for dinner? I can show you the finer establishments of London cuisine. :)

 

_He immediately put down his phone, nervous about her response, not knowing what to think._

_______________________________________________________________

_What could she say? No? She couldn’t without looking foolish (at least that what she told herself.) She accepted, plans were made, and evening out with Logan was set. Looking at her wardrobe, Rory panicked. Nothing she brought seemed appropriate for a dinner with her ex, an ex who was engaged to a beautiful heiress who also happens to devote herself to saving the world. So instead of working, Rory spent the afternoon shopping, looking for the perfect outfit that would say, “I’m doing great but I am still devastatingly attractive” in an effective yet subtle way._

_They met at a café near his office. She was drinking her coffee when she saw him walking down the street. She stood up as he walked up to her. With a bright smile, he greeted her with a kiss on the cheek. After some polite chitchat, they set off to dinner, during which Rory talked about her week with Naomi. She described her experience with Naomi and her excitement about the prospect of being published in the _New Yorker_ and the possibilities of it leading to more. All the while she was talking, Logan paid close attention, smiling proudly at her as she recalled the week. “Work dork” Logan called her good-naturedly after she finished her account of her week in London. “Work dork dinner companion” Rory shot back._

_From that point, the slight tentativeness between them broke and before they knew it, they again settled into the familiar comfort of old friends. While it had been about a month since their last meeting, it seemed like days. Dinner led to a long walk around Hyde Park where they stopped every now and then to take in various street bruskers and other touristy sites. They eventually ended up at the bar of Rory’s hotel where they talked more and had after dinner drinks. Finally, around midnight, it was time to part. She walked Logan to the outside of the hotel entrance where he could hail a cab. “Thanks for a lovely evening.” She said to Logan, “It was great to see you again.”_

_“Yea” Logan replied, “Eight years of no contact and now, two meetings in less than two months. How lucky are we?   Thanks for getting in touch.”_

_“Well, if I am in London again, or you’re back in the states, let’s make sure to get in touch again.”_

_“That would be great.”_

_Logan put his hands on her arms. They both leaned in for a hug. However, unlike the hug they had during their goodbye in Hamburg, this one went longer, getting tighter and tighter as the seconds passed. Rory felt Logan bury his face in her hair breathing her in, while she realized that her hand was stroking the hair on the back of his head. Finally, they broke their embrace, leaning their foreheads together, obviously trying to fight the wave of emotion sweeping over them. The next thing they knew they were kissing.  When they parted they stood just looking at each other, holding each other’s arms, not wanting to let go. They knew that they were tied to other people; they knew that the right thing to do was to walk away and never contact each other again. But they didn’t, they couldn’t. Eight years, a lifetime of separate experiences, only to go full circle, back to the way they felt.  After a moment she let go of him and took one step back, her left hand still holding his right. She looked at him, knowing that she had a decision to make. L _et his hand go and you can walk away, no harm no foul,_ she told herself. Instead, she tightened her grip and took another step back, causing Logan to move a step forward with her.  Before they took the next step Logan interjected, “Ace? Are you sure? I can go home.” He said, meaning a word while at the same time hoping she would want to continue._

_Without saying a word, she stepped forward and kissed him again, then together they walked back to her hotel._

___________________________________________________

 

_While their night together was magical, in the light of day it looked very different. Rory stood in the bathroom brushing her hair deep in thought about the night before and what it meant, She missed him, dare she admitted she still loved him, but this did not erase the realities of their lives. Her life was in flux; she was unsure of so much. Moreover, he was engaged thus who knows what he was thinking last night. Was it one last hurrah, the need for closure for a relationship that ended so awkwardly? Or worse yet, did he revert back to his old ways and she was just another conquest? She had no idea as she could not say that she knew Logan anymore. All she knew was she needed to get control of the situation and fast._

_Logan, on the other hand, felt no confusion, he was still in love with Rory. How matters would shape up between them was unclear, but he knew that Rory was for him and that he had to end things with Odette. This would be hard, but he could not go into a marriage with her knowing how he felt about Rory._

_Room service arrived, and they both sat down for breakfast. It was Rory who spoke first._

_“So…” She said trying to be nonchalant._

_“So...” Logan said smiling at her._

_“Last night…”_

_“Last night.”_

_“I have many feeling right now.”_

_“Ok, just let it all out. What are you feeling Rory?”_

_“Last night was…wonderful. I haven’t felt that good on a long time.”_

_“Well, we were always in sync.”_

_“True. So the question is, what now?”_

_“What are you thinking?” Logan asked with a smile._

_“I am thinking while it was a wonderful night and I don’t regret it at all, in the light of day, this makes out lives rather complicated. My life is in flux and you are engaged…”_

_“Are you feeling bad about that Rory?”_

_“Well, now that that reality has set in, yes,”_

_“Please don’t. This was just as much your decision as mine. I could have stopped.”_

_“Then why didn’t you?”_

_“Because I felt like there was still so much between us.”_

_“And how do you feel now?”_

_“I feel like I know how I feel about us.”_

_“Me too.”_

_“Really.”_

_“Closure.”_

_“Excuse me?”_

_“Closure. The way we ended all those years ago, with you just walking away, there was still so much emotion there. Lastnight was a culmination of emotions. Don’t you agree?”_

_Logan looked at her trying hard to keep his emotions in check. Her statement was not at all what he expected. While utterly crestfallen, there was no denying that there was some truth to Rory's observation. They did end with so much unspoken. Perhaps that what this month was all about, unresolved feeling._

_“Yes,” Logan replied, “It was all about closure.”_

_“So we’re good?’_

_“Yes, more than good. So in our minds, this encounter will be known as Logan and Rory’s last hurrah?”_

_“Ummm, no. How about…Vega?.” She proposed._

_“As in??” he responded confused._

_“As in, ‘whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”_

_Logan looked at Rory with a reassuring smile “Vegas it is.”_

_Logan stayed after breakfast, keeping Rory company while she packed and took her to the airport. Standing at the security they said their goodbyes, not knowing if or when they would see each other again. After a heartfelt goodbye which included a hug and a chaste kiss on the cheek, Rory turned left. Just as she did before in Hamburg, after clearing security and out of sight, Rory cried, but this time she felt relief. Life with Logan was officially done._

_Meanwhile, as he again stood watching her departing image, Logan resolved to erase all doubt his encounter with Rory created in his mind. If he and Rory were really meant to be, it would have happened by now he thought. She was right, this was about closure. Now that he got it, he could move on, marry Odette, and live the life he was destined to have._


	41. Reboot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who are reading this again, yes, I made some changes. I published this story on FF as well as turned it in for a writing assignment and this chapter got the most red flags among the critiques. So I added a couple of paragraphs to better flesh it out. 
> 
> Enjoy!

**Reboot**

March 2018

Chicago and New York

The next morning both Rory and Logan woke up in their respective apartments, groggy from lack of sleep and full of angst thanks to the revelations from their rather intense conversation the night before.

As anxious as Rory was about her trip, part of her was thankful to be 800 miles away in Chicago. She needed that much space to think. _Mom was right,_ she thought as she traveled to her destination, _it’s time to settle the Logan question once and for all._ She thought about the first time she and Logan set eyes on each other, when he, Colin, and Finn insulted Marty at the coffee cart. The argument they had the first time they talked when he told her to call him "Master and Commander." His natural tendency towards arrogance, the bridesmaids, proposing to her at her graduation party and his other over-the-top gestures that border on impulsiveness. His inability to decide between her and Odette. The fact that he went back to work for Huntzberger Media, how different they are in terms of background, experience, family.

But, she admitted to herself, Logan was not really the issue. The real issue was _her_. She thought about Hayden and how much she loved him and how thankful she was to be his mother. However, she had to admit she was not happy about the circumstances that brought on his existence. Her decision to stretch the bounds of the “Vegas” agreement betrayed so much of what she thought of herself to be. It wasn’t just the fact that was Logan was engaged but also the fact she clung onto him because she felt so lost, allowing her to continue on a destructive path. Yes, she failed, but that wasn’t the end of it all, in fact, it was the very beginning. So much had changed since those lost days she had a job she loved, a home, and best of all a son and a family life that she would not trade for anything. But what about Logan? Was it really love or just remanents her being needy? Just because they had a child together did not mean they were right for each other. She thought about her parents, their inability to let go, and the mistakes they made as a result.  She feared to repeat the mistakes of her parents, she feared not breaking the cycle.

However, she also thought about the Logan she interacted with every day; how he was at her side throughout her pregnancy; how he tries his best to be a hands-on parent. She thought about the seemingly benign things he did that made a big difference such as stocking up on her favorite coffee, cleaning up her kitchen, making sure she has a ride home when she worked late at night. She thought about how easily they settled back into the familiar comforts of their relationship and how no matter how tense situation got between them, they always found some sort of equilibrium. She remembered how he told her she was 'special' that first time he kissed her at her grandparent's vow renewal, how he supported her when she took the semester off from school. She also remembered how he dropped everything to be with her when her grandfather had his heart attack during her senior year at Yale and also how he supported her after he died. She thought about how he was the first person she called when something good or bad happened in her life. She thought about how he always goes out of his way to give her what she needed and wanted. She thought about his generous nature, heartfelt sincerity, and how he always pushed her beyond her comfort zone and to break out of the protective shell to which she was always compelled to retreat. She was a better person for knowing him, but was all of that enough?

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Logan spent the day consumed with thoughts of Rory. He asked himself time and time again, why her? What was it about this woman that made him so crazy? He remembered how naïve and sheltered he thought she was when they first met. How she was not good at handling failure, her tendency to be standoffish and to shut herself off when she was mad or scared. He was high society and she was middle class and showed that she was not interested in dealing with the pressures of his family. She was also fiercely independent to a fault; In the end, she really didn’t really _need_ him; she could go on with life and be ok.

However, it was those things about Rory that drove him crazy were also exactly why he found her so attractive. He loved her because she was different. He remembered the argument they got into the first time he remembered meeting her, how he goaded her just so he could talk to her more and how taken he was with her after she refused to back down from his arguments. He remembered jumping off the scaffolding with her, the look on her face when they landed and how he wanted to kiss her at that moment. He also thought about what a good mom she was to Hayden and how her love and care made him want to be a better father. While she knew how life worked in "his" world, she never cared to fully embrace that life, wanting instead to forge her own path.  He played Rory’s words from one of their arguments last year, “did it ever occur to you that if you would have given me just a little space, I would have said yes?” Time and time again he felt rejected by her, but now looking at eh big picture, he wondered did she reject him or did she simply reject what and how he wanted things.   Her refusal to dive back into a relationship shouldn’t have surprised him because Rory was always a decerning person. A lesser person would have just fallen in line, let him and his family take care of everything, and let circumstances dictate their life, but not Rory, she wanted to be deliberate about her life and while frustrating and heart wrenching, he had to respect Rory's need and want to get her life together on her own terms. Before he met Rory he was just some poor little rich kid going through the motions of a life set out for him. Meeting her opened a world of possibilities beyond his predestined existence, a world in which he chose what would make him happy. With her, there was no pretense, no pressure to be anything other than himself.  

Without her, he drifted back into that life of expectation.  He was better for having known her and he knew he loved her, but was that enough to make them both happy?

________________________________________

That evening, Rory was in her room trying unsuccessfully to review a document when her Facetime started ringing. Upon answering the call she found Hayden's face taking up the whole screen.

“Hi, Mommy!” Logan said, as he hid behind the baby and moved his arms in a wave, “ I love you, miss you, mommy.”

“I love and miss you too! What did you do today?”

“Well, I drank tons of milk and went to music class with Clementina. And I also spent the day playing with my friend Nathan’s Sheltie puppy at the park. I think I may be in love.”

“Oh dear. That’s a conversation we will reserve for another year” Rory took a deep breath trying very hard to be as relaxed as possible, “and how is your father holding up?”

Logan moved from behind Hayden, “I’m good. You are gone, I am full-time parenting, so therefore time for issues to explode at the office.”

“Is it bad?”

“Nothing that I can’t handle, it just annoying and time-consuming.

“Oh, sorry to hear that.”

So tell me about it, Mary Tyler Moore, what fascinating things did you do today??”

Rory proceeded to tell Logan about her day; The flight in, the traffic in comparison to New York, their counterparts in the Chicago, and the scope of work they have to accomplish.

Rory was in mid-sentence when Logan interrupted her, ‘Whoa Ace, it’s bedtime for our friend here, he seems to be fading fast.”

“Ok, I forgot we're an hour behind. Go ahead.”

“Ok” again, putting Hayden in front of him so Rory could see him fully onscreen again, “Good night mommy, see you tomorrow. I love you!”

“I love you too baby”, Rory said to her son.“So you have a quiet, lazy evening planned?”

“Well, as quiet as staying up and reviewing documents can be. It’s nice, gives one time to think.”

“Well think I shall let you do...Goodnight Ace.”

“Goodnight Logan.”

They hung up feeling just as confused as ever.

________________________________________________________

The next day Rory managed to compartmentalize her thoughts about Logan enough to get through the workday, proud that she was able to stay focused enough to fully participate in her meeting s and accomplish other tasks she set out that day. However, try as she might to distract herself, little thoughts about Logan managed to invade her head in insidious ways. People running or biking along the lakefront reminded her of him. The skyscrapers of the Chicago skyline reminded her of taking Logan’s hand as they leaped off the scaffolding during that first Life and Death Brigade event. Watching a group of young people singing along to a song as they sat in traffic reminded her of her and Logan singing along to songs on the radio while soaking in the sites during the various road trips they took during their relationship.

After work, Rory returned to her hotel. Walking past the registration desk towards the elevators, she spotted Logan standing in front of the elevators with Hayden in his stroller. Excited that Logan came to surprise her, she walked quickly towards them. _OMG,_ Rory thought, _it is just like Logan_ _to come and surprise me like this._ She was a mere five feet away when only to have her stop in her tracks when another woman walked up to the man and gave him a kiss. It wasn’t Logan, but someone who looked liked him from behind.

All at once Rory felt a rush of intense disappointment, so much so that she was on the verge of tears. However, that disappointment quickly followed by realization and excitement. It was there all along, only now at this moment was she ready to accept it. She was in love with Logan and wanted to be with him.

Rory stepped into the elevator, pressed the “11” button and stood in the corner impatiently waiting while her fellow elevator mates got off on their respective floors. After seemingly forever, she finally reached her floor where she hurried to her room and set up her laptop in time to receive her Facetime call. Just as she signed in her computer started ringing with the icon on her screen soon giving way to the images of the smiling Hayden and Clementina, sitting in what Rory knew as Logan’s living room.

“Hi, Rory! Can you say hi to mommy Hayden?” Clementina greeted.

“Hey, what are you doing there?” Rory asked trying not to sound disappointed.

“Logan had an issue at work. He wasn't sure what time he could come home so he asked me to stay. My sister is on her way with food, I think after Hayden goes to sleep we're going to binge watch the last season of _Supernatural.”_

“That sounds like fun,” Rory said.

Rory and Clementina discussed Hayden's day and the schedule for Friday. Rory thensaid goodnight to Hayden and then hung up. “Tomorrow,” Rory thought to herself, “tomorrow I will talk to him.”

______________________________________________________

After a day of angst and uncertainty, Logan finally felt focused. Work emergencies, as painful as they were, took his mind off the Rory situation enough to give him distance and clarity. After more than ten years of the ghost of Rory haunting his emotions, it was time to put his heart on the line and tell Rory once and for all what he wanted and needed. This time though, he wasn’t scared of the outcome. This time he was ready to let the chip fall as they may, to accept by would come, even if it wasn’t what he wanted.

He formulated his plan the evening before Rory came home. Because he had to work late, Clementina planned to spend the night at his place with her sister and Hayden. The next day he planned to work from home in the morning and then relieve Clementina at around lunchtime. She would then return in the evening to watch Hayden while Logan took Rory out for a drink so they could talk. It was time for him to move forward with or without Rory.

________________________________________________________

Rory journeyed home on the 9 am flight the next morning. As she watched the approaching New York skyline through the airplane window, she contemplated how she would tell Logan about her new perspective. She questioned whether or not he would be willing to give them another chance. The thought of rejection made Rory feel both emotionally and physically sick, but she had to say something. For the first time in a long time, she knew where she stood in her relationship with Logan and she wanted to be honest about it.

As Rory’s plane was approaching New York, Logan was arriving in Rory’s apartment. He arrived early, with the intention of getting Hayden fed and down for his nap so he could mentally prep before putting his plan in motion. He would help get Rory settled, make plans for dinner, and then afterward take her out to have their talk. Logan fed and changed Hayden and got him ready

for his nap, only to find that he left Hayden’s sleep blanket at his apartment. Try as he might to soothe, Hayden was fussy, crying, and unable to sleep, taking away Logan’s quiet time to mentally prepare.

About an hour later Rory arrived home to find Logan pacing around her apartment with Hayden trying to get him to settle down for his afternoon nap. Upon seeing her Logan put his fingers to his lips and mouthed the question, “Is he asleep?” Seeing her nod her head yes, Logan let out a relieved sigh and proceeded to Hayden’s bedroom where he gingerly put him down in his crib. “Oh thank God.” Logan vented to Rory as he closed the door to Hayden’s room. “We forgot to pack his sleep blanket. I’ve been trying to get him to sleep for about an hour!”

“Where is Clementina?”

“My afternoon meetings were canceled so I decided to blow off work. I let Clementina leave early. She’s been pulling longer duty this week, and I wanted to give her a break.”

“That’s very nice of you.”

“Yes, that is until I realized that we forgot the blanket. I don’t know who cried more, Hayden or me.” Logan said with a self-deprecating smile.

Rory laughed, “Well I am glad you survived.”“So welcome back! How was the rest of your trip?”

“Great! Last night after my Facetime call with Hayden, the team and I met in the hotel bar and were able to hammer out a formal timeline which the Pier people approved it this morning, so we are good to go.”

“It’s amazing how productive people can be after a few martinis!”

“I know right? I’m probably going to have to make a couple more extended trips to Chicago in the upcoming months. I don’t know how we are going to handle that with the baby...”

Logan shook his head assuredly, “Don’t worry that won’t be an issue. I can take him more days, or you could even take him with you. I don’t think Clementina would mind a working vacation in Chicago. And if you are there for an extended period of time, I could always fly out. We’ll make it work Ace.”

“Thanks, that’s good to know.” Rory, realizing that she was smiling and staring at Logan for a bit too long, turned away blushing. “So, have you eaten lunch? I think I have a can of soup in the cupboard.”

“No, I think I better take off and let you get settled. Plus I need run home and get that blanket or you’re in for a rough night.”

“No hurry. Hayden and I can walk over to your place when he wakes up. Or do you have plans for dinner? We can meet up half way.”

Logan smiled happy that he didn’t have to suggest dinner, making his plan that much easier, “Sure, at the usual place? 5:30?”

“It’s a date.”

“Great!” Logan placed his hand on Rory’s arm and leaned in to give her their customary hello/goodbye kiss on the cheek. But, as Logan withdrew his face from hers, he sensed her head turn and then the sensation of her lips sweeping against his face. He straightened to find Rory looking at him with a hopeful expression. The next thing they knew they were kissing. A long, soft, and very meaningful kiss. As they continued, their kiss became more passionate, fueled with all the emotions kept at bay for the last week. Before it went too far Logan broke away, “Ace,” He said, trying to catch his breath, “What are you thinking? Please just don’t let this be just a fleeting moment, my heart can’t take that.”

“I was just answering that question you posed before I left,” Rory replied. 

“What question was that?”

“What now?”

“And?”

“I would say that we should move forward...together.”

“Together?” Logan asked excitedly.

Rory placed her hands on Logan’s face and kissed him softly before resting her forehead on his. With tears in her eyes she told him definitively “Yes Logan, I want us to be together.”

Logan could not help but smile back.

_________________________________________________________

An hour or so later, while wrapped together in Rory’s bed, Rory recounted to Logan her epiphany while in Chicago. The story made Logan laugh. “Ace! If I had known that sending you off to Chicago would restart our relationship, I would have packed you off months ago.”

“I’m just glad that you were patient and was still interested.”

Logan gave her a tender kiss, “How could I not be interested in you? I do confess,” he said with a smile, “there was a point where I almost, just almost gave up.”

“You did? When?”

“Just before we left Star Hallow for here the first time. I saw you and Jess at the gazebo. You two just seemed to so together; I thought we were not going to happen.

“What brought you back?”

“Sloan.”

“The real estate agent?”

“Yes. When I saw that you were ready to go 12 rounds with her after her shameless flirting, I had hope.”

“And all this time I thought you were oblivious.”“It was hard not to miss. Subtlety was not her strong suit.”

“I was pretty ticked off, especially the part where she was like “Oh, Hayden, he’s so adorable” after she found out I was not an employee, but the mother.”

Logan laughed again, “Seeing you resisting the urge rip her head off was the best part of that afternoon.”

“Well, at least I was entertaining.”

“Indeed you were. But that day gave me hope. Your reaction meant that we still had a fighting chance. I admit, after that visceral display, I was so tempted to do some sort of over-the-top gesture to show you how I felt and possibly get you back on my side. But then I remembered that argument we got into the day that my parents ambushed Lorelai and Emily, and I decided to hold back.

“And your fiendish plan worked.”“It was nerve-wracking, but well, we are here right?”

“It certainly did”

Looking at each other they started to kiss again, growing more passionate with each second.

“So,” Rory asked when Logan broke away to kiss her collarbone, “where do we go from here?”

Before Logan could answer, Hayden started to cry.

Moment ruined, Logan sighed with a frustrated smile, “I’ll get him,” he said.

The two got up and quickly dressed. Logan left the room and returned a minute later with the newly awakened Hayden, who laughed excitedly at the site of his long-absent mother.

“Hi there buddy” Rory happily greeted as Logan handed him to her, "I missed you so much!"

Logan got back into bed with Rory and Hayden, where they stayed for the next hour, playing with their baby, and being together.

Later that afternoon, Logan and Hayden arrived at their apartment. They left Rory at her place, giving her a chance to get settled in, unpack, and shower, while they went to Logan's to retrieve the sleep blanket. After securing the blanket and canceling plans with Clementina, Logan sat Hayden down on his high chair to give him a snack. While he ate, Logan placed a box in front of Hayden, opening it up to show him the ring Logan had bought for Rory all those months ago. “I bought this ring more than a year ago with the intention of sweeping your mom off her feet,” he told Hayden, “little did I know what news she had in store for me!” Logan smiled at his son, “So, what do you think? Should I do it or should I wait?” Hayden smiled at Logan and grabbed the box. “You’re right, I should just do it.”

A half-hour later, the three of them met at the playground. To the outside world, Logan, Rory, and Hayden looked like a typical New York family enjoying a warm spring evening, but to Rory the change was palpable. She felt freer and lighter than she has in a long time. She felt safe and secure. She felt for the first time in her life she was finally home.

“You know, we never got that conversation started,” Logan said as he pushed Hayden on the swing.

“What conversation was that?”

“Where do we go from here?”

“Oh yes. You have any thoughts on that?”

“Why, yes I do, here.” Logan took out a small object from his pocket and put it in Rory’s hand.

Rory looked to find a small blue box which contained vintage engagement ring. In that moment Rory remembered the words her mother spoke to her several weeks ago. “If you have an opportunity for love, true love, then you should take it and revel in it as much as you can...”

She looked at Logan with a wide smile, _yes_ she thought, _yes I want to marry this man_. “Fine,” she replied with a wide smile.

“Fine?!? Really? Fine?!? Well, ok then,” Logan returned with an equally wide smile.

He took back the box, removed the ring, and placed it on her finger. He then grabbed Rory, lifting and swinging her around in the happiest hug he had ever given.

Upon seeing his parents engaged in such an emotional embrace, Hayden started to cry as if he was feeling left out. “Oh no don’t cry, “ Rory pleaded, picking up her son. Logan then embraced and kissed the two of them, quietly celebrating the moment. Finally, on track, he thought. Finally, we are together.

“I love you Ace,” Logan said to Rory.

“I love you too.”

 

 

 

 


	42. Long Time Coming

**Long Time Coming**

 

March-May 2018

New York, Stars Hollow

 

Later that night back at Logan's place, Rory was looking at her engagement ring while brushing her teeth when she realized something.  “Umm, Logan, “ she asked as she got into bed, “we were only separated for about two hours this afternoon.  You mean to tell me that you bought an engagement ring within that period of time with Hayden in tow?”

“Well, no,” replied Logan sheepishly, “I’ve had it for a while.”

“How long?”

“I bought it the day after we saw each other in Philadelphia.  You know after we made the date to meet-up?”

"You're kidding?  A little overconfident there Mr. Huntzberger?"

"No, I bought it just in case.  Believe me, I played many scenarios in my head on how that date was going to end.  The ring was me being optimistic?  Of course, you telling me that you were pregnant didn't even enter my mind."

“Wow.  I  _really_  ruined that day for you.  You and me and proposals…geez”

"Well, I held on to it because I had hope.  Third time's a charm I guess.” He replied with a smile.

“I guess it is.”

“You know I almost didn’t bring the ring with me?  Hayden and I had a pretty serious debate about it.”

“Really now?”

“Yes, after much back and forth he told me to just do it.  It was time.”

“That’s one insightful kid.”

“Yes, he is!   So how are we going about this?  Want to go for the big over-the-top wedding?  My mom would love it!” Logan said with the twinge of sarcasm.

“No!”

“We can go to the city registry next week or fly to Vegas tomorrow. Have that Elvis wedding of your dreams.  We can just get it done, no fuss.”

“Elope?  As romantic as it sounds, I don’t think I want to do that either.  I can’t get married without my mom, grandma, and the rest of the family.  And Lane…and even Paris.”

“Paris?”

“I know, knock me over with a feather.”

“Well, we can have a small ceremony, but we’re going to have to fight for it.  It got really ugly the last time…”

“When you were planning with Odette.”

“Yea…”

“We can avoid that.” 

 

The next morning Rory, Logan, and Hayden took off for Stars Hallow.  They broke the news to Lorelai and Luke in the middle of the Saturday afternoon lunch rush, who met the news with overwhelming joy and relief (Luke was so happy that he gave out free dessert and coffee to everyone for the rest of the day.)  A call was made to Emily, who immediately made plans with Rory to go through their clothing storage in search of Emily’s wedding gown. 

“Grandma that’s generous of you, but it won’t it be a bit too formal for what we are planning?” Rory warned.

“Oh, you can take it and see if the dressmaker can modify it to your taste.  It’s would be such a shame if it was not used again.” Emily reassured.

Next, they cornered Taylor, who Logan charmed into opening up the Star Hollow event calendar so they could secure a group of possible dates.  After a quick visit with Christopher, Honor and Josh, and Logan’s parents, as well as phone calls to Emily, Francine, April, Lane, Paris, Colin, Finn, and Robert, a date was picked, May 19, 2018.

“Logan that is so soon,”  Shira lamented to Logan in private after being informed of the date, “are you sure this is what you want?”

“Well no mom, this is what Rory wants.  If it were up to me we would have gotten married today in Vegas.  Be happy that you were invited.”

With that Shira dropped the subject.

 

The wedding planning began in earnest.  They had barely six weeks to go and much to do.  Sookie took on the task of catering without begin asked while Lorelai, with Kirk as her assistant,  took charge of the décor and reception arrangements.  They decided that the ceremony itself would be in the town square and that the reception would take place at the new Dragonfly Annex.   Because it was important to his parents, Logan and Rory agreed to have the Huntzberger family minister officiate the wedding along with Reverand Skinner, while Lane and Zach were asked to provide the music.  The next month was a flurry of activity, contacting guests, mailing invites, seating arrangements, food tasting, flowers, as well as weekly visits the dressmaker to check on the design and fit of Emily's refashioned wedding dress and, thanks to the constant reminders from Mitchum and Emily, a couple of meetings with their respective lawyers to iron out their prenup. 

Before they knew it their wedding week arrived.  Rory and Hayden went ahead to Stars Hollow to check on the wedding preparations.  Remembering the chaos she witnessed and participated in when her friends got married, she was confirmed in her choice to keep the wedding small and simple.  “Everything is under control,”  Lorelai told her upon her arrival. Thanks to Lorelai’s experience, planning, and a network of help, the wedding was in fact under control.  However, despite her mother’s assurances, Rory had her checklist anyway and proceeded to go over every detail.  The weather forecast called for cool but clear making the outdoor ceremony they desired possible.  The tents and other items for their early evening reception were delivered with Kirk supervising the setup.  Sookie was cooking up a storm and ahead of schedule, while the wedding desserts from Weston’s were all set.  Lorelei and Rory finished the preparations in the apartment above the diner, making bouquets, boutonnieres, and other flower arrangements. 

 

The wedding day finally arrived.  Rory, looking out the window of the diner, watched as relatives and friends started gathering in the square.  She saw Logan, looking rather sharp in his freshly pressed gray suit, carrying Hayden while walking around and greeting their guests.  “Kid” Rory heard Lorelai say, “Nervous?”

“No, not really.  Just excited.  Mom, everything looks so beautiful!  Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me, thank Kirk.  I gave him the idea and he went with it.  I tell you, wedding coordinator may be his calling.”

“I am glad we had a nice day.”

“Luck has been running on your side lately.  Enjoy it.”

Rory got up and walked around the diner. 

“Just how much money do you think we’ve spent eating here?”

“Oh, I don’t want to know. Perhaps enough to buy a small Caribbean island and then some.”

“I think we would have saved so much money if we learned how to cook.”

“Yes, but think of all the fun we would have missed just staying home?  Our lives were made all the richer because we didn’t cook.”

Rory picked up a mug and let out a small laugh.

“What are you thinking?”  Lorelai asked.

“Do you remember my first meal here?”

“Yes, it was the third day after we moved into the house.”

“You were trying so hard to be domesticated, insisting on cooking breakfast for me every morning.”

“And after I nearly burned down the house the third time,  we gave up and came here.”

“I remember, Luke refused to give me coffee.”

“Well, you were only 10.”

“Yes, he gave me hot chocolate instead, so I drank your coffee.”

“How long was it before he gave up?”

“About two weeks.  I think your diatribes on coffee and our shared DNA wore him down.”

“You’ve come a long way since then kid,”

“So have you!”

“Yes, life is good.  It took a weird turn, but life is good.”

“Sometimes those turns is just what we need to find our true destination.  Life full circle.”

“Wow, well aren’t you just Ms. Profound today.”

“I can’t help it, it’s my wedding day!”

“Oh honey, I am so happy for you.  He’s not 1/2 bad that Logan guy.”

“Yes, and he makes cute babies too!”

“The cutest!”

“Mom, you think things are going to change now that I am getting married?”

“In what way?”

“I don’t know, it seems like such a momentous occasion.  One would think there would be a great change.”

“No, I think things will evolve as they will.  Good, bad, easy, difficult, no matter where you are or what you’re doing I’ve got your back kid.  Always.”

“Thanks, mom, I have yours too.”

Rory’s phone dinged,  indicating a text from Lane.

“Lane says they’re ready for us,”  Rory informed Lorelai.

Lorelei turned to her daughter, brimming with pride.

“Are you ready?” Lorelai asked.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

A few minutes later, wearing a dress fashioned from Emily wedding dress, Francine’s jewelry, and carrying a bouquet wrapped with one of Richard’s bowties, Rory walked down the aisle holding her mother’s hand.  Waiting for her at the other end at the foot of the gazebo surrounded by their families was the smiling Logan.  It was a relaxed ceremony.  Lane and Zach provided simple yet beautiful music.  The ministers who officiated the ceremony spoke of the nature of love and marriage, weaving in stories of their interactions with Rory and Logan throughout the years.  Honor read a poem about love and family, with Logan and Rory reciting their own carefully crafted vows.   Twenty minutes later, with the exchange of rings and a kiss, Rory and Logan were married.  In a shower of flower petals and applause, the newly married couple walked down the aisle where they kissed again, then proceeded to the Annex to their reception.   

It was a wonderful reception, filled with, delicious food, great music, and lots of stories and laughter. Mitchum, Shira, and Honor entertained with various stories and pictures of Logan’s lifetime of exploits, while Lane and Paris shared tales of Rory’s childhood and teenage years. April and Gigi gave a touching speech on having Rory as a sister, while Colin, Finn, and Robert recited a funny if not off-color limerick about Logan. Then it was Lorelai’s turn.

_… You two, my God, I think I speak for everyone when I say we are so happy and RELIEVED that we have finally arrived on this day. It’s been a long time coming. It was a rocky journey, one that would have ripped mere mortals apart, but like that that is goblin made, that strife only made you stronger. Hang on to that moxy you two. We all love you and wish you a lifetime of joy._

With the early sunset and the onset of the early spring chill, the party began to break up mid-evening.  Grateful for everyone’s support, Logan and Rory made sure to say goodbye to every guest. Having said their farewells, they gave Hayden a big hug and kiss then joined hands to leave to spend their first night together as husband and wife.

“Ready?” Logan asked

“Ready”, Lorelai replied

Together they headed out towards the wide-open future.


	43. Epilogue: Sixteen Months Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Checking in with Rory and Logan sixteen months after their wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we've reached the end. Thank you all very much for reading this story, especially those who stuck with me through all three versions!
> 
> Notes: I got the idea for Rory's career turn from the story "oh forget i said love, but also don't forget i said love" by JannP. JannP's idea about Rory's writing career was a true "aha" moment. If you have not read this beautifully written story, make it a point to do so.
> 
> Logan's job description was lifted from the News Corp website.
> 
> Lastly, as it is 4:23 am and I am a bit punch drunk, please excuse the typos. I promise to fix them.
> 
> I dedicate this last chapter to Loonymarauder and Huntzmore, whose comments helped me stay motivated. Thanks. :)

**Epilogue:**  
**Sixteen Month Later**

New York

  
August 2019

 

“So are you ready to face the crowd?” Rory asked Logan.

“As ready as I'll ever be. I can’t wait to see the look on everyone’s faces when they announce that I won’t be taking the job as Co-Chair.” He responded with a smirk.

“Everyone is so sure you will!! The article I read in the _Wall Street Journal_ yesterday was written like you already had the job.”

“I know. I’m not sure if the news of these appointments is going to make this evening fun or unbearable. Really, we need to hatch an escape plan just in case it gets too much.”

“Ok, I’ll fake a migraine or food poisoning, or I'll call in a Hayden emergency and we can take off immediately.”

“Better yet, we could just slip out quietly when no one is looking. It will add to the mystery.”

“Ah yes, intrigue.  Ok, but only after dessert. The Yale Club has excellent desserts.”

“Deal.”

 

Saturday evening in the Gilmore-Huntzberger household. Rory and Logan were in their bedroom, getting ready for the annual Huntzberger Media Group party.  While the  White House Correspondents Dinner was known as the "Nerd Prom", media events such as this was billed in the industry as "Homecoming".  However, tonight was of particular interest as rumors have been swirling for weeks regarding major changes in the corporate personnel and structure the Huntzberger Media Group.  The whole extended Huntsberger family was attending.  

The shake-up at HMG provided an ample amount of drama for Logan. After much consternation and a health scare, Mitchum made the announcement of his imminent retirement and the creation of the position of Co-Chair while he transitioned out of the daily business in a closed board meeting.   While Mitchum's impending plans were supposed to be a secret, word leaked out, setting a buzz in the media world with all reports and rumors pointing to Logan taking over for his father. For the month between the board meeting and the party,  Mitchum worked every angle to convince Logan to take the Co-Chair position, but in the end, Logan turned it down, stepping aside to let his cousin Darby take the helm. While angry and put off at first, Mitchum eventually relented giving his endorsement to Darby, which was immediately ratified by the Board of Directors. Logan was then promoted to Darby’s role as Chief Strategy Officer, where (as his website bio explained) he “oversaw a dynamic team working on global mergers and acquisitions to further grow and diversify the company’s portfolio while fostering innovation and synergies across HMG businesses.” Logan was grateful for the challenge, happy that he was able to set his career goal on his own terms, and even more grateful that he had a job that interested him but was not so overwhelming that it took time away from Rory and Hayden.

 

“…So Jacqueline e-mailed confirming that she finished reading our latest draft. We start editing on Monday. This is not going to be pretty.” Rory told Logan as she walked out of the bathroom.

“The process never is,” Logan replied.

“I know, I just hope she won't be too draconian. I almost went off on her on the last round of edits.”

“Jacqueline is one of the best in the business. It’s not personal.”

“I know, as much as I have been edited in my life, I will never get used to it.”

“Now that I understand.”

 

For Rory, life took an interesting turn as well as she was embarking on the journey of published author.  It started when she and Olivia attended the closing performance of New Haven's The Cooperative Arts and Humanities School summer theatre program which was sponsored by the alumni of the Yale School of Drama. Lucy, Olivia and Rory's friend, served as a teacher and advisor for the marquee performance; a production of the graphic novel _Drama_ by Raina Telegemeier. With Lucy's guidance, the students adapted, directed, and produced the play.  Watching a production based on a story about tween life reminded Rory or her own childhood and her love of books and a good story. Likewise, Olivia became excited about the world of graphic novels and the possibilities of reaching new generation audiences through visual art. Together they decided to create their own novel, using Olivia's artwork and excerpts from Rory’s unpublished novel about her life growing up with Lorelai. Within six months they had the first four chapters of _Chronicles of Mary: A Coming of Age Story about a Smalltown Girl with Big Dreams._    The story centered on the adventures of a sixteen-year-old girl named Renny Graham and her single mother Lauren.  The story included best friend Keiko, grandparents Kelly and Edward, and prep school frenemy Geneva ("Congratulations and good luck on the novel.  You know I will sue your ass if you portray me as unsympathetic."  e-mailed Paris) and an array of supporting characters who helped inform her life.  Rory and Olivia published the stories on their own website, spreading the word through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and various other social media outlets. Soon their stories were linked to other sites such as _Sandee Says_ and _A Mighty Girl_ , garnering them a following which eventually led to a book deal with Doubleday Books.

 

 "Is Gigi all settled in?" Logan asked.

"Pizza, ice cream, every variety of flavored carbonated water imaginable and wifi access?  Yea, she's good, in fact, she can't wait for us to leave so she can have the run of the house,"  Rory replied as she put on her earrings.

"I'm so glad she was available to babysit this weekend."

"Hey, I think she would have done anything to get out of the house.  Dad has been laying down the law lately.  We may see her more often."

"You think we can take her with us on our trip to Belize?  It would be nice to have an extra set of hands.  Maybe she could even bring a friend."

"Sure, let's ask her.  I'm sure she will jump at the chance."

 

While career aspiration brought Logan and Rory great satisfaction, it was nothing in comparison to their home life. Almost a year and a half into marriage and Rory and Logan could not have been happier. After the wedding and a three-week family trip/honeymoon in Asia,  Rory, Logan, and Hayden settled into the next phase of their family life. Although it had it bumps along the way, the adjustment to living under one roof proved to be smoother than expected. All in all, it felt great to be together; to be able to come home to each other after a long day, to be able to do little things like spending Saturday morning in their pajamas eating cereal while watching cartoons, cuddling together on cold nights, even spending an hour or two folding laundry.  After living for so long with so much uncertainty and knowing that thiers was a life that could have possibly not have been, Rory and Logan were so thankful for every day they were together.

  

Rory stood in front of Logan holding up two dresses. "Which one looks good with a Chief Strategy Officer?"  Before Logan could answer the alarm on Rory’s phone went off. Logan and Rory looked at each other with great apprehension. Then Rory went back into the bathroom, returning a few seconds later with a pregnancy test in her hand.

“Well?” The nervous yet excited Logan asked.

Rory looked at him and smiled.


End file.
